by Presley Hall
And then I release her, my fingers uncurling from around her wrist. Forcing my muscles to comply, I turn and walk away.
This time, she doesn’t follow me.
The throbbing of my pulse seems to fill my entire body as I walk. My cock is rock hard, almost painful, reminding me that I’ve rarely allowed myself any kind of release. My mind feels foggy from it, my wits scrambled from the hot rush of lust that fills me.
I have half a mind to duck into the nearest alley and relieve myself where no one could see me. It would be easy, and it wouldn’t take long. Just a few minutes of my hand wrapped around my shaft, and then there would be release. I can almost feel how sweet it would be. I wouldn’t even have to think of Lucy while I did it.
Not her eyes looking up at me, or how that perfect mouth would look…
“Stop. Just deshing stop!” I growl to myself, reaching deep down within to find my focus again.
I’ve come this far. We’re closer than ever to defeating the Orkun, to making all the years of deprivation and devotion worth it, to securing the future that we’re now fighting for. Before, we were only fighting for revenge. Now we’re fighting for much more, and I can’t afford to be distracted. I can’t allow the selfish desires of my body to undo everything I’ve spent so long pursuing.
I allow a different emotion to fill me—one that I know much better, because I live with it daily. I allow my hate and rage to fill me briefly, to remind me of what my life’s purpose is. And then, as I do every day, I control it and channel it, allowing myself to settle back into the calmness of knowing who I am, and what I am here to do.
I am not a man meant for pleasure or indulgence. I am a warrior of Kalix, trained to the highest standard, my every instinct and reaction fine-tuned. I am, in and of myself, a weapon. Weapons do not want, or feel, or lust. They simply exist to destroy.
I exist to destroy the Orkun. And once they are gone, obliterated from the galaxy, I will exist to make sure that they never, ever return. That every last one of them is ground to dust, and will always remain so.
By the time I return to my quarters, I’ve mostly managed to put thoughts of Lucy from my head. But I still feel strangely agitated, almost fidgety, unable to calm my mind entirely. I feel out of place, as if my pod isn’t where I’m supposed to be.
That’s foolish, of course. I’ve spent years teaching myself to be calm and centered here, just as I am in the training ring or in battle. Here is where I come to reset, to clear my mind of anything that might have come to pass during the day, and to refocus my energy.
So why is that proving so difficult tonight?
A small voice in my head tells me that the only difference in tonight is Lucy. But I refuse to consider that possibility. There’s no room in my life for romance or even for simple lust.
My vow is to avenge my people. There’s no allowance for distraction from that.
Thankfully, my comms unit flickers to life before my thoughts can spiral any further. A robotic male voice breaks the silence, telling me there’s an incoming transmission from Aran.
Good. Exactly what I need right now. Hopefully some good deshing news.
“Tycran!” Aran’s voice crackles out in the small space of my pod as I hit the button to allow the call through. He flickers to life in the hologram, static-y as always, and I move the unit closer to the window as I peer at him.
“I hope you have some good news for me,” I say flatly, eyeing the display.
“I do, my friend!” He grins at me, that strangely thin-lipped smile that always makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, considering the sharpness of the teeth it displays. But he means well. I can’t help but wonder what the ladies think of that particular grin. Perhaps among his people, it’s an attractive quality?
“It’s your lucky day, Tycran, because my ship has a scanner equipped to do exactly what you needed. If it were a bigger area, eh, she might not have been able to handle it.” He shrugs. “But Oryn is a relatively small moon.”
I frown anxiously. “So you were able to see below the surface?”
Quiet your mind, I tell myself, but it’s never been so difficult. This moon feels as if it’s the key to undermining everything the Orkun have tried to do for so long. I might be overstating its importance, but I don’t think I am.
I don’t agree with Tordax and Malav.
It goes against all my training to even think that. But I realize, as I wait for Aran’s response, that I believe they’re wrong to wait. That this moon could mean the difference between winning the war or not, that it could save countless Kalixian lives—and the lives of so many others too.
I understand Tordax’s reluctance to put the lives of his warriors at risk on a gamble. And I understand Khrelan’s concern that if the military force is depleted, we might be too weak to fend off the attack that would surely follow. It makes sense.
But I also know that the Orkun have to be stopped. And it’s in this instant that I realize I’ve been forming a plan subconsciously all this time, since the moment Brele pointed out Oryn on the map. Khrelan is right. Tordax and Malav are right. We shouldn’t risk the lives of the entire Alpha Force on a dangerous, possibly suicidal mission to destroy Oryn.
We should only risk one.
A life that has been vowed to one cause since the moment the virus took hold… the utter destruction of the Orkun from the galaxy.
“Yes, my friend. I was able to scan the internal networks,” Aran says triumphantly, breaking through my thoughts. I realize my heart is racing in my chest, and I take deep breaths, trying to quiet it. But my adrenaline is up, and it’s hard not to reach for the hologram and shake it, just to make him explain faster what he’s found.
“I can send you over the scans,” he continues. “I was able to map the weapons development and storage areas. They also mine this moon for metal, so it’s a considerable materials resource. They seem to have a lot of their resources tied up there, so it’s well-guarded. They have a fairly large military contingent stationed there too.”
“Who are the workers?”
Aran shrugs. “From what I’ve heard of the Orkun, their labor force is primarily their own criminals and slaves from other systems.”
I grit my teeth. “Deshing animals.”
“That they are.” He scowls, then strokes his chin with one five-knuckled hand. “But on Oryn itself, I don’t believe they use off-worlders or slaves as workers. They probably feel that the moon is too valuable to allow any non-Orkun laborers access to it.”
“Good.” I nod thoughtfully. That will make this much easier. I won’t put innocent lives at risk, not even to take out my greatest enemy.
Aran arches an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you have planned, or why you want these scans. But if it’s something that will get that space trash out of the universe, I’m glad to be a small part of it. The Orkun are a scourge on us all.”
I lick my lips, which have gone dry. “Can you go ahead and send those scans over?” I pause, feeling my stomach knot. “Thank you, Aran. You may have made a big difference tonight.”
“You know me. Always happy to do what I can.” Aran grins. “I’ll send them through now. Stay safe, old friend.”
When the comms unit goes dead, I pick up my holo pad and log in. A second later, the incoming transmission from Aran appears on the screen, and I sit heavily on the edge of my bed, my pulse lodged in my throat.
Slowly, the maps load into the data pad. The scans are just pieces, hundreds of them, which will need to be assembled to show a complete picture of the moon. But as I study them, I see what I was hoping to find—the key to the plan I’ve been forming without even realizing it.
There’s a nuclear reactor beneath the surface, and it appears to power the entire massive operation. If that can be destroyed, the subsequent explosion would likely demolish the entire moon. The entire weapons base would be wiped out.
This will work better as a stealth mission, I reason.
One person might be abl
e to infiltrate the base and destroy it, but an entire military force would be a blatant act of aggression. If I fail, Khrelan can deny any knowledge of the attack.
I know that what I’m doing right now could already be considered treason. I’ve already stepped past the boundaries of what I’m supposed to do as an Alpha Force warrior. But I feel, deep within myself, in my core where my purpose lies, that this is the right thing to do. And if I succeed, I likely won’t be able to return to face punishment anyway.
Better to ask forgiveness than permission, I heard one of the Terran women say jokingly once, back on Wauru. At the time, I thought it a foolish thing to say, a reckless way to behave.
But now I understand it.
If I succeed, there won’t be a need to ask for forgiveness. And I will have fulfilled my purpose.
“I will have kept my vow,” I murmur to myself as I look at the maps. The Alpha Force will be here, ready to defend Kalix. I will go, and if all goes according to plan, I will ensure my people’s safety… for good. The Orkun will be decimated, their supplies, military tech, and engineers all gone.
It requires bravery, but I have that. It requires the willingness to sacrifice myself, and I have that too. The true conflict—the only conflict—is that this kind of disobedience goes against every bit of my warrior training, everything that has been drilled into me since I was a young boy… except for one part.
I will protect Kalix, and the people of Kalix, against all enemies. There is no sacrifice too great in the defense of our mother planet. If need be, I will water her with my own life’s blood. I am Kalixian. I am a warrior.
I am Alpha Force.
That was the vow I gave when I joined the elite squadron of Kalixian warriors. And I have been ready to honor it every moment of every day since then.
So this is how I will keep my vow. I’ll go behind my commander’s back, behind my king’s back, behind the backs of my fellow warriors, and disobey the direct order I was given today.
“I will go on my own,” I whisper into the air. My jaw clenches as I look out the window, my gaze fixed on Kalix’s own two moons as they rise high into the starlit sky. “And I will destroy the Orkun base.”
Alone.
7
Lucy
The day after the festival, I’m supposed to meet Emma and Jade at the palace, just to hang out.
We’ve all been spending more time together lately, and I like the feeling of having more friends, people that I’m close to. I was nervous about it at first, worried that they’d judge me when they learned more about what I did for work, or the kind of person I am. But they didn’t. They like me just as I am.
Jade seems to enjoy having another woman around who’s more bold like she is, and although Emma blushes every time we talk about sex, she’s also said she likes having someone to gossip with about those kinds of things, jokingly telling me that she learns something new every time we hang out.
When I arrive, they’re both in the indoor palace garden. Jade is perched on the edge of the fountain while Emma sits cross-legged on the flagstones, picking at a flower.
“Hey, Lucy!” Emma calls happily, waving me over. “I was just talking to Jade about how much fun the festival was last night. I even got her to dance, did you see? Your lessons are paying off.”
“I did.” I grin as I sit down on one of the benches across from them. I went back to the festival after following Tycran, but it was hard to get as much joy out of it as before. The cloud of our interaction hung over me for the rest of the night, and even today, I’m having a hard time shaking it.
“Did you see Tycran?” Jade waggles her eyebrows suggestively.
“Jade!” Emma exclaims. “You’re so nosy.”
The dark-haired woman shrugs. “It’s part of my charm. I thought I saw him in the crowd, but not for long.”
“Yeah, I did see him,” I admit, twisting my hands together in my lap. “He was… weird. We had a moment, or at least I thought we did. I was trying to get him to dance.”
Jade snorts, and Emma shoots her a pointed look.
“Anyway, he ran off after that, and I followed him,” I add. “We had another… moment, I guess, and then he left for good.”
“Did you talk at all?” Emma’s brows furrow as she looks at me.
“I… kind of yelled at him,” I admit sheepishly. “I said it feels like he hates me. Because it does! He’s so strange. He was so cold back on Wauru, and then there would be these moments where he would look at me like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. And he still does that now. Last night he… he grabbed my hips.”
“Sounds hot,” Jade says with a smirk.
“It was.” I bite my lip as the memory rushes through my mind. “It’s the closest he’s ever gotten to me. I swear, for a second, I thought he was going to kiss me. And then he just stalked off like I’d fucking burned him or something.”
“Well, what did he say when you yelled at him?” Emma presses.
“He said he doesn’t hate me.”
“That’s it?”
I nod. “Yup. That’s it. And then he left. I was going to leave before he said that, but he grabbed my wrist and stopped me. But that’s all he had to say.”
Both Jade and Emma are quiet for a long moment, and they both exchange a look that makes me lean forward in my seat.
“Well?” I look at them helplessly. “What the hell do I do? What is going on with him?”
“I’ve heard Khrelan say that he’s very dedicated,” Emma says slowly. “Very focused. He’s devoted to the Alpha Force.”
“Obsessively devoted,” Jade interjects with a frown. “Brele isn’t quite so delicate about it. He says Tycran is single-minded to a fault, almost. He took the vow that they all make very seriously, and he’s built his whole life around it. He doesn’t indulge at feasts, doesn’t drink, won’t touch a woman. He’s basically a warrior monk, according to Brele.”
“Wait.” My eyebrows shoot up as I lean forward even more. “Is he a virgin?”
She shrugs. “God, I hope not.” Emma shoots her a look, and she throws up her hands. “Sorry. I know you and Khrelan both were, and it worked out well for you guys. But that’s not my thing, honestly.” She grins as she glances over at me. “But hey, you know what you’re doing in the sack. Maybe teaching him the ropes could be fun. At the very least, he can’t have much experience. He wasn’t much older than Khrelan when he joined the Alpha Force. Maybe fifteen, I think Brele said?”
I bite my lower lip. It makes sense. Somehow it’s kind of hot, the idea of all the pent-up desire Tycran must have boiling just below the surface.
I can only imagine what it might be like if that dam were breached, and he let go of that iron control of his. I shiver a little just thinking about it, about how passionate he would be if he allowed himself to give in after years of denial.
“People used to think Khrelan was cold,” Emma points out. “He didn’t take it to the extreme that Tycran has, as far as denying himself any simple pleasures—he was a prince, after all. But he’s always been extremely disciplined, willing to sacrifice any of his own desires for the good of his people. And you know he avoided sleeping with a woman he wasn’t mate-bonded to. A lot of the men thought it was weird, even his own warriors. And his people thought he was detached.” She shrugs. “I thought that myself, when I first met him. I thought he was cold and unfeeling. He scared me, honestly. But then I got to know him, and I realized there was so much more beneath that.” She blushes. “And I’m sure you can imagine how he was in bed, after, well…”
“Never having sex?” Jade laughs. “Brele went fifteen years,” she says, shooting a look in my direction. “Let me tell you… that first time…”
“Oh god.” Emma puts her hands to her cheeks, blushing even harder. “But she’s not wrong,” she adds, turning to me. “Maybe Tycran just needs a little encouragement, needs to get to know you a little better. You know, so that he realizes you aren’t trying to take him away from h
is mission. You just want to help him loosen up a little.”
“He hasn’t, like, vowed to stay away from women, has he?” I look at them anxiously. “I don’t want to make him break a sacred vow or anything.”
“I don’t think so.” Jade purses her lips. “That’s not part of their thing anyway—as I’m sure you know from literally every other warrior. Tycran just takes his dedication to the extreme, I think.”
“Maybe you just need to get to know him better,” Emma encourages.
That’s it, I think, my mind churning as I consider it. I want to do what Emma did with Khrelan, except without all the permanent bonding stuff. I want to crack the stone around Tycran, see what’s beneath the surface.
Warrior monk is the perfect way to describe him. Jade hit the nail on the head with that one. What I want is to find the man underneath that. I want to figure out who he is. I know from the brief moments we’ve shared that there’s desire and passion somewhere deep within him. He’s just locked it away.
“We’ve both seen him looking at you,” Jade adds.
“Even back on Wauru.” Emma bites her lip. “He definitely has some interest. I just think there’s conflict there. He always looks away immediately, like he feels guilty. There’s probably a lot about him you just don’t know.”
“He’s a challenge.” Jade grins at me, humor dancing in her green eyes. “But challenges can be fun.”
“He’s going away though,” Emma says with a frown, and I feel my heart plummet.
“Away?” I try not to sound too upset. “Where? For how long?”
“I’m not sure where, exactly. Khrelan said he volunteered for a trading errand on a nearby planet. He’s leaving today, and I don’t know how long it will take. Khrelan was a little confused by it. Normally, that kind of task would’ve been assigned to someone of much lower rank. But he was pleased that Tycran showed so much devotion and willingness to do even grunt work. He’s obviously dedicated to the force and to his people.” She gives me a soft smile, tilting her head. “He’s a good man. Khrelan thinks highly of him.”