by Annie West
‘And you’re used to getting what you want?’
Abruptly she laughed, shaking her head, and his pulse faltered at the radiance of her smile. ‘Only sometimes.’
‘Yet you think you can have me for the asking?’ Indignation at her presumption clashed with raw, disconcerting lust at the thought of them together and shame at how easily she got under his skin.
She sobered. ‘I thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.’ She hesitated. ‘I know this is unconventional. But we’re old friends. I thought you’d at least hear me out.’
That was how she saw him? As an old friend? Why Tariq bridled at the idea, he refused to consider.
‘Very well. I’ll hear you out.’ He folded his arms across his chest and waited.
* * *
Samira looked at the imposing man before her. He wasn’t in a receptive mood. His crossed arms were all bunched muscles. The tendons in his neck were taut and his mouth a flat line. Even his eyes glittered a warning.
Yet still Tariq was the most breathtaking man she’d ever seen. Her stomach turned to treacle as the afternoon sun caught the solid plane of his jaw and the proud thrust of that impressive nose. She wondered how it would feel if, instead of shutting her out, he opened his arms and hauled her close into that broad chest. If he kissed her...
She blinked, suddenly light-headed.
That was not what she wanted. Sex had made a fool of her once. She refused to let that happen again. This, what she proposed now, was far more sensible.
Planting her feet more solidly, wishing she weren’t quite so dwarfed by him, Samira cleared her throat, mentally flicking through the arguments she’d prepared.
‘It’s an excellent match,’ she began, gathering herself. ‘Our countries already have so much in common. I understand your customs and history. I’m not a complete outsider. And by marrying me you’d strengthen your ties with Jazeer.’
‘Our ties with Jazeer are already strong.’
Refusing to be deflated, she kept her chin up. ‘My background speaks for itself. I was born and bred to royal rank and responsibility. I understand what’s expected of a queen and I’ve got a lifetime’s experience of public functions and diplomacy. I understand royal duty and I won’t shirk it.’
Expectantly she looked at him. Finally he nodded. ‘All useful attributes.’ He paused. ‘But others could say the same. Your own sister-in-law has adapted well to her new role, and she wasn’t born royal.’
Samira exhaled slowly. Had she really expected Tariq to agree instantly? She told herself his wariness was to be expected. He’d adored his first wife and his choice of second wife would affect not only himself but his precious boys and his country. Of course he needed to consider this from all angles.
Yet a small part of her wailed in disappointment that he viewed her so sternly, almost disapprovingly, when her own wayward impulse urged her to close the gap between them. Her very skin felt sensitised, as if longing for his touch.
Did she want him to look at her and want her? Not for her pedigree or her social attributes but for herself? Her wayward body betrayed her. Her flesh tingled as his gaze raked her and a slow, telling spiral of heat eddied low in her belly.
Samira sucked in a stunned breath, sensing danger.
She told herself it was nerves. The shock of seeing him again after all this time. The disconcerting discovery of how very...male he was.
Once the novelty wore off he’d be just as he’d always been—a friend, someone she could trust. Without trust she couldn’t bind herself to any man. Trust had been so lacking in her life, she understood how rare and valuable it was.
The thought gave her renewed energy.
‘I’ll make a good queen,’ she said firmly, locking her hands together. ‘Building my business has given me a chance to step beyond royal boundaries and mix with a range of people, not just wealthy clients. It’s broadened my understanding of the world and improved my people skills.’ Now she was as at home buying a bagel on the streets of New York as she’d been at last night’s A-list gala.
Tariq didn’t say anything so she kept talking, the thread of tension wrapping tighter around her insides. ‘I’d like to continue working on a small scale, not enough to interfere with any royal duties.’ When he remained silent she angled her head higher. ‘I believe it would be a positive thing for people to see their queen with responsibilities and successes of her own.’
‘You see yourself as a role model, then?’
Samira flinched at the steely glint in his eyes and the sharp pang of shame in her belly. Tariq knew as well as she that her past was tainted by that one, awful mistake she’d made. A mistake that would haunt her all her life.
‘No one is perfect, Tariq. Young women in your country could do worse than a queen who’s human enough to have made mistakes, yet has learned from them and built something positive for herself.’
Slowly he nodded and a feather of hope brushed her skin, making her shiver with excitement. She leaned closer.
‘I’ll be a loyal wife and a devoted mother, Tariq. You needn’t worry that I’ll embarrass you by falling for another man after we’re married.’ Bile swirled in her stomach and she tasted its bitterness on her tongue. ‘I’m not my mother, for ever pining for romantic love. I learned from her mistakes, and my own.’
‘You don’t want love?’ His words were sharp, his gaze intense as he leaned forward. His raised eyebrows signalled surprise, perhaps disapproval. She guessed he was used to women falling at his feet.
Samira’s lips twisted. ‘Would I be here if I did? If my mother’s example weren’t enough, my experience with Jackson Brent cured me of any romantic ideas.’
Jackson Brent. The name no one spoke around her. The man who’d taken her dreams and her innocence and had smashed them in the cruellest way.
She read understanding in Tariq’s expression. The whole world knew the story. Samira looked away, pressing her palms to her churning stomach.
Jackson Brent, the sexy film star, had taken one look at Samira, the ridiculously inexperienced princess living away from home for the first time, and decided to have her. Samira, swept off her feet and dazzled by what she thought was love, had believed it a fairy-tale romance come true.
They’d been feted and adored by the press and the public. Until the day Jackson had been found in bed with his beautiful co-star by her vengeful husband.
Samira’s cosy world had blown apart, her dreams shattered as she’d been forced to see Jackson as he really was. Not Mr Right, but a feckless, selfish opportunist who’d played on her longing for love to get himself cheap sex and great publicity.
Guessing at her anguish, the press had hounded Samira to the verge of a breakdown—intruding on her privacy, rummaging through her trash, interviewing her friends and turning her heartbreak into fodder for the masses. Till her brother and the woman who’d later become her sister-in-law had helped her get back on her feet, stronger and determined to put the past behind her.
Was it any wonder, after the misery of a childhood watching her parents’ marriage teeter from one crisis to another, that she’d finally come to her senses and seen she wasn’t cut out for romance? Like her mother, she couldn’t trust herself to make the right choice when her heart was involved.
‘Samira?’
She turned back, her hands falling to her sides as she registered the concern on Tariq’s features.
Instantly she shored up her resolve, locking her knees and straightening her shoulders. She was no longer a victim. She’d dragged herself out of the dark hole of loss and grief that had almost destroyed her.
Tariq didn’t need to know those details. About the baby she’d lost before it had even been born. About the grief she carried in her very pores and always would.
Samira blinked and forced herself to concentrate.
‘If you’re worried about me doing anything scandalous to harm you or your family, don’t. My one brush with notoriety was enough.’ She might have been the innocent party in the Hollywood scandal but it didn’t feel like it, with the press ravenous for every detail.
‘You regret the relationship with Brent? You would change the past if you could?’
Samira caught her breath, her fingers threading tightly together. Tariq’s directness pulled her up short. Everyone else tiptoed around that episode in her life.
‘Oh, yes. I’d change the past if I could. Though...’ she paused, remembering that all-too-short period when she’d carried her precious baby ‘...I can’t regret all of it.’
She set her jaw, reminding herself to move on. ‘I wouldn’t suggest marriage if you were looking for a first wife. But you already have two sons. You can consider taking on a wife who doesn’t quite meet all the traditional requirements.’
‘Who isn’t a virgin, you mean?’
Samira blinked. She couldn’t recall Tariq being quite so blunt. The young man she’d known half a lifetime ago had changed since becoming monarch.
Yet she appreciated his frankness. Honesty was the best policy between them. They didn’t need misunderstandings.
‘All the world knows I once had a lover.’ She swallowed over the tight knot in her throat. ‘Just as it knows you have lovers.’
Tariq had never been short of female companionship. Since his wife had died he’d been again dubbed one of the world’s most eligible men and, according to the whispers Samira heard, there was no shortage of women on hand to ease his broken heart.
‘You’re very direct.’ His eyebrows bunched and she shrugged, refusing to apologise.
‘I thought you’d appreciate my honesty, as I appreciate yours. That’s what I’d expect in a marriage.’
‘Honesty?’
Samira took a half-step forward, drawn by the intensity of his stare.
‘Honesty and respect.’ She licked her dry lips before continuing. ‘I assumed you’d want something similar. That you wouldn’t look for love in a second wife. I thought you’d want someone capable, loyal and committed. Someone who could help raise your sons.’ Samira paused. ‘Was I wrong? Are you looking for romance?’
‘Who said I was looking for anything?’ His stare was enigmatic, giving nothing away.
Samira spread her hands. ‘You have two children under two and a country to run. Your schedule must be manic. But I know you well enough to understand you’ll want the best for your boys.’ She looked straight into his eyes and was rewarded with the slightest of nods.
‘I’m sure you’ve hired the best staff available to help with them.’ Again that infinitesimal nod. ‘But no nanny can replace a caring mother. A mother who’s committed to being there for them all their lives.’
She drew in a quick breath, knowing her breathing was too shallow, her heart racing, now they came to the crux of it all: the reason she’d braved this almost-stranger and proposed marriage.
‘I’ve always loved children; you know that, Tariq.’ Even in her teens she’d taken every opportunity to be with youngsters, getting into trouble for spending too much time playing with the servants’ babies in parts of the palace princesses weren’t supposed to know existed. ‘I’d make a good mother. You can rely on me.’
* * *
Tariq wondered if Samira had any idea how appealing she looked, her dark-honey gaze earnest, her expression serious, her hands clasped in unconscious supplication before her.
Unconscious?
Could any woman so beautiful not be aware of her allure?
Yet Samira wore a conservative suit, not a low-cut dress. Her make-up was barely there, her hair neatly up at the back of her head.
And he knew an overwhelming urge to see her panting and flushed, her rich, dark hair in lush abandon around her shoulders, her body bare and inviting.
Desire hammered him, turning muscle and soft tissue into beaten metal, hard and uncompromising. His lungs bellowed as he hauled in oxygen, fighting for control.
The casual way she’d spoken of his lovers, about her own, tugged at something primitive and deep-seated inside him. Tariq knew if ever he possessed Samira he wouldn’t share her with anyone else.
And her wistful expression when she’d spoken of her ex-lover, admitting she didn’t regret the relationship, even after he’d betrayed her so brutally... Tariq wanted to twist the guy’s neck in his bare hands! Brent hadn’t deserved her.
He shoved his hands in his trouser pockets. What was he thinking?
Shame smote him, the knowledge that Samira had always been his weakness, even when his loyalties had lain elsewhere. The last thing he needed was to give in to this ancient folly. Besides, saddling himself with a wife was one complication he didn’t need.
Yet she was right. A roster of nannies was no long-term solution for his boys. He wanted the best for them. Jasmin had wanted that too and he’d promised her before she’d died...
He scraped the back of his neck with one hand, feeling the iron tension there. Hell! He’d imagined this was some simple social visit from Samira since they were in Paris for the same event. He hadn’t expected her to trawl every one of his ‘no go’ subjects.
‘You’ve spoken about what I’d get out of marriage. But you haven’t mentioned why you’re so eager for it. Why do you want this?’ Tariq didn’t know why he was asking. It wasn’t going to happen.
But as he surveyed her delicately flushed cheeks, her sinuous body and the long, taut outline of her thighs beneath that pencil skirt, he realised why he kept the conversation going. Because, once conjured, he couldn’t erase the image of Samira, abandoned and sexy, in his bed.
Years ago he’d walked away from the teenage Samira because she’d been far too young and he’d been too honourable to act on his desire. That decision had haunted him. The fantasy perfection of ‘if only’ had overshadowed too many relationships.
But that Samira was gone. She was an experienced woman now, sensual and provocative in ways that spoke directly to his libido.
For long moments Samira said nothing. Her very stillness conveyed tension, heightening his curiosity. Finally she spoke, her gaze settling on a point near his collarbone.
‘I want a family.’
‘You have family. Your brother and his wife.’ But, even as the words emerged, he realised his mistake.
‘My own family.’ Her words confirmed it.
Tariq frowned. ‘But why me? Why us?’
He had no false modesty. Acquiring lovers had never been a difficulty. His wealth and status, not to mention his power, attracted many women. But Samira hadn’t seemed interested in his royal position, except to prove she was up to the task of being his queen. And as for her being smitten... He narrowed his eyes, watching her steadfastly staring at his collar. She gave no evidence of it.
Annoyance twisted sharply in his belly. He’d grown used to fending off women, not being ignored by them.
He watched her open her lips and found himself wondering if they were as petal-soft as he imagined. The direction of his thoughts sharpened his voice.
‘There must be plenty of eligible men. Why not find one you fancy and start a family together? Why come to me?’
Her mouth tightened and she raised her eyes. For an instant he could swear he read pain in that shimmering, gold-flecked gaze. No, not pain. Anguish. Then she blinked, banishing the illusion.
‘I told you, I’m not going to be swept off my feet again. I don’t want romance.’
Looking down at Samira’s beautiful, earnest face, Tariq suddenly felt ancient, like a greybeard surveying an innocent. Was she really too young to understand that was what women did? They fell in love, even if they then lived to regret it. It was in their nature. The heavy thud of his heart again
st his ribs tolled out the sum of such regrets. He’d grown intimately acquainted with them.
‘But taking on someone who already has children—’ The expression on her face stopped him midsentence. ‘Samira?’
She looked down at her hands. They were clenched together so hard the knuckles whitened. When she met his eyes again, her own looked desolate.
‘I want children. I’ve always wanted them.’ She breathed deep. ‘But I can’t have any of my own.’
Something lodged in Tariq’s chest. Something heavy that impaired his breathing. He couldn’t imagine the world without his boys so he had some inkling of how bereft Samira felt.
He wanted to reach out and comfort her, pull her in to him and cuddle her, for there was no mistaking her pain. Despite the years since they’d been close, she was still the girl he’d cared for too much.
But he was older and wiser now. At thirty-seven he’d learned there were times when a woman needed her dignity rather than the comfort of an embrace. When nothing he could do would ease the pain.
Memory stabbed hard, slicing through his ribs, tearing at his conscience. Jasmin...
‘You see now why I suggested marriage.’
Her quiet words dragged Tariq from a haze of memory and regret. He forced himself to focus.
‘You proposed marriage because you want my boys?’ Instantly his protective instincts were aroused.
‘Don’t sound so fierce, Tariq.’ She even managed a tiny smile. The sight of it and the sadness in her eyes squeezed his chest. ‘I don’t want to take them from you.’
She took a step forward, then another, and a waft of light scent filled his nostrils: warm cinnamon and sugar, innocently sweet yet improbably alluring.
‘I want to share them with you, look after them, grow to love them and support them.’
‘You want to marry me for my children?’ His mouth firmed. After a lifetime being chased by women, his pride smarted. Was anything designed to puncture a man’s ego as much as that?
Did she have any idea of the insult she offered?