by Casey, Ryan
“Please don’t.”
“You say… you say your goodbyes and then—”
“Please. Please.”
“And then go over to Miriam and Shelley.”
Amy let out a pained cry. She tucked her head right under Martha’s neck. And Hayden felt warm tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked at the bitten mother and her daughter right beside her. This kid would never survive this. She’d never live this down.
But it was his duty to keep her safe. To keep everyone safe.
It was his duty to make sure she survived.
After a few more seconds, Miriam and Shelley managed to ease Amy away from her mum. That left Hayden alone with Martha. Alone, staring down into the eyes of the woman he’d worked so hard to find when he was travelling to Warrington with Newbie. The woman who he’d lived with at Riversford for all that time. The woman who’d found her way back to him; saved his life and saved so many other lives.
The woman whose death he was responsible for.
He lifted the machete with his shaky hand. Held it right across her neck. It wasn’t a nice way to go. A messy way, for sure.
Right now, it was the best option. Often, in this world, you had to just settle for the best option.
He lifted the machete.
“You… you’re going to get everyone killed.”
Martha’s spluttered whisper froze Hayden.
He looked down. Looked to see if she really had spoken.
Her eyes were closed. Her lips were sealed. Nobody else seemed to have noticed if she’d said anything.
But those words.
He couldn’t get them out of his head.
“You’re going to get everyone killed.”
He didn’t want to believe them. Didn’t want to face up to them. But something about them resonated. Something about them made a horrible kind of sense.
A voice inside his head told him he was going to get everyone killed.
If he didn’t change, he was going to get everyone killed.
Hayden wiped the tears from his eyes. He sniffed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Thank you for… for everything.”
He brought the machete down on Martha’s neck.
Hard.
And as her head disconnected from her body, as more blood splattered onto Hayden, all he could think about were those words.
“You’re going to get everyone killed.”
Chapter Fourteen
The walk towards the wall was a blur.
The late morning sun peeked through the clouds. There was a distinct autumnal chill to the air, and with it, silence. Silence not like the peaceful kind that New Britain was used to, but an eerie kind. The silence of many lives lost. Of tons of people killed—no, butchered.
New Britain had changed in this last hour. It had changed, and it would never be the same again.
Where many of the bodies once lined the streets, there were now just patches of blood. Patches that the infected had risen from. Risen from, then gone away to pursue more prey. It was too quiet here. Stupidly quiet. Hayden wondered if maybe everyone was dead, or if the infected had just moved on.
But no. He swore he felt eyes on him at every turn.
He swore he saw movement lurking in the alleyways, creeping up on him.
He heard Amy crying and his stomach sank again.
He looked around. Saw Miriam with an arm around her shoulder. Poor kid looked totally wrecked after what happened to her mum. Didn’t help that she was covered in her mum’s blood, either, the taste of it no doubt sticking to her lips. A constant reminder of what she’d witnessed. Of what’d happened. Of what she’d lost.
Lost, at the hands of Hayden.
“The ladders over the walls might just be our best bet right now.”
Hayden looked to his right. Daniel walked by his side. He’d joined them not long ago. They found him running through the street, fleeing an infected. He didn’t have that typical smile on his face anymore. Even his black suit, which he religiously wore with such pride, looked haggard, out of sorts.
But he was alive. He was alive and he wasn’t infected. That counted for something.
“You know it’s not going to be as easy as just walking away from here,” Hayden said.
Daniel sighed. He shook his head. “Then tell me if you have a better option.”
Hayden could hear a shakiness in Daniel’s voice. A fragility that was rare in someone with such confidence, such assertiveness. “I’ve been thinking of a few places.”
“Outside?”
“No, ins—”
“We can’t stay in here, Hayden.”
“It’s gone quieter.”
“That’s probably just because the infected have moved to a more populated place. You know just as well as I do that New Britain is a big place.”
“Then that’s all the more reason to stay.”
“What?”
“It’s a big place. I mean, sure, this part’s been attacked. But that doesn’t mean everywhere’s fallen. There’ll still be places in here we can go to—”
“Is he seriously still talking about staying in here?”
Hayden’s stomach sank when he heard Miriam’s voice. It sank even more when he saw the look in her eyes. He was used to her being sarcastic, jokey, but not like this. She spoke to him like he wasn’t even himself anymore. Like he’d done something she couldn’t forgive. And he supposed she was right, in a way. He had done something wrong. He’d let Amy watch her mother die. He’d been the one to try and convince Martha to stay. If they’d been just seconds earlier leaving, then what happened wouldn’t have happened. That was on him.
“We need to weigh up the best option,” Hayden said.
“I’ve weighed up all the fucking options,” Miriam interrupted. “There’s only one damned option worth taking, and that’s leaving this place.”
“I’ve tried to tell him the same,” Daniel said.
“Don’t you start,” Hayden said.
Daniel narrowed his gaze. “What?”
“If you hadn’t started fucking curing people willy-nilly in the first place, maybe we’d have had our guards up higher. Maybe these—these runners wouldn’t be around at all.”
A smile did return to Daniel’s face at that point. Only it was one of disbelief. “So you’re saying this is my fault?”
Hayden shook his head. “Not your fault, just—”
“You’re saying it’s my fault, and you’re failing to be honest and open about the fact that you’ve been killing people who walk near to our gates because you’re too scared about what might happen if someone gets inside?”
Daniel’s words knocked Hayden back. He knew he suspected as much. He’d said about what happened to Amanda, and that excelled Hayden’s fears that he was on to him.
But to say that. To say out loud that Hayden had killed people simply because he was worried who they might be…
“Is it true?”
Hayden looked up at Miriam. She had that look in her eyes again. Looking at him like he was a monster. The most disgusting fucking monster she’d ever seen.
“All I’ve ever tried to do is keep this place safe—”
“It is true, isn’t it?”
Hayden opened his mouth to argue. But he figured there were times to lie and times to be totally truthful, and right now the only option was the truth. “If I hadn’t then God knows how long ago this place would’ve already been attacked.”
Miriam shook her head. Shelley looked at him with wide eyes. Even Amy, still caught in the throes of grief, looked at Hayden differently than she used to.
“You fucking disgust me,” Miriam said.
And then she walked, Shelley and Amy by her side, in the direction of the wall.
Daniel held his ground. Just for a few seconds, he held his ground.
“We can still get to the armoury,” Hayden said. “It’s the safest place here. Whether you… whether you hate me or not, it’s the safest place.”
Miriam turned around. Shook her head. “I’m not going a single fucking place with you again. Because you’re dangerous. You get people killed. You’re so fucking caught up in your comfort zone, and I knew that. But to be so fucking caught up that you actually kill people who are out there—people who need our help? That’s seriously fucked up. And I won’t stand by and let that happen. I won’t stand for your bullshit. Not anymore.”
Hayden watched her leave. He watched Amy, Shelley, Daniel, all of them leave. He felt alone again. Alone. Trapped. Because they were a part of his safety. They were a part of his comfort zone.
Without them, he was just that same wanderer who aimlessly travelled the country after Sarah’s death.
He was just the same as the monsters.
But there was nothing he could do. Nothing he could do to win them over. Nothing he could do to convince them to his way of thinking. Not anymore. Not after the damage that’d already been done.
He started to turn around and head back in the direction of the armoury when he saw something just ahead of Miriam, Amy, Shelley, Daniel.
No.
Not some thing.
Lots of fucking things.
The group stopped. Stopped, right in their tracks.
In front of them, standing between them and the wall, a group of infected.
Ten of them. Maybe more.
All of them standing there.
And then, running.
Chapter Fifteen
When Miriam told Hayden she never planned on going anywhere with him again, Hayden figured it was ironic that she was now running in the exact direction as him.
Just a pity it was because they were being chased by a growing mass of infected.
All of them running.
They ran through the streets. Hayden panted, keeping his pace fast enough to stay far away from the infected, but not so fast that he accidentally fell into the clutches of them. The infected weren’t far behind. But any slip, any hesitation, and they’d be onto them in seconds.
After watching them tear Martha apart, Hayden wasn’t ready to witness any more people he cared about die horrifically at the hands of those monsters.
“The armoury’s not far away,” Hayden shouted. The rest of the group were keeping pace with him. “We could go straight and get there in no time, or we could take a right down here and lose some of these.”
“It’s too risky,” Daniel said.
“What he said,” Miriam echoed.
Hayden could tell their trust in him was wavering. And who could blame them? But they needed to be together right now. They needed to work hard if they wanted to get out of this alive. Their heads had to be in the same place, even if their hearts were far apart. “We’ll go straight then. We just… we just need to keep moving. Fast.”
They ran further. Hayden could hear the growls of the infected getting closer. He could just about see the armoury up ahead. He felt a sickening knot in his stomach as he imagined getting there, only for it to be already occupied by some nuts, like Gary, or one of his cronies.
But no. He couldn’t let himself think about the worst right now. He could only think about one thing: getting to the armoury. Getting his people to safety.
And Gary was dead. He’d left him behind to close the gates. He felt bad about that too, sure, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on things like that.
Gary was gone. He wasn’t going to be a problem.
He had to believe that.
He heard a cry. Heard something hit the ground.
When he turned, he saw Amy was on her knees.
He stopped. Stopped in an instant. Even though the infected were rapidly making ground, he couldn’t leave her there. Couldn’t just leave her to die.
He ran back. Ran over to Amy. Pulled her to her feet. “Come on. Hold my hand. You can make this. We can both make this.”
Amy nodded, and the pair of them started running, hand in hand—
Miriam snatched Amy out of Hayden’s hand.
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. Hayden knew exactly why it was. She still hated his guts for what she’d found out: he’d been picking people off to keep this place—“his perfect little bubble”, as she called it—safe.
He wanted to argue with her, to tell her he had everyone’s best interests at heart.
But now wasn’t the time.
Not now the infected were practically breathing down their necks.
“We need to run faster!” Hayden shouted, carrying on his hurtling towards the armoury. He gripped on to a heavy pipe, hoping he wouldn’t have to use it, but his hope was rapidly deteriorating the more he and the group fatigued. “We’re nearly there. Almost made it. We can do this.”
“If you stop fucking talking, maybe we will make it,” Miriam said.
As he ran, Hayden heard a glimmer of her old sarcasm in her voice. A sign that maybe she was coming round to his way of thinking. That maybe she saw he wasn’t the demon she wanted to believe so desperately.
And then he saw an infected rush out of the alley to their right, towards Daniel.
Hayden did the only thing that came instinctively to him.
He pushed past Daniel.
Lifted the pipe.
Cracked it across the infected’s neck.
The infected fell back. The hit wasn’t hard enough to end it completely, but it was good enough to buy them some time.
“No time to kill it,” Hayden said.
He started running again.
And then he saw two more infected coming from the left.
He gritted his teeth. Lifted that pipe. He saw Miriam, Shelley, Daniel all raise their various weapons too.
The armoury was just ahead. They could be there in seconds if they put everything they had into it.
Just another two infected to fight through.
The first infected collided with Miriam. She hacked at it. Hacked at its neck with the machete Hayden decapitated Martha with just earlier.
She killed it, but they were slowing.
The cries of the oncoming infected were getting deafening.
Hayden slammed the next infected right in its skull with the pipe. Sent half of its rotting face flying to the ground below. Heard the shards of bone raining down onto the road. The infected wasn’t down, not completely, but it was down enough.
The path to the armoury was clear.
They had thirty seconds to get there. Maybe less than that.
They all ran over to it. And as they did, those fears of not getting inside for whatever reason started to return to the forefront of Hayden’s mind.
The door was just metres away.
Then inches away.
It had to be open. It had to be free.
He reached the handle. Grabbed it. Started to turn.
It didn’t budge.
Hayden’s body froze.
“Won’t fucking move,” he said.
“Fuck,” Miriam said. She looked over her shoulder. The crowd of infected was fifty-strong now, at least. Just seconds away.
“Then what the hell are we supposed to do now?” Daniel asked.
Hayden looked at the door again.
Took a deep breath.
Did all he could to focus, to block the outside noise and events out of his consciousness.
He turned the handle.
Pushed down against it. Hard.
Pushed down with all he had.
He started to lose hope when the handle dropped.
The door opened.
It took Hayden a few vital seconds to realise he’d done it. That they were inside.
“Quick!” he shouted.
Miriam ran inside, Amy beside her. Shelley followed. Hayden waited for Daniel, but he noticed something. Daniel was staying put.
And then he saw why.
Daniel’s trousers were torn.
His leg was bleeding.
He looked at Hayden with a pale face. “Do it.”
Hayden shook his head. “We can’
t lose you too—”
“You keep those people safe no matter what. Even if it means doing something you really don’t want to do. Because regardless of what’s happening right now, you’re immunised. That is worth more than anything in this world. Now close the door.”
Hayden saw the infected just feet away from Daniel.
He heard the shouts from behind. The confusion.
He saw the tears in Daniel’s eyes.
“Shut it,” he said.
Hayden felt the pain inside his body as he slammed the door shut.
Slammed it shut, just as one of the infected lay into Daniel.
He listened to the sounds of banging outside. The sounds of screams. He listened to flesh being torn away. To the gurgling of blood. To a feast.
And as he crouched there, eyes closed, behind the locked door of the armoury, he hoped maybe it’d be over. That maybe the horrors would end right now. That this would be the extent of the chaos.
He was wrong.
He just didn’t know it yet.
Chapter Sixteen
The sounds of the infected scraping at the armoury doors didn’t stop for hours.
Hayden sat down against the wall inside the main room of the armoury. He wasn’t sure what it was like outside—whether it was still sunny, whether it was cool. He wasn’t sure about anything out there because there weren’t any windows in here. All he knew was that in here, they were safe. There was no way those infected were getting through the solid armoury doors. Even if they could, they’d give up soon enough. Move onto an easier target. Easier prey.
At least, he hoped so. He really hoped so.
The room he was in was big, wide, and towering. Guns were stacked up in racks. Some of them were locked up, so Shelley was doing what she could to track down the ones that weren’t, any loose ones that they could take. Hayden was sitting on his own at one side of the room. Opposite him, Amy by her side, Miriam sat.
He felt a lump in his throat when he looked at Miriam. He felt there were still things he needed to say to her. He didn’t want her to look at him like he was a monster. But he knew she’d seen so much that it wasn’t exactly something he could debate about.
She’d seen Martha die, and she blamed him for it.