by K. D. Kinney
The announcer’s voice bellowed from a loudspeaker. “We have had some unexpected events during the course of this week. One of our competitors had to forfeit their awards. That has created a shift with the results of the advanced competitions and has changed the results for grand prize trophy.”
I finally relaxed as the death stare shifted to adoration for Noah in the arena.
Kelly must not have gotten around to telling Noah she gave up her awards because the look on his face was tense. He thought it was his awards that had been forfeited. I wish I’d said something. The announcer read off each competition that Kelly had been in with Noah. When they presented Noah with the first place ribbon to one of the events where he placed behind her, it took him a minute to realize they called his name. We screamed and cheered as he accepted his award. Each time the announcer said his name after that, out little section of the bleachers burst out in cheers. They prepared to announce the placings for the most points won overall.
A hush fell over the bleachers for the last award, a very nice sized trophy. “The grand prize trophy is awarded to Noah Carroll.”
The bleachers shook with the cheers and stomping from all of his friends and family in the stands.
Noah took off his cowboy hat, walked with Ezra up to the girl that held the trophy, and shook her hand. Totally humble and with less confidence than the usual Noah, he accepted the trophy and stared at it as if he couldn’t believe it. His mom stood on the bleacher and took a ton of pictures, yelling louder than the rest of us.
Josh laughed at her and elbowed me in the arm. His mom was very comical with her celebratory energy. I couldn’t help it, I laughed too.
When Noah left the arena, his family attacked him with hugs. Josh, Bree, and Rachel each congratulated him. He struggled with the attention and tried to blow it off. I lingered behind everyone wanting so badly to join in, but his mom’s scrutiny and all the other horses around held me back. I hung onto the rail of the arena and waited, wishing the lump in my throat wasn’t growing. With how humble Noah was, it made me want to hug him even more and he deserved to win. Finally, our eyes met. I gave him a big smile and he gave me his endearing half-smile in return. Noah pulled Josh over to him to say something in his ear.
Whatever he said sent Josh over to me.
“He wants you to join the group if you’re comfortable.” He tugged the bottom of my lace-embellished tank top.
“I want to hug him too, just like the rest of you. I don’t think I should with his mom there, and I don’t think he wants to either.”
“Either way, he wants you there. Now’s the time to come be with all of us. I’ll play my part so well, she won’t suspect a thing.” Josh gave me his crazy eyebrows. “Or maybe she should suspect something’s up with you two. I thought we were going to post pictures of you guys after this was over?”
“How will that look after you told her I was your girlfriend?”
“I’ve got it. We’ll just post the pictures of you in your other clothes. You look totally different. Maybe we say you had a twin. There is so much we can do to toy with her. We don’t need to worry about that now, come on.” He pulled me to the group.
Reluctantly, I let him bring me into the clutches of the Mom of Terror.
She was so caught up in her son that she left me alone. The rest of his family quietly milled around behind us. Josh held my hand protectively while I hovered close to his shoulder and caught Noah glancing at me when he had the opportunity.
“I think we need to celebrate with dessert.” Noah’s mom hooked her arm in his, leading him away abruptly with his family, leaving the rest of us behind.
“I guess I’ll catch up with you guys later,” Noah said over his shoulder, with his gaze fixed on me. “Rachel, can you put Ezra away for me?”
She was already holding Ezra’s lead when his mom insisted on hugging and taking pictures earlier. “Of course.” She yelled so Noah could hear her answer as he was being whisked away.
My heart sank a little. I was finally understanding everything. The four of us stood glancing awkwardly at each other with the sudden shift from Noah’s immediate departure with his family.
“All righty then.” Josh shook his head.
“She’s so weird. She will either pay too much attention to you making you want to hide under a rock and then all of a sudden you’re invisible. Come help me, Bree.” Rachel led Ezra to the horse barn.
“I have some time before I have to go home for the show.” I said to Josh as I struggled with my ugly feelings towards Noah’s mom. “I have money for snow cones.”
“That sounds perfect. I can’t believe how hot it is. I have time right now too before I have to volunteer.”
While we waited in line, Noah’s family walked by. His mom watched us like an owl keeping an eye on its prey, almost turning her head all the way around.
“Do you think she’s watching us intentionally?” I asked.
“More than likely. Let’s go find someplace where she can’t stalk us.”
Once we had our snow cones, Josh took me to an abandoned part of the fairgrounds to the stadium where they held the big concerts. He slipped in through a gap in a chained gate and I followed, afraid that someone might catch us trespassing. He took me all the way up to the top of the stadium seating where there was shade and a nice breeze blowing through the stands to cool us off. Josh sat down, sliding his butt back so it rested on the footrest below and his legs dangled over the bench. I did the same, which kept us out of direct view from anyone that might walk by.
I concentrated on my snow cone, trying to forget how much Noah’s mom bothered me without success. “Why would Noah’s mom suspect you two were gay?”
Josh adjusted his hat and scooted down even more. “I dunno,” he mumbled. “Maybe because my mom is.” Josh’s face reddened.
“What would that have to do with you?” I dug into Josh’s snow cone and smiled.
“I guess she would think it would rub off on me or something.” Josh looked up at me somewhat relieved. “She’s pretty small-minded that way.”
“That’s silly.” I took another spoonful of Josh’s snow cone. “Yours is better than mine.”
“You think it’s silly? That she would assume I was gay?” Josh turned to face me and stopped cowering.
“Of course. I’ve seen guys that I know are gay and you and Noah aren’t even close.”
“You just say that because you’ve kissed us both. I’ve told Noah that his mom thinking we’re gay is a total joke. But I can see why, sort of.” Josh concentrated on his snow cone again.
“Why?”
“Okay, you asked. I’ve always been into movies and TV shows. I mean, it’s a hobby, everything I know. I was sick of going to movies alone and having no one to talk to about them later. I talked Noah into going with me. I have a job at the movie theater now and always pay for him to go. We tried bringing dates and that got complicated. I think word about my mom got around. Small town, biggest group of gossips you met in your life. Whatever the reason, very few girls would go out with me. Then Noah was sick of dealing with his mom and all her rules. Trying to go on double dates was just a huge hassle when she wanted to meet our dates every single time so she could harass them. You see what she does.
“We started telling his mom we were meeting girls from out of town so she wouldn’t be able to insist on meeting them. Actually, I just wanted to go to the bigger theaters where no one knew us and the sound was fantastic. In return, Noah wanted me to help him exercise his horses and go on trail rides with him. We already hung out a lot but then we were always hanging out. I found out I liked horses. I started doing all this horse competition stuff because Noah talked me into it. I felt like I owed him too. The horse club was great because there were more girls there. They were fine to be around. Until this week. But anyways, I think that’s why his mom thought that. The worst thing my mom ever did was stay in our small town and come out right when I was into girls.” He shook his head. �
�She’s my mom. I love her. But things are already complicated.” He took his hat off, pulled off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes.
I pulled his hands away from his face to make him look at me. It was the first time I’d seen him without glasses and his hat at the same time. I gasped. “Oh my, you look like Hunter Hayes. Why didn’t I see that before?” That wasn’t going to help me keep my distance at all.
“Who?”
“The country singer.”
“Oh yeah, I know of him.”
“That’s not what I was going to say. I was going to tell you to stop worrying about what everyone says. Obviously your mom is secure in who she is.”
“That’s easy for you to say.”
“Yeah, I guess it is. My mom’s not a lesbian, but she isn’t normal either. Sometimes I don’t like it at all. People stare when we aren’t doing the show. She’s weird and I know it. She knows it too and doesn’t care. She still makes friends and finds plenty of guys that want to date her because she is who she is. I still have a hard time, though. Sometimes I want to stay in the Caravan, especially after a week like this one and never try to make friends ever because it’s not worth it. There are always kids that talk smack about my mom and they always assume things about me.” I pulled the string ties on my skirt.
“What kinds of things?” Josh left his glasses on the bench. I stifled a laugh when he squinted at me.
“You remember what Kelly called me? I’m called that often enough. I’ve been hit on more than I want to count, by men even, and none of them wanted to be my friend the way you and Noah have been.” I straightened out my skirt, flattening it over my legs. “My mom totally ignores that stuff when it happens to her because she’s secure in who she is. I try to remember that when I’m not.”
Josh laced his fingers in mine. “I’ll try to remember that, too. Knowing you like me helps. Does looking like Hunter Hayes make you like me more?” He shifted his weight so I’d have to look at him.
“No,” I lied but I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Ha!”
I looked at my phone. “Yeah, well, I have to go.” I headed down the bleachers.
“Wait,” Josh scrambled for his hat and glasses, climbing down behind me.
“What?” I fidgeted, waiting for him to catch up.
“Would you want to kiss Hunter goodbye?” He asked trying hard not to laugh.
I gave him a push and started to leave again when he stopped me.
“I’m just kidding.” Josh squeezed the brim of his hat. “I was afraid you wouldn’t like me after I told you about my mom.” He rubbed my arm lightly. “What you said means a lot. Thank you.” He leaned in, lightly kissing my cheek.
I hugged him tight. When I pulled away to head home, he gave me the most sincere smile and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He was so melting my resolve. Those boys needed to stop being so … so … everything. They were good at digging deep into my heart, making me care deeply for them both.
Noah and his family came to watch the show at our next performance. He made sure they sat off to the side. Thankfully, I didn’t have to look directly at them the whole time. Peppy behaved himself quite well. He hugged me constantly when it was over. I gave him several treats when we finished before handing him off to my mom.
Noah waited for me to finish visiting with the crowd and selling toys before he brought his mom, dad, and brothers to speak with me.
“That was a lovely show.” Noah’s mom held onto his arm.
“Thank you,” I struggled to smile with warmth. Show smile, show smile, I screamed in my head. I plastered one across my face. Noah introduced me to his brothers. He hit the younger in the arm when he tried flirting with me. I still squirmed under his mom’s scrutinizing looks. I wouldn’t allow myself to look at Noah for long and finally his mom hurried them off to watch another show on the other side of the fairgrounds before they went home.
26
When I met up with everyone at the end of the day, I struggled to keep my feelings under control. Both boys, I needed to be friends. FRIENDS. Rachel and Bree hung on me talking non-stop about all the boys they had been trying to get numbers from all day. I longed for it to be Noah and Josh hanging on my arms instead. They walked behind me.
“I want to do karaoke,” Bree said as we walked by the stand with music blaring. Unfortunately it wasn’t quite loud enough to drown out a couple of kids singing badly.
“Can you sing?” I asked.
“Anyone can sing,” Bree answered.
“But does the rest of the world think it’s singing?” Josh asked.
“Like you should talk.” I pointed at him.
“Hey, I was trying to make a spectacle out of myself at the time.”
“Sure you were.” I shook my head. “You did do a great job of that.”
“So let’s see who can sing the best,” Bree said.
“Game on.” Josh held out his hand for the girls to step up to the book of songs.
“I know what we should sing.” Bree searched through the book and pointed at a song. It was Taylor Swift’s ‘22’. “You want to sing this with me?”
Rachel agreed readily.
“You two sing it. I want to pick one of my own.” I mashed my fingers nervously and studied my nails.
Once it was their turn, Bree and Rachel sang their hearts out, pretending to be Taylor Swift. I busted a gut over their silliness. They were out of tune sometimes. They sure didn’t care. It was the perfect song for the two girls, having fun at the fair.
I skimmed through the book until I found my song. My hands were sweaty and my heart pounded harder than the bass speaker thumping to the music. Performing in the show was so much easier. I glanced over at the boys a couple of times. They laughed so hard at the two girls as they continued to act out the song.
When they walked offstage, they handed me the microphone.
I gripped it tight enough to strangle it as Kasey Musgraves ‘Follow your Arrow’ started to play. Soon I got into it and I could sing almost like Kasey and kept my eyes fixed on Josh each time I playfully sang the chorus. I shifted my gaze to Noah when Josh rubbed his reddening face to hide from me. Noah smiled the biggest smile as if he knew exactly why I chose that song.
When I finished, anxiety hit me full force when everyone around the booth clapped and cheered for me. I nearly started to cry when my nerves got the best of me once I was offstage. To manage my freak out, I kept my distance when Josh and Noah stepped up to take their turn.
They both fiddled with their microphones as they waited for the DJ to start their song. Noah nervously shifted his weight back and forth. Josh bounced from foot to foot, bursting with energy. He grabbed my hand pulling me closer to the stage. I still wanted to hide.
When the music started to play, I covered my mouth in happy surprise when Hunter Hayes ‘Wanted’ played. I never told them how much I loved that song. Always reserved Noah sang spot on throughout the song and he never took his eyes off me, even pointing at me several times. Josh joined him on the chorus and then it was a little weird with both of them singing to me at the same time. I blinked away tears far too often and hugged myself. Bree and Rachel whispered something to me. I didn’t hear them. I was savoring every word.
Without skipping a beat, Josh took off his glasses when Hunter Hayes ‘Storm Warning’ blared from the speakers. My jaw fell open when every note he sang was perfect and not off key. So what was going on the night we went to see Weird Al? The song was fast and he sang everything with the same high energy and intensity that matched the music.
Bree and Rachel squealed in delight. A crowd gathered around the karaoke tent as Josh continued to sing his heart out to me and bounced all over the stage, putting on a great show. Noah sang with the chorus. When they finished, everyone cheered so loud. You would have thought it was a real concert. However, I was completely speechless and frozen where I stood.
“You should close your mouth before you catch a fly.” Rachel elbowed me in the rib
s.
“Did you know they could sing?” I pointed at the boys as they were mobbed by a crowd.
“No. I had no idea. I think they won the contest, don’t you?” Rachel pulled on my arm. “They were both singing to you.”
“That’s kind of awkward.” I shoved my hands in the pockets of my shorts. My face flamed hotter than it ever had in my whole life. People stared and smiled at me as much as they complimented the boys.
Once the boys were close enough, I threw my arms around them both. I wasn’t going to say a word or I would ugly cry.
“Are you about to cry because your ears are bleeding?” Josh asked once he put his glasses back on.
“Oh, heck no. I thought you guys sounded like a real concert. You totally knocked my socks off.”
“I think you’re lying. They’re still on your feet.” Josh smirked at me.
I pushed Josh, but quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. I did the same with Noah. “I don’t know how to act. Who has two boys serenading them at once? I think I’m still melting over it.”
I was overwhelmed with so many feels that I let them both go and stuffed my hands in my pockets again.
“You guys totally won.” Rachel’s eyes were glassy. “I wish a guy would sing like that to me someday.”
Bree grabbed Rachel’s arm. “I’m all fangirling too. How come nobody knows how well you two can sing?”
“I didn’t know.” Noah shrugged, shaking his head.
“Did too. We’ve been singing to that stuff all the time.” Josh playfully punched Noah’s arm.
“I didn’t think we were any good. That was just something to do. We were just making noise because you can’t ever stand still long enough to brush a horse.”
“Maybe. But I knew you were good.” Josh pointed in the direction he wanted us to walk.
“How come you were singing so bad the other night?” I wedged my body in between the boys as they walked along the path.