He might agree to it. Might settle down with her, and be happy, for a few years. But he would grow to resent it. When he felt himself, year after year, falling short of his potential. Competing at less than full capacity. When the thrill of their relationship had faded, their passion had cooled — as it inevitably would — he’d resent her.
She couldn’t stand to think that Jacob would one day hate her. She wouldn’t make him choose. Wouldn’t let him be torn between two loves.
She was leaving. While it was still possible. For Jacob. For herself.
It was the hardest thing she’d ever done.
“Theo,” she said, “I need to come home as soon as possible. I feel disappointed in myself. Homesick. Please get me on a flight as quick as you can.”
Theo paused again before speaking. She knew she wasn’t fooling him entirely. He could tell something was wrong. He knew her too well to buy her “homesick” act.
The biggest lie she’d told hadn’t been about the story. It was when she’d called New York City “home.” Right now, no place that didn’t have Jacob in it could possibly feel like home.
But she had to trust that that would change. That her heart would repair itself. That she could submerge herself in her old life, and that eventually it would feel right again. She would try to hold on to the healing power of love, even though it would hurt. Even though it would take a long, long time before she could sleep through the night without waking up. Without her body aching for his warmth. His touch.
“Ariel,” Theo said gently, “I’ll see if there are any flights later today. I’ll email you the itinerary. Take care of yourself, all right?”
“Thank you,” Ariel whispered. When she hung up the phone, she was shaking like a leaf. Quaking like an aspen. She was tough. She was resilient. But she couldn’t imagine recovering from this one.
Ariel stayed in her room. She got an email from Theo almost immediately. He’d managed to get her on an early afternoon flight. She packed and waited until it was time to leave. She wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.
Her cell phone rang several times. It was Jacob. Ariel didn’t answer. Then the room phone rang. Ariel figured he’d changed his strategy. She didn’t answer those calls, either.
A little before noon, Ariel called down to the desk to request that her car be brought up from the garage. She wanted to spend as little time in the lobby as possible. Less chance of running into Jacob.
She smiled a humorless smile. Ironic that the person she most wanted to see was also the person she needed to avoid at all costs. She left the room and wheeled her suitcase down the hall. She couldn’t help feeling like she was sneaking out, tail between her legs. Making an undignified escape.
When she got down to the lobby she kept her head down and walked toward the doors as quickly as possible. She looked up only when she was three quarters of the way to the exit and was utterly horrified to see, idling behind her coupe, Jacob’s team RV, with several of his teammates lounging on the curb. Before she had a moment to process what she’d seen, to figure out what to do — other than run in the opposite direction — she heard what she most dreaded hearing. Jacob was behind her, calling her name. With a horrible, sick feeling in her stomach, she turned to face him.
“Ariel!” he called. His face was shining, his eyes glowing. He was filled with excitement — to see her. He was wearing his kit; all the contours of the body she loved were gorgeously displayed. Ariel’s heart was already broken. Now it exploded into dust.
Jacob approached. She could see the light in his eyes dim, his steps slow, as he registered her dejected demeanor. Her pained expression. He reached out to embrace her, then dropped his arms when he saw her flinch away from his touch. Ariel knew that if he touched her, she’d be lost.
“Ariel,” Jacob said, a frown of concern furrowing his brow, “what’s the matter? Are you all right?”
The same question Theo had asked her. No, she wanted to scream, I am not all right! Before she had a chance to reply, Jacob’s eyes dropped to the suitcase at her feet. His expression changed — to one of shock. Of horror.
“Are you leaving?” he asked her in a tone of utter incredulity.
“Yes,” said Ariel, as calmly as she could. “Something’s come up. I have to go back to New York immediately.”
“Were you planning to tell me this?” Jacob asked, frowning. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day.”
“I’m sorry, Jacob. It’s all been very sudden.”
“Well, are you coming back?” Jacob asked. He looked uncomfortable. Ariel could practically see the gears turning in his head. All the logistical problems that made their relationship impossible were occurring to him for the first time. The problems she’d been torturing herself over all morning.
“No, Jacob.” Ariel shook her head. “You know I can’t. My life is in New York. Yours is, well … everywhere. This can’t work. If you think about it, you’ll see I’m right. I’m so sorry. I hope you’ll remember me kindly.” The stiff, awkward phrasing was repellent to her. She smiled what had to be a tight, sickening smile. Before she had a chance to break, to collapse into his arms, she turned and walked away from him. Her heart was brimming over — with love stronger than anything she’d ever felt, with sadness poignant and overwhelming. She knew she’d remember the look on his face for the rest of his life.
• • •
Jacob stood and watched her go. His mind refused to process what she’d just told him. He knew it was important. That he needed to understand it. Think, Hunter, he told himself. But the feeling of shock, of suspension, was too strong.
Only the absolute horror he felt when he saw Ariel step into her car and drive away jolted him into action. I don’t need to understand, he thought as he sprinted toward the RV, I just need to get her back.
His teammates scattered in surprise as he bolted through the door. He dragged the mountain bike that Randall had stashed inside out onto the pavement, launched himself onto the seat, clicked into the pedals, and sprinted after her as fast as he’d ever done at the end of a race.
Steven and Randall ran behind him, yelling, “Jacob! No!” He knew why they wanted him to stop. He wasn’t even wearing a helmet. He was riding like a maniac, weaving madly between cars. The Colorado Classic was in two days. By jeopardizing himself, he was jeopardizing the success of the whole team. All their training. Blood, sweat, and tears. Jacob was poised to win the classic; the rest of the team was poised to support him. They were all in the best condition of their lives. At the peak of their fitness. They’d all worked incredibly hard to get there.
And it could all change, very quickly, if Jacob kept riding the way he was riding at that moment.
Jacob couldn’t care less. Nothing — even the race that, two weeks ago, he would have given several years of his life to win, nor the teammates he’d been through so much with — mattered more than finding Ariel. Than stopping her.
He turned off the main street onto smaller side streets, then onto dirt roads leading up into the hills. He wasn’t going to catch Ariel by following her down the highway. Finally, he turned off the road entirely, onto a winding trail that clung hazardously to the sides of precipices and plunged through rocky, punishing terrain — only to rise again, steeply and suddenly.
Jacob had never been so grateful for the effects of his years of training, the payoff for his superhuman efforts. The strength, the conditioning, the handling skills that allowed him to hurl himself fearlessly over and through rock outcroppings, treacherously twisted roots, sharp dips and bumps that sent him flying through the air. He never stopped pedaling. He was pushing himself harder than he’d ever pushed himself before. It was the last thing he should be doing two days before an important — potentially life-changing — race.
But if he lost Ariel, he would lose more than a race. Cyclist�
�s hearts could grow in their chests throughout years of training, could beat harder and faster than any other athlete’s. Without Ariel, none of it would matter. His heart was the most developed muscle in his body. But if he lost Ariel, it would stop. There would be no reason for it to continue beating.
He reached the ridge of the last hill between him and the curving highway. He’d ridden the most direct route between two points. The road had gone around a mountain — he’d gone over it. His only hope was to cut Ariel off on the stretch of pavement directly below him.
He saw the red coupe round the bend that would carry her past him — and away. Setting the bike directly downhill — bypassing the switch-back trails that would have led him more safely down the precipitous mountainside — sliding through shale and scree, Jacob plummeted through space, his wheels barely in contact with the dangerously uneven ground.
Now he was risking not just his training, his team, his race — but his life. At the last moment, Jacob burst onto the pavement, breaking hard and whirling to face the red coupe as it sped directly toward him.
• • •
Ariel almost couldn’t stop in time. She squealed to a halt, brakes smoking, heart pounding with the sudden shock of adrenaline. She didn’t realize for a moment that the figure in front of her — facing down the car like a matador facing a dangerous bull — was Jacob.
Shaking, she pulled the coupe to the side of the highway — and toppled out directly into Jacob’s arms. He kissed her hair, her head, her face — then her lips. Urgently. Passionately. She pulled away.
“You’re a lunatic,” she gasped. “I could have killed you.” Her heart quailed at the thought. She was still shaking. With fear. With relief. With love.
“Okay, I’m a lunatic,” Jacob panted, cupping her face in her hands. “But remember, what’s the most important thing about me?”
Ariel’s laugh was choked. “You’re fast,” she said weakly. She tried to turn her head and he released her. She looked up at the shockingly steep slope he’d ridden down. Shuddered.
“Wrong,” he said. “I am fast.” He grinned his cocksure grin. “The fastest. But the most important thing about me … ” He took a deep breath.
“The most important thing about me,” he began again. “Is that … I love you.” The grin returned, less cocksure. Was Jacob Hunter nervous?
Ariel wasn’t going to keep him in suspense. She kissed him. He kissed her back with equal fervor. She couldn’t believe the relief she’d felt. That he’d stopped her. Hadn’t let her leave. That she hadn’t lost him after all.
“But cycling is your life,” said Ariel. She didn’t leave the circle of his arms, just pulled back far enough to look him in the eyes. “You’re a genius on the bike. It’s your calling. I don’t want to get in the way of that. And I don’t know how your calling, and my calling, won’t get in the way of us.”
“I don’t know, either,” said Jacob. “It’ll be a challenge.” He grinned. “We both like challenges.”
“You like challenges,” said Ariel.
Jacob’s grin widened. “You are a challenge,” he said. “Ariel, the logistics will be tricky. I can’t deny that. But those are details. This … ” He kissed her. “This, this thing between the two of us, this isn’t a detail.”
“It’s the real deal, huh, Hunter?” asked Ariel, the light starting to shine in her eyes.
“The real deal,” he said.
She buried her hands in his hair, pulling his head down to her, his lips to her lips. He caressed her breasts, her hips, every luscious curve, crushing her against him with all his strength. His hands were so rough. It should have hurt. But nothing had ever felt so right. So much like a homecoming.
Ariel realized she wasn’t breathing.
She rested her head against his chest, trying to catch her breath, and he held her, tightly but more gently, his lips resting on the top of her head. She was stunned, intoxicated.
“Jacob,” Ariel whispered, “if you don’t want to make love to me on the side of the highway, you’d better get me back to the hotel, ASAP.”
“Who says I don’t want to make love to you on the side of the highway? It’s pretty romantic, as highways go.” Jacob’s voice was thoughtful. “Ground is rocky, I’ll admit.”
“I’d mention the potential dangers … sheer drops, oncoming cars … but after the stunt you just pulled I think ‘danger’ doesn’t register with you.” She followed this up with a muffled expletive that sounded like, “something-something knucklehead.”
Jacob laughed, and Ariel heard it rumbling deep in his chest. She pressed closer to him, held him so that his heart thudded against her ear. His heartbeat reverberated through every part of her body. It could beat for both of us, she thought, snuggling against his chest, kissing his collarbone, his throat.
“So what were you saying about making love on the side of the highway?” Jacob asked, weaving his hands through her hair and tugging her head back, locking her eyes with his, burning her with the golden flame kindled in their depths.
Ariel arched an eyebrow. Glanced at the gravel shoulder of the road where it gave way to wildflowers.
“I might have to think about this one,” she said.
“Let’s think later,” Jacob suggested.
“That’s what I meant,” said Ariel, and with a grin that rivaled his own, she pulled him down into the bank of columbines.
Epilogue
The door to Karen’s room opened at Beth’s gentle knock — the bright-eyed girl within rocketed through the doorway and threw herself into her mother’s arms.
“Mom!” she exclaimed. “I couldn’t sleep, I’m so excited. Is this shirt too much? Will I embarrass Jakey?”
She was wearing a t-shirt in team colors that showed Jacob riding his bike in profile. It read “Hunter” across the back. The thick material of the t-shirt made a tent on her skinny frame in a way that wasn’t strictly flattering, but the animated expression on her wan face made all the difference. She looked beautiful.
“Where did you get that?” marveled Beth Hunter.
“The Internet,” said Karen simply.
“Of course.” Beth smiled. “I don’t think Jake will be embarrassed. I already signed you out with Bettina. Are you ready to go?”
“Ready!” chirped Karen. Then more seriously, “I’m so grateful to you for arranging this. For talking to Bettina and getting permission for me to miss groups. I’ve never gotten to see Jakey race in person before! Well, maybe I did once. Some race when we were kids. But it was really boring and I don’t think I actually saw anything.”
“Well, you know we won’t be seeing this whole race either,” Beth said. “Just the end.”
“That’s all that matters, right?” Karen giggled. “The part where Jake blows everyone else away?”
Beth answered Karen’s bright smile with one of her own.
Karen’s eyes shifted to Ariel, who was hanging shyly behind Beth. Beth followed her daughter’s gaze, and leaned close to Karen’s ear. “Yep, that’s her,” she told her, “that’s Ariel. She is, as my mother would say, the genuine article.”
Karen grinned and with no warning launched herself at Ariel, who hesitated only a moment before returning her tight hug.
“I’m so glad to meet you,” both women said simultaneously, then looked at each other and broke into laughter. Chattering comfortably — like they’d known each other forever — they left the hospital together and climbed into Beth’s Subaru. The car was a present from Jacob.
“I wanted to get you something small and zippy,” he’d said. “Like a Porsche. But the guy at the dealership told me these handle better in the snow.” The Hunters now always referred to the Subaru as “The Porsche.” Ariel found the habit endearing.
“Hold onto your hats, girls,” said Beth as she squealed out of
her parking spot. “The engine’s in the back.”
Richard was waiting for them on the square of sidewalk they’d staked out for themselves directly in front of the finish line.
“Don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything,” he said. “I haven’t seen a thing.” Ariel stiffened, expecting to see bitterness on Richard Hunter’s handsome, lined face, but she relaxed when she saw that he was smiling with genuine good humor.
Beth gave a surprised laugh. Linking her husband’s arm with her own, she rested her head affectionately against his shoulder.
“Honey,” she said, as though scandalized. “That sounded suspiciously like a joke.” Then she gave Ariel a conspiratorial grin, a grin that somehow seemed to say thank you. Ariel smiled, even though she didn’t feel that she deserved the gratitude she saw in Beth’s eyes. She couldn’t take the credit for Richard Hunter’s new attitude. He was fighting his own demons, and she couldn’t begin to imagine the courage it took to walk out in these pushing, shoving crowds, the courage it took to rely on his wife, and on her, a young woman he barely knew, for help. But she was happy that the whole family had taken her so immediately into the warm circle of support and love they created between them.
“We’re all here,” Beth said. “It’ll mean so much to Jacob … whether he wins or loses.”
Ariel, looking at them dreamily — father, mother, and daughter — felt jolted. She realized for the first time that she’d never really thought about what would happen if Jacob lost. As soon as the idea occurred to her, however, she dismissed it. It wasn’t that she didn’t think it was possible. Jacob had given her a crash course in bike racing in the last few days — “crash” being the operative word. Ariel shuddered when she thought of Jacob being involved in the kinds of collisions he’d shown her in videos of famous races. With all her heart, she wanted him to get through the race in one piece.
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