by Linda Bridey
When no one came to get him, Raven knew that his fighting wasn’t over. He wiped blood from his eyes that ran from a cut on his forehead and rested as much as he could before they brought another opponent. He groaned inwardly when they shoved two Indians into the enclosure. Raven put his most fierce expression on and flexed his shoulders.
After he killed one of them and almost killed the other, Raven went over to the fence.
“I am done! Enough! I have given you all the sport I’m going to give you,” he rasped.
Clemons laughed. “Then I guess you’re ready to give up on seeing that pretty wife of yours.”
Raven turned away from the guard as he heard the gate open again. Three more Indians were shoved in with him. Fury burned inside Raven, but he tried to channel it into energy as his opponents came at him. Though Raven fought fiercely and killed one of them, his energy surge was short-lived and the other two began to inflict serious damage on him. As he fought off one, the other landed a terrific blow to the back of Raven’s head and he went down on his knees as blackness rose up to meet him.
He tried to rise, but vicious kicks connected with his ribs and threw him over on his side. In a last ditch effort to save himself, Raven grabbed the legs of the closest one and succeed in breaking his opponent’s ankle before the other one slammed a fist into his jaw. Raven sagged to the ground and lay still.
*****
“What’s he in the infirmary for?” Rick demanded when Captain Hack informed them that Raven had been take there the night before. That certain something about Rick that unsettled people was in full force at the moment and the captain glanced around nervously.
“Well, I’m afraid that there was a disturbance last night and he was hurt,” Hack said.
“A disturbance? What exactly does that mean?” Rick stepped closer to the captain.
“All those involved have been properly dealt with and are in custody,” Hack said.
Rick’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “What the hell happened?”
“A corporal came to fetch me last evening because some of the guards were making the Indian prisoners fight. Your friend was quite formidable and killed quite a few, but I’m afraid that in the end, well, he didn’t fare so well.”
Zoe felt a little faint at this news, but clutched Mike’s shoulder a moment and took a deep breath to calm herself. Then rage surged through her body. “I demand that you take me to see my husband immediately!”
Hack said, “I’m sorry Mrs. Dwyer, but it might be a good thing if you were just to go to a hotel. I regret to say that he doesn’t look—”
“Now! Take me to him now!” she screamed, her eyes a bright silver in her angry state.
Hack nodded and led them from the room.
*****
From far away, Raven heard his name being called and felt a kind touch on his shoulder. Bright light assaulted his eyes and increased the throbbing in his head. The voice came again. It was a woman and she sounded familiar. He tried to grasp who it was, but couldn’t quite manage it. His head hurt too badly to think hard enough. Merciful darkness claimed him once again and he groaned as he sank down into it.
While Hack had led Zoe and Rick to the infirmary, Mike had raced out to get his saddlebag with all of his medicinal supplies in it. He had no idea what kind of infirmary they had here, but he’d be damned if Raven didn’t get the best care possible.
Zoe cried openly at the condition in which they found Raven. He was bare from the waist up and bruises covered much of his ribcage. The right side of his jaw was swollen and purple and his right eye was swollen shut. She didn’t know where to touch him that wouldn’t hurt him, so she placed her hand on his shoulder as she said his name. He stirred slightly, but only groaned before passing out again.
Mike came into the room, saw Raven and stopped short for a few moments. The army doctor came over to look at Raven and Mike shoved him out of the way.
“What was your assessment last night?” Mike asked as he began his own examination.
“Who are you?” the doctor asked.
“Dr. Mike Samuels.” Mike felt not one bit of remorse for perpetuating the lie. He figured it was going to be true one day soon, anyway.
The other man laughed. “You’re a doctor?”
“That’s right. Graduated from Rush Medical College in Chicago just last month. Now, what’s your assessment? I’m guessing a severe concussion. Is his jaw fractured or just badly bruised? What about his teeth? Any damage to them? He’s got at least three cracked ribs, maybe more.”
The doctor couldn’t keep up with Mike. “His teeth?”
Mike stopped and looked at him. “How much of an examination did you do?”
The man’s expression turned sheepish. “They didn’t come get me until four a.m. and there was another patient that was worse off than him that I had to treat first.”
“So he laid here all night without treatment?” Mike asked.
“At least a few hours, anyway.”
Mike threw a look of angry disbelief his way and then continued to examine Raven. By the time he was done, he determined the worst of Raven’s injuries were the concussion, broken ribs and an undetermined knee injury. Mike hoped that it was simply severe bruising, but torn ligaments couldn’t be ruled out. He was covered in cuts and bruises, but they would heal.
Rick recorded every injury Mike found and essentially interrogated everyone he could about what had happened the night before. He knew some good lawyers and planned to make Raven rich by suing the army. He had witnesses and the captain himself had told them about the fighting. Yes, by the time he was done, Raven wouldn’t want for money again.
Zoe had never seen anyone who’d been hurt so badly, but she reached down deep and found the strength to help Mike bathe Raven and begin dressing his wounds. Mike had waved the doctor away, knowing that he and Zoe could do just as good a job as he would have, if not better because they cared deeply about Raven.
Rick had insisted that Raven be moved to the best quarters possible to recover. Captain Hack readily obliged. He felt terrible about what had happened and wanted to do anything he could to help. Once Raven was situated, Zoe helped Mike take care of him.
At midafternoon, Raven began to stir. This time, he was able to regain consciousness, but almost wished he hadn’t been able to. He was disoriented at first and thought he was still fighting. Rick and Mike held him down so he didn’t hurt himself more and got him calmed down.
“Where am I?” he asked in Lakota. It hurt to talk so his words came out slightly slurred.
Rick said, “You are still at the fort. This is a sergeant’s quarters. You will be here until you are well enough to travel.”
Raven sighed. “What fort?”
“Fort Stevens,” Mike said. “Raven, how many fingers am I holding up?”
“Why?”
“I need to test your vision. How many?”
“Three. Are you a medicine man?” Raven asked.
Mike thought this was an odd question. “Good. Your vision seems ok, Raven.”
“Who is ‘Raven’?”
Rick, and Mike looked at each other.
Rick said, “Raven is your name.”
“Do you know who I am?” Mike asked him.
Raven looked hard at Mike and tried to think, but nothing came to him. “No.”
“Do you know me?” Rick asked.
“No.”
“What about her?” Mike asked as he pointed to Zoe.
Raven gazed at her and thought she was a beautiful woman with her auburn hair, gray eyes, and long, slender curves. A flash of naked bodies came to him, but vanished in an instant. He tried to hold onto it, but couldn’t.
“No, but you are beautiful,” he said with a slight smile.
Zoe’s brow puckered. “What did he say?”
Rick replied, “He doesn’t know you, but he thinks you’re beautiful. He doesn’t know any of us.”
“Raven, can you speak English?” Mike asked. Except f
or Zoe, they had all been speaking in Lakota.
“English?”
Mike switched to English. “Yeah. Do you know what happened to you?”
Something about the words was familiar but he just couldn’t grasp their meaning. “What?” he asked in Lakota.
Rick sighed. “What’s wrong with him?” he asked in English.
“Let me think a minute,” Mike said.
Rick smiled. “Gonna look through your books, huh?”
Mike didn’t answer because he was already doing this. His genius mind contained an enormous capacity for memory and he was able to call up almost anything he ever read. He closed his eyes as he mentally flipped through a book that he had read in the fall semester. Diseases of Memory: An Essay in the Positive Psychology, written by Théodule Ribot, a French psychologist who studied amnesia rose in his mind and he moved to the needed chapter.
Raven watched the two men and then saw Mike close his eyes. Was he praying? He didn’t know. He turned to look at the woman and smiled at her as much as his jaw would allow.
“What happened to me?” he asked her.
Rick said, “You were in a very bad fight and were injured badly. Zoe,” he pointed to her, “does not speak Lakota. Only English.”
Raven frowned which hurt his eye. “How am I supposed to talk to her? How do I know her?”
Rick thought about this and decided that they were going to have to go along with the lie that Zoe was his wife. While they were at the fort, they didn’t need to have any discrepancies in their story coming to light.
To Zoe Rick said, “Zoe, don’t look displeased about what I’m telling you ok?”
“Ok. What is it?”
“Remember, don’t disagree with me. He doesn’t understand English. He’s asking how he knows you. For all he knows, you’re his wife. If we want to get out of here, we’re going to have to go with that story. So I’m going to tell him that’s who you are and you’re going to have to act like that’s who you are. Ok?” Rick said with a small smile.
Zoe’s mind began turning at that. She kept from frowning, but wondered how she was going to pretend they were married. How was she supposed to lie convincingly to Raven? The Lakota had great ability in telling when people were lying. Wouldn’t he see she was being untruthful? There was only one way she could pull it off; she would have to look at this as a chance to pretend that they’d never fought and that they were still together. After all, a part of her wished that were true.
Zoe nodded. “Yes. I can do that.”
Rick motioned her closer as Mike opened his eyes.
“He has amnesia and there’s no way to know if it’s temporary or permanent,” Mike said. “This could just be a fugue state that he’ll recover from after so long, or he might never remember anything about himself or us.”
“You’re kidding me?” Rick said with a stricken look on his face.
“I’m afraid not. The field of study is relatively new, so that’s all I have to go on at this point,” Mike said. “Sorry.”
“You know, I’m getting tired of hearing that about the human mind,” he said in English then switched to Lakota. “Raven, Zoe is your wife.”
Raven turned too quickly to look at Rick and the room became fuzzy for a few moments. He shut his eyes until it passed. Then he opened them again and looked over at Zoe.
“I am married? Do we have children?”
“No. You have not been married for very long,” Rick said.
Raven said, “I am sorry I do not remember you, but I hope my memory comes back.”
Rick translated and Zoe nodded. “Me, too.”
He may not remember her, but Zoe remembered the slightly lopsided smile he often sent her way. It was one of the things she loved most about him. She smiled even as tears stung her eyes.
Raven saw she was upset and assumed it was because he was so hurt. He didn’t want her to worry about him. He held out a hand to her. Rick watched her closely and saw her indecision.
“Remember, you’re going to have to play along,” he said.
Zoe nodded and came closer so she could take his hand. Mike scooted a chair over beside the bed so she could sit by Raven. Sitting down, she looked at the hand she held. It was battered with scrapes across the knuckles and his wrist was bruised. Her vision blurred as she thought about what he must have went through for him to be in such horrible condition.
Tears fell from her eyes as she asked, “How many did he fight?”
“I got some conflicting accounts, so it’s either twelve or thirteen. Out of that he killed ten,” Rick said sadly. “He had no choice.”
Zoe put a shaking hand to her mouth and shook her head a little. Raven didn’t like her being so upset and closed his stiff fingers around her hand.
“Zoe, do not cry. I will be all right.”
Mike translated and Zoe nodded and started wiping away her tears. Mike gave her a handkerchief.
Raven said, “What are your names?”
Rick hadn’t realized he hadn’t told him. “I am Rick and this is your cousin, Mike.”
“Cousin? You are white,” Raven said with a doubtful expression.
Mike smiled. “It is a long story, cousin.”
Raven grunted. “I am sure it is.”
Zoe moved to get up, but Raven hung on to her hand. He enjoyed holding it. “Where are you going?”
As with other times, Zoe didn’t understand his words, but she knew he wanted to know why she was leaving him. “You should drink some water.” She made a drinking motion and pointed at him.
“Yes. A drink would be good,” he agreed. His mouth tasted horrible to him and as he started looking over what he could see of his body, he began to understand why Zoe was so upset. “Rick, how bad was this fight?”
Rick didn’t see any point in withholding this information. “Very bad. You killed ten men and severely wounded at least two others.”
Flashes of fists connecting with bodies flitted across his mind, but as before, the memory quickly vanished.
“Who were these men?” he asked.
“From what I gather, they were Pawnee that the guards put into some sort of caged area with you. You were made to fight or die,” Rick said.
“Death matches?”
“Yes.”
“And I killed ten Pawnee?”
“Right.”
Raven smiled. “This is good. I counted much coup then.”
Rick gave him a sad smile. “You could say that.”
“You act like that is not a good thing.”
“The important thing is that you are alive,” Mike said.
Raven watched as Zoe came to him and gave him a cup of water. He smiled and said, “Thank you.”
She smiled and said, “You’re welcome.”
He drank the water and leaned his head back against the pillow. Closing his eyes, Raven tried to remember something about himself or the people he was with. He didn’t like being in a white person’s bedroom, but he had little choice at the moment. He instinctively trusted the two men and the woman even though he didn’t remember them.
Experimentally he moved his left leg and though it was stiff, it didn’t cause too much discomfort. The right leg was a whole other matter. His knee screamed when he tried to bend it so he stopped and returned it to its former position. He groaned because not only did the knee hurt, but the effort of moving had caused his head to throb.
Mike said, “I’m going to go find the kitchen so I can make him a couple of teas and see if I can get some laudanum from the infirmary. I’ll be back.”
“Good idea,” Rick said as he looked at Raven as he lay with his eyes closed. “Ah, Lame Duck. I’m so sorry about this.”
Zoe sat down by Raven again and said, “You said he was coming to get me.”
Rick met her gaze and said, “He’s been miserable without you. He felt bad about everything that happened and started realizing that he treated you badly. He wanted to try to apologize and get you to come back with
us. He never stopped loving you.”
Teas began anew and Zoe said, “I’ve been miserable without him, too. I was so hurt and humiliated that I couldn’t talk to him. I had to get away from him, from my mother. All of it. I should have tried to talk to him, but I couldn’t.”
Rick put a hand on her shoulder. “I know. It certainly was not a good time. You’re going to have to come back with us if he doesn’t remember anything by the time he’s well enough to travel. He’s going to have a lot of questions that I don’t want to answer without him being home.”
Zoe said, “How can I live a lie?”
“Can you honestly say that in your heart of hearts, you don’t still want to marry him?”
“But he has no memory of me, of us together. What if he never does?” Zoe said. “All of the things we said to each other, the things that made us fall in love; what if they’re all gone? What if he’s not the same person?”
Rick sighed and said, “It’s going to be the same for all of us. All we can do is hope he remembers us and who he is. In the meantime, we’ll have to create new memories.”
“I don’t know if I can keep pretending, Rick,” Zoe said.
“Let’s just take it one day at a time for now, ok?”
Zoe nodded. “Ok. Rick, how am I supposed to communicate with him when I’m alone with him? I only know a handful of Lakota words.”
Rick smiled. “I guess we’ll have to have lessons for the both of you, then.”
Zoe gave him a tight smile and fell silent.
Chapter Twenty-Two
By the time a week had passed, Raven’s condition was much improved and he was insistent about leaving the fort and going home. His memory hadn’t come back and he hoped that being in familiar surroundings again would help. Plus, he was tired of living in the white man’s lodging.
Mike was satisfied that his concussion had subsided enough for him to travel, but his knee was another matter. It was still swollen and bruised. Raven was stubborn, however and said that he could ride short distances each day. Zoe had tried to convince him to wait, but he wouldn’t.
“I need to go home and see my people. I need to know who I am,” Raven told her.
The language barrier was still a problem, but they both were learning more every day. They could at least have simple conversations, but they were frustrated because they couldn’t speak privately about more complicated issues. There were many things Raven wanted to ask her, but wouldn’t in Mike and Rick’s company. It was the same for Zoe.