by R. W. Holmes
It was large, windowed, and had black and yellow industrial striping all over it.
“Look at it! Brand new, never been used...” Allen mused as he opened the door and revealed an ominously cold, empty room within. Its far wall was ridged along the center, as if it came apart...
“Not surprising when you look around this place though, eh?” added Allen.
Emily sneered at Allen as he softly pushed her into the room, and even giggled when she swayed to the far end and bounced off the wall.
“They say you live longer if you exhale all the air in your lungs first” Allen said as he reached out to a control panel beside the door and pressed a button labeled 'Seal'.
Like before when Emily had done it, a warning came up on the control panel mounted beside the door. Big, angry letters wrote out the message: Living Creature Detected Within.
Allen smiled and hit the override button, before entering the station password he'd found written on a post-it note by Argyle's computer.
“It's for trash!” said Allen, his words unable to pierce the soundproof interior of the room within. “I wasn't sure if you got it or not. This room is for disposing of trash.”
Emily continued to glare back at Allen unamusedly as she floated helplessly in the air.
“Whatever” muttered Allen. “Not like it matters now.”
Allen's finger descended on the large, yellow button with the word 'Dump' written on it.
Emily closed her eyes as she felt the wall behind her swing outward, breaking the airlock and hurling her out into the cold, empty vacuum of space.
Chapter 17
The Good Guys
“Now boarding all passengers.”
Gael flicked Zinerva, who'd taken to dozing in the airport-like waiting area of their gate at the starport. She stuttered awake, almost violently so, but said nothing as she hopped out of her chair and followed Gael to the almost nonexistent line at the check-in terminal.
“Guess who?” a voice called, its feminine hands suddenly and without warning being draped over Gael's eyes.
Gael spun in place, expecting the worst, but instead found himself stammering to recall the name of the young woman standing before him. “D... Debra!”
“Sup?” Debra replied with a wide, beaming grin. “You know I wasn't going to miss out on tramping about Mars with you. I got to see an elder thing because of you, and live to tell everyone about it!”
Gael stared back at Debra in shock, unsure of how to respond.
“I like you” said Zinerva. “You take things less seriously than I do.”
“I apologize for that” said Debra's hulking troll companion, Grim, from where he loomed behind her. “I hope you'll not find her too much of a burden.”
“Oh no, it's fi-,” Gael started.
“I told the woman at the counter we're friends, so we get to sit next to each other!” Debra said excitedly. “Now you'll have plenty of time to tell me how to summon a demon.”
“How about you get better at being your own kind of summoner” replied Gael. “And when you're as good as I am, we'll trade secrets.”
“Or you could tell me after I help you join the light year high clu-mph” Debra started, before Grim clapped one of his oversized hands over her mouth.
“It's a nine hour flight” said Grim. “But my size requires the purchase of two seats. We could put the two of them on one side and us on the other if you'd like.”
Gael shook his head. “I need the distraction” he said unexpectedly. “Let's go aboard before we miss our chance.”
“Artemis.”
Artemis blinked and looked beside himself to where Kiki sat beside him. They were out in front of the hot dog joint Kiki loved so dearly, sitting at the curb and watching the citizens of Eiffel go by.
“They're so very different from us” he said absentmindedly. “You'd think they would fear us.”
“They think we're just really weird humans who like to do messed up stuff to our bodies, though” replied Kiki. “And you've seen them, some of them really are like that. I guess it's normal when there's more than a hundred billion of them in the galaxy.”
“But why aren't they afraid of their own when they'd do such strange and irrational things?” Artemis asked next.
“Right, you're young” Kiki started. “But I'm not. I've been around since the nineteen-hundreds, and the behavior you're talking about has become much more sophisticated. The 'us versus them' mentality humans have has always been complex, but they've gotten much better at abusing their own with it as the years have gone on. You see, we're not the 'them', and... this is boring you, isn't it?”
“I'd rather know than not” replied Artemis.
Kiki nodded. “Well anyway, 'Them' is subjective, and most body modders feel the same way about a lot of things, especially on a political level. There are plenty of humans that would sooner demonize a hard-working, kind, and trustworthy citizen for feeling one way about something, and then publicly kiss our asses because it'd win our support. The best part is, they probably don't even care. They'll make the most obscene political alliances just so that both parties will act favorably to one another, all so that they'll get what they want when the time comes.”
Artemis took a bite of his hot dog and sighed.
“They're savages.”
“Yep” Kiki replied knowingly. “That's why I just stick to hot dogs.”
“And if human politics suddenly threatened Vienna beef?” asked Artemis.
Kiki laughed, but her 'playful' slap at Artemis's side was anything but. “Don't joke about that” she said, her tone eerily serious.
As Kiki and Artemis finished their hot dogs, a pair of familiar figures made their way over and came to a stop just before them.
“Go around us” Kiki said to them. “You're standing in the middle of the road.”
Artemis, though, quickly stood up in alarm.
“Father Jacobs” he said nervously, before glowering at his companion and respectfully muttering, “Sauriel...”
“You know these people, Art?” Kiki asked as she stood up as well.
Father Jacobs stared at Kiki for a moment, his eyes glued to her decidedly offensive appearance, before leaning over to Sauriel and asking, “Is she...?”
“A spriggan” replied Sauriel. “Probably harmless.”
“But I am not” insisted Artemis. “Not if you've come for me.”
Father Jacobs scoffed. “We're not the grim reaper” he joked. “We're, uh...”
“Your friends are fleeing the city” Sauriel interjected.
“My friends are shedding their more cumbersome friends” replied Artemis. “Which is why they are probably no longer my friends, and probably never were.”
“Great!” exclaimed Kiki. “Thanks a lot, guys. You just ruined hot dog therapy.”
“Hot dog what?” Sauriel queried confusedly.
Jacobs sighed and straightened up, determined to get the conversation back on track. “Listen, I called them because Sauriel here says there's a problem” he started. “And now they tell me there's a problem as well, and I can't help but think the first person to summon a demon in several centuries might be at the epicenter of it.”
“And what does the angel say is wrong?” asked Artemis.
“Whoa!? He's a fricken angel!?” Kiki exclaimed excitedly, her outburst drawing stares from the people passing by. “I'm sorry, it's just been so long since something has been a first for me. I've never met an angel before.”
“Mere hours ago Heaven was berating me for how I'd let the situation with you come to pass” Sauriel said to Artemis. “Now, Heaven does not care. At all. About anything. It's... infuriating. The whole world here, the world of man they are supposed to tend to for all eternity, is suddenly something they feel is no longer their responsibility.”
“Why?” asked Artemis.
“I don't know” said Sauriel. “They only tell me it is time to return, but it is so uncharacteristic of Heaven that I believe
my connection to them may have been hijacked. I can sense only the worst of things to come from all of this.”
“Oh” Artemis said as he sat down. “Well, we'll call you when Gael gets back. Him asking Angelica and Kennedy is what made them leave, so maybe he does know something.”
“We want to be more proactive than that” said Jacobs. “It's hardly my place to do this, but when you pledge yourself to God the way I have you're kind of on the same hook as the angel when you let the demon get away.”
“And I suppose I'm just as obligated for being left to run free somehow?” challenged Artemis. “Heaven wants me in Hell. It and its servants will not have my assistance.”
Kiki looked to Artemis incredulously and said, “Or we could go home right now and, you know, call Gael immediately because it could be important and we have nothing better to do.”
Artemis scowled and folded his arms defensively. “I suppose” he acquiesced.
A short while later, Artemis returned home and found the place cleared of all but the furnishings present when he'd first moved in. He was hurried to where a landline sat waiting in its charger and instructed to make a call, albeit with a short five minute explanation on how to use a phone, which was in turn followed by a short twenty-five minute explanation on why they work at all.
Artemis didn't believe any of the reasons given to him, but he also had no idea how summoning worked, and used the logic that it was merely a force to be tempered through careful use. Visibly shaking as he was, Artemis took the small plastic device from Father Jacobs and began dialing the number Angelica had thoughtfully left taped to her refrigerator.
“Hello?”
“Oh, Angelica...” Artemis mumbled awkwardly. “I, uh, I need Gael's number.”
There was a pause from the other end of the line, before Angelica quickly read out Gael's number. “That's it, right?” she added quickly. “You don't need anything else?”
Artemis frowned and looked to Kiki, Jacobs, and Sauriel sheepishly. “I-I never got a chance to say goodbye” he replied stoically. “I don't think I can say it.”
Angelica winced from her end and muttered, “Oh...”
“I'm sorry” Artemis said instead. “For what happened when we first met. I don't think I've ever said that properly, and yet you put up with me for as long as you did. So, I'm sorry, and thank y-,”
Kiki, Jacobs, and Sauriel all flinched as they heard the harsh 'click!'ing sound of Angelica abruptly ending the call.
On Angelica's end, Kennedy was returning from the rental kiosk he'd returned the keys to their pickup truck at.
“What's up?” he asked her. “Everything okay?”
Angelia nodded and put away her phone. “Wrong number.”
“Awesome” replied Kennedy. “Hey, do you remember our reservation number?”
“Yes” said Angelica. “99243212, I have an excellent short-term memory.”
Back in the apartment Artemis had inherited, Kiki found herself taking a necessary initiative.
“So” she said to Artemis. “You didn't write that phone number down...”
“It's fine” Artemis replied reassuringly. “I have an excellent memory for such things.”
For Gael Walsh, a commercial space flight was something he'd only ever experienced on one other occasion in his life: on the very, very short flight to Enterprise Island. The first five of the nine hours in the cramped, dingy cabin of a cheap commercial ship was an entirely new experience for him, one that was only amplified by the fresh annoyance that was Debra Dandy.
“Does it have anything to do with candles?” asked Debra. “They always have candles when they're doing demon and witchcraft stuff in the movies.”
Gael didn't answer, and instead checked his phone for the time. They were one hour in to their flight, and it was becoming evident that his sanity wouldn't make it. Looking across the aisle and over to Grim, he found the large, reasonable troll fast asleep and useless in his promises to keep Debra under control.
Debra impatiently interposed herself between Gael's sight line to grim, causing him to look away.
“What are you thinking?” Zinerva asked from the other seat beside Gael.
“Grim's asleep” replied Gael. “Debra reeks of hairspray. It wouldn't take much to set all of her hair on fire...”
“What? That's not cool...” whined Debra. “I never threatened you.”
“You're threatening my sanity” replied Gael.
“That doesn't-,”
Debra's reply was cut short by the sudden illumination of Gael's phone and the accompanying blaring of its ring tone.
“Hello?” Gael said as he quickly answered it.
“Ah... hi” said an unexpected, but familiar voice. “It's Artemis.”
“Aren't you supposed to be with Angelica right now?” asked Gael.
“No” said Artemis. “I've been left behind. Listen, the priest has come to me with grim news. His angel says that heaven has stopped caring about the affairs of our world.”
Gael blinked. “What!?” he said in surprise.
“What happened?” Debra and Zinerva asked in unison.
“There is a suspicion that you might be involved” continued Artemis. “Sauriel wishes to add that this is not to say that they suspect you are deserving of blame.”
“Well we're flying back to Eiffel to find the damn Four-Seal Scroll” said Gael. “Does Sauriel know anything about it?”
There was a pause from the other end of the line.
“Sauriel has never heard of such a thing” replied Artemis.
“Really?” queried Gael. “Because apparently Death wanted to the R'lyehans to have it.”
“Yes, I understand” said Artemis. “Can you tell us the name of The Fae's agent that wanted Angelica's and Kennedy's assistance? I think Father Jacobs and Sauriel would like to take their place in the matter.”
“Yeah, no, that'd be great” Gael said as he lowered the phone, before turning to Debra and asking, “Where's your guy? The one in Eiffel, I mean. Some old friends of mine have shown up to help.”
“How the Hell does a guy like you have so many friends in this business already?” Debra mused as she fished out her own phone.
“What do you mean by, 'A guy like me'?” asked Gael.
“You just started!” blared Debra, before shaking her head in frustration and pulling out her own phone. “Hold on a second, I've got the address saved here. What's the number of the person you're in a call with? I'll send it to them.”
Gael gave Debra the number, and then told Artemis, “It'll show up on your phone in a moment.”
The line went dead, seemingly because Artemis had no idea he was supposed to say goodbye first, and Gael was left alone between Zinerva and Debra on a cramped spacecraft once more.
“So...” Debra started. “I was looking at our dossiers on you, and it says that sometimes you cut your palms. Does that have anything to do with it?”
“Yes, actually” Gael replied unexpectedly. “Blood is very important. It's why the devil mostly approached women way back in the day. Having PMS while being a demonologist is like having a few days with a font of infinite power at your disposal.”
Debra jaw dropped in astonishment. “REALLY!?”
“No, of course not” said Gael. “I just wanted to see if you'd believe it.”
“Ugh, come on, now it's just gross” said Debra.
“Hey, we've got eight more hours of me telling you everything I know about demon summoning” Gael replied encouragingly. “And then you can spend the rest of your life trying to figure out which parts were true, and which parts weren't.”
Zinerva's eyes lit up as she heard Gael's plan, and a capriciously wicked cackle suddenly escaped her. “It's beautiful!” she gushed gleefully. “She'll be trapped by her own greed for decades!”
Back in Eiffel, Artemis found a message popping up on the house phone, and so passed it to the priest.
“Every day, I thank God that I'm alive” the pr
iest said as he pulled out his own personal cellphone and began copying the information over. “And every day, he makes me earn it. This Fae lives in the city's Freak Quarter.”
“Father, that language is unbecoming of you” Sauriel chided. “What is its proper name?”
“No, it really is called the Freak Quarter” Kiki chimed in with a snicker. “The locals named it that. Most body modders have a culture of not taking themselves too seriously, and they've romanticized the Hell out of the Freak Show days from ancient times.”
“I see...” Sauriel murmured uncertainly.
“You're from heaven, right?” Kiki asked as she went over to the door and grabbed her coat. “Did you meet any former freaks in heaven?”
“Heaven does not believe in freaks” Sauriel replied stoically. “I have met people who were born with deformities, and then subsequently lived through the era of Freak Shows, though. They did often speak of their fellow 'freaks' favorably, even those they didn't get along with, if only for the sense of community they never thought they'd have.”
“Yes, spriggan-creature...” Father Jacobs chimed in uncertainly. “Why are you getting your coat?”
“I'm bored” said Kiki. “And I'm Kiki.”
“You have no summoner” said Artemis. “Death would mean-,”
“I go back to Fairyland” Kiki finished with a shrug. “So what? I'm gonna live before I die, and right now living is getting to say I helped an angel. You coming?”
“They would not take my help if I offered it” Artemis said with a frown, before sullenly turning away from the others.
“No” Sauriel said with a grimace. “That was an option when I had all of Heaven and the grace of God at my back. I'm missing one of those now, and you've proven very agreeable.”
Artemis scoffed aloud and turned back to Sauriel. “What's the matter, angel? Scared?”
“Yes” Sauriel said quickly. “I am terrified, and uncertain, but I know the wicked are about. You and I are the only ones here who were made to punish them.”