by C. A. Harms
I had never felt this out of control before. She’d been hurt, not just today but for years and years in her past. Her mother, father, and every fucking man she allowed into her life. It was infuriating.
Lifting my head, I found her watching me and I couldn’t look away. “I love you.” The words were out of me in a harsh whisper. I never meant for them to sound that way, but fuck I couldn’t regain my cool. “I. Love. You.”
Jade’s eyes filled with tears but she said nothing.
“You are perfect,” I continued, this time much less aggressive. “I don’t remember what it felt like to not have you in my arms, but I know that I never want to know that feeling. I want you, I want my son, and I swear to you that if anyone ever thinks of hurting either of you, I will destroy them.”
I was sure she’d heard some line of this shit before, but the difference between them and me was that I meant every word. I wasn’t the kind of guy who told a girl shit to get with them. I’ve never been that guy. I’d always been honest and straight forward, and now more than anything, I meant every word I spoke.
“I had a plan,” I stated, still looking directly at her. “I was going to start a career, be established, and grounded before a family. I didn’t want anything holding me back.” She flinched and I gripped her tighter, holding her close to me.
“But what I’ve realized is that you and our son aren’t obstacles holding me back from my dreams and goals. The two of you are exactly what I needed to push me harder to become the man and the father you both deserve. Life isn’t about possessions. What I’ve realized more than anything is that none of that means anything at all if I don’t have someone, or two someones to share them with. That’s you, babe. I want to give you everything. I can’t think of a better life than sharing this one with you.”
Tears streamed down her cheek and I knew it was because my words penetrated that darkness that still loomed inside of my sweet girl.
“Every day, every laugh, every smile, even when you give me shit, I manage to fall a little harder. I know deep down you’re thinking that I’m only saying these things because you’re carrying my son. That’s what you do, always battling those voices in your head, but you should tell them that it’s time to shut the fuck up.” She tried to hide her smile and I couldn’t help but smile in return as I reached out and cupped the uninjured side of her face. “Nothing I am saying to you is a lie. This may have started because of a pregnancy, but at this point I know that eventually I would have fallen for you anyway. That morning when you turned around to face me and I saw that the girl that’d just spent the night in my bed was you, it was the first time in my life that I wanted to drag someone back to bed and hold them.”
Pressing my lips to hers, I felt her tremble beneath mine.
“Just let me love you.” I knew there would be struggles, but I was willing to fight her demons. “I promise with me you will always be safe.”
***
I stood in the weight room at the fraternity, my knuckles bleeding, but I didn’t care. The burn felt good.
One blow after another, sweat poured down my face, the adrenaline pumped through me uncontrollably.
I was okay when I was with Jade. After we talked, we’d fallen asleep together on the couch, me holding her in my arms. There was a calm that settled over me knowing she was safe and protected.
But leaving her apartment this morning, it hit me all over again. The bruise on her face, the fact that this was not the first bruise she’d ever had at the hands of another. The face of her ex, the horrible way he’d treated her, and visions of her curled into a ball in a corner of some dirty lobby after he’d kicked her out. All of it came crashing down.
Very rarely had I ever skipped class, but I knew had I attempted it I would have ignited. So instead I came straight home and for hours I’d been trying to rein in this anger.
“Jade called.” I looked back over my shoulder to see Jay standing in the doorway leaning against the opening. “Told me to check on ya.”
I redirected my attention to the bag and threw a few more punches. “I’m good.” I was far from good, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk.
“Bloody hands, anger that can be felt from across the room, yep, I’d say you are feeling like a million bucks.” I ignored his sarcastic words. “Do you know how many times I’d have to force myself not to show up at that guy’s place and kill him?”
“Not now, Jay.” I couldn’t rehash this shit, I was trying to tame the fucking beast, not feed him.
“She doesn’t need this shit, Isaac.”
“You don’t think I fucking know that?” I was a tamed guy, I’d always been. But right now I didn’t feel like myself. “I want to fucking kill him, every person that has ever hurt her, I want to make them pay. That includes your father. This isn’t healthy, it’s fucking dangerous. So right now I need to stand right here and beat this damn bag in an attempt to eliminate some of this anger. I don’t need to hear what she doesn’t need because I’m the one who held her all fucking night, I’m the one who wiped away her tears when she told me all the times she’d been hurt. That was me, Jay, so like I said, I don’t need you lecturing me.”
I swung one, two, three times and the bag swayed and the chains creaked. Again, and again, the blood on my hands smeared on the back. My eyes burned, and my body shook. My chest grew tight and breathing became a little more difficult. A shudder raked through me. My body grew weaker, but I continued to swing.
I didn’t notice anyone behind me. I didn’t know that Jay was no longer alone until two sets of arms wrapped around me and held me so fucking tight. Jay stepped before me, staring me in the eyes, Xavier and Elijah holding me in place. I fought it at first until I let my emotions get the best of me and my body gave in to the overwhelming defeat.
“She needs you.” Jay said the words with purpose. “You’ve got to hold it together. She fucking loves you and she may be scared to say it, but I see it. You have to be the foundation, man. She needs stability, she needs someone by her side who is strong.”
I nodded because I couldn’t speak, not now, not yet.
“I’m trusting you with her.” Jay gave me a hard, stern look. “Don’t make me regret that.”
I knew his words were hard for him to say. Next to Ruby, his sister was his world. They were close, he’d spent his life protecting her, and now he was passing the reins off to me. That meant the world.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jade
I’d spent the last two nights alone in bed. I realized that I didn’t like that feeling. I’d gotten used to Isaac’s hand on my hip, or even resting upon my stomach in the middle of the night. The comfort of knowing he was there as he held me close, kissing my forehead. He made me feel safe.
I knew he was dealing with things. I knew he felt like he needed to keep his distance while doing so, but I decided that wasn’t for me. I woke up just after midnight and instinctively I’d reached out for him, only to find the space beside me empty. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was pointless. My mind wouldn’t stop.
So here I was, climbing the front steps, waiting for Ruby to open the front door after I’d texted her telling her I was here. I wore Isaac’s sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. It was my choice of clothing lately, I’d finally reached the point where I could no longer wear my jeans and shorts.
I looked around the front yard, just about to text Ruby once more when I heard the lock click on the front door. Only it wasn’t Ruby, but my brother who opened the door. I half expected him to lecture me about being out late at night alone, but instead he stepped aside and allowed me to enter.
“Sleeping Beauty isn’t in a good mood.” Smiling, I walked into the living room and found a few guys sleeping in the chairs and on the couch. The television was on, but barely any sounds playing. “Please tell me you’re here to snap his sorry ass out of this funk.”
“Truth?”
He nodded his head and crossed his arms over his chest.
&
nbsp; “I miss him.” Just saying the words sent my emotional pregnant ass into a fit of tears and Jay reached out to pull me in for a hug. “I don’t like the fact that I’m dependent on another guy, chasing that happiness once again. But he’s the only one I’ve ever met who makes me feel it. He’s the only one that doesn’t make me question my every move. I know he’s dealing with some stuff, his head’s a mess but—” I paused and pulled out of my brother’s embrace. “I just needed him.”
“I think he needs you too, he’s just being too damned stubborn to face it.”
I’d allowed myself to wonder over the last couple days if he was having seconds thoughts, but then I was reminded of all the sweet words he spoke and I knew it to not be true.
I paused outside of Isaac’s bedroom door and held the handle firmly, taking in a calming breath. My heart raced. Slowly I twisted it and pushed it open. The light from the hallway filled his room and when I saw the covers shift, I held my breath. I couldn’t see his face, but it was almost like I could feel his eyes on me.
“Did I wake you?”
“No.” Suddenly he sat up in his bed and his face was clearly seen. “I can’t sleep very well without you.” Again my damn emotions got the best of me and I was stepping inside, closing the door behind me.
Reaching the bed, I sat at his side, and when his thumb glided over my jaw before he cupped my face, I leaned into his touch.
“Everything okay?”
I nodded, nothing about what I was feeling was okay. I wanted him, I needed him, more than I’d ever needed or wanted anyone before.
“Tell me.” His whisper was hoarse.
“I miss you.” Closing my eyes, I fought off the tears. Then I felt his lips press to mine and I climbed closer, not once breaking our kiss. Isaac accepted me, allowed me to straddle his lap, held my hips in his hands. With him I didn’t feel like I was a frumpy pregnant girl. I felt beautiful.
“Missed you too,” he assured me. “But I had to work through all that anger.”
“Are you done now?”
He chuckled and a warm feeling made the ache inside me fade. I loved his laughter. “I’m done, baby,” he replied, cupping my ass and pulling me in a little closer. I could feel him thickening beneath me and I couldn’t stop myself from shifting against him. “How ’bout you show me how much you missed me.”
I didn’t need to wait for any more of an invitation. I gave him exactly that.
***
A tickling sensation ran over me from the skim of Isaac’s finger along my spine. Curled on my side, he lay behind me, and over and over traced the contour of my back, then over to my hip.
I tried not to react, because in reality it felt so good. But I was ticklish, extremely ticklish.
“My parents get here this afternoon.” This excited me and scared me too. I’d talked to his mother so many times, but never met them in person. What if she took one look at me and decided I wasn’t what she thought?
“They’re staying in the hotel until they get the keys to the condo on Friday.” He continued to barely run his finger over my back while talking. Frankly, I could barely focus on his words. “They want us to meet them in the restaurant of the hotel tonight at five for dinner.”
“M’kay.” It was slowly turning me on how he would graze over the side of my breast and then gently beneath it before pulling back. The cover had fallen, exposing my hard nipples, and I moved my thighs together, trying to tame my immediate need.
He’d noticed, there was no doubt about it when he moved in closer and I felt how hard he was as it pressed against my ass.
With a shift of his hips he pushed into the gap between my legs and kissed along the side of my neck. “We have some alone time before my parents invade our life.” I smiled, his mother was a little over the top, but I’d grown quite fond of her. I got what he was saying though, it would be so much different once they arrived. “I can think of a few ways I’d like to spend the next few hours.”
“Yes,” I moaned, and I felt him smile against my cheek. “That, let’s do that.”
“But I never told you what I was thinking.”
“I can feel it.” I pushed back against him and wiggled enough to apply just the right amount of pressure. “And I really like what I feel.”
“Like?”
“Love,” I corrected, “almost as much as I love you.” I’d never said it, but I’d wanted to, so many times. Each time he’d whisper that he loved me when he thought I’d been asleep, or when saying goodbye on the phone. I was tired of letting my fears get the best of me.”
“So you’re finally going to let me love you?”
Looking back over my shoulder, I found him watching me, a satisfied grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Yeah, and I’m gonna love you back.”
“Jesus, woman, it’s about damn time.” His lips covered my own and I decided it was time for me to let go of all the hurt from my past. I didn’t want it clouding my judgment, and I definitely didn’t want to allow it to take anything away from my time with Isaac. This was my chance, and I didn’t want to miss a second of it.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Isaac
Stretching out, I attempted to lift my hands above my head, but couldn’t get them past my shoulders. The covers were tight, binding me in one set position. I tried to move my legs, and again I was met with resistance.
The room was darkened, the blackout curtains covering my window. But I could see the light from outside trying to peek through on the edges. My door was shut, and I heard absolutely nothing outside or inside. It was almost like these fuckers glued me to my bed and left me to rot.
“Hello,” I called out, knowing that if anyone was anywhere near they were laughing at the urgency in my voice.
Damn it, I had to piss.
On instinct, once again I tried to move and nothing .
Knowing that I could try and try and get nowhere, I took the time to look around and survey the damage.
It was like I was looking at one of those chalk outlined things on the ground. The ones where they map out the scene of a body for reference. Only inside of the chalk it was as if someone had literally sewed around my body using the sheets to pin me in. The fitted sheet had been untucked from the mattress and that with the flat sheet on top of me they’d traced around me from one side to the other. I was a human fucking burrito. Hell, they’d even stitched all the way to each side of my neck.
It was genius, but truth was I would have enjoyed it a hell of a lot more had it been done to someone else. Like Corbin, for instance, or Elijah. But the Hulk would rip out of the contraption, no problem.
I really had to piss.
“Hey assholes,” I hollered again and looked over to find my phone laying on top of the nightstand. Essentially I was trapped. Lifting my hand, I tried to push against the barrier and it only managed to pull the sheet tighter to my opposite side. “Hello, I know you’re all out there waiting for the outcome. Here it is, bitches, now get me out of this.”
Still nothing, not even a snicker.
Surely they wouldn’t do this and then leave.
Holy hell, my bladder was going to bust.
Looking down, I could see the contour of my junk and there was no hiding it. Mentally, I attempted to talk myself down but knew without a doubt until I pissed that devil was sticking around.
“Isaac?” I froze, no way. “Honey, are you home?” No no no!
For the first time since I woke up I didn’t want to be found.
My door handle rattled, I closed my eyes tightly, and held my breath. Go away, go away. Mentally I once again attempted to tame my hard on.
And then it happened. The door came open, the light came on, and there in the doorway stood my mother, a blank look on her face as she scanned over me from head to toe. Again I closed my eyes tightly. The last thing I wanted to witness was the moment my mother noticed…oh damn it.
“I, uh…” She stumbled over her words. My mother never
stumbled. “I was just…” Again another pause and I was mortified. “I should…” Then I was met with silence, well, except for the clicking of the door.
Peeking through squinted eyes, too scared I’d once again be met with my dumbfounded mother’s expression, I found myself once again alone. She left me. She just closed the door and left.
Then I heard her voice outside the door.
“He’s trapped,” she whisper yelled. “I mean trapped. It looks like he’s sewn inside his sheets.” I lay in my room, staring up at the ceiling, wishing the bed would just open up and swallow me whole.
Animals, I live in a house with a bunch of damn animals. Menaces, I swear.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Still my mother carries on outside the room, I assume on her phone. “Walter, I cannot do that, you need to come over here.”
Yep, she called my father. Why not just call the entire family?
“Because it’s a white sheet.” I looked down and it dawned on me what she meant. Oh fuck my life, white sheets, naked son. I’m gonna kill whoever did this, kill them all slowly. “Walter, please, I think he’s nude.”
Yep, they are dead! Every last one of them. Dead!
***
I stood in the living room with my hands on my hips, wondering which one I’d murder first. Every member of the fraternity, even their women, were watching the footage I wasn’t surprised to find out they had. A nanny cam, tucked in the corner of my room, picked up every part of my human burrito moment. From the second my eyes opened until the humiliating moment when my father cut me out of my sheets with a pair of scissors. All while my mother covered her eyes with her back to us.
My father said nothing, only laughed so hard he had tears rolling down his cheeks. A few times he even paused to gain his composure. I feared losing a finger, or hell, my dick. I’d never seen my father laugh so hard.