Thane chuckled at her determination. If Maple Leaf was going to bomb on the VCRP list, he wanted it to bomb first-class. No other nursing home in Virginia could claim that an Indian uprising had kept them from the number-one slot. “It’s okay, Nancy. I take full responsibility.” He pushed open the doors and ushered the coalition into madness.
A young nurse with eyes as big as saucers was standing on a chair, mumbling. A group of male residents, wielding hatchets, broomsticks, and bow and arrows were standing protectively in front of a cluster of female residents. Two ladies were sitting with their feet propped up stringing beads, and a nurse was passing out cookies and juice.
A thunderous commotion was going on in the back of the room. Thane spotted the director on his hands and knees looking under a table. Someone else was on the other side, and two orderlies were bent over giving advice.
“This way! No, not that way, this way!”
“Watch out!”
Thane and the coalition walked over to inspect what was happening. “What is it?”
Ada, who was half-blind, sat at the next table crumbling her cookie into little pieces. “It’s a cat.” She dug through the pile of crumbs looking for something. “All this fuss over a little kitten.” Finding nothing of interest in the pile, she started to mash another cookie. “Babies. All of them are babies.”
Thane looked at Paddy, who was sadly shaking his head at Ada. It wasn’t a cat, and an elephant wouldn’t fit under the table. So that left at least a hundred other possibilities. Prepared for anything, Thane bent down and glanced under the table.
Shock resounded through his body. The green eyes of the woman he loved anxiously stared back at him as she straddled a two-foot-long iguana. What was Autumn doing here? Understanding dawned slowly as he gaped at Autumn and then glared at her ugly companion. She had done exactly what he had feared she would. Singlehandedly she had toppled the sterling reputation of Maple Leaf.
Chapter Ten
Autumn heard the bell chime over the door and continued to sand the biggest piece of furniture in her shop-- a massive oak rolltop desk. Hours of back-breaking work had kept the tears at bay, but now they threatened to spill at the thought that it was probably Thane who had just entered.
Thane pushed aside the curtain and wrinkled his nose at the smell of paint stripper. She really should be in a ventilated place when working with chemicals. He leaned against the jamb and watched the way she attacked the desk with a crinkled piece of sandpaper. Her hair was tied back, and she had replaced the blue sweater she had on at the home with an old flannel shirt. “You left the home in a sure-fire hurry.”
She kept her gaze trained on the desk. “Didn’t see any reason to hang around.”
Thane winced. He deserved the coldness in her voice. He had been stunned to discover Autumn at Maple Leaf and in the middle of the chaos. By the time he had come to his senses and realized she wouldn’t have initiated what was now being referred to as the Great Uprising, she was gone. “You missed the best parts.”
“It got better?”
“Turned out Hartman, one of the members of the coalition, had had a pet iguana when he was a kid. He was crazy about our friend Shelby.” He anxiously shifted his weight. “Lillian wrapped Doctor Griffin around her little finger. He spent two hours with the ladies showing them how to thread the beads so that it made an authentic Indian pattern.”
“That’s nice.”
“Wilson gathered up a handful of braves and went searching for the missing turkeys.” He frowned at her and closed the distance separating them. “Dammit, Autumn, aren’t you going to say anything?”
She raised her head. “It’s over, Thane.”
“Over? What do you mean over?”
“Us. You know, our fling.”
“Fling!” Thane roared.
Autumn flinched. “Okay, our affair.”
“Who in the hell are you kidding? What we had wasn’t an affair or a fling.”
“What would you call it?” Autumn asked.
Thane tried to calm his rapidly building panic. “It is the beginning of a relationship.”
“Was, Thane, was.” Afraid to see his expression, she looked down at the desk.
He started to pace. “You’re willing to call it quits just because for three minutes I thought you brought a lizard into the home?”
It would have been so easy to lie, to lay the blame at his door. “No.” A coward she might be, but she was an honest coward. “I realized love, respect, and responsibilities go hand-in-hand.”
Thane stopped in his tracks. “You think I don’t respect you?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “No, Thane. It’s me who’s lacking in those departments.”
Hurt, he cupped her chin and looked into her face. “You don’t respect me?”
“Lord, no.” She gently grazed his cheek with the back of her fingers. “You’re wonderful, kind, talented, and a magnificent lover.”
He captured her hand and held it against his jaw. “I’m not liking the sound of this.”
Autumn moved back a step. “I’m not the woman you want.”
“How do you know what I want?”
“I might not know what you want, but I know what you deserve.” She took another step backward. “You deserve a woman who’s loving, settled, knows her own mind, is brave and strong enough to handle her responsibilities.” She took another step and held back the curtain for him. “I’m not that woman, Thane.”
He didn’t move a muscle. Somewhere in the past month he had missed something terribly important. Autumn was all those things she said she wasn’t-- and more. She was going to be the woman who would stand by him for the rest of his life.
Autumn felt her resolve begin to crumble. If he didn’t walk out of her life within five seconds, she was going to throw herself into his arms and make his life miserable. “Please, leave and don’t make it any harder than it already is.”
Thane ran his options through his mind. He could refuse to leave and push her to the breaking point, which she seemed about to reach. Or he could retreat for the time being, and try to put the pieces together. He was not a betting man, but he knew he was holding two aces. First was Paddy. He was at Maple Leaf and couldn’t be moved without a doctor’s release. Second, and more important, he knew Autumn loved him. He didn’t understand what she was doing, but he never doubted her love. “Okay, I’ll leave.” He walked over to her. “But I’m coming back.”
He cupped her face between his palms and hungrily gazed at her mouth. “I love you, Autumn O’Neil.” He bent his head and kissed her. He broke away and walked out of the shop when he felt her heated response.
Autumn stared at the empty door and allowed the tears to fall. He was gone. She had done it. She had purposely pushed the man she loved out of her life before he found out the truth. That afternoon when Thane knelt and looked under the table, his eyes had held disgust, and she knew that look would be repeated when he found out she was a coward. If she wasn’t worth the name O’Neil, how would she ever measure up to the name Clayborne?
#
Two days later Autumn was busy rearranging baby items, when the bell over the shop door softly tinkled. She glanced up, half hoping, half dreading it would be Thane. She chuckled as a six-foot white rabbit blissfully walked into her shop carrying a large wicker basket. Thane had to be behind this latest visitor.
The day before, a delivery boy had dropped off a brightly wrapped box in the morning. Inside had been an authentic grass hula skirt, with a card that bore just one wore: Practice. Then the previous evening, at two minutes before closing, a clown waltzed into the shop. Without saying a word, he proceeded to blow up oddly shaped balloons, then twisted them together. He finally handed her a balloon turkey and a card with the words Missing you.
Autumn stood up and walked to where the rabbit was curiously looking around. “May I help you?”
The pink-nosed rabbit handed her the basket and bowed.
She gazed at the ex
pensive rose-colored linen napkin covering the contents. “Is this for me?”
The bunny nodded and headed out the door.
Autumn placed the basket on the counter and watched as the rabbit skipped down the sidewalk out of sight. She carefully lifted the napkin and cried out with delight. Dozens of bright orange carrots filled the large basket. They weren’t run-of- the-mill carrots, packaged by the pound, that she could buy in the grocery store. These were top-quality, long, perfectly shaped beauties. Thane had sent her gourmet carrots. She saw the slip of white card nestled among the vegetables and pulled it out. First-class carrots for my first-class lady.
She wiped the tears forming in her eyes. She refused to cry again. The waterworks hadn’t stopped since he’d walked out of the shop Monday night. At the rate she was going, she’d be dehydrated by the time her family arrived the following day. Thane wasn’t playing fair. He was supposed to walk away, thankful for his near escape, not send her sentimental gifts that any other woman wouldn’t understand.
Autumn glanced at her watch. It was after three, and she had a list of things to do a mile long. Food shopping for eighteen people wasn’t going to be easy.
#
Delicious smells of roasting turkey filled the kitchen. The television was blaring a football game, and kids were running through every room in the house. These were the same sounds and smells of every heartwarming Thanksgiving from Autumn’s past. These were also the cause of the headache that had been pounding in her brain like a tom-tom since her family had arrived only two hours before.
“Are you all right, dear?”
Autumn washed down two extra-strength aspirins with a glass of water. “Just a little headache, Mom.”
“You look piqued. Have you been sleeping all right?”
“I’m fine, honestly.” Silently asking for help, she glanced at her sister-in-law Sharon.
The petite auburn-haired woman came to her rescue. “She is probably tired. I bet she was up all night stuffing the bird and getting it ready for the oven.” Autumn and her three sisters-in-law had an agreement to defend each other from her mother’s constant-- and nerve-racking-- mothering.
“Why don’t you take a nap?” her mother said.
“I think I’ll go take in some fresh air instead.” Autumn was aware of the worried looks that passed between her mother and Sharon as she walked out of the kitchen. Wondering what they thought, she plucked eight-month-old Patrick from the bottom step of the staircase and handed him to Colin. With a lithe movement she caught the football flying through the air and glared at the twins. “Football is not allowed in the house. If you two want to play, go out back.” She handed the ball back to a sulky Dylan, stepped over her brother Bain, who was sleeping in the middle of the living room floor, and went out the front door.
Autumn sat down in the white rocker and sighed. She shivered as a breeze blew. She was cold, but not enough to go back into the confusion to get a jacket.
“Want some company?” Her father came out, handed her a jacket, and, not bothering to wait for an answer, sat in the other rocker.
Autumn smiled. “Thanks.” She slipped on the jacket and slowly rocked back and forth. Her father was a giant of a man, who could strike terror into the hearts of every criminal walking the streets of New York. The men in his precinct respected his fair judgment, admired his cunning and logic, and feared his temper. To her, he was a huge teddy bear and one of the men in her life she always tried to measure up to.
“Are you happy here, honey?”
Autumn studied the worn toes of her sneakers. If he had asked that question last week, her answer would have been, “Ecstatic.” But today, she didn’t know how to answer. “I guess so.”
Her father frowned. “I’ve been sleeping better lately.”
Concerned, she glanced at him. “I didn’t know you were having trouble sleeping.”
“Have been for years.” He looked off into the distance. “Five years, to be more precise.”
“Five years!” Was her strong father ill?
“The trouble started the day you graduated from the academy and were hired by the force.”
She was incredulous. “You didn’t want me to join the force?”
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want you to join, I just thought it wasn’t the right choice for you.”
“Because I’m a coward and couldn’t live up to the O’Neil name?” There, she had said it.
Her father stopped rocking and stared. “Lord, Autumn, where did you get such an idea? You a coward?” He chuckled at the very thought. “I’ve seen you tangle with your brothers. I also seem to remember pulling your butt out of more trouble because of some fool-hardy dares they issued you. If ever there wasn’t a coward, honey, it’s you.”
“Dad, don’t you understand, I failed.” She looked away. “I couldn’t pull the trigger to save my own life. What would have happened if it was my partner’s life on the line? Would I have been able to do my job?” She shuddered, then felt the warmth of her father’s hands cover her cold ones.
“It takes a certain kind of person to knowingly take another person’s life. It takes a hardness of the heart. I’m not saying you have to be heartless to be a good cop, but you have to be able to put a distance between you and the criminal.” He squeezed her hands. “I’m glad to say you don’t have one iota of hardness in you. I knew it five years ago, and I lived in fear of it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“The day you were born, your mother and I made a vow not to interfere with your life. It was the same vow we made for each of your brothers.” He stood up and opened his arms.
Autumn jumped up and buried herself in his embrace. He wasn’t upset she left the force. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”
A chuckle rumbled in his chest. “Those words are music to my soul.” He lifted her chin. “All I ask is that you be happy.”
Autumn forced the image of Thane from her mind. “You’re not upset that an O’Neil isn’t on the force?”
He frowned and glanced at the closed door. “Between you and me, there’s still one too many O’Neils on the city payroll.”
She followed his gaze and guessed correctly. “Bain.”
“You were born with a gift for drawing, which, I might add, I always tried to encourage. He was born with the powerful gift for words. Where I got such talented children is beyond me.”
“Rory and Colin can sing a mean duet.”
“Hmmm, that leaves Donald.”
Impish delight danced in her eyes. “Six years of marriage and his wife is expecting their fourth child. Really, Dad, do you have to ask?”
Her father’s hearty laughter filled the house as they opened the door and walked back in.
Autumn went on upstairs, found an empty room, locked the door, and flopped down on the bed. She looked at the ceiling and mulled over patches of conversation she had had with her family. Her brother Donald wanted to know when she was going to enroll in art classes and Dylan and Douglas, the twins, asked if she could draw a Ninja Turtle. Her mother had wondered if there was a certain man in her life. When Autumn had hesitated over how to answer, her mother calmly said she had found a pair of man’s trousers in a closet and had pushed it to the rear so that her father wouldn’t discover it and have heart failure. She had kissed her mother’s cheek in gratitude.
Looking back on the past, she realized that only her stubbornness had gotten her through the police academy and five years of police work. She had been so busy trying to live up to the O’Neil name, she had failed to realize how unhappy she had been.
A great weight lifted as she came to peace with herself for quitting the force. She wasn’t police material, and there wasn’t any reason to be ashamed of that. People weren’t born into a career, they grew into it.
For the first time in twenty-seven years she asked herself what would make her happy. Every one of her brain cells shouted, Thane! Her family still loved her, but would Thane? To dese
rve his love and respect, she needed to start with the truth. Maybe it wasn’t too late.
Autumn jumped off the bed and headed for the door. She glanced at her watch; it was time for the Thanksgiving meal. She hoped her father had remembered to get Paddy. Where would Thane be, at the home or at his apartment? She hurried down the stairs, praying her family would forgive her for not joining them at the table after all the trouble they went through to get the entire family together.
She rounded the newel and skirted a Lego tower in the hallway. “Mom, Dad, I have to go out for a—” Her feet skidded to a halt. Thane was standing in the crowded kitchen being introduced by Paddy to her mother and sister-in-law.
Her mother turned toward her. “You said something, dear?”
“Ah, no. It wasn’t important.” What was he doing here?
“Autumn, you must know Paddy’s doctor, Thane Clayborne. He was kind enough to drive Paddy over and accept our invitation to stay for dinner.”
Thane reached out and shook Autumn’s numb hand. “Ms. O’Neil and I have met.”
Paddy, who was sitting in a comfortable chair surrounded by his great-grandchildren, started to choke. Autumn snatched back her hand when everyone turned to look at Paddy. “Yes, we have.”
Thane grinned at Autumn. “It’s very kind of you to make room for one more.”
“No problem, there’s plenty to go around.” She debated whether she should throw herself into Thane’s arms and kiss him senseless in front of her entire family or go along with whatever game he was playing.
“Hey, Doc, come on out here,” Donald shouted. “There’s only ten minutes left on the clock.”
Bain yelled, “Yeah, leave the womenfolk alone so they can get back to work.”
Thane coughed at the look of disgust on Autumn’s face. “I guess I’ll go join the menfolk.”
Autumn caught how her mother’s calculating glance landed on Thane and slid down the length of his body. Autumn hid her grin behind a hand. Her mother was judging what size pants Thane was wearing. “Please excuse me, I need to attend to some womanly duties.”
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