Lola sputtered and choked on her first swallow. It tasted like medicine. Rudolfo gave her a lesson and she tried again—because he really wanted her to like it. Once she understood how to sip the drink she was surprised that she was able to enjoy the sweetness.
“Wow! The more I drink the better it tastes.”
Rudolfo laughed. “That’s the idea. Here, have one more.”
“I really need to get back to work.”
“Why? No one works at this time of day. There’s no one in the distillery. It’s siesta time.”
“I always work through siesta. Papa says it’s the most productive time because there are no interruptions.”
Rudolfo frowned. “Does he treat you worse than he treats the lowest of his men? Everyone takes siesta.”
“No. That’s not it. It’s just that…it’s just that…” Lola couldn’t remember what she had been meaning to say. “Anyway, I must go now.” She pushed back her chair and got up to leave. The room swayed around her, and she grabbed the back of the chair to steady herself.
“Are you all right?” asked Rudolfo.
“I’m just a bit dizzy.”
“Here,” said Rudolfo, taking her elbow, “perhaps you should lie down for a minute.” He guided her toward the bed in the corner of the room. “You’ll feel better in a minute or two.” Lola nodded and accepted his help gratefully. She lay down and closed her eyes—just for a minute.
~ ~ ~
Lola heard Rudolfo’s voice murmuring softly very close to her, his breath hot on her neck. The dream was so nice she kept her eyes closed. It did not take many seconds for her to remember where she was and realize it wasn’t a dream at all. Her first thought was panic that she’d fallen asleep, but she heard her name whispered and curiosity kept her frozen in place with her eyes closed.
“Dear sweet Lola, how I wish we could be together like this always. You’re so beautiful and sweet.” His hand was slowly stroking her hair. “Together we could run the distillery and live here in our own little nest, being together forever. What a wonderful life we could have.”
The picture that Rudolfo painted hung in Lola’s mind like a haven of perfection. She moaned softly, pretending to be coming awake slowly. She sat up suddenly.
“Oh, no. I must have fallen asleep.” Lola had no need to feign panic and fear as she realized the very real possibility of discovery. Any thoughts she may have had of being a modern woman dissipated at the thought of her father’s reaction.
“Don’t worry,” Rudolfo reassured her, “you only dozed for a few minutes. It’s siesta time; the distillery is empty. Then he drew in his breath sharply and jumped up.
“Oh, Miss Lola, whatever must you think of me? I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to be forward. I just got overcome with the time of day and couldn’t resist having a bit of a rest. Please forgive me.”
Lola smiled in spite of her fears. Rudolfo looked so contrite and upset—and over what? That he’d felt a bit sleepy? After all, there was only one place to lie down in the tiny apartment. What else could he do? She stood and tried to smooth out her dress. Almost involuntarily she reached her hand up to her hair where she remembered him stroking. She tried to smooth out her long chestnut hair.
Rudolfo went to a small box sitting on a shelf and withdrew a hairbrush. He offered it to Lola, almost shyly. “Perhaps this will help?”
“Ooh.” Lola took the silver brush, exquisitely engraved and inlaid with mother-of-pearl. She’d never seen a brush like it. She removed a long dark hair as she turned the brush over in admiration. “Where did you get such a beautiful lady’s hairbrush?”
“It belonged to my mother.” Rudolfo looked down at his toes. “I always hoped I might someday find someone I’d like to see using it.”
Lola felt her cheeks burning and she could hardly breathe. She was being courted by a man of her choosing. She was a modern woman after all! Lola thought she floated down the stairs and into her office. She spent the rest of the afternoon with a smile on her face. Even dining that night with her father and stepmother could not dampen her mood, although she was careful to keep her eyes lowered and to speak only when spoken to.
The days passed in a haze of happiness for Lola. She and Rudolfo shared many glasses of guava brandy, and soon confessed their love to each other. She quickly learned that even when there were men in the distillery over the siesta time, they paid no attention to her movements.
One day she noticed that Rudolfo was distracted. He didn’t gaze soulfully into her eyes, or even answer when she spoke to him. “What’s the matter? Is something wrong in the distillery? Did you get bad news from your family?”
“No. It’s nothing like that.”
“What is it?”
“I’m not sure I can talk to you about it. I know you say you love me, but…”
Lola pleaded for many minutes and promised not to get angry or upset, before Rudolfo reluctantly agreed to tell her what worried him.
“I love you just the way you are, but I’m worried. What if your love is the love of a little girl playing with dolls? How can I be sure you can love me with the love of a woman?”
“What does size have to do with it? I’m almost fourteen years old.”
“That’s what worries me. Fourteen is still very young. I’m not playing games. I want to marry a woman who can be a true wife—not a little girl playing at love.”
How could he doubt her? How could he think she was just playing? She hadn’t played with her dolls for ages, even though they still sat on her bed during the day. “Of course I love you as a woman loves a man. I wish us to be wed, and I thought that was your wish as well.”
“I do love you, but my doubts keep me awake at night. I want to ask your father for your hand, but if you’re not yet a woman…” He took a breath before plunging into the next sentence. “It would be a mistake to trap you into a commitment before you’re mature enough to know your own mind. Dearest Lola, I’ve tried to dispel my doubts but I can’t. You’re the only one who can erase them and put me at ease. You must show me that you can love me as a wife loves a husband.”
“How could you even suggest such a thing? If you love me you wouldn’t want my virtue and reputation to be ruined!”
Rudolfo gave a short laugh. “Strictly speaking, we have already lain together.”
Lola gasped in shock. “You know we didn’t… I mean you know nothing…” She was so hurt and confused that she couldn’t even think the words she should be saying.
“Do you really think anyone would believe that? Your father, for instance?”
Lola was furious. She stomped out of his apartment and ran to the house with tears streaming down her face.
Rosa opened the door for the tearful girl. Lola forestalled her questions by saying she had a sick headache from the heat. She needed to lie down for a bit with a cool cloth on her head—and could Rosa please tell Pilar that she would not be coming down for the evening meal.
Lola lay on her bed feeling very sorry for herself. It did not take long for her to be consumed by fear that she’d lost Rudolfo forever. She’d never felt more alone and forlorn. By evening Lola had convinced herself that Rudolfo’s request was reasonable. He deserved to go into a marriage without any doubts. Since they were to be wed soon anyway, what harm could it do?
The next morning Lola was startled to find Rudolfo in her office when she arrived. He shut the door behind her, and apologized with such an expression of desolation that even if Lola hadn’t forgiven him the night before, she would have done so immediately when she saw how sorry he was.
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said, throwing herself into his arms. “You have every right to know that I’m truly a woman before you ask for my hand.” She gave him a kiss. “As much as I’d like to show you how sincere I am right this very minute,” she said, “we both have work to do. You must get out to the fields before Papa thinks you’re not doing your job.” He nodded and released her, promising to be back for lunch and a
very special siesta time. Lola gave him a playful shove out the door. Her hands were shaking with fear and anticipation as she pulled the ledger books out of the drawers. It took all of her will and concentration to get through the morning. When the whistle blew releasing the workers for the midday break, she thought she’d never heard a more beautiful sound.
Lola was trembling all over by the time she mounted the stairs to Rudolfo’s apartment. She had only the vaguest idea of what to expect.
“What if something happens?” she asked with trembling lips.
“Of course something will happen, dearest,” Rudolfo reassured her. “Something wonderful will happen between two people in love.”
She shook her head. That wasn’t what she meant, but she had trouble saying what was on her mind. “I mean something else.” Rudolfo seemed unable or unwilling to understand her meaning. Finally she put her lips very near his ear and whispered fearfully, “I mean isn’t this how… what if we…maybe…” She just couldn’t choke out the words. She took a deep breath. Ignoring the heat in her cheeks, she closed her eyes tightly and whispered, “Baby.”
Rudolfo laughed and hugged her tightly to him. Then he swept her up and walked over to the bed with her in his arms. “Now what would be so terrible about that? Your father would have to consent to our marriage—and sooner rather than later.”
Thus reassured, Lola allowed herself to be comforted and then tenderly instructed and initiated into the intimacies of lovemaking.
“It’ll get better as you lose your fear,” he promised, kissing her neck and caressing her cheek as he lovingly brushed her hair. She was still very nervous as she prepared to return to work. Later that evening she examined herself closely in her mirror. Yes, there was a difference; that was definitely the face of a woman fulfilled. She smiled at her reflection, surprised no one else had noticed.
The days passed once again in a routine of idyllic love during siesta time. She grew to appreciate Rudolfo’s attentions more and more. It was hard to act properly formal when their paths met in front of other people at the distillery. The hardest part was the need to keep their love a closely guarded secret from everyone, when she wanted to shout it from the rooftop. For once she was grateful for the new distance between herself and Enriqueta. It still saddened her to sit across from Enriqueta at meals, but at least it simplified the secret-keeping.
Every evening was depressingly similar. Jacoba spent most of the dinner hour complaining about the servants and how hard it was to make them do their jobs and how difficult it was to run the household on so little money. Her father had long since stopped arguing that she had no need for money. It never satisfied Jacoba that she only needed to ask for something, and her husband would get it for her—she wanted the cash. Jacoba should know better. Women managed the servants and the children; the men managed the money. That was the natural way of things. Once her father had stopped arguing, he stopped listening and merely drank more with his meals. When the meal was over, he would go into his library to smoke and drink until he went to bed.
The unhappy house didn’t even feel like home anymore. Pilar never smiled and Rosa looked thin and tired. Now that Enriqueta had grown so distant, the only thing that made life worth living was Rudolfo. Lola’s sadness melted away and a smile lit her face as she thought of Rudolfo again. He was so happy with their new love.
As the days grew into weeks, Lola began to ask Rudolfo when he was going to ask her father for her hand. Every time she asked, he had the same answer.
“I’m waiting for the exact right moment. You know how your father can be a bit volatile at times. I’m waiting for a moment when he’s particularly pleased with me. Don’t worry, Lola, my love, it’ll be soon, I promise.” He held her close and told her how much he loved her. Very soon now Rudolfo would take her away from this house that no longer held any joy or happiness.
~ ~ ~
“Lola, may I come in?” Enriqueta was standing in the doorway.
Lola looked up from the tablecloth she was edging and ran to her sister and hugged her. “I’ve missed you so much.” She grabbed Enriqueta’s hand and pulled her toward the wicker settee on the verandah. She wanted to tell Enriqueta all about what was happening with Rudolfo, but she could see that Enriqueta had something to say, so she contented herself with holding her hand and trying to look attentive.
“I know I’ve been a horrid sister these past months, but I had reasons. I can’t tell you about it yet, but you’ll find out everything this evening. Can you promise not to pester me for one more day?”
Lola nodded. She’d promise anything if it meant having her sister as a friend once more. Anyway, it was just for today—however long that might seem to her.
“In the meantime, I need your help. Something wonderful is going to happen this evening, and I want to look my best. I want to wear my pink dress to dinner, but it’s too small for me and I need you to help me let it out.” Enriqueta’s eyes were shining, and her face almost glowed as she spoke.
“What’s going to happen?”
“That’s the surprise—and the reason I’ve been so secretive. It’s been very hard, and I do want to tell you, but I promised not to say anything until this evening. I’m so excited!” Enriqueta jumped up and pulled Lola with her. “Come and help me with my dress. Please, please. Just be patient for a few more hours, and you’ll see.”
Lola soon caught Enriqueta’s excitement, and the two girls busied themselves discussing the best way to let out the pink dress. They giggled happily as they bumped heads and hands while trying to work on the same dress at the same time. Lola was ecstatic to have Enriqueta to brighten her life again. She decided that since Enriqueta was so excited about the evening event she’d wait to share her special news tomorrow. This must be Enriqueta’s day.
“Lola.” The laughter died on the girls’ lips as Jacoba’s strident voice was followed by the sound of her approaching footsteps. “Have you finished that tablecloth yet?”
“No, I’ve been helping Enriqueta.” Lola heard her own voice quiver with fear as Jacoba appeared in the doorway. To her surprise, Jacoba did not answer. Instead, she stared at Enriqueta standing in the pink dress with the side seams ripped open. Jacoba’s mouth opened; she started to speak, but stopped and clamped her mouth shut, pursing her lips together. Her eyes widened and then narrowed as she spun on her heel, and the girls heard her footsteps receding.
“What was that all about?” asked Lola.
“I don’t know, but please promise you’ll stay with me every minute today.” Enriqueta’s face now appeared pale and frightened. The girls were subdued as they went back to work. It was almost time to dine before they were satisfied.
“How do I look?” Enriqueta had regained the excited flush, and the pink dress was the perfect complement to her dark hair and creamy white complexion.
“Lovely.”
“Señorita Enriqueta.” The two girls looked up in surprise to see Rosa at the door. “Your father wants to see you in the library—now.”
“I’m coming, Rosa. I’m coming.” Enriqueta looked radiant as she grabbed Lola’s hand. “Please come with me, Lola. I want you to share my happiness.” Lola hurried to keep up with her sister who fairly flew along in her excitement.
When Enriqueta stopped short at the library door, Lola almost ran into her. Not wanting to miss anything, she edged past her sister and slipped into a chair by the door, thankful that the only light came from a lamp on the desk. Her father and Jacoba were staring intently at Enriqueta. Jacoba had a cruel smile on her face; their father was frowning. From Enriqueta’s stricken expression, this was not the scene she had expected.
“Enriqueta, come here,” demanded her father.
“Do you see?” said Jacoba with triumph in her voice.
“What were you doing this afternoon?”
“Altering my dress. I wanted to look my best, and my favorite dress was getting too small.”
“Why?”
“I guess I’m s
till growing. I’m barely fifteen, you know.”
Jacoba said something in a low voice that Lola could not hear. Enrique shot her a fierce look and she fell silent.
“And why did you wish to look your best tonight?” he asked in a quieter tone.
“Because…” Enriqueta began in a voice that could barely be heard as her cheeks turned bright red. Then she lifted her chin and started again, more firmly. “If you must know, because I’m expecting a gentleman to call on you this evening.”
“What gentleman?”
Lola was spellbound. So this was the big secret. She looked from her father to Enriqueta, willing her to answer. Who could it be? The girls had not met many gentlemen, and Lola couldn’t think of one who might be calling. Enriqueta was clearly floundering. She was afraid not to answer her father, yet she knew that the man was supposed to broach the subject of marriage to the family. Lola could feel her pain and indecision—even without seeing her hands behind her back mercilessly wringing the skirt of her dress.
“I’m waiting.” Enrique’s face darkened in anger. Jacoba arched an eyebrow.
“Rudolfo Alvarez is going to call this evening to ask for my hand in marriage.”
Lola’s insides turned to stone. Rudolfo? And Enriqueta? That wasn’t possible.
“How do you know this?” Their father’s voice took on an icy calm.
Enriqueta lifted her chin. “We’ve been visiting in the mornings for some time.”
In the mornings he’s out in the fields with Father.
“In the morning he’s supposed to be studying the books on agriculture and bookkeeping. He claims the sun gives him headaches.” There was a tinge of disgust in their father’s voice.
“He studies during siesta time.” Enriqueta smiled.
But siesta time is our time!
“But of course you had one of the servants with you.” Their father’s voice became even more icy and calm. “And why hasn’t he approached me earlier?”
It's Just Lola Page 5