Anticipation did not overshadow reality. If anything, it was the other wayaround. For a moment, he allowed himself to forget everything, just enjoy themoment. Oh, my God. Everything around her, the room, the house, the world, everythingfaded to black and disappeared except for the incredible sensations shootingthrough her. Absorbing her. Breaking down from the mini-tower of strength sheperceived herself to be and rebuilding a flesh and blood woman with needs anddesires.
Without thinking, she rose up on her toes as far as she could, winding her armsaround his neck and leaning into him, nerves jumping all up and down on herbody. She’d never expected anything like this, never had her head turnedcompletely around by a mere kiss.
No, not mere. Anything but mere. “Mere”didn’t make her skin sizzle or her brain go careening. But as wondrous asit was, she felt unsettled. Unsettled because his kiss opened up floodgates shewas terrified of having unlocked.
And yet—
This was delicious and she didn’t want it to stop. In a minute, but not now.
Just a second longer and then she’d back away. She had to. No matter what heryearning was, she couldn’t act on it. Because she wasn’t alone. Thank God she’d brought her brother and Kelli with her. Having them here forcedher to remain on the straight and narrow path, something she strongly doubtedshe could have done on her own right now.
And then, as unexpectedly as it had begun, it was over.
Philippe drew his head back, his expression dazed. He took a breath, as if tosteady himself. It was going to take more than a breath to do that for her, shethought.
“I’m not going to apologize,”he told her. “All right.”She was fairly surprised she could actually talk. Her lips felt asif they had the consistency of warmed honey.
“Not for the kiss, anyway.”
She didn’t understand, but then, it would have taken her a minute to respond ifsomeone had asked her her name.“Then for what?”
The smile was sad and burrowed into her heart before she could stop it.“Formore things than I can begin to tell you.”
“You are a very complicated, mysterious man, Philippe Zabelle.”
The laugh was dry with only a touch of humor to it.“You don’t know the half ofit.” He made her wonder. About the sadness in his eyes, about him. Had there beenanyone in his life? Someone who’d hurt him? Or someone he’d hurt that he feltguilty about?
“Maybe someday I will,”she replied.
Damn it, not your business, Janice. This wasn’t part of the job and that was allshe needed to focus on. Abruptly, she raised her voice and called out to herdaughter.
“Time to call it a day, kiddo.”While Mama still had knees that functioned. She felt as if she’d just been dynamited off her comfortable perch. With effortshe slowed her pace and left the room, trying very hard not to look as if shewas hurrying away from him.
But she was. As she carried in the laundry basket from the garage later that evening, shenoticed that Gordon’s car wasn’t there. Still holding the basket, she passed
bythe window and glanced out.
The car wasn’t parked at the curb, either.“Kelli, where’s Uncle Gordon?”
The little girl looked up from the book of children’s drawings she was pagingthrough.“He went out.” Oh God, not on a date, Janice prayed. The only time Gordon didn’t say anythingabout leaving, didn’t call out a“see you later,”he was going off on a datewith someone he knew he shouldn’t be seeing.
Janice set down the basket on the coffee table and sat down beside her daughteron the sofa.“Out? When?”
“A little while ago.”Kelli paused to think.“Theseven o’clock news lady wason. He said I couldn’t go with him.” The idea of Kelli out with Gordon on one of his dates horrified her.“Well, atleast he has some grain of sense,”she murmured to herself, then looked at herdaughter. Something wasn’t adding up.“Why would you want to go with him?”
“Because he’s going to Phili—Mr. Zabelle’s house,”Kelli amended, knowing thather mother didn’t like her calling grown-ups by their first names. Janice stared at her daughter. Okay, the two men seemed to get along at lunch,but Gordon just wasn’t in Philippe’s league. Philippe had things together whileGordon was a loosely wound ball of yarn, ready to come apart at the slightestpush.“Why would he be going there?”
“To play poker,”Kelli volunteered brightly. Janice’s mouth dropped open. Poker? Had he gotten caught up in a new obsession?Gordon didn’t do things by half measures. If he started seeing someone, he wasplanning marriage by the end of the first date. She’d seen him through a numberof dependencies, including food and alcohol. He didn’t know how to do anythingin moderation—except work, she thought cynically. These days, she was workinglike a dog not only to pay her own bills, but to help Gordon meet his bankruptcypayments as well. The faster that was paid off, the sooner he’d be able
to geton his own two feet.
A cold shiver went down her spine. That wasn’t going to happen if he’d taken upgambling.
She rose to her feet, putting her hand out to her daughter.“C’mon, honey.”
Kelli scooted off the sofa, taking her mother’s hand.“Where are we going?” “Well, you’re going to Mrs. Addison.”A grandmother three times over, the womanhad made it known that she was willing to babysit in the evenings, especially ifthere was an emergency. This definitely qualified.“I’m going to Mr. Zabelle’shouse to bring back Uncle Gordon before he finds another pit to fall into.”
It was obvious that Kelli didn’t quite understand what she was talking about,but she’d latched onto the one thing that was clear to her. Her mother was goingto see Philippe.“Mr. Zabelle? Why can’t I go with you?”
Janice grabbed her purse out of the closet. Slinging it over her shoulder, sheheaded for the front door with Kelli in tow.“Because Mama’s going to be usingsome grown-up words that you’re too young to hear.”
“I watch TV, Mama,”Kelli protested. She locked the door behind her.“More grown-up than that,”Janice told hertersely. Her tone was far from warm, but it wasn’t meant for Kelli. She was focused onGordon, annoyed with him for blundering into yet another possible addiction. Shewasn’t overly thrilled with Philippe either, even though the man had no way ofknowing about her brother’s addictive personality.
But he would by the time the evening was through.
This was all she needed, Janice thought. She struggled to keep her temper in-check. As she drove to Philippe’s, it was aneffort to keep from pressing down on the accelerator and going over the speedlimit.
For most of her adult life, she’d been bailing her brother out of one thing oranother. His inability to recognize that he was being taken in by a series ofwomen who only wanted what he could give them, had catapulted him intobankruptcy, which had led him into drinking and then overeating. She’d finally,finally gotten him to come around and be her assistant on these contractingjobs. And now he was sliding backward into something new.
She pressed her lips together, trying not to swear as she eased her foot off thegas. She was doing five miles over the speed limit.
Philippe was a bright man, couldn’t he see that Gordon had a weak, malleablepersonality?
Damn it, why did she have to be her brother’s keeper, anyway? She had enough tokeep her busy.
Getting over that kiss, for instance. The second she thought of it, of her involuntary reaction, Janice felt her skintingling.
Get a grip, Janice. You’re supposed to be boiling mad, not a bowl of mush.
By the time she arrived at Philippe’s door, Janice was completely worked up.
Instead of ringing the bell, she knocked. Pounded was more like it. The door hadtaken the place of her brother’s head.
Inside, Alain peered at his brother over a hand that would have gladdened theheart of a professional gambler.
Slim fingers folded the cards in his hand. Alain raised a quizzical eyebrow.
“You expecting someone to come break down your door, Philippe?” “Not tonight.�
�The pounding continued. He sighed, folded his cards and placedthem facedown on the table. As he rose, he pointed to the hand.“Don’t anyonetry to mess with that, I know what I have.”
“An unhealthy distrust of your relatives is what you have,”Georges commented.
“Philippe’s blunt warning wasn’t meant for you,”he told Gordon.“He thinks wecheat. In reality, he’s not that hot a poker player.”
Gordon nodded, finding himself completely at ease in this company of men. It wasa pleasant feeling, one he wasn’t accustomed to.
Philippe waved a hand at Georges.“I don’t cheat,”he declared as he opened thedoor. Turning, he was surprised and not a little pleased to see Janice standingthere. Her eyes were blazing. And there was something very stirring about the image shepresented.“Did I forget something?”
“Yes,”she snapped, not waiting to be invited in.“Decency.”
He closed the door behind her.“No, I’m pretty sure I stocked up on that thelast time I was at the store.”She wasn’t smiling.“What’s the matter?”
By now, she was no longer thinking rationally. God only knew how much Gordoncould have lost.“How could you?”she demanded.
Philippe hadn’t a clue.“How could I what?” She gritted her teeth. Without her experience of plucking Gordon out ofprecarious situations, she might have thought Philippe was innocent.“How couldyou invite my brother to your poker game?”
Philippe shoved his hands into his front pockets. Eventually this was going tomake sense. He just had to be patient.“Pretty easily, actually. I saidsomething like,‘Gordon, want to come to a game I’m holding tonight?’And hesaid yes.”
She struggled to keep her voice down. She didn’t want to embarrass her brotherin front of other people, but she certainly didn’t want to have to bail him outany more than she was already doing.
“This isn’t funny, Zabelle,”she told him in a low, firm voice.“Gordon’s got anaddictive personality. He doesn’t do anything in half measures.”She wasrambling, she thought and reined herself in.“I can’t go into details, but thisis really a very bad thing. You have to cut him off.”
Philippe still looked like the soul of innocence as he asked her,“You want meto cut off his colored toothpicks?”
About to shout“yes”she stopped and stared at him.“Colored toothpicks?”
He nodded, taking her arm. Thinking he was going to usher her out, she pulled itaway.“That’s what we play for. Colored toothpicks.”
She wasn’t about to be distracted. There had to be more than that.“But theyrepresent something, don’t they?”
Philippe nodded.“Well, yeah.”
To his credit, Zabelle didn’t even try to lie about it. Although that didn’tchange the bottom line.“Gordon can’t afford it.” Very complacently, Philippe placed his hands on her shoulders. That he was socalm only infuriated her further.“Janice, calm down. If he’s the big loser, hehas to wash the big winner’s car or clean the big winner’s barbecue grill.
Something along those lines.”
The fire went out of her eyes.“What? You don’t gamble for money?” He shook his head.“We play for things, chores mostly. Playing relaxes us and itgives us a chance to get together.”He took a breath. Maybe she’d feel better ifhe explained a few things to her. Ordinarily, he didn’t like getting personal,but he made an exception.“My father was a professional gambler and he‘professionally’lost almost everything my mother worked for. I don’t even playthe slot machines in Vegas. I don’t believe in real gambling, but this is justharmless fun, a way to knock off steam, get the adrenaline to kick in withoutany risk.”
She caught her lower lip between her teeth, feeling somewhat foolish now. “Really?”
He laced his hand through hers.“Really.”He nodded toward the dining room.
“Come see.”
“No, that’s okay,”she demurred. But he was already bringing her in.
Like a boy caught by his mother after curfew, Gordon looked both surprised anduneasy to see her.“What are you doing here?” Before she could say anything, Philippe was quick to explain.“Janice thoughtshe forgot one of her tools. I wanted to introduce her to you guys—in case anyof you lugs has a remodeling job you want done.”Turning to her, he confided,“All of them are as handy as dried out paste.”
Georges merely laughed.“You should talk. At least I know what to do with pointyobjects.”
Just standing there, listening to the exchange, she could feel the love in theroom. It made her envious and long for a childhood she’d never had.
Chapter 11 As Philippe introduced her to the other members of his weekly poker game,Janice was acutely aware of the way her brother was looking at her. As if heknew why she was really there. It wasn’t because of some so-called imaginarytool she’d left behind. She wanted to check up on him, as if he were twelve andshe was his mother.
It was all there in his face: annoyance at her unexpected invasion, hurt at herlack of trust. But damn it, could he really blame her? After all he’d put herthrough? She only had his best interests at heart.
The introductions over, Janice pressed her lips together and mustered a smilethat took in all the men gathered around the oblong table. “Sorry, I didn’t know I’d be barging in on a poker game. Please, go back toplaying.”Her eyes met Gordon’s briefly.“I was never here.”She glanced atPhilippe. He made a move to follow her as she backed away from the table.“I cansee myself out.”Again, her eyes shifted toward her brother.“See you at home,Gordon,”she added as she retreated.
Despite what she’d just told him, Philippe followed her out of the room. She felt just awful for raising her voice and accusing Philippe of takingadvantage of her brother. She wouldn’t blame him if he decided to terminatetheir contract. But before she could tender an apology, something that nevercame easily to her, Philippe took her by the arm and drew her over to the side.
“Listen,”he began softly,“I’m sorry I stirred things up for you.”
God, when he looked at her like that with those green eyes of his, she caughtherself thinking that she could forgive him for just about anything.
Get a grip, Janice. He’s the guy you’re working for right now, nothing else. Isthat clear?Clear as mud. “It seemed harmless enough at the time,”Philippe was saying to her. Shestruggled to focus on his words and not his lips or his eyes. Not exactly easy,given their proximity.“I got the feeling earlier today that your brother’sstruggling with a lot of problems and I thought this might help him blow offsteam. It does me.”
What kind of problems did Philippe have, she wondered. From everything she’dseen, he led a perfect life.
After a beat, she found her tongue and discovered that it really wasn’t glued tothe roof of her mouth.“You don’t have to apologize to me.” The grin was quick, so was the all-but-lethal shot to her gut.“Well, apparentlyI do. I don’t know if you realized it or not, but there was steam coming out ofyour ears when you got here and I think you left a perfect replica of yourknuckles on my door.”
Okay, so she’d overreacted. Big time. She wasn’t the kind to try to bury amistake. When she was wrong, she was wrong and she admitted it, but she wantedPhilippe to understand why she’d come in looking and sounding like a possessedwild woman.
She just wasn’t sure how to begin. Or how much to tell him.“Gordon’s done somepretty stupid things in his time.”
To his credit, Philippe didn’t prod her for details.“It’s a big club.” Because he didn’t ask, she was more inclined to share a little more. Gordonliked to talk and she had no doubts that her brother would wind up tellingPhilippe the whole story sooner than later, so she wasn’t violating any kind oftrust by letting the man know now.
“No, I mean really stupid. He lets himself be led around by the nose by anywoman who’ll pay attention to him.”She shrugged helplessly.“Could be anoffshoot of our mother walking out on us. He was very attached to her.”
Janice stopped abruptly, having gone further than she’d intended. The lastsenten
ce had just slipped out without warning. Philippe nodded slowly, as if analyzing what she’d just said.“And it hit himhard when the reverse didn’t turn out to be true.”He stood there for a longmoment, studying her. She caught herself wanting to shift beneath his gaze. Ittook effort to remain still.“How about you?”
Unconsciously, she raised her chin.“How about me, what?”
“How did your mother’s walking out on the family affect you?” Janice looked away and shrugged, as if it hadn’t bothered her. As if she hadn’tstayed up nights when she was a little girl, wondering if there was somethingshe could have done better to make her mother stay. Guilt had been her constantcompanion for the first two years after the family had gone from four to threemembers.
“I didn’t think about it one way or another,”she lied. Because it felt as ifhis eyes were peering straight into her soul, she added,“I guess she wanted tobe away from my father more than she wanted to be with us.”
“We have something in common,”he told her. When Janice eyed him quizzically, hesaid,“We both had gypsy mothers.” She’d read somewhere about Lily Moreau’s bohemian lifestyle. She supposed he wastrying to make her feel better about the situation. Too late, she thought, sheno longer felt anything about it one way or another.“Yes, but with onedifference. Yours came back.”
“And left. And came back. And then left again.”He laughed softly, having cometo terms with it years ago.“Made for a very confused childhood. There were lotsof times when we saw the nanny and the housekeeper more than we saw our mother.”
If there were any problems, they must have been minor, she thought. Georges wascharming and Alain seemed to be as well. And as for Philippe, well Philippe wasas together and well-adjusted a person as she’d ever come across. Just a littlewithdrawn. But that seemed to be changing.
“You and your brothers seemed to have turned out all right.” “So did you,”he pointed out.“We all do what we have to do to survive.”Nowthat he looked at her closely, she seemed incredibly tense, like someone waitingnot for the next shoe to fall but the next bomb to go off. He tried to make herfeel more at ease, more hopeful.“I get the impression that Gordon’s trying tocome around.”
[The Sons of Lily Moreau 01] - Remodeling the Bachelor Page 11