I reached up and grabbed any part of him I could get. Hot, deep pleasure radiated from his fingers, melting into my groin. It pooled deep inside me, and he massaged my clit faster, both of our eyes locked so completely I couldn’t imagine orgasming any other way ever again. With his free hand, he reached up and slid it over my mouth when I started moaning. My body shook, and my thighs barely supported my weight.
I turned around in his arms and wrapped mine around him, clinging to his hard, lean body. His hands held my head to his chest. I never wanted to go back home. Not to that state that had trapped me. Not to my parents that had left me. Not to the insanity that taunted me. I wanted to stay here with Wade. In a city he knew. In a city I wanted to get to know.
But that couldn’t happen. He didn’t want to be here. He hadn’t said yes to forever with me. We were wrapped around each other for now. When all I wanted was to stay.
He moved to cup my face and urged me back. In his eyes, it looked like he wanted everything I did. I could almost believe it, except on the edge of his gaze was a tiny smattering of fear. Fear of letting go.
Perhaps he always would. Maybe I was the one who had to accept that.
“You drive me crazy.” His forehead pressed to mine. “Put your bikini on and hand me the tags. You’re wearing it out of here.”
He watched me put the tiny, baby pink bikini on. It hugged my breasts and showed off my hardened nipples. The bottoms were tight, but comfortable, arching up my waist to show off my figure. I tore the tags off and handed them to him.
He licked his lips. “Don’t forget your clothes.”
Feeling drunk and lethargic, I did so, following him out like a lovesick puppy. He nabbed a pair of flip-flops after asking me my size, a bottle of sunscreen spray, and two beach towels. I felt naked stepping outside, especially after a passing group of teenage boys made me feel like I was an animal at the zoo licking herself while they watched.
Wade noticed too. “What are you looking at?”
The ringleader, full of acne scars and gawky legs, grinned. “Your hot ass girlfriend.” They all giggled like virgins and ran away.
Wade smirked. I stomped ahead of him for the street where his truck was parked. “See what you do to people? You make them stupid.”
“You’re a jock. You were already stupid.” I put my flip-flops on, the same color as my bikini.
That made him laugh harder. “Are you excited for the beach?”
“I was. Now I just want a nap.” I sank into the front seat.
I saw the beach before he’d announced it. It took him almost a half-hour to find a parking spot, but the entire time I studied the sun shimmering off the blue water. The rays dancing in the sky. The golden sand, smooth and unblemished. There were a lot of people near the pier. Wade took my hand and led me onto the beach, working our way through the crowd, going deeper down the beach, until it was just us and the beautiful, rocky coast.
It smelled like fresh air and salt; the air whipped through the rocks and the waves were thicker.
We shook out our towels and laid side by side. I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. I’d never been somewhere so pretty before. There were no corn fields for hundreds of miles. There were so many people I could just fade into the crowd, just one more person chasing their dreams. I grinned at him.
He smiled back. “I’m going to change into my shorts really quick.”
He didn’t say to look away, so I didn’t. I studied the curve of his tight ass as he quickly pulled his jeans and briefs off, exchanging them for his blue board shorts. His body glistened in the sun. He gave me his hand. “Let’s go in the water.”
Hand-in-hand, we ran in the sand. My toes dug into the warm granules. I felt weightless in the water. Water had always felt so unhindered. The ocean so much more.
There was something strangely alluring to me feeling so entirely vulnerable. A speck in the vast ocean; how could I be wrong here?
We spent the entire afternoon on the beach. We napped on the shore, running back to the water for a quick swim when it got too hot. We ate street hot dogs from a vendor that tasted so good Wade ran after him to get two more. We made out in the lazy, Los Angeles sun. Slow, indulgent kisses. He tasted like escape and I was running right into his kiss.
I bottled the memory up and stowed it away, knowing I’d think about it for years to come. The easy comfort I felt around him was special, but the hope I felt was far more special.
Chapter Fourteen
Wade
I made memories with Sab unknowingly.
I didn’t know one day I’d need them. I didn’t differentiate between the moments that would stick with me forever, and the moments that would fade away with time. They were just there. Unsuspecting.
With Esmaie, I knew better. I knew to appreciate every single moment, the good and the bad. I knew when I was living a moment I’d think about forever. I watched her wash off at the showers, the setting sun falling over the water. The chick who let her borrow her soap asked for it back, and Es gave her a cute smile before handing it off. I watched her pink lips say, “thank you,” before she returned to washing herself.
I’d never forget today.
And she had no idea how special it was. The beach was Sab and my thing. We went every chance we got. I didn’t think I’d be able to stop thinking about her, but I guiltily hadn’t thought about her all afternoon. It was hard to with Esmaie around.
With her infectious grin, her bright green eyes cracking jokes, or lowered with lust as we made out like two lovesick teenagers. I couldn’t keep my hands off her. Didn’t even want to try.
How could an emotion so strong settle inside me so fast? I didn’t know how to hold on to it, only that I had to figure out a way.
She came running over to me, her towel wrapped around her body. Grin still plastered on her beautiful face.
“All clean?” I asked, wanting to kiss her again. “Joanna texted. She wants to meet at this Chinese restaurant in Echo Park.”
“I need to change.”
I looked around. I didn’t want to go home. My parents were no doubt home. I’d already gotten twelve calls from my mother, which meant Jo had squealed. And one text from my father. You better not avoid your mother. Over the years, his warmth had greatly diminished. At least for me.
“Let’s do it in the truck.”
It was hard to drive knowing she was getting dressed just inches away. I almost ran a light trying to get a peek. I’d done so quick, rubbing my pits with deodorant and towel drying my hair. It took Esmaie the entire drive to finish, but when she stepped out, she looked gorgeous in a pair of black jean shorts and a blue and purple flannel shirt tied at her waist, her white cami beneath it hugging her tits. She’d dried her hair as best as she could, braiding it at the side so the rest hung down her back. Light makeup, and her strawberry perfume. With her flip-flops I could have sworn she’d lived in LA her entire life. She looked like she belonged more than anyone else on the street.
I spotted Joanna the moment we stepped into the restaurant. She’d gotten Dad’s dark hair, and it hung down her back with wavy curls. She was bobbing her head to whatever was playing on her phone. She loved music. Other than volleyball, it was her true passion, but as the star daughter she had to do what our parents wished for.
The sight of her made me smile. Truth was, I missed her the most. She’d lost Sab too; they were best friends. Except she’d moved on. I hadn’t.
She looked up when the hostess greeted us. Her eyes, the same color as mine, studied the scene in her way. Fast and effectively. She had Esmaie pegged down and me in seconds. She grinned and shot to her feet, ripping out her headphones.
“Finally. I’m starving. Hi, I’m Joanna. But everyone calls me Jo.” She extended her hand to Esmaie.
Who I assumed would balk but didn’t. She took my sister’s hand easily and smiled. “Hi, Jo. I’m Esmaie. Everyone calls me crazy.”
Jo laughed. She flung her arms around me. “I missed you, b
ig brother.”
I hugged her back, inhaling the familiar scent of her rosemary and lemon shampoo. “Missed you too, loser.”
She whispered in my ear. “What the fuck? She’s hot. How’d you do that?”
I laughed, giving her a wink. “Can we eat now? All we had were street dogs.”
We were seated in the middle of the busy restaurant.
“So,” Jo said, not wasting any time. She pointed her chop sticks at me and Es. “Explain this.”
I didn’t want to do this in front of Esmaie. This was too new to explain. It was too intense and fragile. “You have no filter.” I ran a hand through my hair, giving her a look that said, shut up, dickhead.
She turned to Esmaie instead. “Are you dating my brother?”
Es looked at me, mouth agape. “Um… am I?”
“Oh,” Jo said, starting to put shit together. “Still new.” She frowned, completely and utterly confused by me. She tilted her head to the side. “You bring a new girl home? Either you’re dumb and blind, or just scared, or she’s got a gun pointed at you under the table.”
“Dumb and scared,” Esmaie supplied, sipping her ice-cold water all happily and shit, like she had an ally now.
Jo sat back, folding her hands together. She was two years younger than me, but never acted like it. “When did you meet?”
“Oh, come on, Jo. Stop with this. Yes, we’re dating.”
“We are?” Es piped in, loving this.
“Yes,” I growled. “We are. You know we are. You want to hear me say it? That it?”
She blinked at me, and then pointed her finger in my face. “Yes, I want that. And don’t snap at me. Or I’ll rip your dick off and glue it to your forehead.”
“You’re going to need a pretty big damn bottle of glue.” I wanted to toss her ass on the table and fuck the shit out of her.
She didn’t even deny it. “It’ll make you an even bigger dick head than you’re being.”
Jo snickered, snagging both of our attention. “Yo, this girl is amazing. She’s never going to take your shit like Sab did.”
I glared. “Sab never took my shit.”
She glared right back. “Are you kidding me? She always let you do what you wanted. She never told you when you messed up. Never told you the truth. She thought you were perfect. It was the only thing about her I didn’t like. She was too damn nice. Made me look like an asshole all the time.” But she laughed, perfectly fine being a jerk. “You need that. You’re not right all the time, Wade.”
“You’re not even right half the time,” Es commented.
Oh, great, they were both chewing me out. I looked around desperately for the waiter, waving him over. “Can we order now?”
“Sure,” he said brusquely, pulling out his ordering pad.
I hadn’t been here in years, but still knew what I wanted. I ordered enough for everyone, but of course, Jo had to add on extra just to be a dick.
“How’s your life going? Dating anyone? Find anyone fucked up enough to put up with you?”
Jo sneered. “Oh yeah, like this one’s been around long enough to find out your pretty face is as deep as it gets.”
“You mean there’s nothing else to want but his looks?” Esmaie gasped. “Oh, crap. And here I thought we had a connection. Whelp, I’m out.” She started to get up but fell back down and giggled when Jo did the same thing.
“You’re both dicks.” I put my face in my hands.
“Okay, Okay, I’ll lay off for now. How long are you in town?”
“I don’t know yet. After this dinner, not long.”
“Are you staying at home?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Are you going to answer anything?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Esmaie sighed. “I’ll be right back.”
My hands dropped, and my head snapped up. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know yet,” she teased, using my words against me, a sad edge to her eyes. She patted my shoulder. “To the bathroom.”
I watched her walk away, weaving around the tables for the restrooms in the back. Turning to Jo, I found her staring intently at me. “We don’t have much time, answer my questions quick. How long have you been dating?”
“Not long.”
“Do you have feelings for her?”
“Yes.” My heart pounded admitting that out loud.
“This is huge, Wade. H-U-G-E. Is it happening fast?”
“So fast,” I huffed, pleading with her for something, anything, that would make sense of it.
She leaned forward. “Good. If you give yourself time to think you’ll never like your choice. You’ll sabotage this. If you want to, then fine, but this is the first woman you’ve liked since you lost Sabrina. You know what this means?”
“What?”
“It’s time to move on.”
I reared back, genuinely pissed. “Never.”
“Then break up with that girl right now or I’ll do it for you.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you cannot move on with someone else if you don’t let go of what you once had. It’s never going to happen.”
What did she know? Nothing. Not a damn single thing. Es returned just in time. The moment she did, my agitated soul was instantly soothed. I took her hand under the table and held it on my lap. Stroking her palm. Stroking her cute fingers. Pressing my fingers to her inner wrist to feel her pulse. We ate with one hand and drank with one hand and held on to each other with the other.
Thankfully, Jo cut the crap out and instead moved on to embarrassing me, regaling Esmaie with stories of my childhood I preferred no one to know, let alone her. Like the time Jo bet me fifty bucks I couldn’t go a month without jacking off.
“That’s hilarious,” Es moaned, laughing so hard the table next door glared at us.
Jo was too. “He couldn’t get rid of it. He walked around with a boner all day. Thankfully, it was during the summer. Sabrina joined the summer boys and girls club program to avoid him.”
Hearing that part, I laughed just as hard, picturing how Sab ran from me all month. “She nicknamed me Oscar Meyer Wadenier.”
Jo almost threw up, she laughed so hard. The table next door shushed her, but she gave them the finger and kept laughing.
“What about that one time you went through that no underwear phase and I pulled your pants down in the lunch room?” Chow mein flew out of her mouth. “It made that freshman girl cry. Every time she saw you, she ran away screaming.”
Suffice it to say, we got kicked out of the restaurant.
“Hey!” Jo shouted on the sidewalk as we clutched our sides from laughing too hard. “There’s a crazy frat party tonight. We should go. Get drunk, dance, do dumb shit, and by dumb shit I mean a few jocks.” She started dancing. “Are you down, Es?”
She’d already taken to calling her Es. Someone save me.
Esmaie bit her lip, looking at me nervously. “It sounds like fun.”
“It’s not like a frat party at our university. They’re crazier here. You ready for that?”
That only seemed to make her even more excited. "Yes."
Jo squealed. “We’ll drive there and Uber home together. Sounds good? I’ll get you drunk and happy before you have to face Mom and Dad.”
I couldn’t be the one to ruin their excitement. For one, I rarely drank with my sister. She wasn’t twenty-one yet, and I didn’t want her drinking. But I’d be there. And secondly, this trip was about taking a break. Having fun. Escaping. A slow grin spread across my face. “What the hell. Let’s.”
Es and I followed Jo there. I didn’t miss the LA traffic, that was for sure. We pulled up to a street of housing that didn’t look like the typical frat houses. The street was packed and the house on the corner was exploding with music and people.
We met Jo on the street. “Why aren’t we closer to campus?”
“The frats are getting cracked down on lately. They all teamed to
gether to buy a house off campus. Each frat rents it out on the weekends.”
“Ah, glad to see the scholarship I gave up is going to good use.”
Jo put her arm around my waist and we all walked in together.
“You know the rules, don’t you, girls?”
“What rules?” Es said, which meant she didn’t.
Jo rolled her eyes. “Yes, Wade. Don’t drink a drink you didn’t get yourself, and only if it’s unopened. Don’t leave your drink unattended. And if you feel weird, tell someone. Don’t wander off with anyone I don’t know. And don’t hold your fart in. It gives you pimples.”
I laughed, swinging my arm over both their shoulders. We all three walked into the party together and were completely immersed in house music and strobe lights. Smoke, thick as clouds, hung in the air, smelling strongly of weed. I hated it immediately. It was too loud. Too busy.
Jo took my hand and pulled us both through the chaos, but we ended up losing each other two seconds in. She’d let go of my hand, though, so I figured she didn’t want her brother up her ass the whole night. I turned to Esmaie, to find her hugging herself and looking around with wide eyes.
I put my mouth over her ear. “How much do you hate this place?”
She smiled knowingly. “I want my Kindle.”
That made me laugh. “Come on, let’s get a drink.”
It took an exasperating amount of time finding an unopened bottle. I scooped up a new bottle of peach vodka and a six pack of lemon lime soda and carried it out back with us. There was a pool, but all I saw were naked tits and too many dicks. Es and I settled on a swinging bench on the edge of the party.
“Are those real?” she squinted at a pair of bouncing tits in the water.
They were attached to a red head with a tattoo on her face. “No. Here.” I handed her a can. “Maybe if I get drunk enough you can take advantage of me.”
She smiled at the can. “There you go again, you romantic bastard.”
I eased back in the swinging chair, watching the youth of the world spin anarchy. I gave up before I started, popping open a can of soda.
The Jock and the Dreamer Page 12