by Ashley
“They stop seeing clients at 4:45,” the security guard called after her. Breeze ignored him and stepped onto the elevator. There was no way she was coming back another day. She had waited three long years for this and she wanted to get back to Aurora as quickly as she could. I’ve already missed so much time with her, Breeze thought. Each gulp of free air she breathed felt wrong without her daughter.
“Excuse me, I’m here to see Bernice Jackson,” Breeze said as she stood in front of the receptionist’s desk.
“Do you have an appointment?” the lady asked. She looked at the wall of employees. The smiling faces of the women and men gave her hope. They looked friendly enough. They were there to help mothers like Breeze. She scanned the wall until she found Bernice’s picture. This woman was the one who would reunite her with her baby.
“Ma’am?” the receptionist called.
Breeze turned back toward the desk. “Umm, no. I don’t have an appointment, but it’s important that I see her today. It’s an emergency.”
“Every woman who comes in here has an emergent situation, ma’am. Without an appointment, you won’t be able to see a caseworker.”
“Please,” Breeze whispered. “I just need a few minutes of her time.”
“I’m sorry. You have to make an appointment,” the woman replied.
Breeze’s frustration mounted as she placed both hands on the counter. “I’m not leaving here until I see her,” she insisted.
She was so close to getting her daughter back but still so far away.
“Ma’am, do I need to call security? Now I’ve told you what you need to do to see Ms. Jackson.”
“You can call whoever you want, but I’m not leaving here until I see her!” Breeze said, sternly. “You do not want to be the one to stand between me and my daughter. I’ve waited too long for this moment to let some bitch behind a desk try to stop me.”
“Is there a problem?”
Breeze looked at the woman who rushed in after hearing the commotion.
“Ms. Jackson?” Breeze recognized her. “Please, I know you’re ready to get off work but please just hear me out. My daughter Aurora and my nephew C.J. I’m trying to find them … please.”
The color drained from the woman’s face and she looked as if she had seen a ghost. She hadn’t heard C.J.’s name since the day Estes snatched him from her house and she had hoped those past bones would stay buried.
“I tried to tell her to make an appointment…”
Bernice looked at Breeze in fear, unsure if this was another family member there to deliver a message. Bernice dreaded the day that Estes knocked on her door again. Afraid to decline the meeting, Bernice shook her head. “No, I’ll take her now.”
Breeze sighed in relief.
“Come on back,” Bernice invited as she held open the door. “My office is this way.” Breeze took the woman in, frowning as she noticed her disfigured left hand. She only had three fingers and Breeze found it hard to stop staring.
Breeze followed her to the corner office. “Take a seat.”
“My name is Breeze Diamond—”
“I know who you are,” Bernice said, her voice shaking. “Please, I don’t want any trouble.”
Breeze frowned. Damn, just the name alone puts fear in people, Breeze thought. She was clueless as to the reason why Bernice was shaking so hard.
“I’m just here for information,” Breeze said, trying to sweeten her tone to calm the woman’s rattled nerves.
“Your nephews are Carter Jones and Monroe Diamond. Your daughter is Aurora Rich. I know your case well and have followed it since it fell on my desk three years ago. I’m very sorry about what happened to your nephews. I tried to help C.J. after Monroe was sentenced. I fostered C.J. but a man named Emilio Estes came for him. He, umm, he insisted that I let him take him. I haven’t heard from C.J. since. I hoped I wouldn’t. I—I—have changed my life. I really don’t want any trouble,” Bernice stammered, stumbling over her words as her eyes misted.
“Estes?” Breeze asked with hope in her voice. She had no idea where her grandfather was, but she remembered giving the order to Einstein to find him. The fallout from Miamor’s arrest had sent both Estes and Carter into a hole. “He was here in the States?” Why would he show up on this woman’s doorstep? Why was fear so present in this woman’s eyes?
“Yes, he came to my home,” Bernice answered.
“How long ago was this?” Breeze asked.
“Three years ago.”
At least C.J. is with family, Breeze thought as she sighed in relief. It was one less thing she had to worry about. I’m almost willing to bet that Estes took him back to the Dominican Republic. As soon as I get my hands on my baby, I can go be with them, Breeze thought.
“Where is my daughter? I need to get her back,” Breeze said.
Bernice rummaged through a stack of files that sat atop her desk. She opened a manila folder and read it quietly before responding. “It looks like she is placed with a foster family.”
“Who? Where?” Breeze asked. “I’m home now. I want her back.”
“There is a process. You’re at a halfway house, I assume. How long did they order you to remain there?” Bernice asked.
“Three months,” Breeze replied.
“You can’t bring children there. Once you’re out, you must prove that you can take care of her. You must have taxable income and a place of your own.”
As Bernice spoke, Breeze felt her frustrations rise. “She’s mine! She belongs with me. I shouldn’t have to prove anything. They took her from me and I did my time. Now you’re sitting here telling me I have to jump through hoops to get her back!”
“It’s just the way the system is built,” Bernice said, apologetically.
“I can’t even see my daughter?” Breeze’s lip trembled as she posed the question.
“I’m afraid not,” Bernice said.
Breeze leaned over in her chair as sorrow filled her. It filled her up so high that she felt like she would drown in it. She wiped away the tears that she tried her hardest to hold in. Prison had taught her not to show weakness and she was embarrassed that she was becoming unhinged in front of this woman.
“I’m so sorry,” Bernice extended. “I can help you find employment and help get you a place, and as soon as you are in a position where the courts will grant you custody I will expedite the paperwork, but that’s all the power I have over the situation. I swear, I will give you a glowing recommendation, just please…”
Breeze frowned. What did Estes do to this woman?
“In the meantime, you just have to be patient. You have to let the system work,” Bernice concluded.
“Is she safe at least?” Breeze whispered.
“According to the reports, she is just fine,” Bernice said.
Her words did little to reassure Breeze. She’s not fine. She is with strangers. She isn’t with me. Nothing is fine. Everything about this is wrong, she thought. She was pained to her core. Being locked up and away from Aurora was one thing, but being free and still not being able to get to her baby was a torture that made her want to die.
“Here is my card,” Bernice said. Breeze accepted it. “You call me and I’ll do whatever I can to help you get readjusted so that a judge will grant you custody of your child. Please let Estes know that I don’t want any trouble.”
Breeze nodded and stood as Bernice walked her toward the front. Before Breeze exited she said, “I left my wallet.”
She backtracked and looked down the hall to make sure no one was coming before she flipped open the file she had seen Bernice open.
“1128 West Dorchester,” Breeze whispered. She hurried and exited the building, practically blowing by Bernice on her way out. “1128 West Dorchester. 1128 West Dorchester.”
* * *
It took Breeze an hour and two bus transfers to get to the address. She stood across the street from the house, waiting, watching. It took her a while to work up the nerve to walk up to the door
.
She rang the doorbell and shifted nervously.
The door opened and Breeze froze. “Nurse Steph?”
A little girl in a bright blue dress ran up and wrapped herself around Steph’s leg. “Mommy!”
Hearing Aurora call another woman mommy was like a punch to the gut. It knocked the wind out of her.
“Hello Breeze,” Steph greeted. Breeze could see her reluctance as Steph stood guarded in the doorframe. “Aurora, go watch cartoons in your room. Okay sweetheart?”
The little girl took off, yelling jovially. Breeze’s heart leaped with every inflection of Aurora’s voice.
“Are you going to let me in?” Breeze asked.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” Steph said.
“What are you talking about?” Breeze asked. “Of course, I am. You have my daughter. She’s mine. Please. You have to let me see her. I’m not asking.”
Steph sighed and Breeze walked in uninvited. On one hand Breeze was thankful that Steph had taken her daughter. As she looked around the neat house it seemed that Steph was providing a good life for Aurora. There were pictures of the two of them displayed on the mantel and jealousy seared Breeze.
“I asked you to take her that day at the hospital. You told me no,” Breeze started.
“It didn’t feel right to let someone else take her. I applied to be her foster mother,” Steph explained.
“Does she know about me?” Breeze asked.
“No, I didn’t know how to explain it to her,” Steph whispered.
“You didn’t know how to explain it, or you didn’t want to?” Breeze asked.
The look of guilt that crossed Steph’s face enraged Breeze. “I want to hate you right now, but the smile on her face in these pictures is what is holding me back. You have taken care of her and kept her out of the hands of people who may hurt her. I don’t even want to think of what she might have gone through if you hadn’t taken her in, but I’m out now and I want my daughter back. Go get my baby.”
“Breeze—”
“Go get her!” Breeze shouted.
The shouting summoned Aurora from her room. “Mommy! Why are you screaming?”
“I’m not, beautiful,” Steph said. Breeze froze and bent down.
“Hi—Aurora…” she stammered, her words coming out with pangs of emotion. “Come here baby,” she coaxed as Aurora walked slowly toward her. When she was within arm’s reach, Breeze bent down and reached out her hand. When Aurora’s tiny hand was safely in hers, Breeze felt a current of energy pass between them. It was the same feeling Breeze felt when she first held her in the hospital. It felt like a gift, one that God had wrapped up in this beautiful little girl and delivered to Breeze.
“Hi,” Aurora replied. Her voice was so small. She’s shy, Breeze thought. She doesn’t know me.
Breeze pulled Aurora into her arms and sobbed as she hugged her. “Are you crying?” Aurora asked, her sweet tone sounding like music to Breeze’s ears. Breeze sniffled as she pulled back.
“These are happy tears. I’m so happy to be here with you,” Breeze said.
“What’s your name?” Aurora asked.
Breeze looked back at Steph and then stood to her feet. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to make sense of the confusion. Steph was the only mother that Aurora knew. It would break her heart to learn something new, but there was no way that Breeze could let this charade continue. She picked up her daughter.
“What’s your name?” Breeze countered.
“Aurora Diamond.”
“That’s right. My name is Breeze Diamond,” Breeze said sweetly.
“Don’t,” Steph interrupted.
“Mommy, she has the same last name as me!” Aurora exclaimed in excitement.
“Breeze, you need to leave,” Steph said. “You can’t just take her. You must go in front of a judge. She needs stability. She needs—”
“Me!” Breeze said sternly. “Don’t stand here and tell me what my daughter needs. She needs me,” Breeze whispered. “I’m her mother.” Breeze didn’t know who she was trying to convince more, Steph or herself, but seeing her daughter happy with someone other than her was heartbreaking. From her prison cell, Breeze had pictured Aurora just as miserable as she had been. She had told herself her daughter was lost without a connection to her, but it looked as if she was flourishing just fine without Breeze. She was grateful that Aurora was in good hands but it didn’t stop the sting of jealousy from hurting all the same.
Aurora felt so right in her arms, so comfortable, so good. “Let me tell you something sweetheart. Look me in my eyes,” Breeze said. “The reason why we have the same last name is because I’m your mommy. I’m your real mommy. Steph is my friend and she took care of you for me while you were a baby because I had to go away for a little while. I missed you every single day though. I thought about you every second. Now that I’m back, we are going to be together really, really soon. I promise you. I’m going to get us a big castle and you’re going to have a big playroom filled with toys.”
“You’re my mommy?” Aurora asked.
“That’s right and don’t you forget it,” Breeze said as she planted a kiss on Aurora’s forehead.
“You can’t do this. I’m calling the police,” Steph said.
“No need to,” Breeze said. She put Aurora down. “I’ll be back for you,” she told Aurora. She approached Steph and stood closely to her so that Aurora wouldn’t overhear her next words. “The only reason I’m leaving her here is because I want to do this right. I don’t want to be on the run with my baby. I want to be her mom, the right way. Dead that mommy shit with my kid. You’re not her mother. I appreciate what you’ve done for her and as promised, you will be compensated for that, but I’m going to go to court and I’m going to get custody of her. After that your services will no longer be needed. If you try to run with my daughter, I will kill you. I’m going to have someone sitting on your house twenty-four seven making sure you don’t get any bright ideas. If he even thinks you’re moving wrong, I will give the order to have you executed,” Breeze said. “I don’t want it to come to that but it can if you push me there. Do not play games with my daughter.”
With a reluctant heart, Breeze turned back toward her child. She wanted to take her so badly. She wanted to risk it all and just snatch her out of Steph’s possession right now, but she knew she couldn’t. She never wanted to put herself in a position to be away from Aurora again and if she handled this the wrong way, she would be sent right back to prison. Breeze took a deep breath and gazed lovingly at her daughter, then walked out the door. Every step she took made her sick to her stomach. You didn’t come this far to fuck up now. It’s not like she’s in danger. She’s being taken care of. This is her home for now. This isn’t a war that I can win with my name. I have to be a mother. I have to do what’s best for her, even if it hurts me. I’ll transition her slowly and once we’re back together, I’ll make sure no one ever separates us again.
CHAPTER 16
The glamour was gone. The hair. The nails. The money. It was all a thing of the past, but the one thing that Miamor never lost, regardless of circumstance, was power. Miamor was the type of woman who always landed on her feet. They couldn’t build walls tall enough to contain her. She was a giant. Mentally, she had been trained to withstand everything outside of death. Only God could touch her. Despite the physical restraints, Miamor still thrived. The prison sentence only made her legend greater. The women locked down with her worshipped her. Without even trying, she ran the prison. The guards didn’t test her and the inmates respected her. Miamor walked around like a giant inside the prison. The only thing she couldn’t do was walk outside the gates, but everything inside the hellhole she had free rein over.
Miamor made her way to the visitor’s room, silently wondering who had come to see her. Whoever it was, she hoped they weren’t expecting her to be as they remembered. The khaki uniform she wore was a size too big and swallowed her. The two cornro
ws she wore straight to the back did nothing to compliment her face. Miamor was rough around the edges, thugging it, and it would be a long time before she would feel like the queen that Carter portrayed her to be.
Miamor walked into the visitor’s room and went down to her assigned window. Breeze sat there and Miamor rolled her eyes as she sat down, snatching the phone off the cradle.
“What are you doing here? It’s been three years and I haven’t seen your face, Breeze,” Miamor said.
“That’s because I had my own set of bars to deal with,” Breeze said.
“What?” Miamor sat up, stunned by the revelation. “What are you talking about? I’m in here so that nobody else has to be. You were supposed to hold down the kids.”
“Yeah, well. The government had other plans for me. I did three years, Miamor. In South Carolina,” Breeze said.
“Where are the kids? Where is C.J.?” Miamor’s concern was evident. She wasn’t easily rattled, but the thought of her son in the wrong person’s hands made her fill with dread.
“C.J. somehow ended up with Estes, Mo is in juvie, and my daughter, Aurora, is with a foster family. I don’t know if I will be able to get her back,” Breeze whispered. Her chin quivered.
“I’m sorry, Breeze. I had no idea,” Miamor said. She felt relief that her son was in capable hands. She would have preferred if he was with Carter, but Estes was better than the alternative. For him to end up like Mo or Aurora would make every day of her sentence even worse. Estes wasn’t a friend of hers, but he wasn’t an enemy either. There were not many people she could say she trusted with C.J.’s life. Most would use him to make her pay for the many sins she had committed over the years. At least with Estes he would live and she hoped that he would soak up the game. The last thing she wanted was for her son to be out in the world living a false sense of security without protection. He had a killer’s instinct in his blood. She just hoped he used it to survive. “Who has Aurora?” Miamor asked.
“I gave birth to her in prison and was transferred to a county hospital in Charleston, South Carolina. There was a nurse there. Stephanie Wilkes. She fostered Aurora. She’s raised her since then and I don’t think she’s going to willfully give her back, Mia. I’m going to have to fight for my own daughter and I’m going to lose. She has a job and a nice house. I need taxable income, I need something that I’ve attained on my own. I’m living in this filthy halfway house for the next few months. I’m a felon! I can’t win this in court. They’re never going to give her back to me. I don’t know what to do,” Breeze admitted.