by Sue Welfare
There was a moment when Helen thought that Leon was going to argue and cause a scene but in the end he just shrugged and sighed. ‘Can you just give us a few minutes to get dressed?’
The porter nodded and let the door swing shut.
Helen glanced anxiously at Harry, who caught hold of her hand to reassure her. ‘It’ll be fine,’ he mouthed.
What seemed like seconds later the door to the room was flung open and Charlotte stormed out, followed close behind by Leon Downey. Charlotte had a face like thunder, her hair all over the place, her clothes awry, her coat bundled up in her arms. She glared at Helen. ‘You think you’re so bloody clever, don’t you?’ she snarled. ‘Happy now? You know you’ve ruined everything, don’t you?’
Helen said nothing.
They all made their way downstairs in the lift in complete silence, the air so tense between them that you could have snapped it like a stick. Leon Downey spent most of the downward journey fixing his tie and combing his hair. He looked remarkably calm for a man being thrown out of a hotel in the small hours. As they stepped out into the foyer he made as if to take hold of Charlotte’s arm but a sharp look from Harry dissuaded him.
‘If I find you on the premises again, Mr Downey,’ said the porter guiding them all towards the main doors, ‘I’ll have no option but to call the police, do I make myself clear?’
Downey grunted. ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your mate didn’t say that when he took my bloody money.’ At the door he turned his attention to Charlotte. ‘I’ll give you a bell in the week, petal, or you can ring me if you like. I’ve got your number right here.’ He tapped his top pocket. ‘Let’s have a little chat about the things we were talking about, see if we can’t do some business. And as far as I’m concerned you’ve got what it takes, sweetie, you really have. You’ve got my number?’
Charlotte nodded.
‘You’re not going to ring him, are you?’ asked Helen, unable to stop herself.
‘It’s got nothing to do with you who I ring,’ said Charlotte, pulling on her coat.
‘Come on, Charlotte,’ said Harry. ‘Let’s get back to the flat. Helen needs to be up in the morning.’
Meekly Charlotte let him take her arm and lead her back towards the car, but not before she turned to Helen and said, ‘I never want to speak to you again as long as I draw breath, is that clear? Me and you and the whole Wild Birds thing, it’s over – all of it. We’re history. Do you understand?’
Helen stared at her and nodded, realising that in amongst the great surge of hurt the other feeling she had was one of relief.
FOURTEEN
Harry and Helen were waiting in the storeroom for Natalia to come back and give them her verdict on what was going to happen next. Helen had her own opinions.
‘I wish I’d rung you before,’ said Harry. ‘I’ve thought about it no end over the years, but Kate was always so adamant. No contact, she said. I think she was worried you might take Adam away.’
‘I wish I’d rung you, Harry,’ said Helen,.’ Not about Adam, but for old times’ sake. I should have kept in touch and then maybe none of this would ever have happened. It’s my fault; I was just so stunned when you told me that you had asked Charlotte to marry you.’
‘Long time ago now.’ Harry pulled a funny lopsided smile.
‘I still remember how it felt.’
He sighed. ‘We can’t turn back the clock. Come on, let’s go and see what that lot are planning,’ he said, and pushed open the door.
‘To be perfectly honest I think we should just wrap it up here and head round to Helen’s old house, get that in the can and then head back to the hotel,’ Natalia was saying as Helen and Harry came out of the storeroom together. ‘Time’s getting on and we can’t move on with this thread until Kate –’ she glanced down at her clipboard, ‘it is Kate, isn’t it – until she gets back and we get the full SP on this whole kid thing.’
Helen stared at them. ‘What did you just say?’
The crew, Natalia and Felix and the others, were huddled together having an impromptu state-of-the-union conference in the shop, over by the Lego display. At the sound of Helen’s voice they all swung round to look at her.
Natalia did have the grace to look a little sheepish. ‘Sorry about that, but let’s face it – Kate is the one with all the answers here, isn’t she? And we can’t do any more here until she shows up. So how about we stop digging and take you back to your old house? The new tenant said she’s really happy for us to film there; interiors and everything.’
Natalia took another look at her clipboard. ‘And Harry here said we can go and look around your old flat if we want to – and then while we’re in the car if we could maybe just take a quick look at the schedule for next week? It looks like an easy haul really; we’ve contacted a few old names from the good old days. And we’ve already picked out some great archive footage from your old shows, and the network have agreed to let us film on the set of Cannon Square.’
Helen stared at Natalia. ‘And we’re moving on just like that?’
‘Well there’s nothing we can do here till Kate gets home really, is there?’
Helen sighed.
‘So, Cannon Square,’ Natalia prompted.
‘I haven’t been back there since I left,’ said Helen testily.
‘Yes I know. It’s a real coup. We’re doing some “what was it like back then?” reminiscences with that segment – Carrie Haines, Richard Lewin, oh and Bill Duffy – the one with cancer? He’s said he’d love to take part. We’re going to – I think it’s Acton – to film him at home.’
‘He’s been really ill.’
‘I know, but he’s such a trouper; he said he wouldn’t miss recording something for your show for the world. Weren’t you two a bit of an item at one time?’ Natalia paused for effect. ‘We did have him down as an odds-on favourite to be Adam’s father. We had been hoping to tie it all up – you know, this, meeting Adam, and then meeting his dad …’
Helen shook her head; when it came right down to it, once you got past the cutesy floral dresses and woolly berets, Natalia had all the empathy of a great white shark.
‘Anyway,’ Natalia was saying, ‘I think the Cannon Square thing was the only real query on the copy I emailed you and I just wanted to let you know that it was a go. Okay? So if we could get the wagons rolling folks –’ She clapped her hand and almost at once the crew started to pack up their equipment.
‘Wait – what about Adam?’ said Helen incredulously. ‘We can’t just move on as if nothing has happened. He’s expecting to meet me, isn’t he? Wasn’t that in your big plan?’
Natalia nodded. ‘Well, yes, but we said we’d play it by ear. I thought his dad could ring him. You’re all right with that, aren’t you, Harry? Although to be honest I’d be far happier if we could talk to Kate before we do anything at all really. Do you think you can hold Adam off till then, Harry? It seems only right.’
‘Only right?’ Helen spluttered. ‘What the hell are you talking about? There is nothing right about this at all. He’s a person, Natalia; you can’t just switch him off because it’s inconvenient. Thanks to you he’s waiting somewhere, expecting to meet his long-lost mother. For God’s sake, woman, have you got any idea what you’ve done here?’
‘We didn’t do anything, Helen. We’re just filming it,’ said Natalia calmly. ‘All this was going on long before we got here, you have to remember that. Okay, so I’m prepared to concede that, yes, thanks to us, it’s come to a head, but none of it is our doing.’
Helen stared at her. ‘Are you serious? What had you got planned on your schedule for Adam?’
Natalia looked away, so it was Harry who replied. ‘We thought you could meet him at the theatre, you know, after the show tomorrow. Natalia said we could have sort of a reunion in the dressing room. It seemed like the natural place really. You’re a star, and Adam and Kate both love show business – it made sense when we talked about it.’ He glanced across at Natalia for confirmation, who did a funny littl
e shimmying shrug which implied it was nothing to do with her.
‘And what time is Kate due back?’ Helen asked.
‘Tomorrow lunch time,’ said Harry. ‘I really ought to go and ring Adam. He’ll be on tenterhooks.’
‘And tell him what?’ asked Helen anxiously.
‘How about you tell him that you haven’t seen her yet?’ suggested Natalia. Harry and Helen both turned to look at her.
‘If you feel you have to ring him, that is – rather than get his hopes up,’ Natalia blustered. ‘We can’t explain anything without the full facts. It might be easier just to wait until Kate gets back.’
‘Shame you didn’t think about getting the full facts beforehand,’ said Helen.
‘It’ll be okay,’ said Harry, ‘I haven’t told him you were arriving today. I wanted to talk to you first, but he knows you’re at the theatre tomorrow. He hasn’t talked about anything else all week while his mum’s been away.’
Helen sighed. ‘How is her dad these days?’
Harry raised his eyebrows. ‘Kate’s? It’s difficult. His new wife’s twenty-eight, that’s why Kate was going out to stay with him this week; Candy is off visiting her mum and dad. Kate’s dad is no dad at all when it comes right down to it. I think that’s why she can be like she is sometimes –’ Harry paused. ‘But she is much better these days, a lot less volatile – she’s really mellowed over the years.’
Helen smiled; she wanted to believe him.
‘Kate used to go and visit your dad, you know. Take him things, pies and pot roasts; she’s a cracking cook.’
‘What?’ said Helen.
Harry pressed on, oblivious to any impact his words might be having. ‘Oh yes, she used to pop round there at least once a week – she used to take Adam over there to see him. I always thought it was a nice thing, you know – letting him see his grandson.’
‘Oh my God.’ Helen felt her eyes filling up with tears. ‘Is that what she told my dad, that Adam was mine?’
Harry looked aghast. ‘Oh, Helen I’m so sorry, I didn’t think. No, I don’t know what she told him. I’ve got no idea.’
Helen closed her eyes and made a real effort to control herself. There was nothing she could do about any of this until Charlotte came home. And how could she possibly explain to anyone, particularly Harry, just how much she was dreading seeing her again after all these years?
‘What time are you on stage tomorrow, Helen?’ asked Natalia, breaking her train of thought.
‘I have to be there for a run-through and technical checks in the afternoon,’ said Helen, turning to face her. ‘You already know that. We emailed you the times. I’m not playing whatever games you have in mind,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what you’re cooking up in that head of yours but I’ve got a show to do.’
Natalia looked wounded.
‘And so have I,’ said Felix, the director, who up until now had remained steadfastly silent. ‘I don’t want to break up the party, guys, but we really need to get on. I’d like to get to Victoria Street while we’ve still got the light.’
‘It’ll be all right,’ said Harry, shooing Helen away. ‘You go and do the rest of the filming. I’ll be fine. And so will Adam.’ He grinned a lazy lopsided grin that she remembered only too well. ‘. I’ve really missed you.’ And with that he threw his arms around her. ‘I’m glad you’re back.’
Helen closed her eyes and let the sensation engulf her.
‘It’s good to see you too, Harry,’ she said. ‘It really is. I’ve missed you too.’
The words made her voice crack and break, but inside her head Helen’s thoughts were racing. It felt like she had stepped into a hurricane.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said.
Helen nodded.
The crew headed out towards the car. Helen fell into step behind them, glad to be outside and wishing for all the world that they were going back to the hotel. She needed time to think. Natalia was about to speak but Helen held up a hand to silence her.
‘I know I have to talk to you during the filming but I just need a few minutes to get it all straight in my head, do you understand?’
Natalia opened her mouth to reply.
‘Don’t,’ said Helen.
Natalia sniffed. ‘Take your time. Anyway, given what’s happened with Adam, I really should ring Ruth to discuss the shape of what we’re doing here.’
And with that Natalia picked up her bag, tucked her clipboard under her arm and walked briskly down the path, away from the car. At the corner of the street she pulled out a mobile phone and a packet of cigarettes from her jacket and, whilst dialling with one thumb, lit up. They were strange thin brown things more like a cheroot than a cigarette, which made Helen think of Arthur. Maybe now was the moment to ring him.
She pulled out her phone, realising as she did that she was hoping that there was a message from Bon, or Arthur, but it looked like neither of them had thought to let her know how they were.
Bon was in Dubai with what’s-her-name. To be fair he was probably up to his eyes in rehearsals and all the technical stuff, said a calming voice in her head, the one that was trying to ignore the roar of insecurity and the worry that maybe he was up to his eyes in what’s-her-name instead.
And Arthur? God alone knew what he was up to. Briskly Helen tucked the phone away; now wasn’t the time. What could she possibly say to either of them? How long would it take her to explain the state that she was in?
‘Are you all right?’ asked Felix, as Helen settled herself in the back of the car and looked up at Harry’s shop.
‘I’ve got no idea,’ said Helen with a sigh. ‘I knew it was going to be tough coming back here, and it is, but for all the wrong reasons. This is crazy.’
Felix nodded towards Natalia. ‘You know she means well. She’s just young and hungry. You remember how that feels.’
Helen laughed. ‘I hope to God I had more compassion when I was her age.’
Felix laughed. ‘Yeah, I think they breed them differently these days. This mess isn’t her fault, you know – whatever was going on here was happening a long time before we showed up.’
Helen nodded, ‘Yes, I know, but how we handle it is down to us. I had no idea about any of this.’ She sighed. ‘Maybe I should have come home earlier.’
Outside the car Natalia had started to pace up and down.
‘She is just so young,’ sighed Helen.
‘You’re right,’ Felix said. ‘First time I met Natalia I thought she was on work experience.’
Helen laughed. ‘Easy mistake to make.’
‘Made me feel like a bloody dinosaur. She’s going to be good when she’s had a few of the edges knocked off.’
Helen looked across at Natalia. She was jabbing the air with her fingers now and blowing great plumes of smoke out. Whatever was being said, Helen suspected it wasn’t going quite to plan. Finally Natalia came back to the car.
‘And?’ said Felix, opening the door for her.
‘Victoria Street,’ Natalia said briskly, flicking the cigarette away. ‘Before the light goes.’
FIFTEEN
On the short drive back from the Billingsfield Arms Hotel to Harry’s flat no one spoke. The atmosphere inside Harry’s Mini was icy cold. Charlotte didn’t say a word when they got back to the flat and marched straight in to Helen’s room slamming the door behind her. Harry went to bed, alone, and Helen curled under a blanket on the sofa for what was left of the night. She propped her clock up on the coffee table just a few inches from her head and was asleep in seconds. Helen dreamt she was being chased by magicians and Leon Downey and a man who kept tapping his clipboard and telling her that she was late.
The instant the alarm went off Helen was awake; she switched it off and slipped noiselessly out from under the blanket. Pulling on her dressing gown she tiptoed to the bathroom, and washed and dressed as quietly as she could. Helen was just about to leave when Harry opened his bedroom door.
‘Morning,’ he said, rubbing
his eyes. ‘Are you okay?’
Helen nodded.
‘Did you manage to get any sleep?’ he asked.
Helen nodded. ‘Yes, thanks. You didn’t have to get up, you know, Harry,’ she said, pulling on her coat. ‘Why don’t you go back to bed? It’s Sunday morning, no work – you can have a lie in.’
‘Did you have any breakfast?’ he asked, already on his way to the kitchen.
‘No, but I’ll be okay, I’m not hungry,’ she said, following behind, not wanting the sound of their voices to wake Charlotte. ‘I’ll grab something when I get there.’
‘You can’t go out without eating something.’ He pressed his hand to the kettle. ‘You haven’t even had a drink.’
‘Stop fussing,’ she said, buttoning her coat.
He raised his eyebrows. ‘At least have a cup of tea and a slice of toast before you go.’
‘I’ll be late,’ she laughed. ‘I’ll take it with me.’
‘Okay, as long as you have something. Don’t worry about Charlotte, I’ll see she rings her dad and gets home.’ He dropped teabags into two mugs. ‘It was good of you to give up your bed for her.’
Helen shrugged dismissively. ‘I don’t think I had much choice. And besides, I don’t think she would have been very happy on the sofa, do you? At least this way I could get out without disturbing anybody. Last thing I wanted was for her to start all over again.’
He dropped two slices of bread into the toaster. ‘You could have come and slept in my bed.’
Helen looked at him and blushed. ‘I didn’t want to spend my first night with you with Charlotte in the next room.’
Harry grinned. ‘So you haven’t gone off the idea?’
Helen laughed. and slapped his arm playfully.
‘You know we did the right thing, don’t you?’ he said.
‘Not sleeping together?’
‘No,’ he laughed. ‘Going to get Charlotte. It was the right thing to do.’
Helen leaned against the doorframe watching him work. His thick blonde hair was tousled from sleep. He was wrapped in his dressing gown, and padding around in bare feet he looked more like a twelve-year-old boy than a grown man. She couldn’t help but love him.