by Annie West
He’d told himself it was just as well. Yesterday he’d found himself arranging to meet her again, driven by the need to prevent her propositioning someone else.
The thought of her with another man, offering to marry him, even with that crazy ‘no sex’ stipulation, gouged a chasm through his belly.
He wasn’t her keeper.
He didn’t want a wife. The thought of replacing Jasmin with Samira made him break out in a sweat. He might lust after her but how could he sign up to another marriage?
Yet for twenty-six hours he’d imagined little else. Her saner argument for marriage—to provide a loving, stable environment for his boys—made sense. Too much sense.
Tariq had put off for too long the need to find a mother for the twins. A warm, gentle woman who’d nurture them. A caring woman who’d love them as Jasmin would have.
A shiver scudded down his spine and the old blackness fringed his vision.
His boys deserved a mother. Already he realised he had to provide more than he could now with his taxing schedule. His wasn’t a job he could set aside when family commitments demanded. His country, his people, relied on him.
Now, standing in the shadow of the half-open door, he confronted the most compelling reason yet for action—their happiness. He’d thought Samira had left hours before, but no, she was there, to the delight of his boys.
At the centre of the room his sons sat astride plush cushions filched from the lounge, enthusiastically jogging up and down to the rhythm of Samira’s lilting voice. She had a clear contralto voice that tugged at long-forgotten memories of early childhood.
She sang a made-up song about Adil and Risay riding, one on a camel and one on a horse. Each time the boys heard their names they giggled and jogged faster, urging on their imaginary mounts, till at last the song ended.
With a sigh Samira sank back on the carpet, as if exhausted. Instantly the toddlers scrambled off their cushions and across to her. Adil snuggled up at her side and her arm automatically wrapped around him. Risay, more energetic, climbed onto her legs, ready for another ride. Instead of scolding, she laughed before scooping him close.
The three of them lay there. His boys and Samira.
She wore a dress the colour of amethyst that complemented the warm tone of her skin. The flaring skirt with its silky sheen looked indulgently feminine and expensive but there was a dark smear near the waist and a matching mark on her cheek. She’d kicked off her shoes. Her bare feet and legs looked tantalisingly sexy.
Something somersaulted in Tariq’s chest as he took in the three of them, his precious sons and the woman who cared less for her expensive clothes than she did for them.
In the far corner of the room Sofia, the nanny, folded clothes, her back turned. The fact that the boys’ fierce protector, who’d been with them since the day they’d lost their mother, was relaxed enough not to watch the newcomer like a hawk, told him everything he needed to know. Samira and the boys had clearly bonded.
All that remained was to decide how he felt about that.
For somehow in the last twenty-six hours, her proposal had turned from outrageous to possible.
* * *
Samira sighed and cuddled them close, breathing in the smell of baby powder and little boys.
Even if Tariq refused her, these couple of hours had been wonderful. The boys were a delight.
Her heart felt lighter, not just because she’d spent time with two such adorable toddlers but because she’d contributed, helping out while Sofia had packed, keeping the boys constructively amused.
Celeste would tell her she contributed with her fashion designs and charity donations. But there was something innately satisfying about the simple act of caring for this little family.
She breathed deep, knowing it was time to move. The boys were ready for bed and the longer she stayed the harder it would be to leave. What had begun as a simple invitation to wait for Tariq and meet his boys in the meantime had turned into something far more complex, at least for her eager heart.
She opened her eyes to find Tariq standing over her. He didn’t smile and his look was intent, as if he saw right inside her, to longings and regrets she kept strictly private. She felt caught out, at a disadvantage sprawled on the floor, her unguarded emotions too close to the surface.
Abruptly her heart leapt in her breast. Her pulse fluttered as he bent, his hands briefly brushing her as he scooped up Adil, now fast asleep, then left the room with the nanny following.
The gleam in Tariq’s clear green gaze unravelled something within her. Something she didn’t want to feel. It made her feel too vulnerable. She was still grappling with that, her breath coming too fast, when he returned, lifting a sleepy Risay and taking him to the bedroom.
Quickly she sat up, twisting up her hair into some semblance of order, frantically scanning the floor for her shoes.
‘I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long.’ Tariq’s low voice came while she was on her hands and knees, peering under a settee.
Abruptly she sat back, feeling flushed and dishevelled, especially when Tariq looked just as debonair as ever. A lot of big men couldn’t pull that off, appearing either too lean and lanky or so heavy-set you knew they’d run to fat with age. By contrast Tariq was perfectly proportioned and frighteningly attractive.
Samira’s heartbeat skidded into a kick start. It was as well he hadn’t agreed to marry her—that was clear from his carefully neutral expression. She didn’t like the way her body behaved when he was around.
Samira scrambled to her feet, brushing down her dress, noticing for the first time sticky patches where the boys had shared their food.
‘No doubt you had more important business to attend to.’ More important than declining her proposal. Her mouth tightened.
Only sheer doggedness had made her wait despite the lengthy delay. She was determined to make him say the words to her face, despite the temptation to avoid further embarrassment and slink away. She tilted her chin. She was a princess of Jazeer. She would see this through.
‘You don’t understand.’
‘There’s no need to explain.’ He’d already made his position clear. ‘I understand perfectly.’
‘There’s a crisis in Al Sarath. I’ve been dealing with it long-distance.’
Samira froze. ‘A crisis?’
‘One of the provinces has been hit by severe flash flooding in the mountain ravines. It’s wiped away whole villages.’
Samira sucked in her breath, indignation fading as the import of his words hit. The mountain provinces were the poorest in his country. She remembered adobe houses perched in arid gullies so steep they became death traps on the rare occasions distant mountain rains brought unaccustomed water.
‘I’m so sorry.’ Guilt pierced at her petty indignation. No wonder he was late! ‘You must be wishing you were there.’
He nodded, his expression sombre. ‘We fly out soon. I need to be on the ground.’
‘Then I won’t keep you.’ Relief filled her as she spied her shoes beneath a jumble of wooden blocks.
‘You don’t want to hear my decision?’
His voice stopped her as she bent, reaching for her discarded heels. Slowly she straightened. There was no chance Tariq would change his mind. He’d been dead set against the idea, even outraged. And now... She looked up into a penetrating stare that gave nothing away. He didn’t look like a man about to grant her wish.
He was so stern, as if she represented a problem he had to tackle.
Again she wondered if Tariq would go behind her back to her brother, warning him she was going off the rails.
The idea almost made her smile. Asim had worried about her for too long—not because she was wildly kicking over the traces, but because she buried herself in her work instead of ‘embracing life’. She knew
he secretly feared she hadn’t fully recovered from what had happened four years before. Surely propositioning his best friend counted as embracing life?
‘Of course I want to hear. That’s why I’m here.’ But she refused to feel even a scintilla of hope. He’d given her no encouragement, not even a smile.
She almost began to be thankful. It had been a lunatic idea. Imagine her and Tariq...
He closed the space between them with one long stride, making her more aware than ever of their physical differences. Barefoot, she scarcely came up to his shoulder.
One large, warm hand closed around hers, lifting it high. Tariq bent his head, the light catching the blue-black sheen of his thick hair. Samira felt the press of surprisingly soft lips on the back of her hand as he made a courtly gesture that sent a shocking thrill right through her body.
Her breath was a sudden hiss, her lungs pumping like bellows as he lifted his eyes to hers. This time his expression wasn’t grim or guarded. It was full of anticipation.
‘You honour me greatly with your proposal, Princess Samira.’ He smiled and the world tilted around them. ‘I accept with pleasure. We’ll be married as soon as it can be arranged.’
CHAPTER FOUR
‘AT LAST! AFTER five days of celebrating we finally get to the wedding. These royal events are a real test of stamina.’
Samira looked at her sister-in-law, Jacqui, lounging on a couch, taking a glossy cherry from a silver bowl.
‘How can you eat?’ Samira’s stomach was performing a nervous twist and dip that would have done an Olympic diver proud.
She had to call on all her years of training to sit still, rather than shift edgily and risk smearing the intricate henna patterns being painted on her hands and feet. Two ladies-in-waiting sat before her, creating the traditional designs.
Bridal designs.
For the first time, today, the wedding became real.
The official functions so far had been comfortingly familiar, like untold numbers of royal celebrations she’d attended in the past. Why that should be comforting, Samira didn’t know. This marriage was her idea. It would be wonderful for all of them: her, Tariq and the boys.
Yet suddenly today she felt ridiculously wobbly.
Bridal nerves were normal, she assured herself. Even if she wasn’t a bride in the usual sense.
Most brides looked forward to a night in their new husband’s arms.
Her insides cramped and the skin at her nape prickled. Samira’s brain seized at the thought of complicating this carefully planned arrangement with sex. Already she felt she walked a knife edge. Her unbidden physical awareness of Tariq was a constant undercurrent. As if there was a disconnect between her mind, that knew intimacy would be a mistake, and her body, that trembled at his touch.
‘You think I should stop eating because of the upcoming banquet?’ Jacqui shook her tawny head ruefully. ‘I never used to have much of an appetite.’ Her other hand slipped to the baby bump barely visible beneath her aquamarine top. ‘But I’ve never been so hungry.’
‘Except last time you were pregnant.’
‘You’re right. I was ravenous then too.’ Jacqui laughed and Samira smiled. Jacqui distracted her from the anxiety that had somehow grown to a peak of apprehension.
‘Pregnancy suits you. You really are glowing.’ Samira smiled, feeling only the tiniest flicker of envy. She’d come to terms with her barrenness and couldn’t begrudge another woman such happiness. Instead she basked in familiar warmth at the thought of her brother’s family. Jacqui was the sister she’d never had, loving and supportive. She almost made Samira wish she could have what Jacqui had: a marriage based on love.
But that wasn’t for her. She knew too well she wasn’t cut out for that.
There was a bustle as her attendants rose and all four women admired the results. Samira’s hands, wrists, feet and ankles were works of art, covered in ancient designs that proclaimed her royal lineage as well as talismans of good fortune, happiness and fertility.
She swallowed, ignoring a pang of regret. There was no sense pining over what could never be. She was the luckiest of women, about to acquire a wonderful husband she could respect and trust and two delightful sons. She could ask for nothing more.
Samira thanked the women warmly. When they’d left, Jacqui put aside the bowl of cherries and sat up.
‘Now, do you want to tell me what’s wrong?’
‘Wrong?’ Samira stared. ‘Nothing. Tariq has done everything to make the celebrations a huge success. And the ceremony this afternoon—’
‘The celebrations. The ceremony.’ Jacqui waved her hand dismissively. ‘They’re spectacular and the whole country is enjoying them.’ She leaned closer, her gaze appraising. ‘But I look at you and I don’t see a bride.’
‘You don’t?’ Samira stared at the wedding patterns staining her skin, then across to the table littered with ornate jewellery. Gold, rubies and huge antique pearls caught the light. On the other side of the room hung her bridal gown, the sumptuous cloth of gold shimmering.
Jacqui followed her gaze. ‘The trappings are there, but something is missing.’ There was concern in her eyes. ‘You don’t look like a woman in love.’
Samira flinched, then made herself smile. She was making the best of her life, choosing hope over regret instead of locking herself away to fret over what she’d lost. She would build something positive and make a useful contribution, helping to raise a family.
She was being strong.
And, if the best she could hope to achieve didn’t include romantic love, that suited her. She was far better without that.
‘Not all brides are in love, Jacqui. Arranged marriages are common, especially between royals.’
‘I know, I know. Asim said the same.’
Samira tensed. Jacqui had discussed this with Asim? She hated that she’d been the subject of such discussion, even though she knew it was because they cared for her. They’d been there when she’d needed them in her darkest hours. But she was fine now.
‘It’s just that I want you to have what I have, Samira.’ Jacqui looked so earnest. ‘I want you to be happy, to be loved and in love.’
‘Thank you.’ She reached out and touched Jacqui’s arm. ‘But I am happy. This is exactly what I want.’
Still her sister-in-law frowned.
‘Not everyone wants to fall in love. Asim must have told you about our parents.’
Solemnly Jacqui nodded. ‘They were unhappy.’
Samira’s huff of laughter was bitter. ‘They were miserable and they made life hell for us too. They were either so in love no one else mattered, or they were fighting like wild cats, doing anything to score a point over the other, even using us in their battles.’ She looked down to find herself pleating the fine fabric of her skirt. Her chest tightened.
‘Your parents were volatile and self-indulgent.’ Jacqui’s voice penetrated the memories. ‘Love needn’t be like that.’
‘I know and I can’t tell you how happy I am for you and Asim.’ Samira paused. ‘But I don’t want love. I tried that and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I’m too much like my mother. I was swept off my feet by romantic dreams, blindly putting my trust in someone completely wrong for me.’
‘Jackson Brent is a louse,’ Jacqui growled. ‘You can’t blame yourself.’
Samira sat back in her chair, warmth filling her at her sister-in-law’s instant support.
‘I do blame myself. I wasn’t a child. I made the decision to throw everything over, all I’d worked for and dreamed of, to be with him. I fooled myself into believing in him and I was utterly, devastatingly wrong.’ Her palm crept across her belly as if to prevent the clenching pain, a phantom memory from four years ago.
‘One mistake...’
‘That was enough
. What if I made the same mistake again? I can’t go through that again, Jacqui, I just can’t.’ Samira ducked her head, ashamed at the welling distress that filled her even after all this time. She drew a calming breath. ‘I’m too like my mother. I let passion override judgement and I paid the price. But unlike her I won’t make the mistake of staying on that merry-go-round.’
‘And Tariq knows this?’
‘Of course he knows.’ Samira smiled, her confidence returning. ‘Don’t look so worried. This marriage is everything I want.’
* * *
‘Samira.’ Her name on Tariq’s tongue made her blink. It sounded...different. The noise of the wedding banquet faded as she met his eyes.
Or was it she who was different? Hours spent at his side through the wedding ceremony and celebration had left her unaccountably on edge. She felt his presence with every cell of her body.
Applause filled the feasting hall as he took her hand and stood, drawing her up. He was resplendent in robes as white as the distant snow-capped peaks. His jaw was lean and hard, a study in power, his eyes a glint of cool green as he looked down at her and slowly smiled.
Instantly heat shimmered under her skin, a heat that intensified when his warm fingers slid against hers, enfolding them completely. Sensation trickled through her from her tight lungs, meandering all the way down through her belly to a single pulse point between her legs.
She inhaled sharply, eyes widening as he held her gaze. There was something different about Tariq. Something she couldn’t identify.
‘My queen,’ he said in a voice barely above a whisper, yet it amplified in her ears, blotting out the sound of their guests. Or perhaps that was the thud of her pulse.
‘Your Highness.’ She dipped her gaze in acknowledgement. She owed him her loyalty as her new sovereign.
His fingers tightened around hers, making her look up.
‘Your husband.’ His nostrils flared as if drawing in her scent and shock buffeted her. Tariq looked so intent, so close, his tall frame blocking out everything else. Samira felt a heavy throb of anticipation deep inside as his head lowered purposefully towards hers.