by Unknown
“It is good.” Theo nodded, slapping his partner on the back. “Now, come, we are tonight’s entertainment and we must go get ready.”
Katie watched the two of them argue their way up the long, spiral staircase, glancing over at Sebastian when they were gone.
“Eccentric little duo, aren’t they?” She wrinkled her nose, a thing so endearing it made him melt every time.
“Don’t worry about the Italy thing,” he said, his arm tightening around her shoulders. “I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“You really want to, don’t you?” She looked up at him, eyes searching.
“If it were just me?” He shrugged. “Yeah, I would go. It’s kind of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
She lowered her head, her fingers playing with the charm around her neck.
“Listen, Katie.” He pulled her aside, away from the raucous crowd, into the alcove created by the curve of the staircase. He wanted to tell her, really impress upon her, how he felt. “My life is with you. Wherever you are. If you want to stay here, I’m staying. If you’d be unhappy moving to Europe, then I’d be unhappy too.”
“But—”
He kissed her, stopping her next words, because they wouldn’t have been how she really felt and that’s all he wanted to know. He didn’t want her to capitulate or placate him. He only wanted what she wanted. He had known it the minute he saw her sitting at his mother’s kitchen table, her legs curled up, feet tucked under her body, her dark hair falling forward as she sipped a cup of tea, that he would do anything, follow her anywhere, just to be next to her. He’d spent the better part of a year slowly, steadily pressing himself into her life until she found him invaluable.
He’d never wanted anything more than he wanted Katie. Even his first experience with opera—which had thrilled him almost as much, but not quite—couldn’t compare. He’d thankfully had a very liberally minded single-mother who thought his love of singing and opera was cultured and refined—and not “gay,” like a father in the picture might have labeled it. Sebastian’s dad was a memory by the time he decided on his life’s path, a man who had crossed time zones only occasionally to remember his son on a birthday or maybe Christmas. Sebastian didn’t know where he was now and didn’t care. His life was singing—and Katie. Not necessarily in that order.
“You don’t believe me?” He watched the way her gaze skipped away from his. She never could understand how he could love her so much when she couldn’t stand to even look at herself in the mirror. “I don’t know what else I could do to convince you.”
“You don’t have to convince me,” she said with a shake of her head.
“Katie, I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel about you.” He looked down at the necklace, frowning, knowing whatever Theo and Sal said it symbolized, it meant something else and Sebastian could feel it, although he wasn’t quite sure what. Some sort of connection or hold over her maybe. It made no sense, and maybe he was just being the jealous boyfriend, but he realized, seeing it around her neck, that he had never made a commitment to her, not really. They’d spent years living together and he had yet to offer her a symbol of his love.
“I want what you want. I always have.” He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to hers, determined to tell her, finally tell her. “I’ve spent years, going slow, giving you space, holding you when you were scared, keeping you safe, wanting you so much it hurt and still, letting you set the pace, set the tone.”
“I know.” Her voice was choked. “I’m sorry…”
“No.” He opened his eyes, giving her shoulders a shake to wake her up, make her see. “I wouldn’t change a minute of it, don’t you understand that? I wouldn’t change a thing. You are who you are, and I love you. No one else. There was no one before you and if you died tomorrow there wouldn’t ever be anyone else. I decided a long time ago—and some part of me knows it wasn’t even a choice, because I was meant to be with you—that I would do anything for you. No matter what. So when I say I’m not going anywhere without you, I mean it. If you wanted to quit your job and join the circus, I would follow you. If you wanted to fly to see the magical man in the moon—I’d go with you.”
She was smiling, laughing through her tears. That was good. Better.
“But Sebastian,” she whispered, touching his face with trembling fingers. “Don’t you know I feel the same?”
“Do you?” He’d always been too afraid to push, to ask. It felt too needy. She was with him. She continued to stay with him. That was answer enough, wasn’t it?
“Oh Sebastian.” She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him.
That was as close as he got to an answer and he knew it didn’t matter. Nothing was going to change the way he felt for her and in some ways, he knew Theo was right. He didn’t want to understand this woman—he wanted the spend the rest of his life experiencing her.
That was more than enough for him.
Chapter Four
“Malcolm, you’re an ass!”
Sebastian heard Katie’s voice and hesitated just a moment outside their door. He was already in a bad mood, having finally had it out with the new director that Theo was training. Sebastian’s stomach rumbled and he could smell dinner cooking, realizing he hadn’t eaten since breakfast, which had consisted of a Snickers bar and a Mountain Dew.
But his stomach was the least of his worries. Katie was arguing with someone—Malcolm, by the sound of it—and she sounded scared. Sebastian glanced back at the parking lot, looking for a car he didn’t recognize, wondering if she was just on the phone with the ex, or if he’d just dropped by unannounced. He knew the guy by name and reputation only—they’d never actually met.
“Get out!” Katie’s voice trembled.
“All right, doll.” A guy’s voice. Obviously Malcolm. Not on the phone then. “Take it easy. I’m going.”
The door opened and Sebastian found himself face-to-face with Mr. Testosterone. Malcolm was twice Sebastian’s size, which would have been formidable enough, but he was also wearing leather chaps and chains and resembled a younger, less gentle Grizzly Adams—if Grizzly Adams had been covered in tattoos.
Malcolm shoved by, using his shoulder to knock Sebastian out of the way as he headed past. Sebastian stared after him as the big man clomped up the short flight of stairs in motorcycle boots. That’s why he hadn’t seen a car—the motorcycle was hidden by a big pick-up. Malcolm roared out of the parking lot, barely missing someone turning into their little lot.
“Sorry.” Katie hugged herself like she was cold, although it was still eighty degrees, as Sebastian came into the apartment, shutting and locking the deadbolt behind him.
“Are you okay?” Sebastian moved toward her, felt her trembling as he took her into his arms. For once, she didn’t pull away and he stroked her hair, glancing back at the door.
“What was he doing here?” He suspected Malcolm was the latest reason Katie was scared of everything all the time—especially sex. Having now experienced him in person, Sebastian started fantasizing about buying himself a gun.
“He just wanted some old stuff I still have of his somewhere.” Katie sniffed, untangling herself from him, heading to the stove. “I told him I’d try to find it. I think we put it in that closet in the laundry room.”
Whatever she was cooking smelled even better inside than it had outside and it drew him into the kitchen. He knew she and Malcolm had dated for the good part of a year before he met her. Then, according to Katie, Malcolm had lost interest and moved cross-country to live with some other girl.
He was obviously back in town.
“So he’s living here now?” Sebastian asked, taking a seat at the table.
He should have been used to cats underfoot by then—they were everywhere—stretched out on the sofa, curled into those little cat towers. There was even one lying belly-up in the middle of the kitchen table. But it still surprised him that they had so many.
“He said he’s only back for a few days.
Anyway, welcome home.” Katie look flustered, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“How did that big ape know where we live?” he asked..
“I bought you Coke.” Katie shooed a cat off a kitchen chair so he could sit in a thick pile of white hair.
“Any in the fridge?” The white cat he had rescued from behind the washing machine leapt back up into his lap, her blue eyes checking him out as she turned around and flicked her tail past his nose. “Why in the hell did you let that asshole in the house?”
“Yep, I made sure it was cold.” She stood in front of the open refrigerator on one bare foot, the other tucked behind her ankle. She was ignoring his comments about Malcolm and it was pissing him off.
“Don’t let him in the house anymore, okay Katie?” He winced as the cat’s claws dug into his leg. Katie handed him a can of Coke and sat across from him at the table with a glass of wine.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized, looking toward the door. “He just kind of pushed his way in…”
He popped the lid and sucked off the foam. The cat perked up at the noise and then wiggled her nose against the can.
“He’s always been an ass like that.” She sighed, holding her wine glass against the side of her neck.
“That’s obvious.” He frowned, leaning back away from the cat in his lap and discovering another one draped over the back of his chair. “But I don’t like him in our apartment.”
“I don’t either, Sebastian.” She took a big swig of wine. He watched her slim throat working as she swallowed. She let out a soft burp, smiling apologetically. “I told you—he just pushed his way in.”
“Well next time call me,” he snapped. “Or call the fucking cops.”
“Okay, okay!” She sighed and held up her hands in a warding off gesture as the white cat dug her back claws into his leg when she jumped off. He winced but didn’t make a sound. Katie made a soft noise in her throat at the cat striding toward her, then she picked her up and cuddled her against her cheek. The cat looked like it was tolerating rather than enjoying it.
“What did he want anyway?”
“Believe it or not—baseball cards. He says they got mixed into my stuff. They’re supposed to be very valuable.” She shrugged. “I think he wants to sell them.”
“So… what’s for dinner?” Sebastian changed the subject, watching Katie kiss the cat’s pink nose before dropping her to the floor.
“Lasagna. Oh! The garlic bread!” She jumped up and headed for the stove.
He watched her bending over to look into the oven. She wasn’t wearing her boy shorts, which he loved on her—too bad—but the cutoffs she had on rode up her thighs quite nicely. He liked the way her red t-shirt pulled up a little when she stretched to get plates out of the cupboard, and the way she had pulled her long hair up into some sort of pony tail configuration on the back of her head, all loose and droopy, like it could fall out at any minute.
“Want some help?”
“Sure!” She was plucking pieces of hot garlic bread from a cookie sheet and tossing them into a towel-lined basket, blowing on her fingers between each one.
“Here.” He opened a drawer and pulled out a spatula. Then he slipped the utensil under the rest of the bread and up-ended it into the basket.
“Thanks.”
God, that smile. It reminded him once again why he put up with the fifteen cats, the menacing spectre of her ex-boyfriend and Katie’s endless bouts of frigidness. He just couldn’t help smiling back at her, even though it felt goofy to be standing there in their tiny kitchen just smiling at each other.
“You’re sweet, you know that?” She kissed him lightly and moved around him to grab the plates.
Sebastian looked down to see which cat was rubbing against his feet. It was the huge orange one, fatter than any television Morris or Garfield. He always muscled out the rest of them at dinner time. Sebastian opened a drawer and grabbed two forks.
Katie shooed away two cats as they tried to make figure-eights around her ankles. He got napkins from the counter and put the basket of garlic bread on the table.
“Wow!” Sebastian’s eyes widened, his mouth already watering as she pulled the lasagna out of the oven. “You went all out, baby! That’s not even Stouffer’s!”
She laughed, using the spatula to cut a huge corner chunk and plopping it on his plate. The fat orange cat sat at his feet, looking up and blinking like he was bored, but his tail swished and his gaze stayed on the plate. The lasagna was too hot to eat so Sebastian munched on garlic bread while he watched Katie serve herself about half his portion.
“So how was work?” Sebastian asked.
Most of the time he didn’t inquire. Katie was majoring in veterinary medicine and her internship often involved disgusting medical procedures she liked to discuss in gory detail.
“You don’t want to talk about that.” She smiled, tucking her foot under her as she sat. He looked at her pale pink instep and found himself wanting to kiss it.
“How did you guess?” Sebastian grinned, watching a grey cat appear from around the corner and jump up into her lap. She adjusted as it settled in.
“Did you have fun at the party last night?” She blew on a piece of lasagna hanging off her fork. Her mouth made a little ‘o’ when she did that and it enthralled him.
“Sure.” He took another bite of garlic bread and followed it with a swig of soda. “But I was glad we left when we did. You know how Theo gets when he’s drinking. So bitchy.”
“What do you expect?” She tested the pasta with her lips and found it cool enough to slide into her mouth. “I think you may be the only one in the entire performance who isn’t gay.”
“Just because I sing opera doesn’t mean I’m gay.” He knew he was flushing. He could feel the heat creeping up his neck.
“Quit teasing me, Katie.” He tried out his lasagna. It was still way too hot.
“I like teasing you.” She reached for her glass of wine, smiling. She knew he was sensitive about it. Singing opera didn’t exactly make him a chick magnet—quite the opposite, since girls seemed to find it about as masculine as a guy sporting a tutu.
“Besides, I know it’s not true.” She licked a bead of wine from her lip. “Believe me, I know. I’ve always thought it was sexy. Italian, German, French… you sing in all the romance languages.”
“You know, most opera singers don’t know the languages they sing in. They just learn the words… but you do.” She knew just how to twist him around her little finger.
“Fluent in seven languages and conversational in twelve.” She smiled at him with those dark blue eyes. The cat in her lap had nearly identical ones, and they were both staring at him, blinking.
“Almost as many languages as we have cats,” he joked. “You really find that sexy?”
“Uh-huh.” She shooed the cat off her lap and he blinked in disbelief as Katie slid to the floor and crawled across the kitchen floor, nuzzling his crotch under the table.
“Katie?” He said her name as if to check—who was this girl and what had she done with his girlfriend? The one who had to have sex in the dark with most of her clothes still on? The one who barely made a sound, even when he knew she was having an orgasm?
Who was this Katie?
“Mmmm, I think it’s time for that hero’s blowjob,” she murmured, working on the zipper of his jeans.
He stared at her, wondering if it was the wine gone to her head. He didn’t want to even entertain that it might have been the visit from the ex that had precipitated her change of sexual mood.
It had to be the wine.
“Oh god, Katie.” He moaned and she sucked and they forgot all about dinner and school and Malcolm’s unwelcome interruption. They forgot about everything but each other for a long, delicious while, and Sebastian decided that night, with Katie asleep in his arms, that he didn’t care if it would make her an alcoholic, he was going to make sure she had alcohol in her system as often as he could!
&nb
sp; Chapter Five
Sebastian hated picking Katie up from work. It wasn’t the tiny little parking lot—he usually had to park on the street, where he risked getting a ticket—or the high pitched whine of their receptionist who couldn’t stop talking to him, or anyone else for that matter, or the gruff old bark of the veterinarian, who was partially deaf and yelled all the time. It wasn’t any of those things—it was the smell. The place was clean—as clean as a place could be where dogs and cats and ferrets and guinea pigs outnumbered the humans—but he could still smell that animal smell, pungent and musky and strong.
At least today he didn’t have to deal with the parking lot, the receptionist or the veterinarian. Just the smell. And the noise. There were always dogs barking, cats howling, the occasional bird screeching.
He went around back, as Katie had instructed on the phone. She was working late, cleaning up after a stray bitch in heat brought in by animal control. Katie wasn’t an veterinarian yet. She wasn’t even an assistant, not officially, but the old vet relied on her to do a lot of things his other assistants wouldn’t. Like mopping up messes.
“Katie?” Sebastian called, going in the back way. She said it would be unlocked and it was, although he noticed the black and orange “CLOSED” sign had already been turned out front.
“Sebastian!?” she called, sounding out of breath, her voice full of desperation.
“Katie?” Alarmed, he turned right and headed toward the sound of her voice. The sound of the animals grew louder. “Are you okay?”
“I need help!” she gasped. “I’m down here! Kennel row!”
That turned his jog into a sprint.
“Katie?” He nearly skidded past the door, grabbing the edge of the frame to catch himself. He saw her cornered at end of the long hallway of kennels. He ran full tilt past the cages, ignoring the hisses and growls as he passed.
He stopped short as the dog—a big, broad-shouldered breed with a shovel head, all white except for a spot of black around the eye—turned toward him when it sensed him near.