by Robyn Grady
Sitting an arm’s length away, she turned to him. He turned at the same time. Their eyes connected and Maddy felt drawn to him as she had been so many times before. It was as if her body knew the danger to Beau was past and now it was time to get back to other unresolved matters.
But that wasn’t happening. To go there again with Jack would only complicate what had been settled well enough. They’d shared one night. She wasn’t about to make it two, even if she suspected Cait had made herself scarce for precisely that reason.
When his gaze dropped to her mouth, she felt more than saw him lean nearer. A violent tug of war kicked off in her mind, in her heart, and, panicking, she flung up both hands.
“Jack, please…let’s not do this.”
He stopped, nodded gravely. “You’re right.” He slid over. “Let’s do this.”
He dragged her against him and his mouth claimed hers. Astonished as well as instantly, unspeakably aroused, she pushed against his chest but Jack didn’t budge. In fact, he drew her closer, kissed her deeper, and soon, rather than pushing, her hands were flexing and rubbing, wanting to get beneath his shirt.
She was barely aware of being carried from the lounge to his room. When he set her on her feet, their clothes came off in a flurry while they twirled and stumbled their way over toward his bed. His mouth on hers, he blindly threw back the covers and, breathing labored, swept her up and laid her down, not in a gentle way.
Curled over her in the shadows, his shoulders expanded as he inhaled a hungry breath and apologized. “I’m being too rough.”
She hauled him down. “I won’t break.”
Their mouths crashed together again, and every time his tongue swept around hers, it stroked and teased the wild surge building inside her, a delicious quickening of her blood that left her panting and clinging to his arms, to his hips. When his erection stabbed her belly, she threw him off and swung on top, her thighs spread and clenched over his. Hair spilling across her face, she slowly arched above him and, teasing, grazed the sensitive tips of her breasts over his chest.
It was as if she were acting outside of herself. Released from their cage, her animal instincts had taken over and every part of her could focus only on satisfying the spiraling aching need he stoked so deep inside.
She’d never felt like this before. On fire. Everywhere. Incinerating.
His hot hands cupped her hips and shifted her up then ground her back down. His expression was an uneven mix of darkest lust and burning appreciation.
He craned up and wrapped his lips around one nipple. He tickled the tip with his tongue and, sighing, she gripped his head.
“Guess it’s been building up,” he murmured, tugging at her tender tip with his teeth.
She groaned and writhed. “Only to atomic proportions.”
They rolled again and he pinned her beneath him. When he entered her—when she felt him fill her until he hit that throbbing unstable spot only he knew about—she gasped then bit her lip and focused. How could that wave reach so high so fast?
He moved again and she gazed up into his eyes with a helpless, keen fascination. All the fine pieces of the universe were hurtling toward her core. The sublime pressure was contracting around that single, bright pulsing light. When he hit that spot again—when he unleashed the critical power that made her so completely, purely his—she drove her spine into the mattress and cried out. A heartbeat later, he followed her over the edge.
When the stars faded, they were both damp with perspiration and out of breath. Yet, as she brushed the hair from her eyes, still humming all over, she had the urge to laugh. She’d never been so out of control in the bedroom. Never so out of control in her life. What a racket they’d made.
Thank God Beau was fast asleep and Cait wasn’t around. Maddy hadn’t known lovemaking could be so raw. So beyond anything she’d ever experienced.
After kissing her again—long and slow this time—Jack blew out a satiated breath. “We won’t be able to get away with that kind of noise when he’s older.”
She went to agree but then the deeper meaning behind that statement soaked fully through. Fazed, she glanced across. His expression was easy yet half speculative.
He’d known what he said. How was she supposed to respond? Especially now when every fiber that made up her mind and body buzzed with such bone-deep satisfaction.
Where did they go from here? How did they go from here?
A noise filtered down the hall. They both stilled then sprang up.
“Beau.” She flipped back the sheet. “I’ll go check.”
“You’ve barely left his side today. It’s my shift.” His finger stabbed the air. “That’s an order.”
She nodded and watched him drag on his shorts and stride away. She heard Beau squeak, the muffled rumble of Jack’s voice. Then nothing. Slowly her muscles relaxed and she lay down again. Put her hand behind her head. Eventually closed her eyes.
She woke with a start and squinted at the luminous digital clock. After midnight.
She looked across and found she was alone in the bed. Where was Jack? How was Beau? She strained to hear. Had the baby had a relapse?
She swung Jack’s shirt off the floor and, in a hurry, punched her arms through the sleeves. But the room was dark and unfamiliar. On her way to the door, she tripped over something that might have been a boot and landed hard against the drawers.
Pressing her lips together, she swore under her breath. Damn. Her little toe felt broken.
Rubbing her foot, gritting her teeth to control the pain, she slowly straightened. A stream of moonlight was beaming in through a crack in the curtain. On top of the drawers, illuminated, that silver framed photo leaped up to greet her. At the frame’s base, a gold circle shone in the moonlight. Holding her breath, Maddy reached to touch…
A wedding ring.
She’d seen this photo the day she’d arrived but everything had moved so fast tonight, she hadn’t thought about it when he’d swept her in here earlier. How would things have played out if she had remembered? Because now she didn’t feel the least bit sexy or impulsive. She felt like an intruder, particularly given that Jack still wore the matching gold band around his neck.
His words echoed in her mind.
When he’s older… Next time…
She wanted there to be a next time. And a next. But she didn’t know how she felt about making love with a man who still considered himself married the way Jack so clearly did. She certainly wouldn’t go there again with this photo watching over them.
A glow way off down the hall drew her eye. Giving her toe a final rub she limped toward it and eventually found herself in a room she hadn’t entered before… A large and lavish yet strangely cozy library, with a vast collection of spines highlighted in crafted wood bookcases.
In the far corner, Jack sat on a couch holding a book. She recognized the cover. She had the same edition at home.
He glanced up and found a smile. “You were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t expect you to wake.”
“So you thought you’d catch a few chapters of Jane Eyre?”
He grinned. “Sue loved reading, like you.” His gaze grew distant. “I figured I’d spend the rest of my days riding the plains during the day and looking over these spines at night.”
Her gaze filtered over the rows and rows of books. All Sue’s. Would she have liked Jack’s wife? Maddy tugged the oversized shirt around her naked body more firmly. She wouldn’t think about that just now.
She wandered over and took the book. “This is one of my favorites. The ending stays with you forever.” The fierce patriarch had been reduced to rely upon the loyal governess.
When she flipped to the back cover, scanned the lines and handed it back, he drew her down onto his lap and concentrated on the motion of curling hair behind her ear.
“Something Snow said the other night…it’s making a lot of sense. We’re good together, Maddy. Way better than good. And Beau needs a mother.”
She
predicted the bombshell about to hit. Overwhelmed, she lowered her lashes to hide her shock.
He was going to ask her to marry him? It was too amazing to contemplate. Just now she’d confirmed again in her mind that Jack still considered himself to be married. That he would always consider himself to be married to his deceased wife. Had she been wrong?
With a knuckle, he raised her chin and willed her to meet his somber gaze. “Maddy, I’m asking you to stay.”
The words took a moment to sink in. Not a marriage proposal. He was asking her to move in. He’d said Beau needed a mother. He wanted her to pull up pegs in Sydney and replant them out here?
Her voice was a hoarse rasp. “You want me to live at Leadeebrook?”
An image of that photo sitting on his bedroom drawers swirled up and her mind’s eye tunneled in on the delicate gold ring. Its larger twin lay shining on Jack’s bare chest now.
Her gaze jumped from the ring to the wall of books—Sue’s library. Sue’s room. Sue’s house.
She swallowed against a tight ache in her throat. “What about your wife?”
His eyes narrowed, as though he suspected she’d suffered a memory loss. “Sue’s dead.”
“But she isn’t to you. Not here.” Her palm covered the left side of his chest, her fingers brushing the wedding band.
The questions in his eyes cleared even as his jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. “You want marriage?”
“Oh, Jack, it’s not about that.” The way she felt—the problem this “offer” posed—it wasn’t that simple.
Although she couldn’t deny that the past few days, when she’d seen Jack being so good with Beau, she’d imagined them as a family. Perhaps with another child or two. But the more she’d thought about it, the more ridiculous it had seemed. First up, where would they live? His world or hers?
Yet in Jack’s mind he’d settled that point. He’d asked her to stay here. With the dust and the horse hair and the flies. Of course, there was a lot to like, as well…the history, the sunsets, the peace. But her life was so firmly entrenched in the city, she could think of only one response to his question.
“Why don’t you both come and live in Sydney?”
He winced. “You know the answer to that.”
She pushed off his lap. “Explain it to me.”
“Sydney’s fine. Beautiful city, as far as cities go. But it’s not home.”
“Not your home, but it’s mine.”
He stood, too. “I’m offering you a new home.”
She didn’t want a new home, not in the country a million miles from the nearest mall. Away from her friends. Her job. Her father.
She stopped and, torn in two, squeezed shut her eyes.
But Beau was here. Jack, too.
Her stomach knotted and she covered her hot face. Oh God, she had to think. And her thoughts came back to that little boy. Jack was Beau’s legal guardian. This was his home, like it or not. But one day he would grow into a teenager with a mind and a will of his own. Like Dahlia had.
“What about Beau?” she asked, dropping her hands. “What happens when he wants to see and live and experience life beyond these fences?” Did Jack want Beau to follow in his sister’s drastic footsteps and run away?
“When the time comes, he’ll have the best higher education available and that means Sydney.” His hands found hers. “But Beau is a Prescott. A male descendant. I won’t need to insist he stay because he belongs here, same way I do, like his grandfather and his father before him.”
She barely contained an astonished huff. “And the women don’t get a choice.” When he released her hands as if they’d burned, she hurried on. “I want to be with you and Beau. But how can I say I’ll stay when I have a whole life back home?”
He didn’t look impressed. “A whole life.”
“A job. Friends. You know.” She shrugged, exasperated. “A life.”
His shoulders squared and his eyes dulled. “Then you’ve answered my question.”
A deep dark cavern open up inside her. Damn his arrogant streak. What made him think the world revolved around him? Didn’t anyone else’s feelings or background count?
“Why is it okay for you to dig your heels in and not me?”
Detached now, he collected the book off the couch. His voice was a low drawl. “You can do what you please.”
Her mouth dropped open then she slowly shook her head. His about-face was so swift and definite, it left her dizzy. “I thought I could talk to you. Thought we were at last somewhere on the same page. But you haven’t heard anything I’ve said.” He was only prepared to listen to the voices of tradition and the past. All the ghosts that kept him here and wouldn’t him let go.
He slotted the book away, ran his finger down the spine. “If your job is more important—”
“That’s not fair.”
He spun around. “It’s not about being fair.”
Maddy staggered back.
He was just like her father, implacable, and just as hard to please. She was sick of trying. Tired of playing everyone else’s games.
“You might’ve put up your feet and retired, Jack, but I have a job, and it’s full time.”
He crossed his arms. “Is working for your father where you want to be?”
The question took her aback but she recovered. “It’s no different than you insisting you belong here.”
“I belong here because this is where my heart is. Is your heart in Tyler Advertising?”
“You grew up with shearers. I grew up with jingles and slogans. It’s all I know. My father took the time to groom me.” It’s what she’d told herself for years, and yet now she knew she was trying to convince herself.
“Your father will still love you whether you work for him or not. You don’t stop loving someone because they choose a different path from the one you’d wanted them to take.”
“But you might stop talking to them.” Like you stopped talking to Dahlia. And suddenly she had to know. She’d believed it a few days ago. Had things ever changed?
Despite shaking inside, she injected a note of calm into her voice. “Would you cut me off, Jack, if I walked away now?”
His eyes turned to ice. “You’d be the one leaving. Not me. I have no control over that.”
Maddy held her stomach. How could she argue? It seemed useless to try.
Every day he lived regretting that he hadn’t been able to control certain situations and people, and yet he’d let her walk away now without an argument. And if he thought that way, surely that validated what was obvious. Dreams were nice, but that’s all they were. She didn’t belong here. Even as much as she loved and wanted to be with Beau, there was simply too much against it.
Obviously Jack was of the same opinion because he drove both hands through his hair, holding them there before his arms dropped to his sides. When he looked at her again, his face was blank.
“So what about Beau?” he asked.
Her gaze landed on the Bible on a shelf behind him and a well-known story came to mind.
“Say I did stay. Beau and I would grow even closer.” When she waited, he conceded with a curt nod. “If it didn’t work out between us and I decided to leave, would you consider sharing custody?”
His presence seemed to swell and intensify before her eyes, like an otherworldly force taking on immeasurable power. But as quickly as it had surfaced, that tension left his body and a different strain appeared. Stubborn pride.
“No,” he said, no hint of remorse in his voice. “I’ll never give him up.”
Twelve
Jack was not in a good mood.
Two nights ago, he and Maddy had come to an understanding. Of sorts.
He’d dealt his hand and had asked her to stay. She’d countered with the obvious: she couldn’t give up her lifestyle. Why was he surprised? You could take the girl out of the city, but…
He kicked his heels into Herc and the horse galloped harder.
Dammit, he was better of
f without her.
The sun was rising as he rode Herc into the yard. He yanked up so hard on the reins, hooves ploughed up a swirling cloud of red dust that filled his lungs. He swung out of the saddle and his boots hit the ground with a thump.
If he were lucky he’d have missed Maddy’s early departure. That would be best. Everything there was to say had been said. He had Beau. His memories. His station. If he had to say goodbye to her… Ah hell, he’d said goodbyes before.
He clapped Herc’s flank and the horse reared off into the stables.
When he spun around, she stood at the bottom of the steps. Jeans, white top, pale hair pulled off her flawless beautiful face…so beautiful, he could barely breathe.
Emotion—both raw and bleak—booted him in the chest. Coming back to earth, he stuck his hat more firmly on his head and strode over.
“Thanks,” he said formally, “for staying with Beau when he needed you.”
“Thanks,” she said, just as blandly, “for letting me stay.”
Neither looked away. It was as if whoever broke first, lost. Or maybe it was because this was truly the end but there was still that maddening urge to carry her back inside and lock her in until she came around. A hundred years ago he might’ve done it.
The thought was still hovering when the sound of an engine in the quiet morning pulled his head around. A dusty Yellow cab groaning up the ruts.
Cait appeared at the top of the steps, the baby propped in one arm. She descended as if she were performing a funeral march. On top of everything, he didn’t need that. The cab braked at the same time Cait joined them.
She tried her best to smile. “Baby Beau wants to say goodbye.”
Maddy’s slim nostrils flared but she managed to smile over the moisture filling her eyes. She cupped the baby’s face, her hand pale against his cheek, and brushed her lips over his brow. “Be good, Beau darling.” Jack caught her barest whisper, “Remember me.”
She didn’t look at Jack as she turned toward the opened cab door and slid inside. And then she was gone. In the cab, down that endless track. She didn’t look back. Not once.