Lola kept asking questions and concentrated very hard on what the doctor was saying, hoping to distract herself from what was happening to her. And then all her efforts to be brave dissolved and she started sobbing.
“Oh, no. I’m so sorry, doctor. I’ve been so good all day, and now I’ve wet myself like a little baby. How can I be a mother if...if I can’t even keep from w...wetting myself?” Pain enveloped her once more and she wailed from pain and embarrassment.
“Lola, calm down. You haven’t wet yourself. This is just the baby breaking through to the outside. It’s the water the baby floats in before being born. This means it’s almost over.”
The pain was unendurable—then it got worse. A small corner of her mind seemed to detach and watch from a distance, while the rest retreated into some primitive state that she no longer controlled. She gasped for breath and clutched at the edges of her pallet as her body pushed and animal-like cries rose from her throat.
The doctor’s voice floated around the edge of reason and thought. “That’s good, Lola. Push hard. You’re doing a good job.” Like she could stop pushing hard; it was her body acting alone.
The small part of her that remained sane watched in horror as the doctor took an instrument of torture out of his bag. Her body thrashed in panic and gave one final effort that took all of her remaining strength and forced a primal scream from her lungs. The doctor dropped his tool and reached between her legs. She welcomed his help. Shame and embarrassment had no place in this world of pain and effort.
“That’s it, Lola. I have the head. Almost done. One more push.” Exhausted, she gave a weak push.
At last she heard a small cry and the doctor’s face broke into a wide smile.
“It’s a beautiful baby girl.”
Lola smiled weakly and her eyes closed. She drifted in a fog of fatigue.
“Lola.” The doctor was talking to her. She forced her eyes open. She was so tired. “You have to be still.” What was he saying? The pain lifted the fog.
“What are you doing?”
“Putting in a few stitches.”
“I once helped stitch up a man’s head. We washed the needle and thread in aguadiente.” Lola was babbling, and she knew it. She was trying to distract herself from what the fact that the doctor was sewing her closed. What? “You’re sewing me closed?” She didn’t know whether to panic or be relieved. “No more babies?”
“I’m only sewing the part that tore. You’re very lucky you’re so young, and your bones still move. Don’t worry, you can have more babies, and it should be a little easier after the first one.” Relief flooded Lola. She suddenly hungered for a home with a loving husband and a houseful of children.
Auntie came in and cleaned away the soiled linens. She helped Lola into clean clothes and the doctor returned. He talked to Lola about how to care for herself and the baby so they would both be healthy.
“Thank you for helping Estela into the world and for putting up with my ignorance. Is there any way I can learn more about birthing?” The doctor gave her a surprised look.
“If you come to my office, I’ll show you some books. We can talk about it then.”
Lola lay back with Estela nestled in the crook of her arm. Within seconds they were both asleep.
VIII. June 1908: Lola Age 14
Lola looked down at the infant beside her. Estela chose that moment to lift a tiny fist in the air and her face crumpled into a crying position, but the noise sounded more like a cough than a cry. Lola lifted her into her arms and tried clumsily to feed her.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” said Enriqueta with a laugh. “Look what I did while you were busy birthing.”
Lola tore her eyes away from her baby to look at what Enriqueta was showing her. It was a dark blue gored skirt and a white blouse. “I knew she’d come back. I could see it in her eyes. She really wanted a wonderful dress for once in her life. I just didn’t know if she’d stick with that horrid bustle or not. Is it finished?”
“The skirt’s finished, but I want to embroider something special on the blouse. I don’t know what you said to her while I was nursing Blanca, but she wants the suit you sketched.”
Lola gazed at Estela and watched the delicate eyelids close. “She’s asleep already.”
“She’ll wake up again soon. But now she’s asleep so help me with the jacket.”
Lola thought she might burst from the love she felt for her baby. She ran her finger across the silken wisps of hair, over the tiny almost translucent ear, and down to the warm softness of the little pink neck. “I can’t let you grow up in this room with nothing to look forward to but sewing buttons as soon as you can hold a needle.”
Enriqueta extended her hands to take the baby. “You’re right, Lola, and this is our chance.” There was an unexpected tenderness in Enriqueta’s voice. She put Estela near Blanca and helped Lola stand. “We have to make this outfit perfect. Come on, Lola, we can only work a little before Uncle gets home.”
“You mean Auntie didn’t talk to him yet?”
“No, she’s waiting for the right time.”
Lola’s anger flared. “Why? Because he’s a bit volatile?” She realized she was shouting and lowered her voice.
“Remember what happened the last time we heard that line? That stupid cow has no intention of telling her husband. She’s keeping half the money and not telling him anything about it.”
“You may be right, but we’re getting four times what we get for a uniform. That sounded right to me because it’s twice the effort and she shouldn’t deduct for food.”
“The sewing is twice the effort, but we also measure, plan, and cut—not to mention the design.”
“Lola, you design in your sleep and draw it with your eyes still closed. This is money for our future.”
Lola looked at the little baby that depended on her for its very life. “All right. I think it’s wrong to do this without Uncle’s knowledge, but I’ll do it. We can’t keep living with people who not only cheat their workers, but cheat each other.”
Ever since Concha arrived, they had been giving her instructions and allowing her to use the old machine. She was getting quite skillful, in spite of the fact that she had to perch on the very edge of the bench to reach the foot pedal. Enriqueta had figured a way to do handwork while nursing by propping Blanca up with uniforms. Lola hated not holding Estela close while she nursed, but the need to accumulate earnings had taken on a new urgency.
A week later they showed the dress to Auntie. She assured them the neighbor would be pleased.
The next day, the neighbor tried on her new clothes and she could not have been happier. “Thank you for not letting me make a fool of myself,” she whispered as she closed Lola’s hands over some coins. She promised to tell everyone how clever the girls were, and she was sure they would have all the business they could handle.
Sure enough, the next day another woman wanted a skirt and blouse.
The day after that, Uncle brought a woman to sew on the old machine. The small room now had four workers and two babies; conversation was impossible. The new woman scowled perpetually and worked like one possessed. She glowered when one of them stopped to tend to her baby. When Lola left her machine to nurse Estela, Concha started to get up to take her place. Lola put her hand on the girl’s shoulder and kept her seated.
They were all relieved when the new woman went home for the night.
“Well,” said Enriqueta when they were once again alone in their own room, “I guess we’re not going to make a lot of money dressmaking.”
It was several minutes before Lola spoke. “We can move one machine over here, where it can’t be seen from the door. We’ll use that one in the evenings to finish the new skirt and blouse. Enriqueta, you can do the embroidery with a uniform shirt over your knees, hiding the blouse. Concha, my sweet, you just stay as quiet and helpful as you always are.” She hugged the girl and was pleased to see her respond with a slight blush.
“J
ust endure for a bit longer,” Lola said. “I have a plan. We’ve been in this room for so long our legs have forgotten how to walk. The first step in the plan is to learn to walk again. Every evening we’ll try to walk farther than the day before. By the time we finish this commission, we should be ready for step two.”
A week later she asked Uncle if he would take her to the doctor’s office when he went out to pick up uniforms from the women.
“What do you need with a doctor? You already had your baby and you look fine to me.”
“Uncle! There are things a woman does not discuss—especially with a man.”
He looked as though he was going to demand an answer, but finally said, “I’ll take you, but I’m not paying for it. You can spend your own money.”
Leaving Estela in the care of Enriqueta and Concha, Lola tucked one of the little bags of money Pilar had given them into her bodice. When Uncle let her off, he pointed out the building where the doctor’s clinic was and said if she was there at three o’clock she’d get a ride home.
Lola waited her turn to see the doctor. She’d rehearsed what she wanted to say and very quickly let him know that she was looking for work and a room to rent. “We can’t live in that room forever. I’d be happy to clean your clinic for you, or do any kind of honest work.”
The doctor regretted that he could not help her, but suggested that she talk to the shopkeepers in the neighborhood. “It may be better to wait for an hour or so when the shops are less busy.”
“Would it be possible for me to look at one of your books about birthing?”
“Are your hands clean?”
Lola was humiliated that he asked, but she held out her hands for inspection. He sat her in a corner of his office and handed her a book. “It has some good drawings of fetal development and childbirth. If I have time, I’ll come back and answer a few questions.”
“I don’t want to be in the way. I’ll sit in the waiting room.”
“You stay here. I’ll work around you.”
Lola soon became engrossed in what she was reading.
“Lola, it’s time for you to go. I’m sorry I don’t have time to answer any questions. I have too many patients waiting.”
“Would it be all right if I come back next week? There are a couple of words I didn’t understand, and I was hoping you could tell me what they mean.”
“You were reading the book?”
“Wasn’t I supposed to?”
“Oh, yes...uh...of course you can come next week.”
“Thank you, I’ll come if I can.”
Lola decided to walk down one side of the street toward the center of town until noon, asking in every shop she passed about the possibility of a job and a room to rent. At noon she would cross the street and start back toward the clinic. That would get her back just in time to meet Uncle. In the wonderful happenstance that she found something, she could come back early and just enjoy the freedom of not being cooped up in the same room with five other people.
At three o’clock Lola climbed into the wagon—exhausted, footsore, hungry, and very disheartened. That night after supper, Lola told Auntie she would have to return to the doctor in one week.
“You do look pale, but Uncle’s going to be upset if you lose another day of work.”
“Perhaps, but he’d be even more upset if I got really sick—or worse.” The next day Lola could barely walk, giving credence to her need to see the doctor. Her evening walks had not prepared her for so many hours on her feet.
The doctor seemed pleased to see her, and she spent another hour enjoying the luxury of reading and learning. This week he made some time to answer questions. All too soon, Lola had to leave the clinic and try again to find a place to live.
She decided to try a street a block over from the one she canvassed the week before. Shortly after noon she saw a reasonably dressed woman standing on a corner. Lola didn’t think her dress was tasteful, but at least the woman wasn’t a beggar and, unlike most of the people on the street, she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get somewhere.
“Excuse me,” began Lola, for what felt like the millionth time that day, “I’m new in the city and I’m looking for a room to rent. Do you know where I might find one?” To her great relief the woman smiled at her.
“Sure, why not? It’s too early to get any work anyway. Come on, I’ll show you where I live and see if they have a room.”
“Oh, thank you,” said Lola. “It’s so kind of you to do this for me.”
“Yeah. I remember when I first got here. It isn’t easy for us girls.”
As they walked the woman introduced herself as Rosita, and soon Lola was telling her a tale similar to the one Juan had devised for them. She added that they had found temporary shelter with a distant cousin, but with two babies they could no longer stay there and had to find a place for themselves.
Rosita stopped walking. “Babies? I don’t think La Señora’ll accept you. She only rents rooms to us working girls.”
“We’re working girls; we sew army uniforms.” Rosita seemed to find that funny and started walking again. “Our babies’re very good,” continued Lola. “We keep them clean and fed so they hardly ever cry. She’ll never know they’re there. How hard will it be to get clean water?”
“We’re lucky. We have a bathroom on every floor and the rent includes a big meal at midday. We have a good cook.”
It sounded like heaven to Lola.
Rosita was right. La Señora shook her head when she heard that Lola and Enriqueta had babies. Lola made an impassioned plea, describing how quiet their babies were.
“Could you just give us a chance? Just until we find another place?”
“Excuse me, Señora,” said Rosita. “Magdalena’s room isn’t making you any money while her mother is sick.”
“I have money,” said Lola quickly, bringing the pouch out of the bodice of her dress. “I can pay right now.”
La Señora made the house rules clear. They would be accepted as temporary boarders because she happened to have an empty room. Magdalena would be back and they would have to leave, unless they found another place sooner. They were not to make any noise during siesta time that might disturb the sleep of her girls, who needed their rest. In the evening they were to stay in their room and be invisible because that was when her other boarders worked.
Lola stayed behind in the kitchen that evening when Enriqueta went back to their room. She told Uncle she needed to speak with Auntie alone about what she had learned that day. She knew he would assume it was about the doctor.
Lola quietly told Auntie that they’d found a room in a ladies’ boarding house, and would be moving. She thanked her for her care during the months they had spent with them. She said they would continue sewing uniforms so Uncle would not be left without their work—only without their mouths to feed. She knew that part would be an essential element of Auntie’s talk with Uncle later in the evening.
“You were given money for two doctor birthings and you bought two sewing machines. We had one doctor birthing, so we’ll take Enriqueta’s machine with us. I’m sure Uncle’s made enough money to buy another machine, and now he’ll have the room to bring in another woman to use it.”
Auntie’s face darkened with anger. “We fed you and took care of you for months. Without us you would’ve starved. He’ll never give you a sewing machine.”
Lola rose to go to their room. “I’m writing to Juan to let him know our new location. Do you want me to tell him anything for you?”
Auntie’s face paled at the veiled threat. Written contracts were rare, and a man was only as good as his word; misusing funds given in trust was dishonorable.
Uncle’s face looked like thunder the next morning when he came into the kitchen. Lola lowered her eyes and shoveled a huge spoonful of food into her mouth. She looked up in shock as the plate was snatched off the table.
“You’ll get no more food in this house,” said Uncle. “This is the thanks I get for bri
nging two disgraced sinners into my own home? You quit on me and threaten me?”
“We aren’t quitting, Uncle—we’re just moving closer to the doctor,” said Lola with sudden inspiration. “We appreciate all you’ve done for us, and we’ll continue to sew for you, like the other women. We’re all packed so we don’t delay your trip to town this morning.”
“You expect me to take you to town? You’re the ones who want to leave. Find a carriage for hire.”
“That might take all day,” said Enriqueta with a smile. “I thought you’d want your best seamstresses working today. Besides, if you don’t take us, how will you know where to pick up the only uniforms that are always properly sewn?”
Lola saw the hesitation on Uncle’s face. “We’ll pay,” she said, knowing it would close the deal.
It took Enriqueta and Lola very little time to get settled in their third-floor room. They were overjoyed to have their own place at last, but they quickly settled down to work as Lola pointed out that they had only one machine to earn them a living.
“How did you convince Uncle to send one of his machines with us?” asked Enriqueta.
“It’s a gift for you, sister,” said Lola with a smile.
“Bah! Uncle never gave anyone anything in his life.”
“All right. Call it a bribe so we’ll continue to sew uniforms.” Lola gave a small laugh. “He has no idea that his uniforms are our only source of income.” Enriqueta returned her sister’s smile, and her foot began to work the pedal of the machine. Their work was interrupted by a knock on the door.
Rosita had come to welcome Lola and meet the rest of her family. “Wait until the girls see these adorable babies. I came to tell you that lunch is in an hour. You must bring these little morsels of sweetness down with you to meet the rest of the girls.”
Lunch was the main meal and all the residents were there. The table was heavy with platters and bowls of steaming food. Lola murmured a small prayer of thanks that Rosita had helped talk La Señora into renting them a room. The women had a boisterous give and take as they ate—a big change from the enforced decorum of their old home or the bored silence of the house they had just left. The women’s unstinting praise and delight over Blanca and Estela made them feel welcome.
It's Just Lola Page 10