“It’s Coke,” she said, seeing my wary glance to the glass.
I thought I’d need something stronger than that, but perhaps Rebecca just didn’t know much about humans.
She looked down at the floor and then over to the glass. “My”—she shook her head, almost as if she wanted to convince herself to talk —“my mother used to give me Coke growing up for upset stomach and when I was sick or upset. I thought maybe you could use something.”
I blinked, shocked that the comfort I desperately needed had turned up in the form of Rebecca.
“Thank you,” I said. “Amanda brought me Coke for my stomach, too.” I felt a stabbing at my heart, but didn’t start crying again.
“I lost my entire family when we were all turned. A vampire named Mathias came into our small town and turned almost everyone. For some reason my family was slaughtered instead, but he saved me. Seeley and Gabriel are all I have left.” Rebecca’s eyes turned glassy as she spoke, lost in her own memory.
“That’s awful,” I said.
“He was—is—a bad man.” Her eyes were cloudy, but she turned back to me after a second’s pause.
“Did he pay for what he did?’ I asked.
Rebecca scoffed. “Hardly. He’s the vampire king of Europe now.” She brushed off the thought of Mathias, though, and retuned her focus to me. “My point is, I know what it’s like to lose everyone. At least everyone who is actual family. But you have Henry, and your roommates still.”
She scrunched her nose for a moment, like she wasn’t sure what to say. “And you have us. Given who you are, that may not be much to you, but we’ll be there to take Marissa down, and figure out what’s going on.”
I watched Rebecca, suddenly sorry for her. She was around my age, meaning she had been through something very similar at the same time in her life. I watched her, waiting for her to look at me, and when she did, I gave her the best smile I could.
She rose from the couch. “Henry will be here any minute, I’m sure,” she said, turning to leave. She paused once more. “I learned a long time ago that the enemy wins if they can make you think you’re alone. So, just know that you’re not.” She nodded at me and walked toward the back of the house.
I took a sip of the Coke she brought, and it brought a smile to my face. I wasn’t thirsty, but it’s amazing how our senses can tie us to memories so strongly. I remembered Amanda sitting with me over and over whenever I was ill, bringing me a Coke. I smiled, cherishing the memory Rebecca’s kindness allowed.
I hadn’t even heard the door open, but I heard Henry’s voice and ran to him, dodging Seeley to throw myself into his arms. The tears came again, and I let out a sob that even his neck and shirt were unable to stifle.
“I’ll give you some privacy. Kellan and I are going back to see…” he trailed off, and Henry nodded.
I pulled away, turning to face the others.
“See what?” I asked.
“See what’s left at your aunt’s house.” Seeley lowered his eyes.
I swallowed, hard. “Is it safe?”
“We’ll be fine,” he said, looking at Kellan as he spoke. Kellan looked at me at last, grimly and attempted an encouraging nod.
“Please be careful,” I whispered, watching Seeley as he turned to leave the house.
“Come on, Jules.” Henry took my hand, leading me inside the house as Seeley and Kellan walked out the door. Seeley didn’t look back once. I wasn’t sure why he was distant, when he must know I needed him more now, not less.
I turned to see Henry watching me.
Suddenly, I felt lost. I looked around with no idea of what to say or what to do. I was scared, confused, angry, and wanted Henry to talk to me about Amanda and my past, but at the same time, I just wanted to cry and be held and drift away from everything.
Henry held out his hand to me, which I took and sat next to him. He pulled me into his chest, and I curled my legs up in a ball as I leaned against him. I lay there, listening to his steady heartbeat. No more tears were coming, but I was aware of an eerie numbness taking over. I both craved and feared it.
“She told me,” I said. “I know who I am. And I know you know as well.”
Henry’s breathing paused for a moment, but then he brought his hand up and ran his fingers through my hair in a soothing, repetitive way. He didn’t say anything.
“She told me that you found me with someone at Falcone and that my parents asked her to take me. She told me who my parents were.”
Still nothing was said.
“Henry?” I asked.
He sighed. “There’s more to your story. But with everything that’s happened, I don’t know if we should talk about this now, or if you just need someone here for you to grieve for a while,” he said calmly.
“I just want to rip it off like a Band-Aid and go from there. I can’t draw this out.” I pulled myself into a seated position. “First, will Abbey and Vanessa be okay?”
Henry nodded. “They think you’re leaving school for personal reasons and going to your aunt’s. It’s believable, and I don’t think Falcone will push them. Although, Abbey’s going to be the hard one to convince if you don’t keep in some kind of contact with her throughout everything,” he said.
I knew he was right. While Abbey’s parents were alive, she was treated like they weren’t. We were her family, just like she was now part of all that remained of mine. There was one issue taken care of and at least Falcone wouldn’t murder them thinking they were hiding me.
“So…” I said, looking at him.
“I guess I’m up,” he said. He took my hands in his.
“We grew up at Falcone together. We were friends even back then.” He smiled, but it was forced. “Marissa was always fascinated with you. One day, I couldn’t find you anywhere. I started searching and heard some technicians running around talking about a child they were testing. I panicked and found you, strapped to a lab table. Marissa was trying to run tests on you, probably to try to get the genetic makeup of a hunter. She’s always wanted more power, and thought you’d be easier to take on than your parents, I assume. I never really found out more, and I was so young at the time. I got your parents, who had been in an all-day meeting, and they were furious. They took you home that day, and I never saw you again.
“That is until you walked into the library five years ago. You were looking for your Chemistry 101 book because you didn’t want to buy that one for some reason at the bookstore. When you introduced yourself, I knew it was you.” Henry looked down at our hands and smiled to himself.
“You didn’t remember me, and I didn’t know how much you knew about your past. After we got to know each other, I realized you knew nothing. When I spent winter break with you that semester at Amanda’s, she and I had a chance to talk. She told me how adamant you were becoming about working for Falcone, and how concerned she was. I knew your hunter abilities would be coming through soon. It’s just the natural occurrence of things. You had probably noticed some since childhood—you’re not easily injured, lack of bruising, quicker healing, better senses than most. Naturally, after everything that had happened when you were a kid, I was terrified if you were going to pursue Falcone that Marissa would realize who you were. So I…” Henry stopped and let go of my hands.
He stood and closed his eyes, pausing. First his hands were on his hips, and then they ran over his cheeks and mouth and then back to his hips. He started pacing but turned to look at me. He was flustered and extremely worked up.
“I knew I had to do something to make your hunter qualities lie dormant.” He watched me as he spoke. “I came up with a solution that dissolved in liquid and suppressed the evolution of that gene.”
“I’m sorry. What?” I said, scrunching my brow as I tried to comprehend what he’d just said. “How would you even know…”
“I used my father’s card to gain access to some of the files at Falcone and started running tests. Then after I’d taken some myself and knew they were safe fo
r consumption, I tried them on you.”
“You did testing on me? Without me knowing?” I flew up from the couch, furious. “What were you thinking?”
“Nothing I gave you was given to you until I knew it was safe. I personally tested everything on myself first!”
“But you aren’t a hunter. And what if you had gotten seriously hurt?” I was so angry I saw blackness creeping into my vision, something that I’d heard the expression for but never experienced.
“I would have done anything to make sure you stayed safe. Not just because of who you were as a Van Helsing, someone who could get rid of Marissa and take over what was rightfully yours, but because I’ve always wanted to protect you. You were one of the first friends I ever had,” he said. “I won’t apologize for doing whatever it took to try to keep your secret from her,” he concluded.
I shook my head as I shuddered. With everything else going on, I needed to hear the rest, but I was so angry I didn’t know how to move past this.
When I stayed quiet, he continued. “When Seeley showed up, that was the first time you were actually around a vampire. I don’t know if it sent your genes into overdrive, or what, but my formula stopped working as well, or perhaps the dosage was off.” He sat thinking before proceeding. “It’s why you’ve been getting headaches, had a change in reflexes, and everything else started to come out,” he said.
“How did you -” I stopped short. I didn’t even care how he knew anymore. “How were you giving whatever this drug was to me without me knowing?” I asked.
“Your coffee.”
I scoffed. “Then that’s why it stopped working. I wasn’t drinking your coffee as much.”
Henry’s eyes flashed with realization. “That would explain it then,” he said.
I watched him, trying to process everything I heard tonight. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“You can be mad all you want. Amanda agreed it was the best way to keep you safe. You were hell-bent on working for those monsters. You thought somehow it would connect you to your parents. Who were we to take that away from you with no reason? We did what we did to shield you from everything.”
“So I would never know who I was?” I asked.
“You’d know in time,” he said.
“Who are you to decide when that time is?” I yelled.
Henry sighed. “The people who love and care about you wanted to keep you safe. You can be mad at me all you want for that, Jules. I’d do everything again, except maybe tell you the truth sooner. Perhaps that would have prevented all of this, and I could have kept Marissa away from Amanda.” Henry’s voice hitched and I stopped.
The anger building in my chest disappeared, and I saw Henry’s torment. He’d been comforting me, but fighting had riled up his emotions to a point where he couldn’t hide anymore. I ran to him, wrapping my arms around him.
Whatever he had done, he and Amanda had done together. I’d never agree that drugging me against my will was right. But I saw what he was thinking in that moment. I knew Henry, better than most people. He was blaming himself. His comment about not having the right dosage once Seeley came around—he was angry and thought my abilities coming through and not being blocked had caused all of this. The blame would eat him up and consume him. Whatever he had done, I could never let him think that any of this was because of him.
“It’s not your fault. Amanda’s death is not your fault,” I whispered as I held onto Henry.
CHAPTER 13
When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in Seeley’s living room. I didn’t even remember falling asleep. I lifted my head slowly and looked around. I was in a bedroom now, alone, and light was just beginning to shine through the window to my left.
The last thing I remembered was Seeley and Kellan coming in. The vampires had both had a terribly hard look on their faces. I’d known what they’d found before they said anything.
I’d walked toward Seeley, approaching slowly. “Is she…” I couldn’t finish the sentence, and everyone had known what I needed them to say. I’d needed to hear it out loud.
“I’m so sorry,” Seeley had said, but he refused to make eye contact.
I’d felt like my surroundings were crashing down around me, and I was standing in an empty room. I stepped forward and crashed into Seeley, but he simply handed me off to Henry and walked away. After that, there wasn’t much worth remembering.
I snapped myself out of the awful memory from the previous night and rubbed at my eyes with my hand while swinging my feet over the side of the bed to sit up.
I walked over to the window and opened the curtain. The sun was setting, and I realized I must have slept all day. I rubbed at my face, disorientated. My world was imploding on itself, and there was nothing I could control anymore.
The door creaked open, and I watched Seeley lean in.
“Hi,” I said, quietly.
He stood there, looking extremely troubled. “May I.” He nodded into the bedroom.
“Sure,” I said, adjusting nervously.
He paused, looking around and not saying a word. He began to close the distance between us, but then caught himself. It was like he was stuck in an internal struggle he refused to let me in on.
He seemed to notice my confusion watching him. “I know perhaps I’ve seemed more distant. Now that we know who you are, it’s best if we try to be more…” Seeley hesitated and ran his hand up his arm as he leaned up against the wall of the bedroom. He looked like he was forcibly pulling himself away from me. “Professional.”
“Professional?” I asked slowly, mulling over the word before my anger got the better of me. “Good gosh, Seeley!”
I was snapping. Whatever he was struggling with made no sense to me. And now was most certainly not the time to be having this kind of conversation, at least not in my mind. “I don’t recall asking to have a talk about our status in the past twenty-four hours. I simply needed support. I found out I was a hunter, that Marissa murdered my parents, and that my aunt is dead. I didn’t need romance. I needed someone who cared. Clearly, that was asking too much of you to simply be a decent person,” I shouted.
His eyes flared at my accusation. “I’m exactly who I warned you I was. I can be emotional and rash. I told you that,” he said, defending himself.
“Acknowledging our flaws doesn’t mean we can just use them as a crutch indefinitely,” I bit back.
His jaw clenched, and he narrowed his eyes at me. “Look, we are going to be working closely together, Park— Jules,” he said. “You and I are supposed to be keeping peace in the territory. You would have to take action if I ever failed.”
I listened, flabbergasted. “And that means we can’t, what? Be together? Even with how we feel…felt?” I asked. Clearly it was felt because whatever had been there before was obviously fleeting. The lack of empathy and compassion during the past twenty-four hours was proof enough of that.
“Feel,” he corrected and then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. We have a job to do. It’d be problematic if your emotions got in the way of ensuring humans were safe from us if something were to happen.”
I laughed, but it came out sounding a little maniacal. But what he was saying sounded ridiculous after everything that had happened so far. “Are you planning on losing it sometime soon to the point where I should be worried? You have the vampires under control. It’s the hunters that need work,” I said. I walked over to him and reached out for his arm.
“There are other issues,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Like?” I pressed.
He seethed. “Like physical issues now I know you’re a hunter that I can’t ignore.”
I looked at him in confusion, but he shook his head.
“We can discuss this later. We’re going to get Gabriel tonight,” he said, changing the subject briskly.
I pulled back, surprised. I blinked a few times, trying to change my own focus, since this was pretty big news to me.
“Wi
th Marissa coming after you, we decided it was best to move quickly so that we can determine what the next best course of action will be against her.”
“That makes sense. What do I do?” I asked, awaiting instructions on the role I’d play.
Seeley frowned. “Nothing. You’ll be staying here.”
“After everything I’ve been through, I am not just waiting here, Seeley,” I said matter-of-factly. “You need my badge anyway.”
“I can use your badge without you there,” he retorted.
I reacted without thinking fully, pulling out a lie I prayed sounded good. “And how are you going to get past the fingerprint scanner?” I questioned. There was definitely not a fingerprint scanner, but he didn’t know that.
Seeley was deep in thought and looked concerned. He folded his arms across his chest.
“I don’t think it’s safe to bring you with us at this point,” he said softly.
“I’ll come and look out for her.” Henry’s voice came from the doorway to the room.
Uh-oh. I was sure Henry must know there were no fingerprint sensors. I looked at him and bit my lip, wondering if he’d give me up, but he eyed me, assuredly.
“I don’t need two of you to worry about,” Seeley said, storming out of my room.
What is his problem?
I ran after him and saw the others were gathered in the main living room. “What is really going on here?” I asked. “Why are you so angry with me all of a sudden? I can help you get your brother. I’ll stay out of the way.”
“I’m not angry with you. I’m being practical. You’re a distraction and a liability. We can get in and out more quickly without you,” he replied. “Henry let us know the best exits, and we’re ready for this. I didn’t realize about the fingerprint scanner.” He glanced over at Kellan and Rebecca.
Kellan furrowed his brow in concentration.
Rebecca shrugged. “So I guess she’s coming,” she said, unbothered by the idea.
“No,” Seeley growled.
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