by Nikki Steele
“Don’t say it. Whatever you’re about to say, don’t say it.” It could only make this harder. It would only make me miss him more.
Last night... I’d always laughed at those spy movies where the femme fatale slept with a man and made him give away all his secrets. I hadn’t thought that could happen in real life. But last night—when I’d slept with Xander, when I’d looked in his eyes? I’d given away something too. My heart.
Xander wouldn’t know. Couldn’t know, not ever. It wasn’t his fault that I’d fallen for him. We’d both known the terms from the very beginning. This last month—we’d played a dangerous game, and it seemed I’d lost.
I was quiet during the limousine ride to the airport. I told Richards it was because I hadn’t slept well. But then, the best lies were always the ones built on truth.
* * *
We drove straight onto the tarmac, Xander’s wealth and status affording him a private runway. A Gulfstream stood waiting at one end, door already open.
I hadn’t cried. Not once this morning. Even though it was all my heart wanted to do. I wouldn’t cry. Not until he left. After that it wouldn’t matter when I stopped.
It was Richards who made the first move to say goodbye. He bent down to pat Baxter, who was sniffing the car’s wheels, then turned to me, taking off his cap. “Ma’am. It is with honesty that I can say my life is richer for having known you both. I will miss you greatly.”
I pulled him into a hug, overcome with emotion “Same here buster. And for the millionth time, it’s Kate, okay? Enough with the formalities.”
We parted, his eyes moist. “Thank you. Kate.” Then he turned, scooping Xander’s luggage to walk it quickly toward the plane.
I didn’t know why it was those words, of everything spoken today, which set me over the edge. All I knew was suddenly my chest couldn’t contain my heart anymore. The sadness, irrationally, had become too much.
I burst into tears.
Xander pulled me into his embrace, holding me as I cried in deep, heartfelt sobs. When I did pull away, I noticed a silent, glistening trail down Xander’s cheeks too.
He coughed, clearing his throat briskly. “I’m going to miss Baxter, you know,” he said, looking sideways at me, then bending down to ruffle the little dog on the head.
The pup looked up at him curiously, enjoying the scratch but concerned at the tears.
I sniffed, wiping my own away. “Is he the only one you’ll miss?”
“I might miss you too. Just a tiny bit,” Xander said, repeating my line from the picnic back at me. A sad smile crossed his features, and he stood up. “I feel like I’m losing my best friend, Kate.” He looked at me desperately. “I don’t know what to do.”
I seized his hands. “Don’t go. Please.” The words slipped out before I could stop them.
He tensed, genuinely considering the suggestion. But then he sighed. “I have to. Kate, the life of a prince—it must seem fabulous. But all those people that look at me forget one thing. It is a fabulous life, but it’s not my own. My heart can’t be either. My bride is a country, my children, its people. I have to return; else I’m no prince at all.”
I nodded. “I know. I’m sorry, I know you can’t stay. I’m just being silly.”
He pulled me into his embrace once more. “Not silly. Never that. You’re the bravest, smartest, kindest, most passionate woman I’ll ever know.” He shook his head. “I wish I didn’t have to get on this plane.”
I pressed myself to him. “I know.”
His voice was angry. “No, you don’t. Finally, I’ve found someone and they’re half a world away. If I could give up my crown, I would. If I could sneak away into the night at your side, I would. If I...” his hands clenched into fists. “It doesn’t matter what I think.”
He kissed me deeply. “Kate, I think I-”
I held my finger to his lips. “Don’t say it. Please. Just know that I feel the same way too.” I looked at him desperately. “Come back to visit someday?”
He nodded, and I turned my back before he could see the tears start again.
There was a pause. “Goodbye Kate.” Then I heard him begin to walk toward the plane.
Baxter sat down beside me, and began to howl.
Chapter Eight
So that was it. We’d had our last little fling. Now it was time for me to get over him, like he’d soon be over me.
The engine started, a high pitched whine that began to slowly climb. I didn’t turn around. I didn’t want to see him go. It would make it real somehow—as if without seeing it, he might not actually leave.
It was good that he was going, right? Good that I’d even had the small chance I’d been given? Good that we were leaving on friendly terms.
They weren’t the terms I wanted. Somewhere between that first kiss and our last, our relationship had changed. Every night we’d spent together had taken me further down a path I’d thought was terrifying, but which in fact was wonderful, and now just made me hollow.
My plan—of being friends, of long dog walks, of chaperoned dates in the park? That had only made it worse, propelling me head over heels faster than any bedroom trick could ever do. I’d grown to know the real Xander—discovering with pleasure how much joy his laughter brought me; how much more his company meant.
No. I’d been lying to myself—fooling myself, this last month. Somewhere between that first kiss and our last, I had changed. And I’d never be the same, ever again.
Baxter’s howl slowly changed to a growl. I looked down to see him backing away from me, lips curled, teeth bared. He was growling at me?
He barked, then ran forward, nipping my ankle. Ow! “Baxter, what’s wrong?”
He barked again, then looked from me, to the plane and back again. Xander had reached the bottom of the steps and paused. Baxter ran at me again, but this time I skipped out of the way; tears completely forgotten. “Baxter! What’s gotten into you?”
He started barking at me, yipping furiously, and then sprinted across the tarmac toward the plane. “Baxter!” I yelled futilely. I started after him at a run.
He reached the plane well before I did, zipping around Xander and up the stairs in a flash. At the top he turned, looking back at me, and began to bark once more.
I reached Xander moments later. “I’m so sorry.”
Xander was looking up at the dog, an expression of wonder on his face. “Don’t be.”
“I’ll just get the little mutt, then I’ll be out of your way.” I pushed past Xander.
His hand reached out suddenly, stopping me. “Don’t.”
“I’m sorry?” I said, turning.
“Don’t be out of my way.”
I looked to Baxter, who had stopped barking, then back to Xander. “I don’t understand,” I said, eyes confused.
His eyes were clear. “I do. Finally,” he said. “The moment I began walking to this plane, I knew something wasn’t right. But I couldn’t place it. I felt empty inside, like I’d suddenly lost half my soul. I felt like crying, and I didn’t know why.”
He looked to Baxter once more. “And then your dog started barking, and I looked back to see him racing toward me. And I saw you following him. And suddenly, right there and then, I knew.”
“What?” I asked. I still didn’t understand what he was talking about. All I knew was it felt good to be this close to him again, if only for a moment.
“If I walked up those stairs alone, only half my soul would come with me.” His eyes looked deep into mine. “You own the other half.”
I took a step back. He moved toward me once more. “I can’t get on that plane, not without you. I was a fool for not realizing it sooner.” He smiled softly. “Kate, I can’t stay here. I know I have no right to ask you this, but... will you come with me?”
My hand went to my mouth. “Xander, I-”
He seized me. “Say yes. Please. Say yes and we’ll work out all the details later.”
“But you said before I couldn’t come
. That things were complicated.”
“We’ll uncomplicate them.”
“I’ve got a job—I’ve got two jobs—and a house!”
“I’m a prince. I’ll write you a permission slip.”
“Well then what about... what about...” I was beginning to run out of protests. “What about Baxter? I can’t just leave him here!”
He shook his head. “I wouldn’t want you to. Bring him with you.” Xander took my hands in his, and kissed them. “I know this is sudden. But this last month... I’ve never felt this way before. Together, we’re greater than our individual parts. My life—with all its fabulous wealth and privilege—felt only half lived until I met you.”
He released my hands. “I hope you feel that way too. But I’ll understand if you don’t.” His hand grasped the staircase railing, then he kissed me and walked up the stairs.
If I left with Xander I’d be giving up everything. My jobs. My apartment. My life. And all for what? A chance that might not work out? A fling? A relationship only one month old.
Was I willing to do that?
Baxter barked at me, impatient, then turned and followed Xander onto the plane. A portal two windows down began to fog up. A wet nose pressed against the glass.
I nodded. Baxter was right. Everything important to me was already on that plane. It was time for me to join them.
# # #
This concludes Book 2. Click HERE for book 3, or get grab the BOX SET to complete Kate, Xander and Baxter’s Adventures.
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