by Alex Kidwell
“Victor….” Randall seemed to deflate, face turned away from him. “Please. Don’t, please. I can’t.”
Though initially baffled, Victor didn’t take long to get what Randall was asking. The man was barely holding it together as it was. He hardly needed Victor making it worse with his conversational fumblings.
“Sorry,” Victor apologized again. “I’ll, er, leave you to pack, should I?”
There was a pause, and Victor had turned to go when Randall’s hand landed on his arm. With no warning, Victor was pulled back, and just like that Randall was kissing him, hard, messy and desperate. “Stop apologizing,” he heard Randall murmur before his lips were caught again.
“I’m English, it’s a compulsion,” Victor said, baffled, before he was kissed again. That time he relaxed into it, tentatively grasping Randall’s arm in return. For a few moments, that was all there was. Randall kissing him like he couldn’t bear the thought of being apart, arms tight around him, completely cut off into their own world.
There was a laugh, a burst of conversation, the noise of the pack filtering back in. Randall pulled away, resting his forehead against Victor’s. Again, so softly, he said, “I can’t.”
There were so many meanings to that that Victor was having trouble telling them apart. He supposed it wouldn’t be too hard, though. Randall had made his reasons for not being with Victor quite clear, and however much Victor wanted to protest that he’d come to a few realizations, it wasn’t nearly enough.
“I know.” It pained Victor to have to pull back, but any more contact and he wouldn’t want to let go. “I understand.”
“I should go,” Randall murmured, but for once, he wasn’t running away from Victor. “Edwin is a terrible packer. I’ll have to redo his bag or not everything will fit.”
“That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.” Victor smiled faintly. “And…. I know you already refused my offer of help. But if you ever do need anything, I want you to remember that you can call me.”
“Randall!” Edwin came charging up, grabbing his brother’s arm. “Come on. We have to go talk to the Gray Lady before we can go, and Anthony’s trying to lift stuff.”
A very tiny sigh escaped Randall, but he nodded, rubbing a hand through Edwin’s hair and half smiling when Edwin immediately reached up to fix it. “Okay. I’m coming.” He glanced back at Victor, and for an instant Victor was certain that there was something there, some moment that was nearly born. But in the end Randall just turned away and followed Edwin toward the other side of the camp.
That didn’t mean Victor was going to give up on him, however.
Unfortunately, since the Lewises were leaving and Jed would most likely want to know about it, Victor was faced with the daunting task of waking Jed up to tell him the news. He hardly kept tabs on Jed’s sleep schedule, but he was fairly sure Jed hadn’t gotten a lot of it lately. Still, someone would need to wake him up.
He watched Randall walking away for a moment longer, then walked in the direction of Jed’s tent. Unsure of what the proper protocol for waking people in a tent was, Victor awkwardly loitered outside for a few moments. Then, gathering his courage, he stuck his head inside.
Well, at least Jed and Redford were merely sleeping.
“Wake up, both of you,” Victor said crisply. “There’s urgent news.”
“You had better be on fire.” Jed’s grunt came from where he was half buried under the blankets, wound around Redford like some form of octopus.
“The Lewises have decided to return home,” Victor replied. “Permanently.”
Redford gave a confused groan and just tugged Jed in tighter, apparently thinking he was dreaming some kind of horrible nightmare in which Victor was disturbing their pleasant rest. Victor did feel a bit sorry for waking them, but he could hardly let them sleep through the Lewises’ departure.
“Are they on fire?” Jed muttered.
“No, Jed. Shall I light myself on fire to get your attention?” Victor was going to continue, but he was distracted by Jed throwing his lighter at him, hitting Victor in the chest. “Ow! Bloody hell, Jed, you needn’t resort to violence.”
Jed apparently accepted the fact, not very graciously, that Victor was not going to go away. Rolling over, he peered blearily over toward Victor, looking completely rumpled and out of sorts. “Okay, princess, what the fuck.”
To say Victor sighed would be putting it mildly—to be more accurate, he released an exhale of pure exasperation. “The Lewises are leaving. The treatment isn’t working for Anthony, and they see no need to remain.”
Jed poked Redford’s shoulder. “You get that, Fido?”
Redford made a pitiful noise that might have translated to yes.
“They’re going to see the Gray Lady now, so you have some time,” Victor informed them. He squinted in the dimness of the tent, frowning at the sight of clothes, supplies, and weapons shoved up against the edge of the tent walls. “Goodness, you’re even messy in a tent.”
He ducked out before he could get anything else thrown at him—objects or innuendo both. However, bereft of things to do, Victor wound up sitting a short distance from the tent, waiting. Jed tumbled out of the tent first, hopping up and down as he tugged on one boot, a toothbrush clamped in his mouth. Redford followed him a few seconds later, a thick jacket with a fake fur hood lining pulled up around his chin. Both of them still looked utterly exhausted.
Jed spat out his toothpaste, passing a bottle of water to Redford after he rinsed his mouth. While Redford brushed his own teeth, Jed ducked back inside the tent and emerged again with a heavy leather jacket.
It was so utterly domestic that Victor should have found it sickening. He would have found it sickening before. Now he felt a tug in his chest, a faint little spark of yearning. That was new.
Before Jed did anything else, Redford was pulled into a quick kiss, the two of them talking lowly, arms wrapped around each other. Victor could just hear Jed murmuring good morning, smiling at Redford’s return whispers. Hand in hand, they walked over to Victor, Jed leaning against Redford’s shoulder.
What would that look like for him and Randall, if Randall took him back? Victor couldn’t help but try to picture it, tentatively testing out the idea. Perhaps he would bring them both tea in the morning. Maybe Randall would smile and point out the pillow creases on Victor’s cheek. Maybe their Saturdays would be spent doing nothing but curling up on couches and reading or watching the television.
Of course, that was a very isolated view of it. Edwin and Anthony would be in the picture too. Victor couldn’t quite imagine that right then, but what he’d pictured of just him and Randall seemed quite interesting.
“Are we trying to talk them into staying?” Jed asked as they approached Victor. “Or just throwing a bon voyage party?”
“The latter,” Victor admitted. “They’re right. They won’t get the treatment Anthony needs, here. Cedric has apparently given them some contacts that are in the know and work for hospitals.”
“Animal hospitals?” Jed smirked widely, apparently very pleased with his joke.
Victor didn’t dignify that with a response. “Besides,” he continued, “you know how well trying to talk a wolf out of anything goes: not very well.”
A wide grin spread across Jed’s face, and he leaned over to kiss Redford’s cheek. “Damn straight.”
“And what about you?” Victor asked. “With them gone, your original job is too, and you’ve trained the pack well enough. If O’Malley stays true to his word, they’ll be safe. I suppose you’ll be leaving as well.”
Jed exchanged a glance with Redford. “We’ve been talking about it, yeah. Kind of up to Redford, really.”
“I think it’s time,” Redford agreed. “I kind of miss our apartment.”
“You sure?” Jed actually was actively asking Redford for an opinion. Victor wasn’t sure if he should check the man for a fever or take video for evidence. “This has been good for you, babe. We can stay longer if
you want.”
Redford shook his head. “Been, past tense. I think I’m okay now. Or…. I’m getting to be okay. The rest is just up to me.”
Jed just squeezed his hand, studying Redford’s face in silence another moment. “Okay, then,” he nodded. “We’ll pack up and leave tomorrow morning.”
Where that left Victor, he wasn’t sure. He hadn’t been here for a worthy cause like the Lewises, and he hadn’t helped the pack like Jed and Redford had. But he had promised the children he was teaching that he would finish reading for them, and Victor did hate to stop halfway through a book.
“Is there any way you could give me the name of a contact that would be available for transportation purposes?” Victor asked. “I may not leave when you do, and I don’t know anybody in the area.”
“Why don’t we leave you the van?” Jed wrapped an arm around Redford’s waist. “I know an old army buddy coupla towns over, owes me a favor. He flies these little corporate jets around. I was thinking—” He grinned at Redford. “—if you wanted, we could fly back. Just you and me in an airplane. You can sit by every window in the place if you wanted.”
“Really?” Redford’s eyes went round in excitement. “What kind of plane?”
“Little private jet, probably. Depends on what he’s got in.” Jed’s smile only grew wider. “Eight seater, maybe, where you can see right up to the cockpit. It flies so fucking fast, Redford, you’re going to get to see everything.”
Redford nodded rapidly, as excited as a kid in a candy store—when suddenly he faltered, the anticipation dropping from his expression to be replaced with doubt. “Wait, but you hate flying.”
“Yeah,” Jed agreed in a rumble. “But you loved it. I’ll live. Flown in a lot worse before, and I trust Mac to get us there in one piece. Hell, he dropped me off in planes that were practically falling apart, rattling around us, dead of fucking night. I think he can get us home.”
Victor was just glad he hadn’t received that invitation. He wasn’t as bad a flier as Jed, but he still hated it. Jed’s description of bad flights had him nearly feeling nauseous. “Just don’t get in a crash,” Victor said. “Strangely, I’ve become attached to the two of you being alive.”
Jed shot him a look but, thankfully, apparently didn’t feel the need to mercilessly mock Victor. “We’ll do our best not to die in a fiery explosion, princess.” He looked vaguely green around the gills the longer they talked about flying. “Solid advice, because that actually was on the agenda.”
“Maybe we could go see the Gray Lady with the Lewises, then,” Redford suggested, patting Jed on the back to relax him. “We may as well tell her we’re leaving at the same time.”
“Hopefully, she doesn’t try and make us take home a parting gift.” Jed grimaced and rolled his shoulders. “Those little fur balls follow me goddamn everywhere. If one of them tries to stow away in our bags, we’re taking it to the pound.”
Victor snorted delicately. “You could just admit that you like them.”
“Shut your dirty mouth, princess.” Jed’s grumbling and stomping protests did little to fool anyone, though. He’d been more than happy to hang out with the younger members of the pack. On more than one occasion, Victor had watched Jed play hide and seek with all the wolf pups, completely content to be the slow, smelly human that they all tracked so easily. He would miss them, despite his denial.
Victor knew the feeling.
They walked to the Gray Lady’s tent, arriving just as the Lewises were speaking with Mallory about entrance. Victor wasn’t sure if he could really bring himself to look at Randall with their most recent conversation still heavy in his thoughts. Instead, he let his gaze wander over toward Mallory, who looked more than a little exasperated at the new arrivals that would no doubt also be asking to see the Gray Lady.
“Oh, come on, Mal, just let us all in. You know she already knows we’re here.” Jed clapped Mallory on the shoulder and ignored Mallory’s protests as Jed led the way into the tent. “Your Ladyship, you have guests. Hope you’re not naked.”
Ladyship? Victor silently disapproved. Next Jed would be referring to her as mothership and thinking he was the most hilarious man on the planet.
“You should be so fortunate.” The Gray Lady’s voice was dry. She was seated on a bed of pillows and furs, several wolf puppies playing at her feet. “You simply wouldn’t be able to handle the sight, I’m afraid.”
“Ma’am?” Anthony sounded rather single-minded right then, ignoring the banter. “Randall, Edwin, and myself are leaving. I can’t thank you enough for the aid you’ve given us and for taking us in, but it’s time for us to go back home.”
After sitting silently a moment, the Gray Lady cocked her head. “So, I was right,” she mused. “You are just like your parents.”
“It’s not that we don’t like the pack,” Anthony hastened to say. “We’d probably even be staying if circumstances were different. But we need things that the pack can’t provide.”
“The point is, you are leaving,” she pointed out, tone inflexible. “You are endangering the pack. Lone wolves are never a good idea, little one. Look at what happened the last time.”
“We’re not lone wolves. We’re a pack of three, and you let smaller packs live by themselves just fine near you,” Anthony replied. He’d folded his arms over his chest, a distinctly defensive gesture.
“You were a pack of three before. Then four. Then five. And still the hunters came.” The Gray Lady shook her head. “You would put us all at risk. You are sick, young wolf, and you will not last through a harsh winter. Every instinct I have is telling me to make you stay.”
“I won’t last here,” Anthony said bluntly. “You don’t have the medical supplies. I’m grateful for everything you and your healers have done, but it’s become clear that I need a hospital and a proper doctor. By not letting me leave, you would kill me.”
“Please.” It was Edwin, taking a step forward, showing his throat. “Please, let us go. We just want Anthony to get better.”
“That is why you came to us, if I recall.” The Gray Lady stood, eyes snapping. “And I told you, did I not? That our help would extend only if you became part of this pack. Now you’re asking to go.”
Anthony twitched, like his instincts were telling him to back down when that was the last thing he wanted to do. “We’re not asking,” he said simply. “I’m telling. The healers here just don’t have the capability to help me. It doesn’t matter whether I’m really part of the pack or not.”
Beside Anthony, Jed shifted a bit, eyes darting between everyone. It was a small tent full of very tense wolves. Even Randall looked as though his hackles were up. “Oh, we’re going too,” Jed added, raising his eyebrows. “Just, you know, while we’re talking about it.”
Victor raised his hand. “I’m actually staying for a few more days,” he announced. Since the Gray Lady didn’t so much as look at him, he assumed she didn’t really care about him as much as she cared about the wolves.
With a low growl, the Gray Lady stopped any further discussion. Eyes narrowed, she glowered at all of them in turn. Edwin actually shrank back behind Anthony at the force of her glare. “I will not hold you here,” she finally said, teeth gleaming in the low light, lip curled. “Go back to whatever is so important beyond our domain. But do not come here again unless I summon you.” She stood, dismissing them. “And little Lewis?” She held Anthony’s gaze. “For that, I would not hold my breath.”
“I’m sorry,” Anthony murmured. He backed away rather than turning and walking, his head bowed. Victor had never seen a wolf do that, but since he assumed he didn’t need to do the same, he just nodded at the Gray Lady and walked out properly.
All three of the Lewises were looking rather miserable when they finally got outside. The Gray Lady’s thunderous disapproval was clearly weighing on them. Redford had a touch of it in his own expression, but Jed looked completely unbothered.
“That went well,” Redford sighed.
<
br /> “It did,” Jed agreed with a smile, arm around his shoulders. “No one’s dead, maimed, or bleeding. I call that a win.”
“I guess we should keep packing,” Anthony said morosely.
“We’ll be home soon.” Randall squeezed his arm. “We’ll be back in our own beds, at the lake, and you can lay out in the sun all day while we get you rabbits for stew. Just focus on that.”
Anthony nodded, visibly attempting to gather his courage once more. “Right. Okay, if we get packing we can start driving home by midday.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Victor saw Jed and Redford exchange a quick glance, Jed giving a quiet huff of air and an almost imperceptible nod to whatever Redford’s pleading gaze was asking. “Jed and I are getting a plane, actually,” Redford said. “You could join us? It’ll be a lot faster.”
“That would be great,” Anthony said gratefully. “Really. When are you leaving?”
“Whenever you want. A couple of hours drive to get to Mac, but once we’re there, he’ll take us where we need to go. He owes me a coupla three favors, might as well cash them in now.”
“I’ve never been in a plane,” Edwin said, eyes going wide. “What’s it like?”
“Don’t ask me that question,” Jed grunted. “I plan on being very drunk for it. Let’s just put it that way.”
“It’s really fun,” Redford assured. “You can see the tops of clouds, and everything looks really tiny.”
“I liked it,” Randall said quietly, hands in his pockets. “Um, on the way there it was kind of boring, really. The way back was… much nicer.”
Victor smiled at the mention. On the way back from Cairo they had shared a flight, and Victor had found Randall’s company entirely pleasant. Though they had both been battered and bruised and bandaged, they’d talked far longer than Victor normally spoke with people. He had not been in the best mood, considering that he and David had broken up in the parking lot, but Randall had lifted his spirits a little.