High-Caliber Concealer

by Bethany Maines

  “Possibly,” said Ellen, leaning forward against the car seat to make conversation. “But I think they may also have been a little glad. I overheard Martina tell George that I wasn’t a very relaxing grandmother, and that she remembered me being a lot less strenuous when she was a child.”

  “That’s a terrible thing to say,” said Nell, her eyes widening. “What did you do?”

  “Oh, nothing. There wasn’t anything to do really, and besides it’s true. I was about fifty pounds heavier when they were young. I feel bad actually. I was the mom who would buy a tub of icing and a bag of cookies and make ‘homemade’ Oreos. How any of us made it out of their formative years without diabetes is a miracle. It wasn’t until my husband died that I took up exercise. But as a result, the girls are a bit soft and I think they find me rather tiring. The grandkids love me though, and really, sowing generational discord is what brings joy to a grandparent’s heart.”

  “That sounds like something my mother would agree with,” said Nell, glancing at Nikki. Nikki, who was concentrating on making a turn, couldn’t tell if Nell’s expression was angry or guilty.

  “Probably,” agreed Nikki. “Although, if I ever have kids, I expect you’ll do the same thing. Probably with more bribery though.”

  “What do you mean if?” demanded Nell. “There better be grandkids in my future. Are things not going well with Z’ev? Where is he, by the way? When do I get to meet him?”

  “Things are fine with Z’ev. He’s on assignment. And never if I can help it.”

  “Your jokes aren’t funny,” said Nell. “What was that, Jenny?”

  The conversation in the back of the car was already moving off of Z’ev and onto a local news story they’d seen at the airport.

  “Hey mom, can you call Grandma and tell her we’re bringing the girls with us?”

  “I already did while we were waiting for you,” said Nell. “You really ought to make more of an effort to be on time, Nikki. Otherwise people will think you’re rude.”

  Nikki ignored the comment, since on the scale of annoying things her mother was going to say today, sliding in one about being late was barely going to tip the meter.

  The rest of the drive was peppered by observations of the countryside, embarrassing childhood stories, and a circular discussion over whether or not bartenders expected their patrons to actually eat the fruit in drinks. Nikki pulled to a stop in front of the house and breathed a sigh of relief. Peg came out to the car and welcomed everyone, except Nikki.

  “Sorry, sweetie, but with this many people I need you to pop back to town and pick up a few more items for dinner.”

  “Jane wants to see the clothes from the attic. Jenny will want to go swimming in the pond. And Ellen will be happy to help with dinner as long as it’s not baking,” said Nikki, taking the grocery list with a sigh.

  “Easiest house guests ever then,” said Peg.

  Nikki waved and got back in the car. An hour later, she finished loading the groceries in the car and slammed the back hatch, ready to finally be done with the day, when her phone rang. It was an unfamiliar number with a 360 area code and Nikki picked it up with a frown.

  “Hello?”

  “Babe? Awesome. I was afraid you wouldn’t pick up.”

  “Z’ev?” Her heart rate went up and she couldn’t keep the little squeal of excitement from her voice. “Are you back in the States?”

  “Yeah. Actually,” he paused to clear his throat and Nikki was instantly suspicious. “I checked my messages on the flight back over and I heard that you were going to be in Washington State.”

  “Yes?” Nikki couldn’t figure out where this was going.

  “Well, I was hitching a ride with the DEA and they had a flight that was already going to Washington. So I rented a car in Spokane and drove up. I’m in a motel near this weird little bar called the Kessel Run. Uh, I hope that’s OK.”

  “I’m not going back into the grocery store. It depresses me.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Forget it. I just have to call Grandma and make sure we can add another for dinner without me driving all the way back into town.”

  “Another?”

  “My grandma called my mom and made her fly out. And apparently the girls weren’t enjoying their vacations, so they decided to come crash mine.”

  Z’ev snorted in laughter.

  “So there’s a house full of people and Grandma made me drive back to the grocery store and I’m starting to really hate the grocery store. Let me call her and make sure we don’t need to go back in and then I’ll come get you.”

  “This is cool. I’m excited to meet your family.”

  “Yeah, you won’t be as excited after you meet them.”

  “Stop being so down on your mom.”

  “Stop being so positive about my mom,” snapped Nikki.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to like your mom without permission.”

  Nikki laughed and climbed in the car. “She drives me so crazy. I was in the car with her for an hour and a half and I already want to kill her. It’s like she just looks for ways to undermine me.”

  “It’s good the girls are there then. They’ll keep you from stabbing her in the eye.”

  “I hope so. I’m glad you’re here too. I really want to see you. Although, now that I’m thinking of it, there might not be any room for you at the house.”

  “I can’t stay in your room?”

  “Umm… no? I’m fairly certain Grandma would shit a brick rather than let unmarried people stay in the same room together.”

  “She does know we live together, right?”

  “Yes, but that happens in another state. And the reality that exists in the State of California doesn’t apply to the rest of the world. Also, you’d be a bit difficult to wedge in with all the clothes.”

  “I’m not even going to inquire about the last statement.”

  “Probably just as well. Give me about twenty minutes and I’ll meet you at the hotel.”

  “I’m over at the bar actually. I bumped into your friend Donny Fernandez.”

  “Don’t let him get you into trouble,” said Nikki.

  “You’re going to be here in twenty minutes right? How much trouble can he get me into in twenty minutes?”

  “You’d be surprised. Love you.”

  “Love you, too,” he said.

  August XIII

  Hot Dice

  Peg had been about as happy to have Z’ev visit as Nikki had expected. She could hear Nell jumping up and down in the background. But Peg had only said, “Hmm, sure, I guess.”

  Nikki pulled up at the Kessel Run and spotted Z’ev’s rental car, a green four-door Camry, the world’s most boring car. Clyde was behind the bar again. This time the place was busier and the Harrison Ford cut-out had been pushed up against the wall. Clyde was navigating the room with a tray full of food held high.

  “Hey, Nikki,” said Clyde, with a brief nod as he edged past her.

  “Hey.” She scanned the room looking for Z’ev.

  “If you’re looking for that big guy,” Clyde said, coming back the other way, tray empty. “I think he went out back with Donny Fernandez.”

  “Thanks,” said Nikki, walking further into the bar, past the restrooms and the open door to the sweltering kitchen. She could hear the sounds of men’s voices, but couldn’t tell if they were excited or angry. Nikki quickened her pace, the stiff cotton of her sundress making swishing noises against her skin, and pushed through the swinging wooden screen door out onto the back porch.

  They were all off the porch, some kneeling, some standing over a flat spot in the grass. Most were Mexican and they all spoke Spanish. Nikki spotted Donny, and recognized Carlos and Rey-Rey Vallejo. Z’ev was kneeling and there was a substantial pile of money on the ground. They were shooting craps and Nikki watched this entirely masculine form of entertainment with interest. Girls, as a group, just didn’t go out back to shoot dice.

  Nikki wound one arm around
a porch post and leaned against it, pausing to admire Z’ev. He’d been someplace sunny. He was tanner than when he’d left LA. He was strutting a ghetto look in a white tank-top and jeans, too. His watch wasn’t gold, but it did have the heavy expensive look that was required for any truly macho guy. To really pull it off, he should have had more jewelry, but Nikki knew that he didn’t ever wear any. He probably wouldn’t have worn the watch either, except that it was company issue. But it was his attitude that was putting the act over and Nikki could see that in the circle of men there wasn’t a single person who doubted Z’ev’s street cred. He really was good at this sort of thing.

  It was Donny who acknowledged her first, although she wouldn’t have bet that Z’ev didn’t know she was there.

  “Hola, Nikki,” said Donny with a head jerk and a smile.

  “Hola. I thought you liked me. Are you trying to get my boyfriend in trouble?” Nikki replied.

  “Trouble? What trouble?” asked Donny spreading his hands upward in a too-innocent shrug.

  “Aw, come on, baby,” said Z’ev. “You worry too much.” They held eye contact for a moment and Nikki found herself short of breath. He really had been away too long.

  Nikki readjusted her position, leaning her elbows on the porch railing which she knew displayed her cleavage to an advantage.

  “You’d better watch yourself,” she replied. “I went to school with some of these guys and they’ll take your lunch money faster than spit.” She nodded toward Carlos and Rey-Rey. Z’ev gave them a questioning look and they both nodded unrepentantly.

  “Well, you’d better give me some luck then,” he said falling back and walking over to the porch. “Blow on my dice.”

  “Blow on your own dice,” she replied tartly. That got a laugh and some comments from the other gamblers.

  “You just don’t like it when I gamble.” He was whining for the audience.

  “No,” corrected Nikki. “I just don’t like it when you lose.”

  “Well, if you don’t give me any luck, what do you expect? Come on. You know you want to.”

  He held out his palm and rattled the purple dice around with clicking sound. Nikki didn’t move, but her eyes twinkled.

  “No? Well, OK.”

  He started to pull the dice away and Nikki’s hand shot out, grabbing his wrist. Not taking her eyes off his face, she brought his hand to just below her mouth and blew gently over the dice. There was a silence from the men. No one thought that was funny. Z’ev grinned his all too charming smile that still made Nikki’s stomach do back-flips, and knelt down. There was a flurry of betting. Z’ev took one more glance up at her and winked. Then he threw the dice.

  The clear, purple cubes bounced across the money, reflecting sunlight from the golden rays of the setting sun. One rolled gently to a stop showing five dots. The other ricocheted off a shoe and spun to a halt, clearly displaying two small white dots. There was a groan from the men who had bet against Z’ev. Z’ev held his hands up and looked around triumphantly and began to gather up his winnings.

  “Te amo,” he said kissing his fingertips at Nikki.

  “Oh, te amo, te amo,” Nikki repeated mockingly. “Now that he wins the money.”

  The crowd laughed.

  “Well, baby,” said Z’ev plaintively and paused. They all turned to look at him, standing there in his muscles and money. “Of course.”

  Nikki laughed, she couldn’t help it, and that set the men off too. Z’ev grinned and folded his money over into a wad.

  “Another round?” someone suggested, but Z’ev shook his head.

  “Sorry, I got better things to do.”

  “Yeah, like Nikki.”

  “Funny Rey-Rey, real funny,” said Nikki. Donny smacked the back of Rey-Rey’s head.

  “What?” asked Rey-Rey.

  The game began to break up, men disappearing back into the bar or out to their trucks. They all shook Z’ev’s hand or gave him the shoulder-to-shoulder bump that was what Nikki mentally referred to as a man hug. Donny shook hands with Z’ev and waved to Nikki.

  “Buenas noches, Donny.”

  “Buenas noches,” Donny called back and headed toward the front parking lot.

  “You really went to school with those hoodlums?” asked Z’ev when they were alone.

  Nikki nodded as Z’ev walked the short distance to the porch rail where Nikki still leaned on her elbows. He traced one finger along her collarbone and then down across the top of her breast.

  “Kindergarten through fifth grade.” She lowered her head and leaned down to kiss him. “We should go. They can’t make dinner without us,” she said, after a moment.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, kissing her again. “The hotel is right over there.”

  Nikki giggled, tempted. “Wait, no,” she said pushing away. “Mom will totally know and that kills my mood.”

  He nodded. “Fine. I just need to run over to the hotel and grab my shirt.”

  “That’s not yours?” asked Nikki pointing to a blue and white checked shirt on the railing. Z’ev shook his head.

  “Not mine. Someone must have forgotten it.”

  “I’ll bring it in to Clyde. The bartender,” she added, when he frowned in puzzlement.

  “I’ll meet you back here in two minutes,” he said, checking his watch and then stealing another kiss before he jogged around the corner toward the hotel across the street.

  Nikki picked up the shirt and shook it out, folding it over her arm. The screen door slammed behind her and Kristine walked out onto the porch.

  “Well, look whose gone washer-woman,” drawled Kristine, slightly drunk. “Give me a minute and I’ll give you my panties.” She laughed loudly at her own joke.

  Nikki said nothing.

  “Geez Nikki, it’s bad enough that you speak the language, but you really have gone native. You’re even dating one of them—” Just as when she’d grabbed Z’ev’s wrist, Nikki’s arm shot out, but this time her hand clamped around Kristine’s jaw. Kristine made a slight ‘urk’ sound and sloshed some of her beer.

  “I just know that you’re about to say spic or nigger or something else that I don’t want to hear,” said Nikki in a conversational tone. “You have a problem with me. I don’t know why, but I don’t really care why either. I can deal with it. But I will not tolerate insults to my friends.” She gave Kristine’s head a little shake. The sound of her teeth clicking together was audible on the empty porch. “So consider this your warning. There won’t be another one. Now, I’m going to let go and you can say whatever it is you want to say and we’ll go from there. We clear?” Nikki stared into Kristine’s saucer-sized eyes and knew she ought to feel bad about this.

  She let go and Kristine took a stumbling step backwards eyes fixed on Nikki.

  “Got something to say?” asked Nikki, and her tone sounded hard even to her own ears.

  Kristine shook her head back and forth.

  “Then get back inside.” She pointed to the door and Kristine did as she was told, tripping a little over own feet.

  “She’ll hate you for that.”

  Nikki turned her head and saw Donny at the foot of the porch stairs.

  “Forgot my shirt,” he said pointing to Nikki’s arm. He walked around to the railing side and Nikki handed the shirt to him.

  “She already hated me,” she said as he pulled it on. “I don’t know why.”

  “Jealousy,” said Donny, buttoning his shirt.

  “Jealous? Of what?”

  “A glamorous job, glamorous boyfriend, in a glamorous town. You got out of Kaniksu Falls and she never did. Grass is always greener, and all that stuff.” He put the last button through the proper buttonhole.

  “OK, sure, I guess. But I don’t know why she thinks that means it’s all right to say such racist crap.”

  “You used to be shy,” said Donny. “She probably thought she could get away with it. Trouble with you now is that you sneak up on people.”

  Donny leaned against
the rail and Nikki backed up a step or two so she could see his face clearly.

  “What do you mean?” she asked warily.

  “Well, anyone with eyes looks at Z’ev and knows he’s a dangerous man, but you, you sneak up on a person. You’re the scorpion at the bottom of a man’s sleeping bag. The copperhead in the underbrush. By the time they see you, they’ve already been bitten.”

  “Latet anguis in herbe,” murmured Nikki. Donny raised an eyebrow. “A snake lurks in the grass,” she translated. “It’s a Latin proverb.” Donny nodded.

  “That’s you,” he said.

  “You’re crazy,” countered Nikki.

  Z’ev came around the corner. He’d changed into slacks and a button-up shirt and he was wrapping a tie around his neck.

  “Z’ev,” said Donny. “Do you think your girlfriend’s dangerous?”

  “Every day,” answered Z’ev, looking up from the tie.

  “Does anyone else think that?”

  “No, and I can’t figure out why. I can’t do this without a mirror.”

  “See?” said Donny, as if his point had been irrefutably proved.

  “You’re both crazy,” said Nikki, untangling Z’ev’s tie.

  “Whatever.” Donny grinned. He slapped the railing twice with an open palm, and glanced at Z’ev. then back at Nikki. “You’re coming to the Fiesta, right? We still need to talk.”

  “Yes! I need to talk to you too. Jackson is planning on coming.”

  “Oh, good,” said Donny looking pleased. “I keep meaning to call him, but the family’s been keeping me busy. I’ll see you guys later then—Friday around five. But you know the family. It won’t really start kicking till about nine.”

  “Still out on Meyer?” asked Nikki looping the tie around Z’ev’s neck and pulling it through.

  “That’s the place. See you then.” Donny ambled off with a wave and Z’ev waved back without moving his head.

  “What was all that about?” asked Z’ev, as Nikki stepped back to check her work.

  “Oh, we bumped into a girl we used to go to school with and she was throwing some massive shade at me, so I told her where to go.”

  “Massive shade?” he repeated, mouthing the words as if they were an unfamiliar food.