Forever & Again

by Allie York

  LYDIA

  I knew that my time with Jacob would be amazing, but the next couple of months were like a dream. We started the process of changing Ollie’s last name to match his Dad’s. We started planning a wedding. Everything was working out, finally. After years of being alone, unfulfilled by life, I had a partner. Ollie had a dad, a damn good one. Life was absolutely perfect.

  The first round of noise made me jump and look around the dim room. The round window was barely letting any light in, so it was still too early. When I didn’t hear it again, I sunk back into the down pillows and backed into Jacob. He nuzzled me in his sleep and groaned a little. I had just drifted back to sleep when the banging happened again. I sat up, stretching and yawning. I tried to listen, but there was nothing. I started wondering what kind of fucked up dream I was having. Just as I started to cuddle up with Jacob, it happened again, and he bolted up in bed. I only had a week before school started back and some idiot was interrupting my sleep. Our sleep.

  Jacob groaned, mumbling something about assholes and I tossed him a pair of pants. Once we were presentable, the knocking happened again and we both went down the stairs. Oliver was in the hallway, rubbing his eyes. Jacob motioned us back and the banging came again. He jerked the door open, blocking my view, and a pair of arms came around his waist. Jacob stiffened and Oliver looked at me. William came behind us and rested his hand on my shoulder.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Jacob grumbled, stepping out of her arms. I had a clear view of her then. Her blond hair was in a messy bun and her light-brown eyes snapped to me.

  “I didn’t know what else to do.” She kept her eyes locked with mine for a moment before she looked at Oliver, then William. He squeezed my shoulder. It was then I realized that she was pregnant, very pregnant. “He looks just like you.”

  “You need to leave. I have had quite enough Tera drama for a lifetime. Today’s a big day for us and you need to go.” Jacob tried to back her out but my curiosity got the best of me.

  “How far along are you?” I let Ollie go and moved toward her, putting myself between her and Jacob. She looked at me, blinking back tears, and I got to study her closer. She was a little older than me, and was exhausted. Dark circles surrounded her eyes and her face was blotchy.

  “Thirty-three weeks.” There was no doubt in my mind that it was Jacob’s baby. She may have been sleeping around, but the look on her face, the timing—it was his. Jealousy ignited in me. She would show up the day we went to have Ollie’s name changed. I backed up into Jacob, making him move, and motioned for her to come in. Jacob slammed the door, mumbled about coffee, and took off to the kitchen. She extended her hand. “Tera.”

  “Lydia. This is my son, Oliver.” Ollie shook her hand too and we all followed Jacob into the kitchen. William went back to bed, leaving the four of us in the kitchen. Jacob handed me a mug and sent Ollie off to shower and get dressed for court.

  “You have really poor timing, Tera. We have court this morning, then we have to go take care of the name change. I can’t deal with your shit today. I can’t and I won’t.” Jacob glared at her, gripping his coffee cup. He had no idea, or simply refused to believe it.

  “I think you should listen to her, Jacob.” His glare moved to me and I gave it back. “Why are you here, Tera? We haven’t heard from the men after you in months, but I have a feeling the bookie isn’t why you’re here.” I got her a glass of water, ignoring Jacob’s heavy gaze and the suffocating tension. Insecurities hit me hard, but I kept my emotions in check.

  “Thank you.” She sipped the water. “The baby has to be yours, Jacob. He’s not Caiden’s.” Tera watched a drop of condensation roll down the water glass and explained that she knew she was pregnant when she filed for divorce, but assumed the baby belonged to Caiden. When he insisted on a paternity test, Tera gave her blood sample and Caiden gave his. They found out a few weeks later that Caiden wasn’t the father. Tera swore that it was him and Caiden, no one else. Jacob looked blank while he stared at his coffee, leaning against the counter.

  “And if I don’t believe you? So far you have cheated on me, left me, gotten me involved in some shit with your bookie, and now you’re here telling me that the baby is mine. Please forgive me for not believing a lying whore.”

  “Jacob!” I snapped at him, unsure of why I was defending the woman who was about to tear my world apart.

  “We are changing my son’s last name today, making him legally mine, and now I’m here being told I have another son due in a few weeks. How the hell do you expect me to react, Lydia? We’re planning a wedding, for fuck’s sake. Tell me you aren’t just accepting this?” His voice dropped into a growl and he narrowed his eyes further.

  “No, I’m not. But calling names and getting upset isn’t changing this. I’m trying to be realistic.” Our glares clashed and he looked away first. Ollie came back in, dressed for court, and I checked the time. “I’m going to shower,” I straightened Ollie’s tie as I left and stomped up the stairs, fighting back my tears. I knew Jacob would never in a million years abandon Ollie, but his ex-wife having his baby would certainly put a damper on our wedding plans and our relationship in general. Then there was the issue of the money she owed to the bookie. The woman had brought a plague into our happy little bubble. I had been realistic downstairs, trying to stay level-headed. The reality was that it scared the shit out of me. I slumped against the wall and slid down into the tub. It took a few minutes for the crying to start, but when it did, it was unstoppable.

  I didn’t notice Jacob coming into the bathroom, but at some point during my breakdown, he climbed in the shower and dropped next to me. I buried my wet face in his chest and let him hold me while I cried. Visions of him and Tera shopping for baby clothes filled me, fueling my meltdown. I wanted him to bond with his son, but I was selfish. I had every right to be. Ollie and I went too long without him and Tera was showing up to take it all away.

  We stood in front of the judge with Ollie between us and declared paternity, no test needed. It was way easier than we could have imagined. All Jacob had to do was agree that Oliver was his and it was a done deal. They were both thrilled. We filed the papers, signed the documents, and Oliver Kyle Reed became Oliver Kyle Teller in one afternoon. Jacob treated us all to dinner, inviting my entire family and even rented out a banquet room at the best Italian place in town. Neither of us talked about Tera. Jacob and I hadn’t actually discussed it at all. I had no idea what had been said between the two of them after I went up to cry in the shower. For a little while, we just pretended it was all okay.

  Ollie was over the moon. He went from person to person showing off his new signature and pretending to complain about remembering once school started back. The seeds of doubt were in the back of my mind, reminding me to keep my excitement to a minimum, but I put on a good face for Ollie.

  “So, what’s the custody agreement?” My mother came and took Ollie’s seat across from us.

  “We live together, there’s no custody agreement. In a few months, Lyd will have my last name too.” Mom loved Ewan and Julian, but was always going out of her way to push Jacob’s buttons. The poor guy was always overly nice to her about it too. Mom took little jabs constantly, but he threw them back at her with a smile and pretended it was normal.

  Mom realized she wasn’t winning the fight and moved on to more pleasant topics. Like wedding planning. It was still so surreal that he and I were getting married, making our family official. At least, it seemed like marriage was still the plan. I never imagined being a step-parent, but assuming Tera was having Jacob’s baby, I would be. We would have a newborn in our house, in our lives. Ollie would have a little brother that wasn’t provided by me. Jacob would have a connection with another woman, a tie connecting him to another woman forever. I swallowed the bile burning my throat and smiled at Ollie and Jacob taking selfies. Jacob handed his phone to Jove and had her take a family picture. It was the only thing I ever wanted, but the promise of a happy fam
ily was slowly slipping from my grasp.

  “All my girls will be married soon.” Dad cornered me when I came back from the bathroom. “Oliver certainly seems happy about it.” My father patted my back, letting his hand linger on my shoulder.

  “He is. He keeps talking about being a real family.” We watched Oliver and Ewan arm wrestle and Jovie talk with Reese.

  “Anymore grandkids going to happen?” He nudged me and I nearly choked. If Dad only knew. I ensured him that I was done making babies and went back to being a dutiful fiancée.

  Jacob started whispering to me about all the dirty things he planned on doing once we got home, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I knew it would happen. I should have told him that we needed to talk, that we had a lot to work out, but instead, I let his words crawl in and take root. When the words “eat your sweet pussy” came around, I was thankful to not have an orgasm in front of my entire family. He was trying to distract me from the drama at hand and was doing a damn good job. All during dessert, I listened to him whisper dirty words to me and you could have drowned someone in my panties by the time we were done eating. His hand creeping slowly up my thigh was not helping matters, either. I tried to cling to my sanity, but it was no use. Jacob moved my hand to the hard bulge in his pants and shifted to press it into my palm. At the rate the man was going, neither of us would make it home.

  Ollie talked about our date the next day. His first outing with us as a Teller, and begged us to let Jude and Mara tag along. Of course, we agreed and we sent him to bed so we could get an early start. Before wandering down the hall, Oliver hugged me, pressing his cheek into mine. “I’m sorry I was a jerk when you told me about Dad.” A tear slid down my cheek when Jacob joined our little pow-wow. I kissed Ollie and shooed him off to bed. His door had barely closed when Jacob grabbed me by the waist, threw me over his shoulder, and started up the stairs.

  “I can walk.” I wiggled, laughing when Jacob slapped my ass.

  “Won’t be able to tomorrow.” His promise made me bite my lip. Once we got upstairs, he closed the door and dropped me on the bed. “You have driven me fucking crazy in that dress today,” His voice dropped lower and he started undressing in front of me. I reached to help him unbutton his shirt, but he swatted my hand. Once my gorgeous fiancé was naked in front of me, he dropped down and pulled my sandals off, kissing up my leg and pushing my black dress up to my hips. Jacob tore my panties off and wasted no time licking my thighs. His beard added another level to pleasure when he found my clit and started sucking. Jacob had me seeing stars before I could blink. Without letting me catch my breath, Jacob flipped me over, dragging me to the end of the bed. Blunt nails dug into my hips and drove himself into me, filling me entirely and groaning.

  His hand slid down my spine to my hair and turned my head. “I want to see your face when you come.” Without letting go of my hair or stopping his strokes, he swatted my ass hard enough to make me squeal then kneaded the spot. My orgasm started mounting quickly and his thrusts got harder. “I want you to come with me.” The hand on my hip slid under and he stroked my clit, making me climax almost immediately.

  “God, Jacob,” I moaned the words and his grip on my hair tightened when I felt his release match mine. Jacob groaned, slamming into me again and I felt his hard body tremble over mine. I collapsed onto the bed when he unsnarled his fingers from my hair and Jacob stretched out next to me, gathering me in his arms. After a stint of silence, I went to clean up, turning the light off on the way. The man had done a damn good job of distracting me from Tera and that mess, but he couldn’t keep avoiding the conversation forever. Eventually, we would have to talk about it.

  JACOB

  Lydia sat next to me with Tera across from us at my dining room table. The envelope between us was about to ruin my life. Not that I didn’t want another son, but I wanted that with Lydia, not Tera. My ex was quickly approaching the thirty-six-week mark by the time the results came back, but I knew the answer. Lydia and I had gone back to work and Oliver started school the next week. We had submitted our blood samples and I sat with Tera during her appointment while a doctor measured and talked to her about delivery. There was even an ultrasound. The baby kicked and squirmed, making something in me warm. As badly as I hated the situation, I was going to be there and my son would never question my devotion.

  Lyd was putting on such a brave face. I hadn’t caught her crying since the early morning Tera had shown up and I tried to reassure her constantly that a baby wasn’t ruining anything. I knew things would change, but not with us. Tera may have been having my baby, but Lydia was the love of my life, my future wife. She was everything I wanted in life. Lydia was my forever.

  I slid my finger under the seal and pulled the paper out, unfolding it. It was insane how a single sheet of paper could alter lives so drastically. I didn’t have to read far to see the answers. Lydia read it over my shoulder and I felt her hold her breath as I slid the paper to Tera.

  “Now what?” I didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but I was too nauseated to care.

  “I guess we get ready for a baby. I resigned and cashed out my savings. I can’t go back to Virginia anyway. Gus is looking for me there. The monster has backed off of you at least. I have everything I need for the baby at my apartment.” Tera sighed, looking over the paper in her hand. I snuck a look at Lydia. She just stared at the table, not giving away anything with her reaction.

  “I guess we’ll start making arrangements here. We need to work out custody. I want it done in court, not amongst friends. You have fucked me over enough without trying to take my son and run from your bookie again.” I expected Tera to give me an indignant look, but she only nodded.

  “I have an appointment on Wednesday at four. Last ultrasound before he gets here. You should come.” Tera got up, using the chair and table to help her up. I wanted to look over her pregnant belly and think she was beautiful, but I didn’t. I only saw pain and lies.

  “What are you naming him?” Lydia pinned Tera with her gaze before she could get through the doorway.

  “I don’t know.” With that, Tera went on her way, closing the door behind her. Lydia and I sat in the silence for a while, just staring at the paper Tera had left on the table. I didn’t even know where to start. I was going to have a baby in my home in a very short time and had nothing, knew nothing. Yet again, I was being dragged into the game far too late.

  “I need to get dinner started.” Lydia moved to get up, but I pulled her into my lap and closed my eyes against her. Oliver would be home in less than an hour and I needed to get some work done. I had a lot to research. Car seats, cribs, bottles, and clothes came to the front of my mind. Lydia was upset, and justifiably so, but I needed her. I needed her help and her strength. I told her, too. I let every bit of fear come falling out into our laps. I was worried I wouldn’t have the time I needed, the help I needed. I was worried that Tera would try to keep him from me and I would be stuck paying child support without seeing my baby. I was terrified that it would drive a wedge between us, between me and Oliver. The kid was not going to take it well, but we couldn’t just not tell him.

  Lydia took my face in both hands and kissed me sweetly. “I’ll do whatever you need.” I knew those were not easy words for her to say, so they meant a lot. She was planning our wedding for November, just a few months away, and we were expecting a baby that wasn’t actually ours in a few weeks. The grandfather clock chimed and Lydia climbed off of me to start cooking. I flipped the paternity test over and started a list, asking Lydia what we needed. My fiancée was not thrilled about my line of questioning, but answered me with a forced smile. At least she was trying.

  Oliver came home right on time, dropping into his seat at the table, and immediately asked Lydia what was wrong. Her gaze met mine and Oliver looked between us, waiting and tapping his pencil on the table. There was no easy way to tell him that I had fucked up, again, so I just bucked up and let it out. “You know I was married to Tera before
I moved back here.” Oliver nodded. “You also know she’s pregnant.”

  “Brother or sister?” Oliver was too smart to let me finish. My son stared me down across the table, furrowing his brow and waiting. I told him it was a boy, “Are you and Mom breaking up?” The kid looked like he might leap across the table at me.

  “No way.” Lydia sat down and took his hand, “You and your mom are stuck with me, Kid. New baby or not, the wedding is still November third, but the baby is due in a few weeks.” Oliver took it better than I expected, but I felt like I just kept screwing his life up, adding more complications and drama.

  We made it through dinner and let Oliver finish his homework in his room before I pulled her into my lap at the computer in our room. She rested her face against my head while I typed, looking up the safest version of every baby item on our list, and texting Ewan occasionally for help. He was also being a champ about it, but I doubted the rest of her family would be. Ewan pointed me in the direction of a crib and a car seat while I loaded up my cart on Amazon. Lydia stayed silent while I spent hundreds of dollars in one click of the mouse, and I squeezed her into me. None of what was happening was fair to her, and I hated myself for asking her to stick with me through the shit storm that was falling on us. I couldn’t do it without her, though. There was no way I would have any idea what to do if Lyd wasn’t by my side, giving me guidance.

  Relaxing in bed, I told her about my plan to call an attorney in the morning to start on custody paperwork. Lydia was eerily quiet while I talked. I was excited, there was no denying it, but it all felt wrong. I was supposed to be rubbing her belly, talking to my baby through her shirt, but I was miles away and had no desire to touch my child’s mother. I switched gears, asking about wedding plans, but she only shrugged, refusing to answer me.

  “Lyd, please don’t do this. Please,” I took her face in my hands, “I’m sorry I’ve done this to you, made our difficult situation worse, but I can’t fix it.” I kissed her forehead, wanting to assure her that the baby wasn’t changing what she and I had. Things would change, but it wouldn’t change that she was my life, my light in the darkness, my soul mate. It killed me knowing I had hurt her, again.