by Desiree Hunt
Sirius
“Sirius, we’re trusting you. Finding the soulmate to the Queen’s son, Volex, is a great honor for the Celestial Mates agency.”
My nervousness has my tiny wings flapping furiously, bobbing me up and down in mid-air instead of holding a steady height. “I will not let us down! I will search every corner of the known universe to find his true love by…” I pause. “When did he say he needed her again?”
“He said, and I quote, ‘now,’ ” answers revered cupid Angeline. “The Queen is throwing a matrimony ball in Volex’s honor this very night, and he needs his true love with him on his arm so that he can forevermore be guaranteed a happy tomorrow.”
“NOW!” My focus wavers, and I hover myself right into the crystal ceiling and hit my head.
“Furthermore, it’s been checked already. The crown prince’s match does not exist within the known universe. You must go beyond.”
“But—”
“No excuses, Sirius. You have long bragged that you could find anyone’s true mate.”
“Faster than colliding quasars explode!”
“Then, go. Now. There is no time to be lost.”
Chapter 4
Aisha
There are bad pick-up lines. There are pick-up lines that make no sense. And finally, there are pick-up lines that are so damn offensive you wonder how the man saying them still has all of his teeth. But, the one whispered in my ear like a dirty little secret on the 35 Red Line to Moser Park took the cake.
“Your hair smells like burgers, and it’s making me hungry.”
I shudder (understatement of the century) and set my kindle down in my lap. After nine hours of flipping floppy patties, frying fries, and mopping up pink puke (don’t worry, not gonna elaborate), reading was not so much an indulgence as it was the only way I could maintain my sanity. So when I look up and don’t see Lord Rafe’s muscular form, but some guy leering at me in a fedora and a mustard-stained Limp Bizkit t-shirt, something dies inside of me.
“What the hell?” I blurt out. Immediately, I regret saying anything. For some guys, any response is a green light. And what do you know? This was one of those guys.
Just barely, his nostrils flared. “Your hair smells like burgers, and it’s making me hungry.”
Oh God. He had said that. And not only that, but he thought it was a good idea to repeat it.
No.
Just no.
I drop my kindle in my purse and book it to the back of the bus while my would-be suitor is distracted by a commotion at the front.
I’ve already plopped myself down on the hard, army green seat by the time Mr. Hungry, in his rather finite wisdom, decides it’s a good idea to follow. “You didn’t ask me what I’m hungry for.”
Was this man for real?
I glare up at him. “I don’t want to know what you’re hungry for.”
His caterpillar-like eyebrows wiggle. My skin crawls for one horrific second as if they’d detached themselves from his forehead and scurried up my arm. But, it’s when he starts to lean forward into my space that I’ve had enough.
Pulling myself up to my full height, it’s my turn to leer down at him. In my bare feet I’m six feet tall, but today I’m in my platform sneakers that give me another seven inches.
Mr. Hungry’s face drops long as he stares up at me with saggy, watery eyes. I lean in and he leans back.
“Wha—What?” He scrambles to pull out a phone that I didn’t hear ring. “Gotta take this.” He waves the black-faced phone in the air as if he actually has a call waiting on him. I nod, thoroughly approving of his sudden departure, and watch him teeter-totter to the front of the bus.
I flop back down on the seat and pull my kindle back out of my purse and spend the remainder of the ride in Lord Rafe’s strong arms. Yet, it’s not until I walk through the door of my tiny studio apartment that I really start to decompress as I leave the rest of the world behind.
Even though I’m only twenty-three, I’ve been on my own for a while. My grandmother—who raised me and the only family I care to claim—died a little over two years ago. As for men, they never seem to be worth the trouble. I’ve got plans for my life, and they don’t include nursing some guy’s fragile ego because he’s not as smart or as driven as I am. I won’t put aside my ambitions for anyone. That is not the kind of woman my grandmother raised.
Stripping out of my clothes, I step into the shower to wash off the outside world. Lathering up with my favorite lavender and honeysuckle soap, I let the hot water drive all the stresses from my day.
“I’m going to ace that damn test even if I have to stay up all night studying.”
My professor’s smug face flashes in my mind. I am one semester away from applying for the Environmental Design graduate program at Johns Hopkins, and nothing is going to get in my way.
Getting out of the shower, I wrap myself in a thigh length robe and slip on my fuzzy bunny slippers before putting a small dish of tuna on the fire escape for Mr. Cuddles, the building’s resident stray cat who has started spending most of his evenings with me.
I sit down at my computer and cross my legs. The cool, silky sapphire fabric feels wonderful against my creamy brown skin. It was a little out of my budget, but so worth it. It made me feel like a princess—and ever since I was a little girl, feeling like a princess motivated me to kick ass.
Lacing my fingers and stretching my arms out before me, I achieve a satisfying knuckle crack before buckling down and getting to work. I’ve got my cinnamon dashed coffee next to me and my fuzzy bunny slippers looking expectantly up at me, and I spend the next several hours pouring random facts and theories into my head.
Eventually Mr. Cuddles finds his way in and lays himself across the top of my foot, purring with the satisfaction of a tuna-filled belly. His throaty song of contentment gives me the strength I need to keep going until eventually all of the new knowledge I’m pouring into my head starts dripping out my ears instead.
“Time for a break, Mr. Cuddles,” I announce, bending down to give him a scratch behind one ear.
I get some Sade going over my computer’s little speakers. They’re nothing impressive, but they’re enough to chill my groove. Gathering Mr. Cuddles into my arms, I slouch down and practice my world-class snuggling skills as I close my eyes and lose myself in the music, willing my tension to drain from my shoulders.
A beep from my computer has me opening one eye just enough to see what it’s doing. Even though I haven’t clicked anything, a popup is on my screen.
CELESTIAL MATES!
Find your true love!
FREE FREE FREE
Without giving it a second thought, I click the X to close the window. But instead of going away, the window’s message morphs into:
That’s great! Just a few more steps!
“No, no, no… Get off my screen!” I search the window box for some other way to close it. Maybe I should reboot my computer?
My eyes go wide.
No.
I haven’t saved my latest notes, and the advertisement window isn’t letting me get back to save them.
Shit, shit, shit! “Let me go back!” I demand.
Instead, the advertisement morphs again.
Only takes a couple of minutes to complete!
Results guaranteed!
“I don’t even want a man,” I growl. I had enough on my plate. Sex could wait until after graduation. I take a deep, calming breath and blow it out slowly.
Best decision you’ll ever make!
Just a few short questions!
“Shut up already. I’ll take your quiz.” I click into the middle of the window.
What is your favorite color?
I glance down at my robe. “Well, blue of course.”
Do you enjoy seeing far off lands?
I shrug. “I’ve always wanted to visit Scotland.” I click “Yes” on the window.
Which creature do you prefer?
It shows a picture of some sort of slug-hog and then
a picture of a unicorn. My stomach turns and I suppress a shudder.
Obviously, I prefer the unicorn.
The questions go on from there. This quiz is not the few short questions it promised. Not even close. I try multiple times to back out of the survey. I try to reboot my computer but it won’t turn off. And, I consider how to remove my laptop’s battery when finally the window flashes with a new promise.
Only two questions left!
I growl at it again. Mr. Cuddles’ ear twitches. I press forward, answering the remaining questions.
All of a sudden my screen goes white. Pixilated, flying baby mutants scurry across the screen, shooting confetti out of their arrows. Rainbow, Comic Sans font flashes across the screen.
AWESOME JOB! Now, lean forward and look into your webcam. Remember: Don’t Blink!
I clutch my blue robe tightly to my body. “Oh hell no.” I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but this quiz just crossed the line!
A light flits out from my camera’s eye into me, and I have the sensation that all of me is being seen—my past, my future, and even all I was before my life ever began. Then, my laptop screen goes black.
I leap up. “No!”
Mr. Cuddles jumps away as I pick my laptop up off of my wobbly desk and turn it this way and that.
“No,” I cry out. “Don’t do this to me! Work!” I give it a good shake, as if that will resuscitate the damn thing.
Of course, it doesn’t.
Letting my laptop fall back down to my desktop harder than I should have, I stand and take a step back. Grams always taught me to cool off before acting whenever I got angry. And right now, I was so angry that I feared I’d slam the thing down onto the floor and break it into a million pieces if I got too close.
“I’ve been hacked!” By flying baby mutants! “I finished that stupid test and it rewarded me by destroying my computer!”
I can feel my vein pulsing at my temple, but Mr. Cuddles doesn’t offer any advice beyond a meow before lifting a front paw to lick it.
A small, high-pitched cough squeaks behind me. What the…? I whirl around to see…
Oh my God.
I stumble backward until I hit the wall. Below, there’s a hiss and a scramble of claws over the hardwood floor. Mr. Cuddles has shown himself the exit.
There’s a small creature in front of me, and it looks like someone stuck a baby with an old man face and a flying monkey in a blender.
“I knew I could find you!” the horrific being squeals.
“What? Who?” I stammer.
The being smiles and a terror the likes of which I’ve never seen before fills my entire body.
I’m hallucinating. Oh God, I knew I’ve been working too hard! Maybe I fell asleep a few hours ago. My computer is fine. There was never any test. None of this is happening. All I have to do is wake up…
“Oh, my lady, you are so beautiful!” the little he-it-creepy-whathefuck?!? says as it hovers closer to eye level instead of up near the ceiling. “You will love your new home and family, I promise! Everything you leave behind will become like a dream for you!” As it speaks, it pulls a bow and arrow from its back and points it at me.
It’s time for me to make like Mr. Cuddles and get the hell out of here! I dart to the side, but the creature’s pointy little arrow tracks me.
“This is your language translator,” it declares as it narrows its eyes and sticks its tongue out to the side of its mouth.
He’s concentrating. Going in for the kill. And the only “weapon” I have to hurl at him is my poor laptop.
I couldn’t chuck it at him. It wasn’t working, sure, but something might still be salvageable. I wasn’t going to throw all my work—all my life—away!
I make a mad dash to my apartment door, not caring one bit that I’m about to go out into the world in nothing but a little robe and fuzzy slippers.
My hand closes on the door knob and I’m fighting with the lock when I feel a piercing pressure in the back of my head. Brilliant light fills my eyes, blinding me. Finally, my hands do the work that my eyes can’t see, and I jerk the door open… right into my forehead.
“Oh no, miss!” I hear the little creature exclaim as the blinding light fades to consuming darkness. The world’s sounds become muffled as I’m dragged down into a heavy, dreamless sleep.
Chapter 5
Aisha
“You had better be right about this or she is as good as worthless to me! I mean…You’re sure it’s a she, aren’t you? She looks to have all the right parts but…well…she’s enormous! No, I can’t. Get rid of her. I don’t care what you do with her but get rid of her!”
The deep voice washes over me as my senses slowly return. My head is pounding, but other than that I think I might be okay—at least for the moment.
I’ve been kidnapped.
It’s hard to lay still. It’s even harder to keep my breathing even. Still, I must do it. I have no idea where I am or who’s taken me, but right now I’m at a serious disadvantage. I need information on my captors. I need to start planning my escape.
If escape is even possible.
I grit my jaw. No. I will not think like that. Even if everything goes to shit, I’m gonna go down fighting.
“Volex, she’s from Celestial Mates. Don’t be in such a hurry to end her time here. This still has the chance of being fun!” A second voice ads.
Fun?
End her time here?
Celestial Mates?
It starts to make sense. The quiz. My computer getting hacked. The instruction to stare unblinkingly into my webcam. That…flying-baby-nightmare-thing. They must have drugged me and taken me somewhere.
Despite my best efforts to stay positive, things weren’t looking good. My hand twitches and my breath quickens despite my best efforts to remain calm.
“Oh, good!” a voice squeaks.
I know that voice! That’s that old floating baby’s voice!
“The lady awakens!” it continues.
No no no no no… I’m still asleep! But despite myself, I start breathing faster and harder. I can feel their collective gaze on me. Fear makes my entire body tremble.
The gig is up. I don’t know what I’m facing, but I’m going to go down swinging. In an explosion of energy as big as I can muster, I jump to my feet and raise my fists.
They’re huge. Too huge to be human. Rippling muscles glisten in the darkness. Something hard protrudes from their heads. Viking helmets, perhaps? But those intimidating things aren’t even the worst of it.
It’s their black eyes and their shimmering, blue skin. Something about it seems completely, utterly, unhuman…
A scream gets trapped in my throat. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this.
I’m dreaming. I’m in a nightmare. This can’t be real.
I take a step back and lose my balance, stumbling backwards right off the edge of a cliff.
Okay, so it wasn’t the edge of a cliff. It was the edge of a huge, round bed. Sure enough, my eyes go to the ceiling to see a gigantic circular mirror hanging up there. I watch the two enormous creatures advance from a top-down viewpoint.
They aren’t wearing Viking helmets. Those are horns. Honest-to-god horns. And those muscles are… I gulp, mouth suddenly dry. Not only are they everywhere and huge, but they are blue. In fact, every part of them is that vibrant, shimmering blue.
“Sirius! I don’t know what kind of sick joke you’re playing, but it has to stop now!” the bigger of the two says with all the menace of a thousand-pound gorilla. “Get rid of her. You’re wasting my time, and I have precious little left of it!”
“But Sire, she is your mate! We have searched both the known and unknown universes. She is your only match! She is your soul’s true mate, Sire!”
The gigantic, muscled blue man sighs. “Fine, I’ll throw her over the balcony myself.”
In a move that seems effortless to him, his large hands slide under my arms against my ribs and lift me
from the floor.
I look down. He’s so big. He’s so strong. His waist is so tight, and his arms so huge. I begin to tremble, and my legs give out. The creature growls softly and moves forward until I’m pinned against the wall with only my dangling bunny-toes scraping the floor. And still, lifted as I am, I have to crane my neck back to look up into his shiny black eyes.
“Look at her!” the gigantic creature scowls as he studies me from head to toe. “She’s enormous and gangly. She can’t even walk without falling over. Sirius, take her back at once! She cannot be my mate!”
He drops me and backs away. His muscular chest heaves. It’s—it’s—
I shut my eyes to block out the images flooding my brain. Me reaching out and running my hands over him. His muscles tightening under my tender appraisal. That low growl becoming even deeper as my hands move lower…
I shake my head. Something’s wrong here. I don’t fantasize about random men—especially weird random men who’ve just manhandled me. They must have drugged me. Yes, that’s why my mouth is watering. That’s why I want to taste…
My sex clenches and heats, and my nipples harden despite my desperate situation.
“You gave her a translator, did you not?” the gigantic creature’s voice booms.
“Of course, Sire!”
“Well, she’s not talking. She’s a dullard or something. I don’t think she’s even sane. Take her back!”
I almost push off the wall and confront the oversized water monument with some of my own anger when he calls me a dullard, but the little cherub creature jumps in before me.
“Sire! She’s new to this world. She knows nothing of it. Sire,”—the little cherub’s voice lowers to a mock whisper—“she’s from Earth.”