by Sue Watson
‘I want that too,’ I say quietly.
There’s a pause, then Alex says, ‘Hannah. There’s something else I need to tell you. About Helen.’
Chapter Twenty
Alex turned up five minutes ago. I’ve made us some tea and he’s sitting with his head in his hands in my living room. I take the two mugs in to where he is and put them down on the coffee table.
‘So, what did you have to tell me that wouldn’t wait until tomorrow?’ I ask.
‘When Helen called last week, she suggested we meet for lunch, say a proper goodbye.’
‘You already told me this,’ I say, getting impatient. Whatever it is Alex was so desperate to tell me, I need to know.
‘But the thing is she’s now bombarding me with texts and messages, Hannah. She even sent… naked pictures… It’s like she’s obsessed – I think she’s losing it.’
I take a breath. ‘Oh God.’
He looks at me helplessly. ‘I’ve spent the last twenty-four hours worrying about it, and whether or not I should tell you. I didn’t want to worry you.’
‘I’m glad you told me.’ I sigh, almost wishing he hadn’t, I’m not sure I can deal with any more revelations.
He shakes his head. ‘She keeps saying she’ll do something stupid, and I’ll be sorry.’
‘It sounds like she needs help.’ I pull the throw around me, horrified at the way this is playing out. ‘If she contacts you again threatening to do something stupid, perhaps you could gently suggest she calls a therapist, talks to her GP.’
‘Hannah, you don’t understand, when she said she might do something stupid – she wasn’t talking about hurting herself, she was talking about hurting you.’
‘You’re kidding me, right?’ Jas’s mouth is open. After what I’d told her on Saturday at the Christmas market, she’s doubting my sanity at going back to Alex anyway. But now I’ve just said his ex is threatening to do something to me, she’s horrified, standing in our work kitchen in shock.
‘Wow. Just wow, Hannah!’ She hits her forehead with the heel of her hand. ‘What’s wrong with you, honey? He never told you he was married, he called you a bitch, he got jealous of an ex he’s never met… He even accused you of having something with Harry!’ She says this so loudly that Harry – who happens to be walking past – pops his head round the kitchen door.
‘Who’s having something with me?’ he says hopefully.
Jas laughs. ‘Hannah’s ridiculous boyfriend thinks she’s having a secret thing with you – which is ludicrous. No offence, Harry, but I mean, the very idea!’
‘Offence taken.’ He laughs and, grabbing a cup, makes himself a tea.
‘You seem to think this is a bloody joke. It’s like you’re really getting off on it, Jas,’ I say accusingly.
‘Not at all. I just knew there was something about him from what you told me. And there it is – he’s married!’ she announces loudly, and Harry, who isn’t actually that interested, joins in with a whistle followed by a sympathetic, ‘Shit!’ while the kettle boils.
‘And that isn’t all,’ she adds, oblivious to my discomfort. ‘His psycho wife is now hunting our Hannah down and wants to hurt her.’
I pull an awkward face at Harry, wishing Jas wouldn’t tell everyone everything, and he looks at me with genuine concern.
‘Are you okay, Hannah? I mean, I know I joked about him being a serial killer – but it sounds like his wife might be.’
‘Yeah. I just hope it’s all talk, the heat of the moment – you know?’ I mumble, not happy to be starring in the office drama.
‘Sounds unhinged to me.’ Jas is shaking her head.
‘Have you called the police?’ Harry asks.
‘I was going to. I had the phone in my hand to call them straight away. But Alex said to leave it for now. The thing is, she’s a solicitor, any police involvement and she could lose her job, and then she might be even more of a problem.’
‘Shit,’ Harry murmurs, putting three sugars into a mug.
‘Alex knows where she is at all times,’ I explain. ‘He has an app attached to her phone or something from when they were together. He knows where I am too, so if ever she’s nearby he can at least warn me.’
‘Hang on! WTAF?’ Jas is open-mouthed for the second time in this conversation. ‘He’s tracking you and his ex-wife, and you’re scared of her?’
‘It’s not as sinister as it sounds, loads of people do it – friends follow friends – it’s about keeping safe,’ I offer.
‘That’s how the tech companies sell these apps, but how they’re used is a different thing.’ Harry raises his eyebrows.
‘Well, I know Alex is using it to make sure I’m okay,’ I say defensively.
‘I’m with Jas, I’d be more scared of him,’ he says. ‘And if you ever want me to take that app off your phone, just let me know. Gemma would go ballistic if I put one on hers.’
‘She’d be right to go ballistic. It’s a digital dog lead,’ Jas says, shaking her head, while waiting for Harry to pour the now boiled water on her green-tea bag.
They’ve made me feel really uneasy about this – surely Alex is just watching out for me. ‘You guys are so dramatic – I’m glad Alex knows where I am,’ I add in a small voice.
Jas looks at me like I’m crazy. ‘You really have lost it, Hannah. Have you moved all your cups back into the right kitchen cupboard?’ she says, before turning to Harry and filling him in on Alex’s nocturnal tidying. ‘He basically moved all her stuff around, reorganised her kitchen. She can’t find a bloody thing. Only he knows where everything is – and that’s how he likes it.’ She clicks her fingers and wobbles her head.
Harry shrugs. ‘Actually, in his defence, Gemma’s the same. She’s always tidying stuff up at mine. Sometimes, I’m actually glad when she goes home for the night.’
‘You see,’ I say to Jas, ‘he’s just tidy, that’s all.’
‘Yeah, but this wasn’t just tidying stuff up, was it, Hannah? This was creepy – all the labels were facing the same way!’
‘It’s not creepy, it’s tidy,’ I repeat defensively.
‘That’s not what you said on Saturday, you said it freaked you out.’
’Yeah well, I was pissed off with Alex then, but now I’ve forgiven him,’ I say, kicking myself for having shared that with her.
‘You need to padlock those cupboards next time bae is in your crib!’ she says, which makes me and Harry laugh. She loves to use the teen language we all hear from our clients. She’s now rummaging at the back of the cupboard looking for biscuits. ‘Oh shit, he’s been here too,’ she says. ‘Your Alex has let himself in and tidied away the bloody biscuits.’
Harry’s still giggling as he takes his mug of tea and wanders back into the office, where Sameera will no doubt be briefed on the latest headline regarding Hannah’s ‘weird’ boyfriend.
‘Joking aside, I’ll make sure the others keep an eye out – we all will, mate,’ Jas says as we leave the kitchen together. ‘We work with hormonal teens, so the psycho ex-wife is a day in the park, isn’t she guys?’ she calls to Harry and Sameera, who, as I suspected, has already been briefed.
‘I’ll hold her down and you can kick her,’ Sameera offers. ‘Seriously though, Hannah, it sounds dreadful – you should call the police.’
‘We just need to see what happens,’ I say. ‘She hasn’t actually done anything yet, probably just trying to get Alex’s attention.’
‘Do you know she hasn’t done anything?’ Jas asks.
‘Yeah… I’d know if she’d tried to grab me in the street…’ I start.
‘When she says she’ll hurt you though – she might not mean physically.’
‘Oh God!’ The flowers and the vile card.
‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’ Jas says.
I nod.
‘What’s everyone thinking? Can I join in?’ Harry jokes.
‘Oh, Harry, do keep up – it’s probably the psycho ex-wife who sent the flowers a
nd the note calling Hannah a whore,’ Sameera explains.
I don’t respond. I hadn’t thought of that, but it isn’t impossible. If Helen had been aware Alex was seeing someone before she met him for lunch, she may well have sent the roses – perhaps the note was a warning.
Jas looks concerned. ‘Mmm, well, I don’t want to scare you, but you need to be on your guard. I don’t want to be reading about you in the Sun this time next week,’ she says, before we head into her office to discuss Helen and the ways she might hurt me.
I don’t know why I’m buying into Jas’s drama. I think I just have this need to explore the possibilities so I can be prepared. Over the next twenty minutes we assess Helen’s current state of mind, theorise about her childhood and come to the conclusion she’s straight out of the narcissist’s playbook – none of which is based on fact or any knowledge of the woman.
‘What does she look like, is she good-looking?’ Jas asks.
‘Not that you’re superficial or anything. It’s useful to know just how attractive your best friend’s stalker is.’ I roll my eyes. ‘But yeah, she’s attractive.’ I sigh and try to describe her. But then I realise she’s a lawyer who works – or worked in the area – and given that they aren’t yet divorced, I google ‘Helen Higham’.
I soon find her on Whitney and Partners Solicitors – a small company out on the road to Malvern.
‘She’s still using Alex’s surname then?’ Jas says as I hold up her picture on my phone.
‘Yes, they’re only separated at the moment, but even when they’re divorced she could keep his name – Higham – as her surname,’ I point out.
Jas screws up her eyes and brings her face closer, then she moves back with eyebrows raised and a strange expression on her face. ‘She’s very familiar,’ she says, this weird half smile on her face.
‘What? Oh shit – do you know her?’ I ask, dismayed.
She looks right at me, still smiling. ‘You can’t see it, can you?’
‘No, what?’
‘She’s the spitting image of you.’
I take my phone off her and look at the photo again. It’s difficult to see yourself in someone else, but I know what she means, there’s definitely a likeness.
‘Well, Alex certainly has a type,’ she says. ‘And don’t take this the wrong way – but it isn’t necessarily a good thing that you look like her.’
‘Why?’
‘Oh, love, I hate to say it – but that might be why he chose you.’
‘You think I’m a substitute for her?’
‘Who knows? Presumably he saw your photo on the app, saw you looked like his ex-wife and—’
‘Or he just has a type.’ I repeat her original theory, trying to dampen her drama.
Jas raises her eyebrows. ‘He might. But at the moment, that’s not even the real issue. Does Psycho Queen know where you live?’
‘No. Alex said he’d told her about me, but that’s all.’
‘Because he knew she’d react like a mad bitch?’
‘I don’t know, I hope not. He says she’s just upset, and she’ll be fine once she gets used to the idea.’ I say this with all the conviction I can muster, but in the back of my mind I wonder if he’s just playing it down so I’ll stay calm.
‘Either way, best be safe than sorry. If I were you I wouldn’t stay at Alex’s right now – stay at yours a couple of nights, until you know the score.’
‘Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.’
‘I mean, you could be in his place, snogging on the sofa, you look up and she’s standing over you both with a kitchen knife.’
‘Thanks for that, Jas,’ I say sarcastically. She’s just joking, but I feel sick. ‘It’s an empty threat. She’s a solicitor. She isn’t going to ruin her career to break into another solicitor’s house,’ I say, ‘even if it is her ex’s. I’m sure it’ll all be fine,’ I add, though I’m not sure at all.
‘Do you want me to come and stay at yours with you?’ Jas asks. ‘I’m working late, but I could come over about nine – we could order takeaway. I’ll bring the gin. It’ll be like old times.’ She smiles.
‘Thanks, love,’ I reply, ‘but I’ll get Alex to stay at mine, he would have a better chance at fighting her off,’ I joke.
She looks disappointed, so to soften the rejection, I smile and say, ‘Once everything’s calm, you and I must go out.’
‘Whatever, but just be careful. Yeah?’
With that, I leave her office, imagining that vision of Helen and the glint of a blade.
Chapter Twenty-One
I spend the next two hours setting up a safeguarding plan for Chloe Thomson, and after lunch, Alex calls me.
‘Hey,’ I say, glad to hear his voice.
‘I’m missing you more than usual today.’ He sighs. ‘Did you pop out somewhere for lunch?’
‘Yeah, I just bought a sandwich, ate it at my desk.’
‘Ahh, I wondered what you were doing on Foregate Street, I saw you on my phone.’
Thank God for technology. I don’t care what cynical slant Jas wants to put on it, he can see where his ex-wife is, and where I am at the same time. And that’s fine by me if it means he can prevent something horrible happening.
‘Is everything okay, do you know where she is?’ I ask, feeling on edge just thinking about her at large in the same city as me.
‘She’s in the town centre.’
‘At work? Whitney’s Solicitors?’
‘How do you know where she’s working?’ He seems a bit put out.
‘I googled her.’
‘Hannah, just leave this to me and I’ll make sure you’re safe, don’t go seeking her out, you must be careful,’ he says.
‘That’s the second time today someone’s told me to be careful. What do you think I’m going to do, run round to her office and ask her if she wants a fight?’
‘Who else said be careful?’ he asks.
‘Jas. She thinks I’m not taking the threat seriously enough.’
‘What? I can’t believe you’ve discussed this with Jas. Bloody hell, Hannah, do you have to tell her everything?’
‘No – but if your ex-wife is on the rampage and says she wants to hurt me, I need my friends to know, so they can be on the lookout. She might find out where I work and turn up here brandishing a bloody knife.’
‘She won’t, but promise me, if – if she ever makes contact, don’t talk to her. Don’t engage with her, don’t… don’t tell her anything. She doesn’t know your name, and I certainly don’t want her knowing where you live, or anything about you. Be careful what you put on social media too.’
‘Okay, okay.’ The panic in his voice is making me even more jittery.
‘And don’t bother with the police. Call me if you’re worried; the police won’t do a damn thing. Remember I know, I work with them.’
‘So do I, sometimes, and I’m sure they’d do something if I called and said a woman who’d said she intended to do me harm was following me.’
‘Hannah, will you please trust me on this? And don’t get the police involved,’ he snaps. ‘Look, I’ve got to go, I’m due in court.’
I put down the phone, feeling very uneasy. Why doesn’t he want me to call the police? Surely my safety would come before her career – or his for that matter. I know it wouldn’t be good for a solicitor to be embroiled in such a drama, but I’m not messing about. If I feel threatened in any way I’m straight onto the police. And I also feel perfectly justified in telling Jas and the others about the situation. What if Psycho Helen befriended one of them, or turned up at the office?
‘He’s scared to death of you making any kind of contact with her,’ Jas says a little later when I tell her about my conversation with Alex.
‘Yeah, because he doesn’t want me to get hurt, she’s very unpredictable.’
‘Mmm, so he says. I wonder if he just wants to keep you two apart for his own reasons,’ she replies.
‘Like what?’ I ask.
&n
bsp; ‘I don’t know.’ She sighs, putting her feet up on the desk. We’re in her office, it’s almost the end of the working day and she’s filing her long red nails. She looks nothing like a senior social worker. Jas used to be the singer in a band when she was at uni – I didn’t know her then, but I’ve seen photos. She’s very attractive now, but back then she looked fierce. She still has that ‘Who Runs the World?’ energy about her. ‘I mean, what he’s saying makes sense. When you’re lying in bed at 4 a.m. and hear someone breathing heavily at the bottom of the bed, do take his advice and not engage with her. No small talk, no chatting about the weather or who your money’s on for Strictly this year.’
Even in my darkest moments, she can make me laugh, which I do now. I’m not saying the prospect of Helen standing at the bottom of my bed in the middle of the night doesn’t freak me the hell out, but Jas has this way of easing the tension.
Later, I call Alex and suggest we stay at mine tonight, but he says he’s working late and wants to go home to make sure the house is okay ‘after everything’.
‘You’re right to stay at yours though. I don’t want you alone at mine, she knows where that is,’ he says.
My stomach does a little somersault.
‘I could come over when I finish, but it might be late – after ten,’ he adds.
I can’t believe Alex’s timing. He does sometimes work late, but having plunged me into this nightmare, I wish he was around to support me. I’m reluctant to be alone tonight, but I can’t ask Jas over, then pack her off as soon as he arrives. I have lots to catch up on here, and Harry and Jas are both working late tonight, so I decide to stick around. I’d rather be here with them than home alone with Helen at large. So I sit working at my desk for a couple of hours. When it gets to nine o’clock, the other two are still hard at it, but I’m so tired, I decide to leave. I check my ‘meal for two’, still in the fridge from last week. I had vague hopes of resurrecting it for tonight, but when I take it out the lid’s opened and what looks like sour milk has dripped into it. And someone’s laid a huge carton of orange juice across the cheesecake slices and smashed them. I give up on the idea of a romantic dinner. It’ll be too late anyway by the time Alex finishes work tonight.