“Evie … have ye been cryin’?” her mother asked, and Evie instinctively raised her hand to her face.
“Nay … nay, mother, ‘Tis … ‘Tis the cold. There is a blizzard out there, and I have nearly caught my death of cold,” she replied.
Her mother looked at her for a moment, as though she intended to ask further questions, but instead, she just smiled and shook her head.
“ a harsh winter that we have upon us, lass. A harsh winter indeed,” she replied.
“Aye, and there is nay let up in the weather,” Evie replied, gazing into the flames of the fire, “we shall soon be cut off from every road, east, west, north, and south.”
“Aye, but we have plenty of wood, plenty of victuals, and plenty of stories to tell. We shall be quite all right,” her mother said, laying aside her sewing.
“All is well when we are together, mother,” Evie replied.
Evie felt glad to be sitting with her mother. She could not tell her the source of her anxiety, but simply to be there at her side, in the safety and comfort of the Great Hall, was enough.
I was such a fool to think there was anythin’ more to this than an enemy takin’ advantage, she said to herself.
She had been blinded by her affections of Hamish and entirely taken in by his charms. How would he have used her? What games would he have played? She was rid of him now and had no intention of seeing him again.
He shall think that ‘Tis I who have betrayed him, she thought to herself.
“Evie, ye and I have nae talked in a while. There are always men around, so many men,” her mother said, shaking her head and laughing.
“Aye, mother, I miss the times we used to sit together or take walks upon the moorlands. In the springtime, I would like to dae that again,” Evie replied.
“And we shall, but yer father and brothers are at their work now, they shall nae appear for some while yet. Let us sit and talk a while,” her mother said.
“What of?” Evie asked, wondering just how much her mother suspected.
“Ye are still a young lass, but I often think of what shall become of ye. There is nay hurry, of course, but it will soon be time that a husband was found for ye. Ye cannae remain here at Kirklinton forever,” her mother replied.
“But I am happy here, mother and neither Owen nor Rory are married either,” she said.
“But they are men, Evie. They will look after themselves when the times comes, for yer father and I will nae be here forever. The winters pass by, and I worry that ye shall have nay one to protect ye when yer father and I are gone,” her mother said, looking at her lovingly.
“Daenae talk like that, mother. Ye shall see many winters yet, I am certain of it,” Evie said.
“But even if I dae, Evie, ‘Tis still important that ye are married soon, for the good of the clan and ye too,” her mother said.
Evie sighed, she desperately wanted to tell her mother of her feelings. Despite her anger for Hamish, she could not rid herself of the thought that she had truly fallen in love with him.
At least the man I thought him to be, she said to herself.
Her feelings on the matter were so confused. She had no desire to see him again for her anger was fresh, yet she had every desire to see him, too, to tell him what a wicked man he was and how much he had hurt her.
“Did … did ye fall in love with Father the moment ye laid eyes upon him?” Evie asked, and her mother smiled.
“I … well, I found him allurin’ and a man I wished to know better. But yer grandfather told me in nay uncertain terms that I was nae to have anythin’ to dae with him. But …” and here she paused, “it was that forbiddin’ which caused me to desire him more.”
Her mother’s words struck Evie like a bolt of lightning, and she wanted to cry out in sorrow and pain. She loved Hamish, but she hated him too. She, too, had been forbidden to have anything to do with him and yet that had only increased her desire for him.
“And … ye still pursued him?” Evie asked.
“In secret, aye. But yer marriage will nae be like that, Evie. There are many men on the borders of good and kindly disposition, men who would make a suitable match for ye. When the spring comes, we shall see,” her mother replied.
Evie nodded, she felt such a sense of betrayal. Perhaps the same feeling her family had felt when they realized she had fraternized with the enemy. But she could not rid herself of the thought of Hamish, nor of what he had done.
Can I just forget him? She thought to herself as she made her way to bed that night.
But the answer was very clear, and despite the pain, she felt at his betrayal her final thought that night was still of Hamish and the fact that falling out of love was far harder than falling into it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
When Evie awoke the next morning, her first thought was of Hamish. She tried to dismiss it, that ugly view of him and Isabella embracing upon the path etched permanently in her mind. It was to be a dark and dreary day, the weather reflecting her mood, and she dressed hurriedly, for her chambers were icy cold, and no fire had been laid in the hearth.
Downstairs, she found her parents at their breakfast, and she was grateful for the steaming bowl of porridge, which was placed in front of her. Neither Owen nor Rory were present, and her father soon left, leaving her and her mother alone.
“Will ye collect the horses this mornin’?” her mother asked, and Evie nodded.
“Aye, the walk will dae me good,” she said.
“Good for what?” her mother asked, and Evie blushed.
“Good for … well, just good. If I go quickly, it will warm me up,” she replied, and her mother nodded.
“I am stayin’ put by the fire. Ye shall nae see me move until dinner,” she said.
Evie finished up her porridge and put on her shawl and cloak. She would go to the village and perhaps pay a visit to the kirk. She liked to sit there sometimes in the stillness and watch the candles flickering by the statues, imagining her uncle there as a boy.
“I may sit in the kirk for a while, mother,” she said as she prepared to leave, and her mother nodded.
“Aye, but be back before nightfall, Evie,” she replied.
“I will,” Evie said, hurrying out of the Great Hall towards the courtyard.
She felt grateful for the presence of her family around her. They did not know it, but after the upset of yesterday, they were a comfort, an unconditional source of love quite different from her fleeting fancies over Hamish. She wondered if he had been confused yesterday, arriving at the stream to find no one there.
He can think what he likes, she thought to herself as she made her way out of the gates and down the track towards Lochrutton.
It felt good to be alone with her thoughts and, despite the icy wind and the snow falling around her, she felt pleased to be doing something for her family instead of sneaking off onto the moorlands.
What was I thinkin’ she said to herself, as she reached the fork in the track which led across the heathers towards the castle of the MacBrydes, I was nae thinkin’ at all.
At the tree line, she paused, looking back over the moorlands towards Kirklinton. Her father’s castle rose majestically from the snow, a symbol of power and strength.
We Elliotts daenae need an alliance with traitors, she said to herself, shaking her head at the thought of how foolish she had been.
But just as she turned, she was startled by footsteps behind her, a hand grabbing hold of her and pulling her into the trees.
“Evie, quiet now, we cannae be seen here,” Hamish’s voice said, as she struggled in his arms.
“Hamish … let me go, get off me,” she cried, but he had pulled her into the trees, and in the struggle, they fell together in the snow.
“Evie … what are ye doin’ ‘Tis me, Hamish,” he said, smiling at her in surprise.
“How dare ye,” she cried, pushing him away and staggering to her feet, “how dare ye come here like this, I never want to see ye again.”
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His face turned to surprise, and he looked hurt, stepping back from her as she stared at him in anger.
“I … Evie? When ye didnae come to the stream yesterday, I was worried and wondered what had happened to ye. I knew ye would be comin’ to Lochrutton to collect the horses today, and so I came and hid here. Dae ye … dae ye nae want to see me again?” he asked.
“I never want to see ye again, Hamish. I hate ye, how could ye dae that to me? I saw ye. I saw ye and Isabella together on the path yesterday, I saw ye kiss her,” Evie cried.
She wanted to run away, never to see him again, tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke. A look of surprise now crossed his face, and he shook his head, smiling and beginning to laugh.
“Evie … nay, it was she who kissed me. She followed me along the path, I didnae know she was there. She wanted to walk with me, but I said nay and sent her back. She grabbed me and kissed me, there was nothin’ more to it, I promise ye,” he replied.
Evie was quite taken aback. She had been so convinced of Hamish and Isabella’s liaison and was quite blinded to any other explanation. He shook his head and laughed again.
“But …” she began.
“But nothin’ Evie, ye saw what ye thought ye saw and waited nae for my explanation. I was worried when I couldnae find ye, that is why I came back here today. Come through, we cannae dawdle upon the path, I came lookin’ for ye, ‘Tis nae safe here, let us go back to the stream, I am sorry for what ye saw, but I am here now,” he replied, glancing back behind him, before leading her down the path towards their usual meeting spot.
“I … I thought ye had gone back to her, I thought ye had betrayed me,” she said, but he shook his head and smiled.
“I made my choice, Evie. These old rivalries, all this nonsense about the English. I will nae have it any longer. She followed me along the path and forced herself upon me, she is jealous. ‘Tis ye for whom I grow fonder every day. Forget my betrothal, forget the clan, forget it all, it matters nae. All that matters is for us to be together. If that is what ye want?” he said, and she nodded.
“ what I wish for too,” she replied, and he took her by the hand, settling himself opposite her by the stream when at last they arrived there.
There, they talked long into the afternoon, so that soon the twilight was falling, and each knew they must soon depart from one another’s company. But each of them wished only to stay, and Evie longed for Hamish to take her far away to a place where they could be together.
“I … I must leave now, Evie and ye must be getting’ home, else yer mother and father will worry for ye,” he said, glancing up at the darkening sky above.
It had stopped snowing now, but the clouds still lay thick and foreboding above, promising further snow. Evie nodded and drew her shawl tightly around her, as Hamish placed his arms gently about her shoulders.
“When will we see each other again?” she asked, not knowing how long she could bear to be parted from his side.
“Soon, I hope. In three days? Here again at noon. But we must both know that if the other does nae arrive, then some catastrophe has happened. We are both committed to this now, Evie. There is nay goin’ back,” he said, and she nodded.
“I have nay intention of changin’ my mind, Hamish. I have made my choice, and that is that. I know what it means, what it will mean. But I cannae deny my heart, I cannae deny that I have fallen in love with ye, Hamish and that each day that love grows stronger,” she said.
He looked at her and smiled, his strong arms enfolding her in such delightful safety that she never wished to let him go.
“Then we will see each other again, in three days, at noon,” he replied, and quite suddenly he kissed her.
Evie had not been prepared for such an act. He had seemed so shy, wary even of such displays of affection. When she had kissed him upon the cheek it had seemed to surprise him, but now, his lips felt soft against her own. A perfect moment in which her whole body felt caught up in this tender act of union.
He held her close to him, his arms strong yet gentle around her. She felt a strange sensation inside her, one she had not felt before, a passionate arousal. Was this as it was meant to feel? If so, she liked it, it was like nothing she had imagined, the passion ringing through her, his touch so tender and wonderful As their lips parted, she kissed him again, willing further his bold advance. A shiver ran through her, her first kiss a moment she would remember forever, and she almost gasped with delight.
“I … I am sorry,” he said, sounding embarrassed, but now she kissed him once more, never wanting this encounter to end, and he kissed her again, the passion in him surely that which she too was feeling now.
“I … oh, Hamish, I shall count every hour until we are together again,” she said, as their lips parted, and he blushed, still embarrassed perhaps at his forwardness.
“And … and I shall dae so too,” he replied, and he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, “and I shall think of ye at every moment.”
Evie watched as Hamish made his way back up the track and onto the ridge. She wanted to run after him, to take hold of him and kiss him herself for already she missed him and wanted him at her side. As he reached the top of the ridge, Hamish turned and waved to her. She smiled, watching as he disappeared over the ridge, before turning and making her way back down the path by the stream.
It would be dark soon, and she knew she had to hurry if she were not to arouse the suspicions of her parents. They would wonder where she had been, though the story of the horses would surely be enough to convince them of her sincerity. The snow had begun to fall again, and by the time that Evie came in sight of the castle at Kirklinton, she was chilled to the bone.
The lights of her father’s castle were a welcome sight, and Evie hurried across the moorlands, eagerly anticipating a hot supper and the warmth of the hearth. She felt no sense of guilt at having met Hamish that day. Far from it, in fact. She knew she was doing no harm and that no treachery on her part was involved. She had not betrayed her family or shared secrets with a supposed enemy.
All she had done was to fall in love, and if her parents could not accept that, then it was they who were in the wrong. Evie could not understand why her mother was unable to accept such a thing, though she knew that to admit her true feelings for Hamish would mean certain ostracism. Her mother had fallen in love with a man she was forbidden from loving, a man whom her Evie’s grandfather had forbidden her mother form having anything to do with. But love had proved stronger than any sense of duty, and Evie knew that her feelings were the same.
I wouldnae be here if it were nae for my mother and father disobeyin’ my grandfather, she thought to herself, as she hurried towards the castle gates.
The guards on the gatehouse above called down to her, for strangers were not welcome at Kirklinton, but they soon opened the gates when they realized who she was.
“The darkness is closin’ in now, lass. Ye should be careful upon the moorlands at such a late hour,” the soldier called down.
“I have been at the blacksmith’s,” Evie replied, beginning her deception, “I waited to see if he could shod the horses today, but alas to nay avail.”
“Well, come along inside, lass. The Laird is in his hall with yer mother and brothers, we have a visitor too,” the soldier replied, as Evie hurried through the gates.
“A visitor? Who is it?” Evie replied, curious as to who should have arrived at Kirklinton on such a treacherous night.
“Two visitors, in fact, yer Uncle Duncan and young Caitlin Macready, she comes to take shelter from the storm,” the soldier replied.
Evie was delighted to hear this, and she hurried inside, eager to greet her uncle and her friend.
Perhaps Caitlin would understand, Evie thought, though she knew her friend had no love for the MacBrydes, surely though she can understand love.
Evie took a deep breath and hurried across the courtyard towards the keep. She felt no sense of guilt in returning to her family
, only the deep longing in her heart to see Hamish again and to feel his touch, to kiss him and tell him again that she loved him.
We were meant to be together, this is fate, she told herself, as she prepared to face her family and all that lay ahead.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Evie paused outside the door of her father’s hall. She could hear voices coming from inside, the sound of her family in conversation.
“Perhaps ye will speak with her, Caitlin. She trusts ye. Make her see reason in all of this. She has been such a fool,” Evie could hear her father saying.
“Ye cannae always account for love, brother,” the voice of her uncle Duncan replied, and a murmur of discontent went up around the room.
A Highlander Born From Chaos (Highlanders 0f Kirklinton Book 2) Page 15