"I know I haven't been the best boss to you or anyone in the marketing department at Matiz." My quest for an orgasm is broken just like that. "I'm too demanding at times. There have been a number of situations that I haven't handled in the best way. My resolution for next year is to improve on that."
My resolution for next year is to find another man to crush on. Ryker Moore is all business when it comes to me. I'm so inconsequential to him outside the office that he can't even remember kissing me. He was looking in Crew's direction so often tonight that I should have clued into what was going on by the time the main course was served. He showed up to my surprise party to impress my brother. Simple.
"We can all make improvements, Mr. Moore. I think resolutions are a great way to guide ourselves down a better path."
"Listen to you sounding all grown up and shit." Crew grabs my shoulders from behind. "Are you ready to go, Lark? The car will be here in ten. Kade and I will load up your gifts in the trunk and I'll take you home."
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I move to stand, but Ryker is on his feet first, pulling my chair back for me. He had been just as attentive when I took a seat at the table before dinner. "Thank you again for the flowers, Mr. Moore."
"Tell her to drop that, Moore." Crew scoops up a birthday card that's next to my wine glass. "She should be calling you Ryker."
"I agree." He brushes his hand over my forearm. "I've asked Lark several times to call me Ryker."
He has, but I've seen the scowl on his face whenever any of my colleagues refer to him by his first name. I won't set myself apart just because my older brother owns part of the company.
"I'll call him whatever I want." I turn to look at Crew. "It's not a big deal, Crew. Please don't worry about it."
"She's almost as good as you are, Ryker." Crew smirks. "You should watch your back. Lark's gunning for your job."
Great. What a fantastic way to end my birthday. The man I've thought about having sex with for the past year thinks I'm trying to take his job away from him. That seals the deal that Ryker will never want me the way I want him.
Happy Fucking Birthday, Lark.
Chapter 9
Ryker
I was so close to just putting it all out there. I was one sentence away from telling Lark that I wasn't talking about work when I blurted out to her that I can be bad. I can be bad, or dirty, or sensitive and tender when it comes to fucking. I can be anything the woman I'm with needs me to be. With Lark, I know I can be more.
Crew walked up behind her, though. Right when I was about to invite her out for a drink to cap off the night, he stepped into my view. I spit out that bullshit about trying to be a good boss to cover my tracks. I put a spin on my words so he'd avoid catching on that I want nothing more than to take his sister to bed and never let her leave.
This is so many ways of fucked up I can't count them all.
I didn’t pursue her after we kissed last winter because I didn’t want to risk the job. It's always been about the job for me. I graduated from college and set out on a sprint to be the best. I didn't have a thing to prove to anyone. I wasn't on a quest to make someone proud. I live for the thrill of taking a company to the next level. I get high from the knowledge that I'm the best at what I do.
I've spent the past year trying to push down my attraction to Lark by spending time with Gem after meeting her at a bar. I wasn't using her at first, but it morphed into that after I realized during a Monday morning marketing meeting months ago that Lark is, without a doubt, unlike any other woman I've ever known. She's beautiful and smart. Her heart is kind and open. It's not tarnished with doubt and regret. She's pure and full of promise.
She was dating a struggling actor who worked at the deli down the street when I had my epiphany, so I took Gem up on her offer when she invited me on a weekend trip to Vegas. She saw it as us taking our relationship to the next level. I saw it as an escape from the knowledge that I may have fucked up my one chance with a woman I felt something real for. I never felt anything for Gem beyond temporary lust and occasional fondness. She gave me an escape, and I gave her a male prop for her pictures. I became a pseudo-celebrity because I was hanging out with a woman who craved fame more than her next breath.
The deli guy was still in the picture a month after I returned from Vegas. I broke up with Gem during that trip, but she wanted me back, so I gave it another chance. It was fun for a few weeks, but that didn't last. In the past two months we slept together less, fought more and then last week when I tagged along on a photo shoot she booked with one of her sponsors in the Caribbean, everything blew apart.
I thought we were on a nude beach, so I stripped because it was too damn hot to wear anything. I have no problem being naked in front of anyone as long as I'm aware and alert. Gem knew we were being photographed. It was her intention for the pictures to go viral. She set me up, and once I realized it after reading an email she left open on her phone, I lost it.
I came back to Manhattan with the intention of swearing off women altogether for the foreseeable future but then I heard that whatever Lark had with the deli guy ended some time ago when he got a bit part in a movie and moved to Los Angeles.
She's still Crew's sister though which means I need to tread lightly, but I want to tread. The work is good. The job is the best I've ever had, but it can't replace what I felt when I kissed Lark.
"Did you just finish a late lunch? What did you have?"
Speak of the devil. I look up from my laptop to see Crew once again in the open doorway of my office. It's nearing six which means the marketing holiday party starts in an hour in the corner boardroom down the hall. I got an update from John when I arrived at the office this morning. The party was moved back a day to accommodate Lark's surprise birthday party.
"Lunch?" I shut the cover of my laptop. "I went to that pub around the corner and had a sandwich hours ago. Why?"
"Something in here smells good." He rubs the bridge of his nose. "Are you wearing new cologne?"
I know the unspoken rule about wearing anything in the office that's not branded by Matiz. I wear the company's cologne and it's not just because I've been given carte blanche to request a complimentary bottle from the store below our offices whenever I want. It's one of the perks of being a senior executive. I wear Matiz cologne because it suits me.
"Not a chance." I smile. "What can I do for you, Crew?"
"Lark was asking questions about you on the way to her party last night."
Questions are good. The fact that he's not flipping the fuck out about it is even better. If I wasn't working for him, I have a sense he'd be okay with me pursuing his sister. I'm three years older than her, established in my career, I rent an apartment on the Upper West Side and I'm a good guy.
"What were the questions specifically?" I ask because he doesn’t offer and I'm too curious to drop it.
"She wanted to know if I knew where you'd been fucking off to the last couple of days." He takes one full step forward. He's as aware as I am that John left for the day so no one can overhear our conversation.
"What did you tell her?" My shoulders tense even though I doubt like hell he said a word to Lark about where I was. I know she wanted to talk to me about why I still have the two images of her tattoo on my phone. I saw the question written all over her face the other day when I sent them to her, but I had personal business to take care of, and I'd requested Crew's discretion when I texted him to tell him I wouldn't be in.
"Nothing," he replies with a shrug of his shoulders. "She assumed it was related to Gem. I told her she dumped you and that was the end of it."
"I dumped Gem," I correct him.
"Not according to what she's posting online."
"She's a liar, Crew." I run my hand through my hair. "The worst mistake of my life was hooking up with her. I'll regret that forever."
"Regrets are useless, Ryker. Use that experience as a lesson. You know the kind of woman to stay away from now. Consider yourself lucky that y
ou weren't tied legally to her."
I've thought about that myself. Gem wanted a ring. She begged for one on her birthday a few months ago but I wasn't feeling it. Truthfully, I didn’t entertain the thought at all. I want the whole wife and family scene one day, but not with someone like Gem.
"You're too fucking young to worry about shit like this." Crew looks at me with a grin. "You've got years of good hard fun ahead of you before you should even think of settling down. Use me as an example. I'm what... three, four years older than you, and I'm nowhere near ready to hand it over to one woman."
"I'll keep that in mind, Crew. I'll buy you a beer at the party."
"I already bought all the beer for the party and the wine and all the other shit my assistant said she needed for it." He chuckles. "My plan is to tap out now. I don't need to be there. You should show up though. Keep the troops in line."
"They're all looking forward to it." I ease into the subject I've been dying to broach since he showed up. "Is Lark excited for it? I know she had a good time last year."
"Did she?" His mouth curves. "I wouldn't know. I asked about it and she shut me down so I dropped it."
"I'll make an appearance." I stand and extend my hand. "I won't see you again before Christmas break so enjoy the time with your family, Crew."
"You do the same." He gives my hand a firm shake. "You need anything, you call me, Moore. I can round up people to help you out within an hour. If you need the extra hands, I'll make it happen."
I appreciate the offer but I need something else. I need a chance with his sister. I'm hoping tonight I'll get it.
Chapter 10
Lark
"What are you doing over the Christmas break, Lark?" Dexie tips the glass in her hand in my direction. "Are you heading up to Connecticut like you did last year?"
And repeat one of the worst weeks of my life? Nope. I went to Connecticut after my birthday last year with a group of female friends from college. I thought it would be a week filled with shopping, good food and girl talk topped off with a New Year's Eve celebration for the ages. It was none of that. I spent almost an entire week listening to my school friends bitch about the men they'd been dating, the jobs they hated and the gifts they got for Christmas that they didn’t want.
"I'm staying home." I take a small sip from the glass of sparkling water in my hand. "I'll clean my closets and organize my kitchen."
"Way to live on the wild side." Christine downs what's left of the wine in her glass. "Dexie and I are going to hit a couple of clubs on New Year's Eve. You're welcome to come with us."
It's a tempting offer but I have other plans for New Year's Eve. My parents own a hotel in Times Square, and they've always kept a suite on the top floor open for anyone who wants to hang out there to watch the ball drop. I've never done it but I've always wanted to and this year seems like the perfect opportunity.
I've done some subtle digging and at the moment, it seems like I'm the only Benton who will be there. I'm good with that. I can welcome next year alone with a clear focus on what I want to accomplish.
"I have plans," I say with conviction. "Thanks for the invite."
"Are your plans with Ryker?" Christine's brows dance. "If they are, can you take pictures? I don't think he would mind. He seems very comfortable in front of the camera."
Dexie laughs but my expression is stoic, my eyes glued to Christine. "Just because he seemed comfortable doesn't mean he was. Those pictures are an invasion of his privacy."
"Look at you defending him again." Christine leans forward. "Are you fucking him? You're fucking Ryker, aren't you?"
"Did you hear what I just said?" I place my plastic wine glass on the conference room table next to where we're standing. "Every time you crack a joke about those pictures, you're disrespecting him."
"I knew something was going on between you two after the way you reacted in the boardroom when I pulled up those memes of his dick." She jabs her index finger into my forearm. "I saw you two kissing by the elevator at the party last year. I thought it was nothing when I heard he was fucking that Instagram model, but you've been his second taste this entire time, haven't you? You give it up to him when she's off jetting around the world. You're his whore on demand."
Her words float around me, but they're so foreign I can't absorb them. "I'm not a whore."
"You kissed him in full view out in that corridor." Her hand flies next to my face in the air. "You were practically sucking his face off, Lark. That's the only reason you're assigned the bigger campaigns. It's because Ryker's dick is so far up your ass, that he can't think straight."
I want to slap her but I can't. My hands shake, my knees tremble but I stand firm. I'm a Benton. My parents taught me to never back down if I'm firm in my conviction. "I'm going to do everything in my power to get you fired."
She laughs so loudly that the sound vibrates off the walls. The room is silent save for the reverberating sound of her cackle. "Good luck with that. I haven't done anything wrong."
"I disagree." Crew steps in place beside me. "You're fired, Christine. As of this second, you no longer work for Matiz."
***
"Ryker kissed you at the Christmas party last year?"
I look up and into Crew's face. I've been sitting at his desk for half an hour. I know I should go back to the party and face my co-workers, but I'm not up to it right now. I don't want to give Christine's ugly accusations any weight. I haven't been granted any special favors by Ryker. I don't have to prove that to anyone.
"I kissed him too." I swallow past the lump in my throat.
"Was that the start of something between you two?" He leans against the edge of his desk.
I don't know how to take that. He's essentially asking me if I was involved with Ryker while he was involved with Gem. My brother knows me so well in many ways and apparently I'm a stranger to him when it comes to where my moral compass is.
"We kissed under the mistletoe and never talked about it. He met Gem. I met Dale from the deli, and we both did our own thing."
"So nothing is going on at the moment between you and Moore?"
"Technically, no," I murmur.
He furrows his brow. "What does that mean?"
His tone is firm, the question expected but infuriating. I shouldn't be required to explain my attraction to my boss to my brother. I'm a grown woman. I don't want to be under his watchful gaze for eternity. "I like him, Crew. I like him a lot."
"You like Ryker?"
My skin peppers with a sheen of nervous sweat. I wore the dress that Crew dubbed as Mrs. Claus like tonight and it's clinging to me like a wet second skin. I'm not only uncomfortable because of the topic, but I'm physically uncomfortable too. "I do, yes."
"Because of those pictures that were online?" He rubs his chin. "Is this about those pictures or the kiss?"
"It's about him." I pull on the collar of the dress but it does nothing to offer me a reprieve from the warmth I feel. "I don't even know if he likes me that way, Crew, but I want to find out."
"It's not a good call to get tangled up with someone you work with, Lark. If things hit the rails, you're setting yourself up for a complicated work dynamic with him."
"What if things don't hit the rails, Crew?" I twist my hair into a knot in my hand, exposing my neck to the cool air in his office. "I want to find out for myself. I want to take chances and make mistakes. I want to experience things. I want to know him outside of work."
He studies my face, his eyes narrowing. "You're still my little sister. I don't want your heart to get broken."
I fist my hand on my chest. "I'm not saying I'll fall in love with him, Crew. I just want to see if he feels the same spark that I do."
"I'd never stand in your way." He moves closer, edging the toe of his black oxford against my shoe. "If he made you feel all this from a kiss, take the chance."
"You're not going to flip out when you see him, are you?" I push myself to my feet. "Promise me you won't go all overbearing br
other on me if you see me talking to him at the party."
"I can't promise that," he says with a smile. "I can promise to trust that you know what you're doing. He's not at the party, though, Lark."
"He's not?" I pause to collect myself, disappointment rushing through me. "I thought he was going to be there."
"Something came up." He looks at me. "He texted me right before the party started to say he couldn't make it. He asked me to make an appearance in his place."
"Oh." I hear the dejection in my voice. I had pled my case to Crew not only to remove the barrier of his meddling but to convince myself that I needed to take a chance by telling Ryker I'm attracted to him.
Crew lifts his chin. "He asked me to keep this quiet. He trusted me with this, and I don't want to break that."
I want to yank the sister card out of my pocket but I can't. Ryker entrusted my brother with something. If I push to find out more, I'll damage whatever friendship or understanding they've built.
"Is he with a woman?"
"Yes." Crew nods slowly. "It's not what you think though."
"I want to talk to him before anyone else from marketing does. I need to be the one to tell him what Christine said." I fidget on my feet. The sound of the bells on my belt jingling brings an unexpected smile to my mouth. "I guess I should be grateful I won't see him tonight. He'd want nothing to do with me seeing me dressed like this."
"I told you last night that no one can rock a Mrs. Claus look the way you do." He flicks his index finger against the bells. "I think it's the perfect dress to wear to go get some ice cream."
I tilt my head to the side. "Where the hell did that come from? Are you inviting me to go for ice cream with you? It's cold out and you hate ice cream."
"I'm not going." He closes his eyes and arches his neck back. "You should go alone. Go to the place that you always go to. Cremza. Go now."
"You're not setting me up for another surprise party, are you?" I tease. "My heart can't take another one of those."
"There's a surprise waiting for you there, but don't bring my name into it." He taps his finger on my chin. "You got that, sis? I didn't send you there. You're going because you're craving a scoop of mint chocolate chip."
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