“No. Hello, sir. Do you like ponies?”
“Yes, actually, you and I have something in common, my boy,” replied Mr. Collins. “I had a marvelous pony when I was small. A little Welsh mountain, he was, and white as snow. His name was Llanarth.”
“What happened to him?” Jackson asked.
“Well, naturally a chap gets too tall for a pony, doesn’t he? So, we sold him off.”
Clarice gathered everyone into the dining room, just as Eleanor was coming downstairs.
“Well, upon my word! Mr. Collins! What a lovely surprise!”
“Hello, Mrs. Membry. You’ve been well, I hope?”
“Oh, my, yes. And you’re looking fit as a fiddle. Oh! I’ve made a good joke!”
Everyone laughed and took a seat around the table. Eleanor was about to speak, but her voice was lost when the air was punctuated with shrill sirens.
“Grams, the fire engines!” Jackson yelled. He peeled out of his chair and ran to the window. Red light revolved around the walls of the dining room as the trucks passed by, headed for the high street.
The meal was forgotten on the table, as everyone followed Jackson out the front door and into the front garden.
“Oh, no,” Jane whispered. The black billowing smoke was coming from the area where she and Mr. Collins kept shop. “You don’t suppose?” she said, turning to Mr. Collins.
Tears shone in his eyes.
Chapter 12
Billy showed Serena his sparsely furnished condo. “It’s really just a place to crash and keep guitars,” he said, pulling out a chair at the table for her. “But I can make up for the bad decoratin’ with my cookin’, don’t you worry.” He fixed up a tasty frittata, opening a jar of homemade salsa to go on the side, compliments of his mother, and he even remembered to snip some fresh chives and cilantro from the neighbor’s overgrown pots at the edge of their patio. After the zesty breakfast, he surprised her with another delight: a motorcycle ride.
“Oh, Billy, this is great. I haven’t been on a motorcycle since high school!” She eased onto the seat behind him, fastened the helmet he gave her, and enjoyed the best part, which was having an excuse to hold him tight. They headed out of town and about fifteen minutes later Billy parked the bike at the entrance of some nature trails. The sun’s rays were hot, but it was cooler in the woods. At times the trail would narrow, and he would take her hand and lead. Walking was good therapy. She would chat and he would listen. Then she would grow quiet again, trying to remember the last day she’d spent doing something this aimless and fun.
After their walk, he took her for a short ride to a BBQ place that seemed to be popular with the locals. The screen door sceeched softly when you opened it and everyone let it bang behind them. Country music was playing, and there were lots of families eating together.
“How does this work, exactly?” Serena asked. Billy laughed, and pointed out a picnic table in the shade. “You just go park yourself over there, and I’ll handle everything.” He walked up to the long counter and placed their orders.
Billy returned to her a few minutes later with a whole loaf of supermarket white bread, two baskets of food mounded on red-and-white checked wax paper, and bottles of water.
He placed a basket in front of her. “Smoked trout. Ever had it?”
“No, I don’t think I have. At least not like this!”
Serena stuck her fork into the tender fillet. Not fishy. Not too smokey. Just right. She smiled at Billy in appreciation.
“You’re just full of culinary surprises, aren’t you?” She teased, taking a slice of bread from the bag.
“Well darlin’, when you don’t smoke, chew, drink, do drugs, or chase low women, you eat.”
“This is really great. It really is,” Serena’s voice broke.
“You all right, honey? Do you want to wrap this stuff up and get outta here?” Billy’s face showed his sincere concern.
Serena laughed, embarrassed. “No, no. Actually, I am just really happy. I haven’t had a day like this in a long time. You know, just hanging out.”
“You know somethin’ that always stuck with me, Serena? This really smart doctor I knew told me that we’re with certain people because of how those people make us feel. We think we’re doin’ so much for them, but what actually keeps us with ’em is that we like the way we look to ourselves, through their eyes.”
“Hmm. That’s pretty profound. I am not sure, exactly, how it applies to me and Richard.”
“Well, I am wonderin’ who you are through Richard’s eyes, or maybe it could be he’s never really seen you.”
Serena looked blankly at her meal. “I think you’ve hit on something there. I think Richard saw my family, maybe my looks, my education, and my status at work. And I fit easily into his life. But he doesn’t see my dog. Or the new flower garden I made last year. We don’t like the same music.”
“And those parts of you are who you really are.”
“Uh-huh,” Serena agreed. “Those are things that are personal, and he only likes the things about me that go on a resume, or that people in our circle know about me. Of course he doesn’t reject me, he’ll try to sympathize when I have to leave Taffy to go on a trip or something, but it’s a stretch for his patience.”
She laughed, and Billy’s heart gave a jump. He was interested in her dog and her garden. And it was his music that she liked best.
“But some of that works both ways,” Serena said before taking a long drink of water. “Richard was my ticket into my own family. I know that sounds crazy, but they liked me a lot better when he came to our family get-togethers. Anyway, I really appreciate you being here for me this weekend. I think it made all of the difference in how I processed this. But, I need to say something, okay?”
Billy was worried, but put on his warmest smile. “Sure. I am listening.”
“I know that we … well, we get along really well, don’t we?” She blushed and couldn’t look at him for a minute. “My parents were always afraid of me hanging out with musicians, but I never really have. Anyway, when I think of us, I mean if you were ever interested in seeing me, that may not work for me, either. God, that didn’t come out the way I wanted it to, Billy!”
“That’s okay, I — well, I think I understand.”
“You do?”
Well, didn’t he? Billy already figured Serena was too smart, too beautiful, too good for him. It wasn’t money, really, he probably had plenty of that. Richard was a jerk, but he came from her world.
Billy realized that he’d grown quiet. He was determined not to add to her misery. “Don’t feel bad about bein’ honest with me. And you’re right, I’ve been thinkin’ since I met you that … how … you’re just an awesome woman. But, there’s no gettin’ around it, that I won’t be goin’ to college anytime soon, or — ”
“ — No, that isn’t it! Billy, you are a genius, without a piece of paper to say so. Your success says so, doesn’t it?”
He was pleased by her compliment, but this was getting confusing. What did she think of him, anyway? Maybe because they had a little chemistry going, he thought too much of things between them.
She said, “My life is in Atlanta. And, to be honest, I guess I can’t imagine bringing you home to my parents.”
“Most girls can’t, darlin’. I am used to that one,” Billy’s laughter bubbled out of him, causing a few people to look at him and recognize him. They whispered to each other and he regretted drawing attention to them, knowing he was probably going to get a few autograph requests. He gave an even stare to some of the onlookers, indicating that he didn’t want to be disturbed during lunch. He usually never pushed off fans, but he usually never ate with Serena Berquist.
Serena continued. “I feel really childish saying that. And even though Richard was perfect as far as they were concerned, well
, their opinion still matters, although it probably shouldn’t.”
“Why not? Sweetheart, no matter how old we git, we always want to please our mama and daddy. I don’t think it oughta run your life, but I don’t believe in tearin’ up your family. Fact is, if your parents don’t like what you’re doin’, a lotta times its cuz it ain’t right for you.”
“So, since my parents were thrilled with Richard, they obviously know what’s right for me?” Her voice was tart. She’d suddenly turned on him.
“Uh, I guess I was speakin’ more generally. You know, just sayin’ that most parents want what’s best,” he said meekly. “Serena, I know I am not what’s best, okay? I can see now that you’d be tradin’ way down to start somethin’ up with me. I’m sayin’ maybe there’s a guy that likes your dog and measures up for your parents.”
“Yes, that would be just right. Very simple requirements. I’ll have to go home and find that person this week, and then perhaps I won’t even have to cancel my wedding, just change the name on the invitations.”
Billy reached out for her hand, but she pulled away with a snap. He could tell that she wasn’t used to tenderness, and misread it. Her cold behavior made him pity her all the more, instead of feeling pushed away. He wished that he could have a chance to be good to her.
“Hey, girl, you sure are pretty, even when you’re mad.”
The smile he was hoping for burst onto her face with unexpected brightness.
Billy knew she didn’t want to be mean to him. She was tired and she had been hurt. That smile said it all. “So, you ready to ride? We got some miles to put on to get you back to town.”
She rose and followed him to his motorcycle. Minutes later, they were flying down the highway, and he felt her chin come to rest on his shoulder.
Billy said good-bye to Serena, and made her promise to keep in touch. He thought about hugging her, but then thought better of it, and got on his bike. He rode to his mother’s house.
She still lived in the old neighborhood where he’d grown up. As a surprise, Yancy and Billy had bought their mother a new home, much bigger, brand new, and closer to them. But she said it wasn’t her house, and she preferred to stay where she was. They ended up selling the place to a cousin.
Margaret “Mossy” Killian was delighted when she threw open her front door to her youngest boy. She would’ve loved a big family, but her husband was in bad health early on. So, she’d just been content to love her two headstrong, musical boys and adopt the world in general. It wasn’t unusual to find all manner of people having a piece of Mossy’s yellow pound cake at her kitchen table at any hour of the day. She kept herself busy with church, volunteering, bridge games and shopping with her girlfriends.
“Honey, I am so glad to see you Shug, give your Mama a hug,” Mossy grabbed her tall son around his slim waist and bear-hugged him. “I was just cleanin’ because the girls are comin’ over tomorrow mornin’ for coffee. We’re goin’ to Trader’s Village.”
“Is that that flea market thing over in Arlington?” Billy said, slumping into his Daddy’s old green chair. Ranger, the family’s beagle, came for some attention, and Billy stroked his head.
“Yes. Sandra says she’s goin’ to do all her Christmas shopping before summertime, and well, we hardly need an excuse to go shoppin’,” Mossy said with a chuckle.
“Here, Mamma, take some money,” Billy said, leaning forward and pulling some bills from his wallet.
“Honey, I don’t need that, you put that away. Now, I am serious, if you leave it there, it’s goin’ straight to our new ladies project at church. Did I tell you about that?”
“I don’t think so. Whatcha’ doin’?”
“All them little kids whose parents are gettin’ off drugs need a day care till they’re old enough to go to school. Why, Honey, with all you been thru with drugs and alcohol was jes terrible, but imagine havin’ a little one stuck in the middle when you’re tryin’ to get your life on track.”
“Well, Mama, I’ll give you more money than that. How much do y’all need? Does Yance know about this? You know anythin’ we can do for kids,” Billy said.
“Oh, I’ll be callin’ him soon enough! Mr. Purdy’s workin’ on the budget as we speak. It’ll give some of our young moms a little payin’ job, too. Now, what’s goin’ on with you? Yancy said yesterday that you had a woman comin’ from a museum for one of your guitars.”
“Yeah, she flew down from Atlanta. I just dropped her off.” Billy was fussing with the crocheted edge of a pillow.
“Oh, I see. She was a nice girl, wasn’t she?” Mossy knew her boys inside and out. Billy never felt like his mama pried as much as she just cared so much about everything in their lives. They were close, and Billy needed to come clean.
“Well, Mama, she is more than nice. She’s perfect. But she’s way out of my league, and she was kind enough to tell me so, so I wouldn’t get my hopes up over her. Even though we get along real good.”
Mossy Killian waited patiently to see if her son had anything else to say. He was deep in thought. “I think when people want to be honest with you, about anything, that just proves what a really fine person they are.”
“Yes, Honey, I think so, too.” A silence fell between them. Mossy said, “Oh, my goodness, it’s goin’ on six-thirty already. Have you eaten? I didn’t stop and have any supper.”
Billy followed his mother into the kitchen, and kept her company while she ate a bologna sandwich and left over potato salad. He passed on her offer of everything in her fridge, agreeing to a small dish of homemade blackberry cobbler.
“How’s this record goin’?” Mossy asked between bites. “You’ve hardly been around, you been in that studio so much. Did you get that casserole I sent over with Charlie, or did he take it home?” She talked slowly, but somehow always got in three things at once.
“He brought it in, and then complained ’cause we ate it. It’s been goin’ real good. We’ll be wrappin’ it up and doin’ some finishing work on it startin’ this week.”
Mossy giggled, pausing with potato salad on her fork, saying, “And that April! Why, she couldn’t be more tickled about namin’ that album! Land sakes, that child called me on the phone way past her bedtime and told me she’d done something for posterity, or some silly thing. She sounded just like Yancy sayin’ it, but I forgit what she said.”
Billy shook his head. “Yup. That youngun is a piece of work, ain’t she? And I told Yance we ain’t seen nothin’ yet. She’s goin’ to get spunkier every year. But she’s got a good head on her shoulders, don’t she?”
“Yes, praise the Lord for that.”
“Well, Mama, I better get goin’. I’ll be headin’ into the studio early tomorrow mornin.”
“Okay, sweetheart. I know you’re makin’ a good record, and it takes a lot of doin’.”
“That it does,” Billy said, as Ranger and his mother followed him to the door.
Chapter 13
Serena had an awful Monday at work. Coming back through the kitchen to let Taffy in, the telephone rang. Serena winced at the shrill, and picked it up only to avoid it screaming at her again.
“Hello.”
“Serena. Look, I just want to apologize for this whole misunderstanding.” Richard’s voice was gentle, but his words enraged her. Again.
She opened the door for Taffy and put her hand on her hip, gazing at the ceiling. She felt like Richard was invading the sanctity of her home by speaking through her telephone.
“Richard. I have a headache. I am going to bed. I can’t do this right now. And it wasn’t an misunderstanding. It was an affair.”
He retaliated. “But I told you it’s not really an affair. She’s just someone from the office, we were working late, and things got a little out of hand. Of course it will never happen again, Serena, you have my word.”
“You’re right, Richard, it won’t happen to me again, because I am not going to let you happen to me again. We’re through.”
Sweeping through the kitchen, she slammed her phone down on the counter. She was livid by the time she got to the top of the stairs. Her self-pity was acute, and she didn’t know how to rid herself of this burning anger. She considered a relaxing bath, and remembered the last time she’d taken one, in her lovely suite at Turtle Creek. Billy had been so good to her.
But he wasn’t here now. And he never would be after what she’d said to him. She wasn’t even sure why she suddenly had wanted to push him away. She was cold-hearted, like her mother and Caroline, after all. But that didn’t mean she deserved Richard. What a beast.
She was standing in the middle of her bedroom. She turned to face Taffy, who was on the bed. Her liquid eyes showed deep concern, and she whimpered when Serena looked at her.
“Oh, poor little Taf!” She went to the bed and scooped up the warm little body. “Mommy’s sorry to worry you, puppy. You’re a good girl. It’s just that Mommy is very unhappy. We need to find someone to love us both, okay?” Taffy licked her hand in response.
Serena suddenly felt compelled to phone her mother. No, she should wait; her head was still hurting.
She sat on the bed stroking Taffy, and the phone rang again.
“Hello,” Serena answered. She knew it wouldn’t be Richard again. Not this soon. He had too much pride to beg her forgiveness more than once a day. She was safe from him till tomorrow evening.
“Hey there,” sang a deep voice. Billy. He sounded so good. She knew she’d liked his voice before, but right now it was healing.
“Oh, hi.” She knew she sounded tinny and impersonal.
“I hope I am not catchin’ you at a bad time … . I just wanted to see how you were gettin’ along today. Been thinkin’ about you a lot, you know, all this trouble, and I said a little prayer, which should help some.”
Serena drank up his kindness, hovering over each word like a hummingbird drawing up precious nectar. She couldn’t form a response.
Heart to Heart Page 29