by Bec Botefuhr
“I won’t be long, call work, tell them an hour.”
“Fine.”
I follow Ryder down to the garage and he gets on his bike. I hesitate.
“Trust me will you?” He sighs.
I slide on and wrap my arms around his firm waist. It is nice, I can’t deny that.
“Ready?” He yells as he turns the bike on.
“Yes.”
He presses a button and the garage opens, he zooms out quickly. When we are on the road, I feel slightly at ease. He zips down a few quiet streets until he pulls up at quiet park at the end of a cul de sac. It is quiet, hidden by thick trees and no-one is around. I slip off the bike and pull the helmet off. Ryder shoves a pair of sunnies at me, and I pull them on. He then fastens a hat on my head. He surprises me by taking my hand and we walk until we stop at some swings. I sit on one, he sits on the other.
“Better?” He asks.
He is wearing black sunnies, and he looks so beautifully sexy.
“Thanks yeah.”
“We won’t let anyone near you.”
I look over at him. “I know.”
He nods and stares out into the distance.
“Ryder?”
“Hmmmm?”
“Do you have a problem with me?”
He turns. “No, I don’t.”
“Why are you always so harsh towards me?”
“Ari, I am not the only one being harsh. You haven’t let up about my preferences or the way I am with women since you met me.”
“I guess…I don’t mean to sound rude you know. It was hard for me to be put in a house with people I didn’t know.”
“I know that, and you need to know I am not usually a social person. It takes a while for me to get used to new people, it wasn’t just awkward for you when James put you in our house.”
“You could have said no.” I whisper.
“I am a cop, it is my job to protect people, I don’t mind you being in my house.”
“You just mind me.”
“I never said I had a problem with you Ari, stop.”
“So it’s just because I didn’t agree with your sexual needs?”
He sighs. “It’s hard for me, you have to understand. Nate is different, he is quiet and gentle, he is affectionate and people adore him. I am not. I am hard, rough and I have interests, I like to be dominant and I like women to want me and fall to my feet.”
“Why?”
“It’s just me.”
“I know I went off Ryder, but…I get it. I don’t think what you do is wrong, I just haven’t experienced anything so out there before.”
“People think it is wrong, a lot of people judge.”
“That is a matter of opinion. People have different sexual tastes Ryder, it doesn’t make them wrong.”
He lifts his glasses and I do the same, his aqua gaze meets mine and my heart flutters.
“It really doesn’t bother you?”
“Not now it doesn’t, I don’t understand it so it makes it very hard to judge and I know I did but that’s just because giving up control scares me.”
“Want to tell me why?”
“It’s a long story ok, I have had to grow up very quick and I didn’t have a good experience with sex so…I have to protect myself, I don’t have a family to do it.”
“My family would kill me, you know? If they knew what I was like. Nate’s don’t care. They have always known he is gay and they don’t care. We grew up together, Nate and I have always been best friends. He told his family about his feelings and they love him all the same. If my parents found out that I like to whip women…”
“You shouldn’t have to hide what you are.”
He smiles. “I am a cop, a tough, rugged cop. I am the eyes of the law, it doesn’t look good.”
I laugh. “What should it matter, it is your business?”
“Religion.”
“Are you religious?”
“No.”
“Your family?”
“No.”
“Then it shouldn’t matter.”
“No, I guess it shouldn’t. What about you, any fantasies?”
“I told you, I didn’t have a good time of it so it is really hard for me to feel anything when thinking about sex, but…I want to know, I want to find someone to show me that it isn’t so bad.”
He falls silent and I turn to stare at him. His fists are tight on the chains and I wonder what is going through his mind.
“Ryder?”
“I want you.” He says, not looking at me.
“You do?”
“More than any fucking thing I have wanted in a long time. You defy me, you are innocent and you are so damned gorgeous, I find it so damned hard to be around you and think clearly. It is easier for me to be harsh, then to accept I want you.”
“Why would you want me?” I whisper.
“You are a fiery little woman who tugs every bit of patience I have. It should piss me off and God knows it does but at the same time, I want you more than I am happy to admit.”
“Is that why you are so snappy?”
“Partly. I go out because I know getting involved with you will cause problems, but I can’t help what I want.”
“I imagine you want many women.”
“I have my fair share of women, I won’t lie but you…you are different.”
I smile at him. He gives me a half smile back.
“What did you think when you saw Stacey that night?” He suddenly asks.
His words shock me and I flush. “I…I…”
“Did it turn you on?”
I blink stupidly at him. “What?”
“Did.It.Turn.You.On?” He bites off each word impatiently.
“I don’t know, it scared me because of what I saw but if I put that aside then yes, a little.” I admit.
He nods, grinning. “Thought so. Do you think it is something you would like to try?”
“What, no, I am not here to play Ryder.”
“Not even a bit curious?”
“I hear you fucking a different woman every few nights, and I see how many you go through. I am curious, I won’t lie but I really don’t intend my next experience to be with a man who has had so many partners it is clear he doesn’t respect women.”
He glares at me. “You think I don’t respect women?”
“No, you don’t. You fuck them and they leave or you keep them a few days and make them think you want them, then you leave. If you do happen to keep one, she is treated like a slave.”
“You ever thought maybe it was them disrespecting me?”
I gape and stand, he does too.
“You can’t be serious?”
“Well, why do you instantly assume I am the asshole? Those women are using me as much as I am using them.”
“No…what?”
“You are a naive little shit. Those women pick me up ninety percent of the time, they throw themselves onto me, wrap their little mouths around my cock and beg for me to fuck them. What do you think I am going to do? Say no? They want it, they know about as much about me as I do about them but they still want in my bed. Don’t be so judgmental.”
“Oh…you…” I stammer.
He grips my head and before I know it, he is slanting his mouth over mine. Oh, oh. He tastes like mint and Ryder. His mouth is soft, but his kiss is hard. He pulls my body close until I am pressed so hard against him, I can feel every inch of his hard, muscled flesh. He kisses me until my mouth opens and a moan escapes, he takes the chance and plunges his tongue in. Oh sweet lord. I pull back, panting.
“What the hell!” I gasp.
He shrugs and tosses the bike helmet at me. “You wanted it as much as I did.”
“Get over yourself!” I snap.
“Get over yourself, you sexist.”
“Take me home!” I cry.
“I will fuck you Ariana, mark my words. I will fuck you and make you scream until you can’t think. I will become your everything, and you will
want nothing once you taste what I can give you and your little issues will be no more than a faded memory. You can deny me all you want but you and I both know the sexual tension is there, you will give in to it.”
“HOME!” I scream, stamping my foot.
We zoom home quickly and when we pull up, I storm upstairs. Nate is in the kitchen and glances at me as I storm past.
“Hey what happened?” He yells.
“She has the shits up because I kissed her, took her little mouth and kissed it. She also has the shits because she doesn’t want to believe that the women I fuck might want it too and might not be being used.”
I turn and glare. “Up your ass Ryder!”
“Later baby.” He snaps.
I slam the door to my room and lock it. Wanker! I brood for a good hour, when a knock sounds out. I walk over and open it, to find Nate. He hands me a beer.
“He has gone to work.”
“Thank God.”
We sit on the couch and Nate stares at his beer.
“Nate?”
“You kissed him.”
I stare stupidly at him. “He kissed me, is that a problem?”
“Nah.” He grinds out.
“Nate…”
“I don’t want to see you hurt sweetheart.”
I take his hand and sigh. “Oh Nate. That is so sweet, but it isn’t the only reason you are hurting, you care for him a lot, don’t you?”
“You know, I have wanted Ryder for a long time and I have always known it will never ever happen. I have moved on and am seeing someone great, I might even love him. Ryder is always there though, in my head. I get a little jealous, but not so much when it is random women. You though, I like you a lot, I don’t want you to get hurt Ari. He will hurt you.”
“I won’t be giving in to him Nate, no matter how hard he pushes. He can dominate all he wants and demand sex, he won’t get it.”
Nate laughs. “He will chase you until you can’t think about anything else, he will drive you wild but he will break your heart. Ryder has had a tough go at life and at love. Be careful, please.”
“I will Nate, I will.”
CHAPTER 4
I see it so clearly, the way the blood spurts from her neck as he drags the knife over her skin. I sit up screaming, screaming to the roof. The door swings open and two half asleep men bust in, guns drawn. I am panting and a small trickle of sweat slides down my skin. Nate blinks rapidly, he is butt naked. I scream again.
“Fuck Nate, where the fuck are your clothes?” Ryder yells, lowering his gun.
Nate quickly pulls the towel off the door and covers himself.
“What is going on? Why did you scream?” He asks, looking around.
“Nightmare.” I whisper.
“Aw, and now you are crying.” Nate says, walking over and sliding into the bed.
“Harden up Nate, don’t go babying her.” Ryder snaps.
“You soften up, bully.” Nate snaps at him.
I snuggle into Nate when he pulls me close and am grateful for the comfort.
“We got you, safe and sound remember?” Nate soothes.
“I know it was just a dream.”
“Want to get your mind off it?”
“I thought you were gay.” I say with a weak smile.
Nate roars with laughter. “You might change that.”
“Unlikely.” Ryder snorts.
“Leave her alone, she is gorgeous.”
“Don’t I fucking know it.” Ryder mutters to himself.
“Mr. Dominant over there can’t handle affection, let him brood.” I say and give Ryder a grin.
He shoots me a glare, but I can see a ghost of a smile playing around his lips.
“Tell us a little something about yourself, help get your mind off it.” Nate offers.
“I don’t have much to talk about.”
“Tell me about that one bad time.”
“No, that isn’t a good story.”
“Talk,” Ryder demands suddenly interested. “Or go back to nightmares.”
“How kind you are.”
“Talk…you have five seconds.”
“I am ashamed of it.”
Nate takes my hand. “Don’t be, we don’t judge.”
I hesitate for a long, long moment. Then sigh and begin talking. “Ok, I was seventeen and he was the biggest crush I had ever had. I wanted him, from junior year to senior I wanted him. He knew it too, made me beg, made me see him with other women. I got desperate you know? I was young and wanted to do anything he asked. When he asked me to a school dance, I jumped at the chance. That was his name, Chance. Go figure.”
“Go on.” Nate encourages.
“Please don’t think I am easy or…cheap. I was young…”
“Go on baby.” Ryder says, tucking a pillow behind his head and laying on the couch. His words surprise me so much I go still for a long moment, did he just call me baby in an affectionate way? I shake my head and continue with the story.
“Ok, so I dressed up. I brought this gorgeous dress and got my hair done, I thought I looked beautiful, I thought he would love it. He didn’t love it, he only had one plan that night and that was to get me in the sack. We were dancing and,” I close my eyes and shudder. “He put his hands on me, told me if I wanted him I had to do what he asked. I wanted him, so badly, so I did.”
I take a deep trembling breath, memories flood my mind, the taunts, the name calling.
“Finish the story sweetheart.”
“I let him fuck me on the dance floor. He just lifted my leg and moved my panties. I let him do it, I just let him do it. It hurt so badly, God it hurt. Everyone saw, pictures were taken. My father fought hard to hide those pictures and get them covered. I got teased and taunted so badly I had to leave school. I never had sex again, it was so painful for me, so horrible. I bled for two days, he hurt me so bad.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Ryder snarls. “What is his last name?”
“Ryder.” Nate says in a soothing tone.
“He needs a good smack in the mouth.”
“And it won’t make a difference, it is done, dusted.” I whisper.
“You better hope to God I never cross paths with him.”
“It was my fault Ryder, I let him do it.”
“He used you, told you what you wanted to hear.”
“No, he controlled me just like you control your women and I was so messed up I let him.”
“It isn’t the same!”
“Alright, alright. Come on guys, don’t get upset about it.” Nate cuts in.
“I’m sorry if you think differently of me, you are probably wondering why I haven’t stripped off and fucked you both, I am easy right?”
Nate shakes his head furiously. “God no, hell no. You were young, it was a mistake.”
“It was only two years ago.”
“You’re nineteen?” Ryder asks, taking a deep breath.
“You know that, why, are you cradle snatching gramps?”
“Twenty eight.” He says, with raised brows.
“Really?” I ask.
“Hmmmm.”
“Nate?” I say, looking towards Nate.
“Twenty seven.”
“You two have done a lot for yourselves then?”
“So we have.”
“Your turn.” I say and they both look at me.
“For what?”
“Tell me something about yourself, fairs fair. You don’t want me to sleep with bad dreams do you?”
“Hard woman.” Ryder comments.
“Agreed.” Nate grins.
“Come on then, spill.”
“What you want to know?” Nate murmurs, leaning back on my pillows.
“Anything.”
“Well, I come from a family of four. One sister, two parents, obviously. Lived on a ranch my whole life, decided I wanted something different and joined the force. My family are the good type you know? They are the warm fuzzy family everyone wants.” Nate grins.
<
br /> “I don’t have a good story like that. My father is a jack ass, my mother is weak. I have a sister, who I never see. I left home at fifteen and got taken in by Nate’s family. They were old friends of the family, before it went sour. Joined the force with him and there we stayed.”
“I’m sorry Ryder.”
“Nah, don’t be.”
“So have you two always lived together?”
“Yeah, since we joined the force.”
“And have you been married?”
They both tense up.
“No, I haven’t.” Nate says.
“I have.” Ryder finishes.
“You have?” I ask, shocked.
“Yeah, once. Ended.”
I get the hint he doesn’t want to talk about it further so I zip it.
“Well thanks for sharing.”
“I gotta get going, hot date.” Nate says, standing.
“At this time of the night?” I grin.
“Night shift. See you later.”
He walks out and I look over at Ryder.
“Well, I should get some sleep.”
He stands and I expect him to walk out, but he doesn’t, he walks over and kneels on my bed.
“I meant it, what I said earlier. You might have had a bad experience and that jack knife will get what’s coming but what he did was wrong. Sex isn’t horrible.”
“You tie and spank women, I don’t see how it’s any better.”
“You don’t understand submission.”
“And I don’t want to.” I frown.
“Don’t you baby? I think you do.”
“You don’t know me Ryder.”
He sighs. “Look I went about it all wrong when I kissed you. I didn’t realize the experience you have had, I didn’t realize it affects you so much to lose control. I get what my tastes must look like to you, and how I must seem but it’s not that way, there is trust Ari, a lot of it.”
I look down at my fingers fumbling together. “I told you, I don’t judge you Ryder but you came onto me hard and fast, I didn’t see it coming.”
“Really? I have been throwing hints at you for weeks.”
“You have been throwing dirty little offers, but what you don’t understand is I don’t want dirty little offers.”
“You are scared, I get it.”
“No you don’t.”
He crawls closer. “You think I have never been scared before?”
“I don’t think anything frightens you.”