by Sue Welfare
‘I still don’t know what you’re talking about, Harry,’ Helen said.
‘Adam,’ he repeated.
Helen shook her head. ‘I have no idea who Adam is.’
‘Please don’t say that,’ he said.
‘But it’s true, Harry –’
‘Sorry,’ he mumbled again. ‘We’ve done our best by him, all these years, we really have – I just thought …’ Finally, looking anxious and tearful, the words dried in his throat.
From the corner of her eye Helen could see Felix making frantic keep it rolling gestures to the cameraman. If Helen wasn’t almost certain that it would end up being broadcast she would have turned round and slapped him.
‘Harry,’ Helen said, very slowly in case there was some chance he had misunderstood her. ‘I haven’t got a son. I’ve never had a son. I haven’t got any children. I’ve never had children.’
Harry shifted his weight. ‘No, well I mean I know that’s the party line, and that’s what everyone else thinks. So no, not officially, but we both know you have really. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you – I can understand exactly why you did it. You gave him up for adoption, and we adopted him. Me and Kate, Charlotte – Kate. She sings at the Bull on a Saturday night, keeps her hand in. I was hoping you might do a duet with her, you know, for old times’ sake.’ He said it as if trying to lighten the mood; he looked around again expecting confirmation, his expression pained and growing more so. ‘He’s expecting you.’
Helen stared at him. ‘He’s expecting me?’ she whispered. ‘You told him that I was coming?’
‘Well, of course I did,’ said Harry. ‘I thought that was the whole point of you doing the programme. A big reunion after all these years. I told Adam that you probably wouldn’t be here until tomorrow; Natalia thought that was best, so you could get yourself settled.’
Helen turned to glare at Natalia, who looked away mumbling something noncommittal.
‘And I have to say that I thought it was all a bit strange doing it now, and doing it on the telly,’ Harry was saying. ‘But then again what do I know? You’re the star, and I thought – oh I don’t know – the thing is, Adam has got lots of questions. It’s obvious that he would have really. It’s been so hard all these years. He knows all about you obviously, as much as we could tell him. We both understand that you really wanted him to have a stable family life, Helen. And you needn’t worry, he has. We did our very best by him. Kate told me all about it – and it must have been so hard for you to give him up, even if it was for the best. He is a lovely, lovely person, but bringing him up in a proper family, doing right by him, that was the main thing.’
Helen stared at him. ‘Oh, Harry,’ she whispered. ‘I haven’t got a son. Adam’s not mine.’
Harry paused, looking increasingly uncomfortable, and pressed on as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘Kate told me that you’d offered to help support him right from the start, but that she had told you no, that if she was going to adopt him then she was happy for us to do it on our own. I’ve said to her several times over the years, why don’t you just ring Helen, not for us but for Adam’s sake, get her to give him a bit of a leg up – get her involved in his life, you know, fundraise for the school or maybe give the prizes on sports day or something, but she’s always been adamant. And Adam’s just the same, but then I always think he doesn’t want to go against his mum – I mean, like upset Kate, you know. Anyway I understand that you gave up a lot, but we have always done our best by him. Always.’ Harry was more self-assured now, on safer ground. He smiled at her. ‘We’ve always loved him.’
‘I don’t know what to say,’ said Helen.
‘There’s nothing you need to say, not to me. But Adam, I know he would really like to talk to you. He’s always been a credit to us, to you, to all of us,’ Harry said. ‘He’s a real hard worker – a good boy – not been a day’s trouble in his life. We didn’t want to tarnish your reputation by letting on, that’s what Kate always said and I’m all for that – and I don’t think we have. We’ve always kept up our side of the bargain, Helen. But if you feel now that the time is right, well, that’s your decision.’ He smiled. ‘I suppose times are different now, aren’t they? And if you want to tell people now then that’s up to you, but I want you to know that we’ve always kept it to ourselves.’
Helen shook her head. ‘Harry, stop this. We need to talk to Kate, this is ridiculous. Felix, can you please stop filming. All this is crazy,’ she murmured. ‘My reputation? Harry, you have to believe me. I haven’t got a son.’
‘National treasure – people’s sweetheart.’ Harry smiled warmly at her, his voice reassuring. ‘I mean I’m sure people would understand – just one little mistake, it could happen to anyone – but then I’ve always thought you were never like the rest of them.’
‘Harry, please – just stop.’
Helen stared at him. His expression was full of compassion and kindness. She could see he was trying to convince her it was all right to confess, that he understood.
‘How old is Adam?’ Helen asked.
Harry frowned. ‘You don’t remember how old your own son is?’
‘Harry, I’ve already told you he’s not my son.’ She looked around the interior of the storeroom, piles of toys stacked from floor to ceiling, wondering what she could say to convince him. ‘Where’s Kate?’ she said after a second or two.
‘Ah, well you see, that’s the thing,’ said Harry. ‘She’s in Spain at the moment. I don’t know if you know but her dad got married again and retired out there.’
Helen stared at him. ‘And?’
‘She’s been over there for ten days to visit him. When Roots contacted us, Kate said she didn’t want anything to do with the show or any of this,’ Harry lifted a hand to encompass the film crew. ‘I was really surprised, you know, especially given how she usually feels about being in the spotlight. Anyway, Kate thought it was a cheap shot –’ he nodded towards Natalia. ‘I’m sorry about that, but Kate was adamant. She said that we’d brought Adam up this far and she couldn’t see how it would help anyone airing your dirty linen in public. She said she was amazed you’d agreed to it and she was really, really anti us getting involved.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so angry, Helen, and you know she’s got a temper on her; but this was something different. She was worried about Adam, and you. But I thought if you’d agreed, that maybe it was high time it was all out in the open. And Adam has always wanted to know about you. So when I got to the shop the next day I rang Natalia back and here you are.’ He paused. ‘I know Adam has got all sorts of questions, and he has been playing in a band for years. And the woman in charge at Roots said that maybe if –’ He looked pointedly at Felix and Natalia.
Helen swung round and glared at Felix. ‘That maybe if what?’ she snapped.
Felix made cut, cut gestures to the crew.
‘Don’t you dare cut,’ growled Helen to the cameraman. ‘I want this on tape. Do you understand? What did the woman at Roots tell you, Harry?’
‘Nothing – nothing at all,’ Natalia interrupted.
This time it was Harry who looked outraged. ‘That’s not true and you know it. You and your boss said that if we let you use the story you’d put Adam’s band in the programme. A proper feature. You promised. I mean why did we bother filming the band if you’re not going to use it?’
Natalia looked from face to face.
Helen felt a great surge of fury. ‘You mean you and what’s-her-name back at head office agreed to whatever it took to get Adam in the programme?’ said Helen. ‘Tell me I’m wrong, Natalia!’
‘It was a gift, and Ruth agreed with me. She backed me every step of the way with this,’ said Natalia. ‘It was just too good a story to ignore – we all knew that. We had no idea about Adam, but as soon as Harry told us about him we knew we had to go with it.’
‘You told them?’ said Helen to Harry, incredulous.
He nodded. ‘Yes, from the way they
were talking I assumed that they knew all about him. Natalia was saying it would be about family secrets and abandoned children, and I presumed that they meant Adam.’
Helen stared at him, feeling tears prickling her eyes. ‘Oh, Harry, they didn’t mean Adam. They meant me – me and my mum. I don’t know what’s going on here, but we need to talk to Kate. I don’t know whose son Adam is but he certainly isn’t mine. I never had any children.’
For a moment Harry looked as if he might protest, and then the facade crumpled. ‘Oh my God,’ he whispered, eyes bright. ‘What have I done? How can he not be yours? All these years I’ve always thought –’ He stared at her. ‘God, I’m so sorry. In that case whose is he?’
‘We need to talk to Kate,’ said Helen gently.
Harry nodded. ‘She’ll be home tomorrow. When we arranged the filming Roots thought it would make good TV if we could have Kate’s reaction when she arrived back – you know, once you were here.’
Helen glanced at Natalia. ‘So this whole filming schedule has been arranged around Adam and Kate?’ she asked. ‘All those dates and all that nonsense about scheduling issues, was about this? You know I’ve arranged my tour dates around the filming, don’t you. I’ve arranged it all so that you can film a son I never had?’
Natalia, her face ashen, nodded. ‘Ruth thought it would be like a grand finale. We’re going to send a car to the airport for Kate.’
‘Telling her what exactly?’ asked Helen.
‘Nothing,’ said Natalia. ‘Harry said that she usually has a local cab company to pick her up when Harry and Adam are at work, so she won’t think it’s odd if they’re not there to meet her. It’ll just be a different firm as far as she is concerned.’
‘And who else knows about Adam?’
‘The production team. The guys back at the office, obviously, and we’ve been putting a trailer together. Adam’s band are really good,’ said Natalia.
Helen stared at her. ‘I can’t believe you; this is complete madness. You’re messing around with people’s lives. Why didn’t you run all this by me first?’
‘Because that isn’t how we work. We knew you’d kept this hidden for years and we wanted a genuine reaction on camera. It’s what people watch Roots for, those big emotional moments. And I’m just going with what they told me at head office,’ Natalia said. ‘I think we all just assumed it would be a big reveal, lots of hugs and tears and then happy ever after. I mean it might take some bridge building but we have people, counsellors and –’ Seeing Helen’s expression, Natalia’s attempt at the hard sell faded. ‘I’m just saying,’ she said, ‘We do a lot of this kind of thing –’
‘This kind of thing?’
‘Bridge building.’
‘This isn’t about bridge building, this is completely and utterly irresponsible. These people are my friends.’ Helen looked at Harry. Kind, gentle Harry. ‘My friends,’ she repeated. ‘People I care about.’
‘I appreciate what you’re saying, Helen, but when it came to Adam, Harry said that Adam has always known that you are his mother,’ protested Natalia. ‘It wasn’t going to come as any big surprise to him. We weren’t going to tell him anything he didn’t already know.’
Helen glared at her. ‘Yes, but the problem is that it isn’t true. I’m not his mother, am I?’
‘We didn’t know that,’ Natalia said weakly. ‘We really didn’t.’
Helen sighed and then looked at Harry, who looked so distraught, she thought he might burst into tears.
‘What have I done?’ he murmured. ‘What on earth am I going to tell Adam?’
‘We can sort this out,’ said Helen taking his hand. ‘We just need to talk to Kate.’
‘There’s got to have been some sort of misunderstanding,’ Harry said lamely.
Helen nodded. ‘Kate will be home soon. We’ll talk to her then.’
‘She told me Adam was yours, and you know –’ he paused, a bright tear rolling down his cheek. ‘I believed her, and if I’m honest I was glad, because I’d always loved you, Helen, you know that. Even after all these years. I kept imagining what it would be like if you and I – if Adam had been ours and we’d been together. I kept hoping that you would come home. Having Adam in our lives was like having a little part of you in my life every day.’
Helen stared at him; the words made her heart ache. ‘Oh, Harry,’ she whispered, watching more tears well up in his eyes, and then very slowly, she put her arms round him and held him close. ‘I’ve missed you so much,’ she said, and it wasn’t until the words were out that she realised how true they were.
ELEVEN
And the Winners are –
‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure you’ll agree that we’ve had a real night to remember here at the Carlton Rooms’ first ever talent extravaganza. What a great show it’s been, hey, folks?’ said the compere in his tight grey suit. ‘But it’s not over yet. While our panel of judges confer, Eddie Grey and the fabulous house orchestra, along with our very own Carlton Room singers, will be serenading us with a medley from the sensational Abba. Take it away, Eddie!’ There was a ripple of applause through the auditorium as the opening bars rolled out through the sound system.
Meanwhile backstage the tension was almost unbearable; everyone was on tenterhooks waiting for the judges to make up their minds. Helen had found herself a quiet spot to perch, while Charlotte was pacing up and down the corridor like a caged tiger, gnawing away at her thumbnail. Other people were pacing with her or smoking. It seemed as if none of the acts had been given their own dressing room. One man was sitting in a corner distractedly ripping the programme for the show into ever smaller and smaller pieces. Hardly anyone was talking to anyone else, any conversation reduced to a low intense anxious murmur. Only the acrobats looked relaxed. There were about a dozen of them all dressed in white singlets and tight, white, pencil-slim trousers. They were sitting on the bottom of the stairs playing poker.
‘How can they be so calm?’ snapped Charlotte to no one in particular.
‘Because they’ve got a job to go to next week; they’re booked solid through till Christmas next year for some sort of international show,’ said one of the dancers, who was leaning up against the fire doors puffing away at a cigarette. ‘I was talking to one of them earlier. The cute one with the curly blonde hair.’ She pointed. ‘They came over on some sort of a cultural exchange from Russia. They only do this sort of thing for a bit of publicity, and a bit of beer money if they win.’
‘You think they’ll win?’ asked Helen.
The girl shrugged. ‘Who knows. Depends on what the judges are looking for, really. And anyway you and your mate did ok, didn’t you? The punters loved you. Weren’t they baying for more?’
Charlotte, breaking off from pacing, grinned. ‘Yeah, that was us, we had to do an encore. Only encore in the whole show.’
‘There you go then, sounds like a shoo-in to me,’ said the girl.
Charlotte, for once, came over all coy and self-effacing. ‘I’m hoping that’ll go in our favour. I mean we were the only ones who got one, it’s got to count for something, surely?’
The girl nodded. ‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you?’
‘What about you?’ asked Helen, hoping to turn the spotlight away from their performance in case someone mentioned the real reason they had been so popular.
‘Me? I’m not expecting to win nothing really,’ said the girl, taking a long drag on her cigarette. ‘I’m just hoping to get some more work out of it. I’ve met some people and there’s a bloke here looking for dancers for a show at the Corn Exchange. You want to go along, I’ve got his card if you want to give him a ring. They’re doing auditions next week and then it’s straight into rehearsals.’
‘Thanks, but actually we’re going to have a drink with an agent after the show. He’s from London. He came down to see us specially,’ said Charlotte smugly. ‘But thanks anyway.’ And then she giggled. ‘He’d be mad not to sign us up after getting that encore. What do y
ou say, Helen?’
Helen made a noncommittal noise, she couldn’t bring herself to meet Charlotte’s eye. The last thing she wanted was to have to explain to her what the couple in the bar had said. Since coming back from the pub she had kept her coat on.
‘Oh, don’t take any notice of her,’ said Charlotte casually, taking the cigarette the dancer offered her. ‘She can be a real wet blanket.’ Charlotte let out a long sigh. ‘God, how much longer do you think they’re going to be?’
As if on cue, one of the stage hands came out into the corridor wearing a set of headphones. ‘Hi, folks. Can I have your attention, please? Can we have you all ready to go back on stage,’ he said beckoning them towards him. ‘The judges are coming back at the end of this number, so if you can make your way onto the back of the stage – and let’s keep the noise down …’
Helen could hear the singers behind the heavy curtains as they crept across the stage to their places. All the various acts, sheep-dogged by the crew, arranged themselves around the back of the stage in a horseshoe. They were barely settled when the final song came to an end; the audience began to applaud and after a few more seconds the voice of the compere came over the PA.
‘Well, wasn’t that something, ladies and gentlemen? Let’s give the boys and girls a warm hand and Eddie, take a bow – great stuff. What a performance. Now behind these curtains we’ve got all the contestants from tonight’s show and I know there are a lot of very nervous people back there, so without further ado let’s get those curtains open and see the fabulous acts that have given us all so much pleasure tonight.’
As the curtains glided open there was a great volley of applause. Charlotte turned on her most radiant smile and waved. Helen was hoping that as they were all huddled together no one would be able to see through their costumes.
‘And let’s get our chair of judges, Mr Andrew Steinman, out here – and for those of you who don’t know, Andrew is one of the top impresarios in the country, and we’re truly delighted that he’s here with us tonight to help judge the competition. Yes, come on up, Andrew,’ said the compere warmly. ‘Up you come.’