Sovietnik's Fury

by V. F. Mason

My family actually contacted the FBI after I told them everything was fine?

  “Look, Agent—” My eyes scanned his chest for a name tag and once I noticed it, I added, “Hank. I called my parents, and I’m not here against my will.”

  “I don’t need you to speak for me, krasivoglazaya.” Radmir ran his hand softly on my back while addressing my father. “Like I said before, you have no jurisdiction to threaten me with prison. Let’s get inside and talk it out.” He gentled his tone, and I knew he did it for my sake, trying to reach my father somehow, but his effort was pointless.

  “I don’t need to hash out anything with you. She is coming with me, unless you want FSB here sniffing around your headquarters? Your pakhan?” He spat the word as if it was dirty. “Surely you agree with us and don’t want unnecessarily problems.”

  FSB stood for Federal Security Service of Russian Federation, the equivalent of FBI in the States. While Radmir explained to me that they couldn't catch their dealings, if they tried to get them inside and create problems… they could. And they’d never visited headquarters before. Considering the place had drugs, women, and guns, they would have enough evidence to create problems. Maybe not imprison them, but the obstacles would be huge. No one wanted to deal with a gang who couldn't handle the law.

  But knowing my father and the way he had behaved with his opponents, he could do so easily and without remorse in his heart.

  Someone had to interfere before it escalated into something neither of them would be able to stop.

  Taking a deep breath, I came to a conclusion in my mind and said, “Fine, I'll go with you.” Satisfaction settled on my father’s face, but I ignored it and focused my whole attention on my man who went rigid beside me, while his eyes shone with fury and desperation.

  “Vivian—”

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I rested my forehead against his, hoping he would see my side of this and it would calm him.

  “It’s better that I go with him. I don’t want to create any problems for the Bratva. I’ll go home, settle those doubts, and come back here within a few days.” While escaping my family seemed childish at the time, I had no fear that they would screw up my life.

  On most days, they were great parents, so once this whole thing settled, I was sure they would see the error of their ways.

  Or so I hoped.

  “No,” Radmir snarled. “No one takes away what’s mine. I can protect you here. There is another way.”

  “It’s better this way. They just need to see me home and calm down.”

  His grip squeezed my waist tighter as he kissed me, not caring in the least for the audience. His lips took mine prisoner as we collided in a deep, short kiss. All too soon, he let me go, and I gasped.

  “Stay put in the States. I will come after you as soon as I can. I won’t care if you had conversations with them or not. You are mine, and your father and the law can go fuck themselves,” he said harshly, then turned me around. “Edward Jackson, you didn’t win.”

  My father grabbed my hand, tugging on it lightly, so I had no choice but to follow him. I threw one last glance to Radmir, when my father murmured, “We will see, Radmir. We will see.”

  I hurt from the separation that had happened between us, but hope still lived in my heart, because I knew Radmir would move mountains and everything else to come see me, and I wasn't afraid of my family.

  However, life didn't go according to plan.

  Little did I know, my happy bubble would burst and nothing but emptiness would be left.

  Radmir

  Vivian slowly padded along the bare floor, her feet probably getting cold as the AC was running loudly. I wished to wrap my hands around her feet and rub them so she’d feel nothing but warmth. Hopping on the bed, she scooted closer to me and then extended her hand, in which she had a fluffy, purple photo album. “It has photos and my thoughts on… stuff.” Her voice hitched, but she took a deep breath and continued, “I think it would be better for you to read on your own.” With that, she tried to move back, but I grabbed her arm, plastering her against my chest as our lips brushed against each other. With a moan, she accepted my kiss as I poured into it as much as I could, my apology and love. When it got too much, she let go, and as we breathed heavily, I stood.

  “I’ll read them alone. You need to rest.”

  She didn't say anything, and her swollen red lips along with that fucking perfect skin of hers marked with my bites almost made me wish to go back to her and ravish her once more.

  Mine.

  But I couldn't do it as I held a precious thing in my hands, and I knew she needed for me to read it as much as I needed it.

  With one last glance as she dug deeper into the covers and smiled sadly at me, I walked to the living room, opened a balcony door, and sat down on the comfortable round chair as the night breeze cooled my heated skin.

  Flipping open the album, I got to see Jake’s pregnancy sonogram, his first few months of life, his first birthday, and so on as I turned pages, with Vivian’s perfect handwriting on the side mentioning dates and important events.

  I didn't notice my tears until the droplets dripped on the glossy photos, as I watched the images of my baby growing. I’d missed it all.

  Rubbing my fingers on his smiling face when he had his mouth full of his first ever birthday cake, I focused on one of the pages of her written diary and started reading, breathing heavily from the pang of my heart inside my chest.

  Then another and another, as certain paragraphs from each one of them stood out the most to me.

  October, 2011

  I never wanted to keep a diary, and had previously found it so stupid. But somehow, it became my only salvation, as in here… I can talk to you for hours and pretend you can hear my every thought and understand me. I don't have to randomly write about my feelings, so in a diary, I have you.

  Pregnancy is going well and “according to plan” as the doctor says, and I believe him. I got lucky and don’t have morning sickness.

  Sometimes, sitting all alone and waiting for an appointment gets me; it’s when I see happy couples, both parents excited to meet their baby.

  Why didn't we get such a chance? Why did we have to fight everyone and everything, and still lose?

  Alex promised to set me free once a certain time passes by. I don't know what kind of secret he needs to keep, but it's important enough that he keeps his word. He promised I could testify in your favor and give you an alibi.

  I have no clue how it happened that they got a testimony signed by me. I couldn't believe my eyes, and no matter how much I tried telling the judge it wasn’t true, he wouldn't listen to me. The date indicated it happened in the hospital, so someone must have slipped in this stupid confession while I was signing discharge papers. The judge kept on telling me it didn't matter anyway. That they had enough evidence without it to lock you away for life. But still, I hated myself for being so stupid and trusting. My body still shivers in revulsion when I think about his awful grin and cheery mood as if he had won the jackpot.

  But I have no choice but to wait, because the life of our baby depends on it.

  I just hope that once you see our baby, you will believe it was all worth it.

  The judge had a painful death by my hands. I’d killed him during his hunting trip, making him lose his mind in the wild to the point where he ran around hysterically calling for help as all his wits failed him. Once he was trembling from the cold, I grabbed him up and brought him to an isolated holding place. As tough as he’d appeared in court, he was nothing but a coward. He quickly spilled that he was paid a big sum of money to close the case and make sure I was locked up.

  I wouldn't have touched him if he was a man who’d followed the law and did his job with all the facts given. That would have been his right and I wouldn't hold a grudge. But this was not the case.

  I shot him right between his eyes, and in a second, he was gone. I wasn't in the mood for long torture, and I regretted it now. Knowing h
ow much he had hurt my woman, I would have spent more time teaching him a lesson before his death.

  December, 2011

  I’ve written seven letters and still have no reply. Every time I see a mailman or check my box, I hope to see something.

  But it never happens. I think I can understand your anger. You don't see why I would do something like that, but I had no choice.

  I never loved anyone but you, Radmir… and never will. Nothing can change the fact I’m yours. I just wish you still thought of yourself as mine.

  May, 2012

  Jake is sleeping in his crib, and I should probably be sleeping as well instead of writing here, but I need to calm down before tomorrow.

  I’m going to see you… even though you refuse to meet me. I still have hope with my last letter, which included Jake’s photo, you would change your mind.

  He is so precious, Radmir. I never thought I could love anyone like that… where I would give everything to him just to make him happy. Looking at him, holding him, makes it all worth it.

  My pain and heartache disappears into love.

  Only at nights do my tears come unbidden, as I imagine what it would have been like if you were with us.

  Please, Radmir, please, forgive me and allow me to finally see you.

  October, 2013

  I can’t do this anymore. My heart broke with each silence, with each rejection, even though maybe I deserved it. But how can you not see that marrying Alex was the only choice I had to keep our baby safe?

  I thought I could do it, but even talking to you here is so painful, and I can barely breathe. I shouldn't be sad all the time. I shouldn't suffer so much and not think about our little boy who needs a mother. I can’t focus on my emotions anymore, so it’s better to turn them off, for now.

  My only hope is that when you get out and seek your revenge, I’m not naïve enough to think that a man like you wouldn't blame me or want some kind of justice. You’ll no doubt come to me first. I just hope when you do, you’ll see how much I love you, and that despite the golden band on my finger, which means nothing, I never belonged to another.

  August, 2016

  I promised not to write to you again, because it was too painful, but how could I not do it after I got the slight glimpse of you for the first time in five years?

  Jake fell on the ice during our visit to my parents, and although everyone claimed he was fine, I wanted him to be checked by the doctor.

  While filling in the papers at the administration desk, I heard your name being called by the doctors as you were rushed into the ER with blood smeared all over you. I couldn't help but stare on in shock, barely breathing from the idea of losing you. I did in a way all those years ago, but to permanently know you no longer exist in this world? Just the idea shattered me.

  I asked Mom to take our son home and then stayed in the hospital, hoping to hear news about you. One of my high school friends was a nurse there, so she informed me all was well.

  As well as it could have been with all the wounds you received and the coma.

  Even though you refused to see me, I had no idea you’d be subjected to such treatment in prison. Stupid me thought mafia members were protected in such establishments, but it was all my foolish illusions.

  I called Alex from there and told him time was up, the five years had passed, and he agreed with me. While he isn’t a monster, I really can’t stand him and this charade we have going on. Thank God the divorce process had started.

  My written alibi was ready, so all I had to do was sign it with a date so he could proceed.

  In the next day, I came with Jake right before our flight back to New York.

  Dominic came right in time and, for a moment, I didn’t even recognize him. He’d changed during those years and probably gained a new status. While nothing but hatred came from them toward me—not that I was expecting anything else, although they did nothing to help you through the years—relief poured from my every bone at the knowledge you’ll finally be free of this nightmare.

  I know you will come to me once it’s all done.

  All I have to do is wait.

  Groaning loudly, I rested my forehead against the album while silently asking for forgiveness from Vivian, who had to go through all this alone. Just like me, in her greatest time of need, she was left alone, abandoned by the man who promised to always be there for her.

  How could she even stand me?

  Flipping to one last page, I noticed one last paragraph, shorter than the others, but the words there were like bullets to my heart.

  June, 2017

  You came.

  And instead of mending the broken pieces of my heart… you destroyed it.

  But despite that, I still love you. Is there ever going to be an escape from this all-consuming power you have over me?

  I hate our memories. I hate that I still keep your cross and engagement ring, that I still have your photos where no one can find them.

  I hate myself for this weakness, that is you, because you don't deserve it.

  Placing the album aside, I walked to the balcony banister, squeezed it tightly, and poured all my emotions into it. My shoulders sagged while I breathed through my nose, calming the beast inside me who wanted to destroy everyone and himself for hurting his woman so badly.

  I would soothe her pain with my love, with lovemaking, and wrap her in a cocoon so strong she’d never feel alone.

  Meanwhile, the main person responsible for our suffering would die a painful death. Fuck common sense.

  No one hurt what was mine and got away with it.

  Everyone would pay for every tear my woman spilled.

  Ten Days Later

  Vivian

  “Mom, will Daddy come to Grandpa’s?” Jake climbed back up on the seat next to where I sat and flipped through negatives of the recent photo shoot I had done to capture a generation of women who always chose to be a doctor as their profession. The family lived in Houston. I’d traveled there a few months ago to study their family history, and their story intrigued me. The most interesting part was that the women didn't go into medicine because it was tradition. They found their calling in it and loved being surgeons. As a result, I got shots of them during work, and they shared some of their old photos with me. Credit should be given when it was due. Because of them, I created an amazing collection of photos that I hoped to showcase in my gallery in the winter. That was why I traveled to Houston along with Jake, to get their written permission on the final photos.

  “I hope so, sweetie.”

  He frowned, clearly not liking my answer, and then he rested his cheek on my shoulder. “I’ll miss him,” he finally said, and I put aside the photos, enclosing him in my arms and ruffling his hair.

  “You won’t even notice how time flies by.” While I didn't forgive my folks for not supporting me when I needed them most, they still loved Jake, and he loved visiting them. As long as everything was all right, I didn't mind him having grandparents. After all, neither Radmir nor I had any other living family.

  I didn't count the Bratva as a family. I used to, back when Yuri, Gleb, and even Dominic accepted me as their sovietnik’s woman. However, none of them helped me, so I still held a grudge, and I wasn't sure anything would make me see them in a different light. Only time would tell.

  “Grandpa promised me we could go fishing and camping!” His eyes widened. “All by ourselves.”

  “He did, huh?” When would my father learn to consult me first before promising something to my child? He was fortunate I didn't mind it, because the fishing and camping happened on the ranch’s land. Growing up there myself, I wasn’t afraid of all the dangerous stuff that could happen.

  “Yep. Can I take my camera with me?” Last Christmas, he got a special Polaroid camera from me to snap his favorite moments, and I thought it was a nice way for him to appreciate art.

  “Sure, baby.” He grinned and then took out his iPad to watch some cartoon while I gazed through at the cle
ar blue sky and thought back on the last ten days we had spent as a family.

  We went to various malls, parks, ice-skating, and ice cream and pizza places. Jake wanted to show his daddy everything he liked, and we even attended the Broadway Peter Pan show. The boys would hang together when I had work to do, and as Radmir had promised, the Bratva members were invisible to us. They probably followed us around; after all, he belonged to a dangerous world, but as long as they didn't traipse behind us in their black suits with stone-cold faces and scare my kid, I didn't care.

  Jake was usually exhausted by the end of the day. He only had strength to grab a bite of dinner, and the minute his head touched the pillow, he’d fall asleep.

  And during that time, I had the undivided attention of the sovietnik as he used my body in the most skilled ways, bringing me nothing but pleasure and creating a cocoon around us where everything ceased to exist. We had long hours of lovemaking when he played my body like an instrument and reminded it to be attuned to his every touch and breath.

  Simply put, we lived like a normal family and I almost believed we could be happy together, putting the past behind us, but I didn't take into consideration his plan for revenge.

  Whenever we lay in bed, he waited for me to fall asleep, or so he thought, and then he'd sneak outside to talk with his Bratva members. He would sip his coffee in the living room afterward, reading various papers he hid from me in the morning. Too curious, I ignored his warning, and when he was in the shower, I checked them out. Thank God I kept my Russian lessons through the years and became fluent in the language; otherwise, I would have gotten a headache from their alphabet.

  The papers almost slipped through my fingers, because they had the names and locations of people who were involved in his legal case.

  And one of the names he had marked was my father’s.

  How would we build a life together if he planned to kill him?

  Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to discuss it with him, because he got a call and his face transformed into deep fury. He hung up quickly, barely kissed me goodbye, and disappeared.