by C. A. Harms
“They don’t know,” I confessed, again hearing how hoarse my voice sounded and the dryness tickling my throat. “About the baby. I haven’t told.” I took in a deep breath trying to fight the panic.
“What do you mean, they don’t know?”
Slowly I attempted to breathe, deep breath in, and release. I repeated this for what felt like several minutes but I was sure it was only seconds. “I haven’t shared the news yet.”
“Sweetheart.” I found her bedside manner refreshing and so comforting. She somehow in this madness made me feel so safe. “That’s how we found out.”
And gone was the comfort, and in its place nothing but fear.
Chapter Fourteen
Isaac
I stood back as the doctor approached Jay. I was far enough to allow them the space they needed but close enough to hear his words.
“Ms. Grady appears to have passed out and in the process collided with something hard. There is a hematoma above her right eye. There were no other signs of bodily injury, which rules out an attack or struggle. From what we can tell she may have hit her head on the vehicle near her. She most likely has a concussion. We are, however, going to run some tests to rule out anything unseen and give her some pain medication for any discomfort.”
“Is she awake?”
“Groggy,” he responded. “My colleague is with her now, starting her workup, but I wanted to give you an update to soothe your worries.”
Jay didn’t look any less worried than he had been minutes ago. The guy was a ball of unease. “When can I see her?”
“We’re taking her up for a CT Scan and we’d like to run a blood test. Do you know, does your sister have any medical history of fainting? Anything we should know about that may help us determine the cause?”
“She’s healthy,” Jay whispered as he looked at Ruby and then back to the doctor. “She’s always been healthy.”
“Okay.” The doctor reached out and offered Jay’s arm a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll figure it out.”
The doctor began to turn away when Ruby spoke, surprising us all. “Wait.” She worried her lip and cast her gaze to the floor. “There is something.” The way she twisted her hands in front of her even made me nervous. What was she hiding?
“Ruby?” Jay slouched enough to get in her line of sight. “What’s going on?”
“She was gonna tell you, I just think she needed time to accept it herself.”
“Tell me what?” I knew Jay had to be a wreck on the inside. Hell, I was all knotted up myself.
And then she said the one thing that made my legs give out beneath me and I had to reach out to gain some much needed stability.
“She’s pregnant.”
It had been what felt like forever since Ruby’s confession. The same confession that had stunned me into a state of shock.
Pregnant.
I noticed the way everyone was watching me. Morgan and Xavier, Eli and the twins, but Ruby looked at me almost sympathetically. I’m not sure if it was because I had to find out this way or because she understood just how much this was going to change my life and Jade’s.
Yet through it all there was honestly only one person on my mind, well two now, Jade and our child.
Even though Jay’s scowl toward me had returned, I didn’t care. He could fucking hate me at this point, his feelings no longer mattered. They couldn’t because no matter what I would be around whether he liked it or not.
When an older woman, no taller than five foot, walked out of the double doors and approached our crowd, we all stood as one. Jay, of course, stepped forward to indicate he was the one she should address. Part of me was pissed because Jade may not be my sister but that was my baby, our baby, and I had the right. But I gave him this, remaining close enough to hear clearly.
“Ms. Grady is awake, scared, and a little worried.” My heart rate sped up. “It would seem that some particular news has now been announced and that is giving her some unneeded anxiety.” I got what she was saying, loud and clear. Jade was worried about what we thought, how we would all react.
“We are going to keep her overnight for observation. She does have a concussion and the extent of her dehydration may be the core of why she passed out.”
“She’s been really sick lately,” Ruby added, gaining the attention of Jay and myself. My stomach tightened at the idea of her only having Ruby to confide in and it angered me, but in a way I understood. She didn’t know me, not really.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I noticed the irritation in Jay’s voice toward Ruby and I took a step forward, only to be stopped by Elijah as he placed his arm in front of me. This wasn’t the place.
“Well, because she trusted me to be there for her and probably because you haven’t honestly been that approachable lately. Doesn’t really make me want to run to you to share when all you can manage lately is to growl like an angry bear.” Go Rubes, always surprising us all. It would seem our little innocent was done taking shit from anyone. “If I’m being truthful, ever since the morning you found Jade stumbling out of Isaac’s room you’ve been intolerable.”
Jay’s nostrils were flaring but Ruby did not back down.
“You have all these feelings, and yeah, great for you, you’ve been hurt by what took place. But wake up, sunshine. This has nothing to do with you. Jade is her own person and you need to stop being such a diva about it all.”
Silence settled over the waiting room, each of us staring at sweet little Ruby who had seemed to snap. I know we were all equally amazed and blown away by her outburst. But part of me, a huge part, really was extremely thankful that she’d broke. She managed to say several things I’d been thinking for weeks.
The silence grew more awkward and it was the doctor who finally spoke. “It would seem that there are a lot of hurt feelings and unresolved issues, but this is not the time or place to handle any of them. Ms. Grady has been given something to help calm her—”
“Is that safe?” It was the first time I’d spoken and Jay turned his head toward me. I didn’t look at him but I could see him out of the corner of my eye. This was where I believed my rights came in to play. I was worried about the baby I’d just found out about and the woman carrying him or her.
“It is,” the doctor offered me a kind smile, “and you must be Isaac.” I was reminded that only moments ago Ruby made it very clear that Jade and I had shared a night together.
“I am.” I let out a slow breath and continued to stare ahead though I could practically feel the hole being burned into my side by Jay.
“We performed a sonogram to check on the baby, and everything seems exactly as it should be. But the anxiety and the stress is not good for Jade or for the child, and if any of you choose to go in and see her, I will ask that you leave any and all issues at the door. If that is something you cannot do, then I recommend that you leave until you can.”
Two strong women were in our presence, it seemed, who had absolutely no problem speaking their minds.
Chapter Fifteen
Jade
I lay curled on my side staring at the window. It was dark outside, but off in the distance there were two flashing lights. They were the perfect focal point, something to get lost in and help me calm my racing thoughts.
“Jade.” I heard the sounds of footsteps getting closer and I knew it was more than one person, which meant Ruby was not alone. The steps were far too heavy to be hers. “Are you awake?”
I was, but I wished I weren’t.
Slowly and cautiously I began to turn, and what I found was not what I expected. “Um, hi.” What the hell did they do, bring the entire fraternity?
Ruby was the first to move and I saw the redness in her eyes when she got close. Leaning over me, she wrapped her arms around me and hid her face in my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “So sorry, but I had to tell them. I had to.”
“I know.” Had it not been for the current situation I knew without a doubt that Ruby never woul
d have spoken a word until I told her she could. If I’d realized anything after spending time with her lately, I’d realized how loyal she was.
Everyone else stood back and allowed us our time and when she felt as though she could, she finally moved away. Only she didn’t go to Jay, instead she moved to the far side of the room, and I wondered what was going on there. Was he really mad at her for holding my secret?
Jay remained at a distance and I could see his struggle. I knew my brother well and I knew how he coped, as in most of the time he did not. He bottled things up, tucked them away, and with time, he hoped they’d disappear. It wasn’t healthy, but there was no way I was going to allow him to push away the one girl I believed was made just for him.
“Come here.” I motioned for him to move closer and he hesitated. His jaw ticked as I stared at him and slowly his resistance faded. “I didn’t know how to tell you.” Tears burned my eyes because even though right now I felt irritation toward him, I still loved my brother dearly. He was and would always be my best friend. “I know you don’t like it, but—”
“I don’t like it, but it’s not up to me to like it.” He sat on the edge of my bed and spoke low, I hope only I could hear him. “It’s my job to be here for you no matter what, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m upset you didn’t tell me, but I understand why you didn’t. It’s been brought to my attention recently that I’ve been a bit of a diva.”
I couldn’t help but laugh and I saw the shift of Ruby’s body weight from one foot to the other as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“I love that girl.” I smiled and for the first time in hours I felt a little less weighed down.
“Me too.” That didn’t come easy for us, it never had. Our circles were small, we liked them that way. Though mine seemed to be slightly smaller than Jay’s, I’d admit his people were growing on me fast. “I do think you need to fix the tension between you and her though. Ruby’s good for you.” Better than good. “She’s good for us both and she’ll make a kick ass auntie too.”
Jay shook his head and looked down at the bed beneath us.
“He better do the right thing, Jade.” Again his voice was low. “If he doesn’t, I don’t think I’ll be able to let that slide, brother or not.”
“I love you, Jay, but you have to let me battle this one out alone, at least for now.”
His gaze shifted to mine. “You know I can’t do that.” Again tears burned my eyes and I looked away from him, hoping I could hold them at bay. “I won’t push until I’m forced to.”
He leaned over, offered me a kiss to my forehead, and when he stood he gave me a smile. When he turned away, he moved toward Ruby and without a word spoken between them he bent down and tossed her over his shoulder. She squealed then hurried to cover her mouth just before they disappeared out into the hallway.
One by one each guy from my brother’s house stepped up and offered me a hug, telling me that they were glad I was okay. A few offered how they planned to be this kid’s favorite uncle, comments that made me smile and laugh.
Slowly the room cleared out until the only two left were Isaac and myself. He didn’t say anything right away, only sat on a chair near the end of my bed with his elbows resting on his knees. He watched me, and yes, it made me dance around a little with nervous energy. I wanted so badly to ask him what in the hell was rolling around in his mind, but honestly, I couldn’t form the words. I think I was afraid of any kind of rejection so the silence seemed better.
Then he stood and I held my breath as I gripped the sheet at my side.
“You were gonna tell me, right?” I nodded, because I would have one day, when hiding my growing belly became a problem.
Isaac sat on the edge of my bed, still watching me with an unreadable expression. Truth was I had no idea how to read him. Was he mad, sad, scared out of his mind?
“You do know that your brother wants to kill me even more than before?”
When he smiled I felt a little less stressed.
“Did you honestly think I’d walk away?” My stomach felt so tight with tension. “Do you think so little of me that you believe I’d leave you alone in this?”
“You don’t want this, I know that.” I tried to breathe through my fear. “You’ve made it very clear to anyone and everyone that you have no intention of any type of commitment. In fact, you’ve practically shouted it, so yes, I was worried about telling you, because I don’t want to be the one who ruins anything for you. You didn’t ask for this.”
“Neither did you,” he interrupted, and the shift in his tone was not hard to miss.
“But I want it now.” More than anything. “I don’t see this baby as a mistake or an accident. I see it as a blessing, and like I said, I know you don’t want this. I don’t want you to feel like you are being forced to—”
“I’m not that guy, Jade,” he interrupted and shifted closer so I could see him clearly. “I know you think you know me.”
“You’ve been pretty clear.”
“Okay, fine, I’m a slut, I’m an ass, but I’m not a fucking low-life.” I’d hit a nerve apparently. “I’m not gonna run off and leave you to take care of this on your own. We had a night, one night, and in that night we created a life. No, it wasn’t planned, but damn, it’s here now and I’m not fucking walking away to let you fend for yourself.”
“I don’t need your help, I can do this.”
I was tired of people feeling as if they had to take care of me without really wanting to. I was ready to stand alone, to finally take care of me and of this baby. I was embracing my future and for once feeling like I had something, or in this case, someone who needed me for a change.
“You may not need it, but you are sure as hell gonna get it.” Isaac leaned in closer and I found myself attempting to lean back, only I had nowhere to go, the pillow and bed beneath gave me no escape. “You may as well face it, darlin’, you’re stuck with me now.”
Chapter Sixteen
Isaac
I sat on the edge of my bed and held the sonogram picture in my hand. I was still amazed by the fact the little blob in the center was my kid. Nine weeks, that’s how far along they told Jade she was. Which by all the medical calculations put our night together smack dab in the middle of her projected conception time.
I still hadn’t told my parents. I was still trying to come to terms with it myself. I had got mixed emotions, fear and joy entangled, making this all so fucking confusing. But none of it mattered because I meant what I said, I was in this.
I knew with my record of college hookups that I could have been in this situation a dozen times because condoms break, you could never be too careful, and all that shit. Truth was I’d been one lucky bastard over the years and even luckier that Jade was the one this happened with. She was amazing, and I knew without a doubt that no matter what happens between us, she and I could raise a kid together and not want to kill each other on a daily basis.
Jade was sassy, and fun, but she’s also snippy and proud. She was also beautiful and smarter than she gave herself credit for, so in a big way I won. I got her as the mother of my child, and our child would gain all those amazing qualities she possessed. She was also timid, and I knew due to her past she questioned herself far too often, but one day she’d come to accept that she was so much more than she’d even given herself credit for. I planned on helping her see that one way or another.
“So, a kid.” I looked up just as Clay stepped into my room holding Ethan in his arms. The little guy was holding a stuffed dinosaur in one hand and a sucker in the other. “How you feeling about that?”
“Scared as fu—” I stopped myself, remembering that I was in the presence of a child. “I thought I’d be older, finished with school, starting my business. I hoped that I’d have several years beneath me and a hell of a lot more stability.”
“All bullshit aside, Isaac, you put on a good show.” I looked away from the picture as Clayton took a seat beside me and shifted the boy on his
lap. “But that’s expected. We all come to college to gain an education, yeah, but we also come to gain experiences. Joining this fraternity has been one of the greatest things I’ve done. It led me to Em, and this guy.” He held the little dude a little tighter, not caring about the sticky fingers or face. So you didn’t plan it, but you got this. You’ve had fun, you’ve had a lot of fun.” I arched my brow as if to say, really? Do we honestly have to bring that to a head again, I know this. “But you’ve also led, you’ve been the voice of reason when we all needed it most. The choices you make now are what matters, not what you’ve been the last four years. So what do you want?”
I looked from Clayton, to Ethan, then shifted my gaze to the image in my hand. Was I ready? Could I be the man both Jade and this baby deserved?
“I want to be there for both of them, there’s no way I want to miss out.”
“Then you have your answer, and the rest, it’ll all work out.” Clayton had changed. Yes, he was the same crazy bastard who didn’t let the chance to gain some leverage when it presented itself go by, but he was different.
***
I stood outside of Jade’s apartment door and pushed down the nervous energy I felt. I knew already that she wasn’t alone, I’d parked right next to Jay’s truck. I also knew there would be no warm, fuzzy welcome when he found me on the opposite side of the door, but I wasn’t here for him. I was here for her.
I gnawed on my thumbnail, holding in my opposite hand a small bag with homemade chicken soup inside. I’d stopped at the deli and got the biggest bowl they had and even some crackers. The internet said saltines helped. Yes, I had resorted to googling fucking shit related to pregnancy and morning sickness. I’ll admit it, I had no fucking clue. Some of what I had found was scary.