by Linda Bridey
Raven’s brows drew together. “What does any married couple do? They create a life together.”
“So we would live together before the ceremony?” Zoe asked.
“Yes. You would rather just sleep together but not live together before the ceremony? Are you reluctant because it goes against your beliefs that unless a preacher marries you it means that you are not really married?” Raven asked.
Zoe saw the anger in his eyes that threatened to break through the surface. She had no wish to hurt his feelings, but she didn’t know if she could do what he was asking. “I need to give my mother time to get here. It took me a little over two weeks, and she would need time to prepare for travelling and so forth.”
Raven looked heavenward and closed his eyes, asking for patience and understanding. Zoe felt his body relax and was relieved.
He heaved a sigh and settled his gaze on her once again. “All right. No elopement, then.” He slid her off his lap and stood up. “I’ll take you home.”
Zoe was confused. “So we’re not going to—”
“No,” he said and held out a hand to her. Once she was on her feet, he said, “I told you that I would not make love to you unless we were married and I meant it.”
“Ok,” she said and brushed off her skirt even though it didn’t really need it. Anything to look anywhere but at him at the moment.
Raven could see that her feelings were hurt and he wanted to give her an explanation. He took her by her upper arms and made her look at him. His heart hurt when he saw the tears in her eyes. “Zoe, you need to understand that once we have made love, I won’t be able to be without you. I won’t be able to spend any more nights apart from you. The bond between us is so strong now, and it will only double once we have been with each other. I would go insane with wanting you and knowing that I couldn’t have you by my side. It’s hard enough now, and it would be so much worse if we made love.”
Zoe nodded. “I know. For me, too, and yet I would be afraid of what my friends and our family would say about us living together that way. That’s terrible of me. Oh, just take me home!” she started out for her horse, ashamed and confused. “Never mind. I know my way.”
Raven hurried to stop her. “Zoe, I’ll take you. You don’t know which trail to take.”
She pulled her arm from his grasp and said, “Yes, I do! It’s right over …” She was disoriented in the dark and couldn’t even see the trail entrance now. “Damn it! I can’t even storm off properly!”
“What?”
“You know, make a dramatic exit? Like in a play? Please, Raven, take me home before I’m even more mortified,” Zoe said and mounted her horse.
“I have to put out the fire first,” he said.
“Ok. I’ll wait here,” she said listlessly.
Raven frowned and kicked dirt over the fire until it was completely extinguished. It was the first time he could ever remember a woman being angry with him for respecting her and not sleeping with her. He wasn’t sure what to do about it. Did he discuss it with her more or let it alone. Should he have not said anything to her and just made love with her? How could he let her go after that? He groaned inwardly and then mounted his horse.
Zoe followed him up the trail, trying to remember where it was so she could come alone. She needed to talk to someone who could explain some of this to her. Marcus! He would know the answers to her questions and he wouldn’t be offended by them.
As they rode, an awkward silence draped around them, something they hadn’t experienced with each other yet.
Once they reached the town limits, Zoe said, “I know my way from here. Goodnight, Raven.”
“Zoe, I’ll go with you,” Raven responded.
“No. Please, Raven? I just need to be alone right now,” she said.
He inhaled a calming breath and said, “Very well. Goodnight,” in a reserved manner. He stopped his horse and watched her ride on ahead.
Raven waited a few moments before tying his horse in the shadows alongside the road. Silently, he ran along behind her horse, keeping to the shadows so she didn’t know he was there. There would be no sleep for him if he didn’t know she was safe inside. He probably wouldn’t sleep anyway, but it would be worse if he were filled with worry about her safety.
Zoe felt wretched as she rode along. What was wrong with her? Didn’t she love Raven? Wasn’t that enough? Shouldn’t that be enough? Was her love for him something to be ashamed of? Why would it be so wrong to make love with him and live with him? Why would it be better to make love with him and then keep it secret until they were married? Which would be the most shameful?
People eloped all the time, but the only difference was that a preacher performed the ceremony and there was a piece of paper that said they were married. Weren’t the Lakota who were married just as married as white people? They just didn’t have a piece of paper saying they were. Didn’t they live together and have children, make a life together? Did the piece of paper really matter to her? What about her mother? How angry would she be if she missed the ceremony? There were too many questions and not enough answers.
Raven could see how upset Zoe was by the way her shoulders were slumped and he wanted to hold and comfort her. He couldn’t, however, because he knew that he would just upset her more if she knew he’d been following her. The most he could do was to see her safely home and give her the space she wanted.
*****
“Hi, Zoe,” Claire said when she opened the door of the apartment over the medical clinic where she and Marcus lived.
Zoe smiled. “Hello. Is Marcus here?”
“Yes. Come in. Is everything ok?” Claire asked as she led Zoe into their parlor. The younger woman looked tired and pale.
“Yes and no. I have some questions about some things to do with the Lakota,” Zoe said.
“Oh. All right. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get him,” Claire said and smiled.
Zoe perched on a chair and looked around the parlor. It was a nice room and signs of their family life were everywhere. Claire came back with Marcus and he greeted her warmly.
“It’s good to see you again, Zoe,” he said. He carried Eric and settled on the sofa.
Zoe smiled as she watched him prop an ankle on the opposite knee and lay the baby across his lap. The ease with which he handled Eric told her that he’d been taking care of babies for a long time.
“Claire said you have some questions for me,” he said as he bounced the baby with his leg.
Zoe sighed and said, “I don’t know if you’re aware, but things didn’t work out between Will and me.”
Claire said, “No. We didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok. It was mutual and we’re still friends.”
“That’s good,” Claire said.
Zoe nodded and said, “Raven and I are seeing each other.”
Marcus’s gray eyes met hers. “You are? When did that happen?”
“A couple days after I arrived here,” Zoe said.
Claire asked, “Before things ended with Will?”
Zoe said, “Things never got started with Will. Neither of us were attracted to each other at all. We get along well and like each other, but there’s no … um … passion between us.”
Marcus said, “I see. Most of the time, you can tell if there’s a spark or not, right, honey?” he asked Claire with a devilish smile.
She shot him an amused glance. “Yes, dummy. That’s right.”
“So you and Raven are seeing each other. How is it going?” Marcus asked. “You realize that I’m partial to him because he’s my nephew, right? So while I like Will, I can’t help but be glad for Raven.”
Zoe smiled. “I thought you might be. Things are going very well.”
Marcus saw the way she blushed and said, “It would seem as though things are going better than very well.”
Zoe became flustered. “They are! I love him, I’m in love with him, he wants to marry me. We almost eloped, but then he wouldn’t be
cause my mother would take a while to get here and we don’t know where we’re living exactly and then I was embarrassed and had to go home!” She caught her breath while Marcus and Claire exchanged shocked, amused glances.
“Zoe, let’s slow down a moment, ok?” Claire said. “So you and Raven are in love.”
“Yes.”
“And he wants to marry you. Do you want to marry him?” Claire asked.
“Yes.”
Marcus asked, “You were going to elope?”
“Yes, but the way the Lakota elope, not the way white people elope,” she said.
Marcus said, “Ah, I see. And you would prefer to wait to have a wedding until your mother arrives.”
“Yes and no. I would have eloped last night, but I just wasn’t sure about living with him before a ceremony takes place. How would that look?” she asked.
“It depends on whom you ask, Zoe. If you’re talking to a Lakota person, such as my brother Black Fox, elopement is acceptable, and you would live together as any other husband and wife do. There would be a wedding feast and such soon after. No longer than a week, usually. If you’re talking to say my brother, Dean, in his eyes you’re not married until there’s a church wedding and you living with Raven would be a big no-no. How did the elopement subject come up?” Marcus asked.
In an embarrassed whisper, Zoe said, “He wouldn’t spend the night with me without being married, either by eloping or a wedding.”
Marcus laughed. “Good boy, Raven.”
“So if we had eloped, you would have approved of us living together as husband and wife?”
“Sure. I would have eloped with Claire if it weren’t for our white families and she’d have agreed to it, too,” Marcus said.
“Yes, I would have,” Claire agreed. “I’d been in love with him for three years, and I would have married him the night he proposed to me if I’d known elopement was an option.” She punched Marcus’ arm.
“Ow! Yeah, and your father would have shot me, and you know it,” he countered.
Claire giggled. “Probably.”
“So if one of your children wanted to elope, it would be all right with you?” Zoe asked.
“Yes. If Aiyana were to elope with a Lakota boy, which is out of the question because they’re all on the reservation, I wouldn’t have a problem with that as long as the marriage feast and blessing by the medicine man happened whenever they came back.”
“I would accept it as well” Claire said, “Although, I have to say that I would like to see a blended wedding, and to watch Marcus walk her down the aisle. But as far as living together until the wedding? I wouldn’t object to it.”
Marcus said, “But we’re not exactly the typical thinking people on this. Do you want to be with Raven?”
“Yes, I do. But I don’t want people to think badly of us, either,” Zoe said.
“I think that’s wise in a way because you don’t want to bring trouble on Raven, and let’s face it, the majority of people around here would have a problem with it. It would be looked down on,” Claire said.
“I don’t want that for him. I’d also like my mother to be here, but I don’t know how she’ll take it that Raven is Lakota,” Zoe said. “She’s never been prejudiced, but then again, we’ve never had any contact with Indians.”
Marcus frowned. “Yes, there’s always that. Look Zoe, I know this is a hard situation. Raven has his beliefs, which I understand and would adhere to, but his beliefs are not yours, so you have to find a way to compromise. Is he angry at you?”
“Not with me, but I think he’s frustrated with the situation, and how whites don’t think you’re married without a piece of paper to show you are,” Zoe said.
Claire nodded. “I can see why he’s frustrated. But he’s willing to do things as you wish?”
“Yes, but shouldn’t I be more willing to do things the way he wants, too?”
Marcus raised an eyebrow at her. “You could. It just depends on how much of a hurry you’re in.”
“What do you mean?” Zoe asked with a frown.
“How much does a big church wedding mean to you?” Marcus asked. “If you think your mother will object to Raven, but you want to marry him regardless, there’s nothing she can do if you’re already married. Joe and Lacey got married with only Luke and Jamie present, but that was for different reasons.”
“I would want all of Raven’s family to be there, or as many who can come,” Zoe said.
“That’s still a lot of people, not to mention all of his friends. So that’s what I’m asking. There are only about eight people at the reservation that Raven would be worried about attending and it’s doubtful that Rick would be able to get permission for them to get out again for it, no matter how much Rick pushed for it. Rick might be able to get Raven’s parents out for the day, but that’s probably it.”
“How offended would all of his other family be if they weren’t invited to the wedding?” Zoe asked.
Claire said, “I think they would be very upset, Zoe. I’m sorry, but I have to be honest.”
Zoe smiled. “I understand. Thank you for your help.”
“What do you want to do, Zoe?” Marcus asked.
“I don’t know. I mean, by white standards, I guess we aren’t even officially engaged since there’s no ring. I know he meant the proposal and I accepted it. I still want to marry him more than anything. But I don’t know if we should tell people and if we do, they’re going to ask about a ring. How do I ask Raven for a ring? Why is this all so complicated?”
“Because you’re dealing with two different cultures,” Marcus said. “It can get very complicated. Believe me, I know. The question is; are you strong enough to compromise and get through the difficulties that can arise? Before you marry Raven, you need to know what you’re willing to do and what you’re not. I’d hate to see either of you hurt or end up miserable.”
“I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t elope last night then,” Zoe said with a grim smile. “Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about all of this. I appreciate it very much.”
Zoe rose from the chair as Marcus said, “You’re welcome. Anytime.”
Claire walked her to the door, feeling badly for her dilemma. “Zoe, you and Raven will figure this out. You have to talk about it though. Don’t shut down on each other because there are some obstacles in your path. Find a way to go around them so you can achieve what both of you want,” she said.
Zoe nodded. “I know. You’re right. Thanks again.”
Claire smiled a little as Zoe left and prayed that the young couple could figure things out so that they could be together.
Chapter Fifteen
While Zoe was confused and dismayed, Raven was determined and hopeful. He rode over to Joe’s the next morning full of excitement. He saw the mayor playing on the lawn with Emily and smiled. It looked like he was setting up a game of croquet. The two were laughing and talking nonstop, which was normal for them.
When they saw Raven, Emily ran over to him.
“Look who it is,” she said in her slight Texan drawl, which the eight-year-old had picked up from Joe.
“Hi, Emily,” Raven said and picked her up. “How are you today?”
“I’m good and you?” she asked, her hazel eyes alight with happiness to see him.
“I’m good, too,” he said and gave her a kiss on the cheek before putting her down.
“Daddy and Mama and I are gonna play croquet. You wanna play? We’re gonna try to get some other people to play, too. I think Minx and Charlie are gonna play,” she informed him.
“That will be fun. I can’t play today. Another time.”
Joe finished pounding in one of the brackets and walked over to him. “What brings you?”
“Who owns the land where the old camp is?” Raven asked.
“I do. I bought it last fall with the intent to grow hay and oats. The land isn’t ready for that yet, though. We were gonna lease Deena’s father’s land and grow some, but a
fter he pulled a gun on Eddie last year, we didn’t want to get into business with the man,” Joe said. “The land is close by and it’s a nice area, as you well know. Why do ask?”
Raven grinned. “I want to buy it.”
Joe’s eyebrows rose. “You do? Why?”
“I would like to live there again because it’s where I grew up. I thought maybe a few of us could go in together to buy it and we could live there. Well, Reckless and Brook full-time, and maybe Uncle Marcus and Uncle Owl part-time like they used to,” he answered. “Jack and Sparrow, too.”
Joe grinned. “You want to start your own camp again, is that it?”
Raven nodded. “Yes. Will you sell it to me?”
“Let me think a minute,” Joe said.
His agile mind began to think through the issue. He wasn’t sure that Raven was allowed to own land or not since he was Lakota. He would have to check into that. Though he understood Raven’s desire to do what he wanted to, he wasn’t sure that Raven could afford the land since it was a sizeable acreage. Plus, he still wanted the land for growing the hay and oats since they had run out of land and growing their own would lessen some of their overhead. Then a solution occurred to him.
“Raven, I’ve got a proposition for you. Let’s go to the camp and work this out so it’s beneficial to both of us. Let me get a horse,” Joe said. He turned to Emily and said, “Don’t worry, sweetheart; I’ll be back after a bit and we’ll play, ok?”
“Ok, Daddy. This sounds important so I’ll wait,” she said.
Joe kissed and hugged her. “You are the sweetest girl I know. Thank you. Let your mama know where I went please.”
“Ok. See ya, Raven,” she said and ran off to the house.
Joe chuckled and said, “I’ll be right with you.”
*****
As they entered the clearing, Joe began looking the area over. He and Raven rode silently as Joe thought about how he was going to accomplish his goal.
“How much of this land do you want?” he asked.
“Mainly the clearing, but also the rock ledge where Reckless dives from.”
“Come with me a minute,” Joe said and put Hamlet into a canter.