by Lissa Kasey
Gabe’s gaze landed on the sleeping man, the light from the bathroom not illuminating much, but enough to study him as he slept. Beautiful, much as Gabe had thought the second he’d laid eyes on him. Both in the past at some late-night party, and recently when he’d been reawakened.
The unfinished youth was gone from his features, which pleased Gabe. As if given the chance, he’d have waited until Seiran was older before approaching him. That middle stage of life more appealing, the man, rather than the child, his goal.
What if he had waited? Would those years have been less fraught with trouble and pain? Would he have found someone else? Gabe sucked in a difficult breath at that thought. Someone else having Seiran, loving him.
Seiran had over a decade to find someone else, but hadn’t. Lack of interest? Gabe had thought love a fleeting thing. Another human emotion that rose and retreated like the tide. He also recalled going to that party looking for a meal, but not really caring. He’d been on the edge of the abyss even then. Needing to go to ground, but fearing that when he did, he would not return. It was the way of old vampires. Eventually, unless something big distracted from the monotony of existence, they all went under to never return.
Why hadn’t he? He recalled a vast number of his get. Some very powerful and old. His sire bonds would have fallen to them. Though he feared they might have been too great a burden. It shouldn’t have prevented him from doing what needed to be done, which had been letting himself either pass or renew. The revenant would be fighting less if he’d had a full renewal. But it didn’t feel as wild as the vague bits he could remember intermingled with his past with Seiran.
Gabe left the bathroom light on, and crawled back into bed, wrapping himself around Seiran. He set the phone on the nightstand and spent a bit of time watching Seiran breathe. It was familiar, but different than what he remembered. His short hair, paler than he recalled, though full and light, with the barest hint of curl. Seiran’s skin tanner than the almost alabaster Gabe remembered it had been, as though now he got a lot of sun. His body lean, not soft, but not some sort of bodybuilder like his brother obviously still was.
Half-brother. Right. Gabe recalled they shared a father, but not a mother. And a thought leading to Seiran’s mother gave him horrific memories. Was that terrible woman still involved in their lives? She’d coerced Seiran into having children, even if it had to be an arrangement. Legacies and names to be continued. Gabe recalled a debate with her. The threat to lock Seiran away forever using all the power of the Dominion. Torture for an earth witch, separated from the earth, unable to use his power. Gabe had been part of the coercion. He wondered if he’d been in a clearer mind if he would have just stolen Seiran away, hidden him somewhere until the witches got bored searching for him. Or brought fire and brimstone to the table and showed them his true power?
He sighed. Some big strong vampire he had been. Afraid of some witches.
Seiran’s phone buzzed again, and Seiran stirred in his arms.
Gabe tensed.
Seiran stretched, but didn’t seem alarmed by Gabe wrapped around him. “I should get up. See kids off to school,” he grumbled.
“They already left,” Gabe said quietly. “Kelly and Jamie took them to school.”
Seiran laid there a bit longer, eyes half lidded, looking tired. Finally, he said, “This doesn’t feel real.”
“What doesn’t? You and me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you hate me?” Gabe asked.
“That would be cruel since you confessed love a few hours ago,” Seiran said.
But that wasn’t an answer either. “The emotion is there, but memories still shattered,” Gabe admitted.
“You love me, but don’t know why?” Seiran sighed. “Super. And awkward.”
“I’m sorry,” Gabe said. He ran his fingers along Seiran’s arm, bared and free of the blanket, tracing the feeling of his skin. Familiar and not.
Seiran shivered, but didn’t pull away.
“You can tell me to stop,” Gabe said. “I’m just… trying to remember.”
“I’m not the same.”
“No.” Gabe actually found himself fascinated at how the touch stirred memories, and still felt like a discovery. “Can what I did, in the past, be forgiven?” He finally asked hating the idea of dancing around the issue. “I don’t remember a lot. But am not willing to use it as an excuse.”
“Maybe?” Seiran sounded uncertain.
“Okay.”
“We need to have boundaries.”
“Okay.” Gabe let his fingers roam, gaze following. He thought he could spend days rediscovering the man in his arms. “I don’t remember you having this muscle tone?” Gabe traced the definition of Seiran’s biceps.
“MI has physical requirements for field agents that I insisted be added years ago. Not fair of me to make everyone else meet them and ignore them myself. Sometimes we chase people, or run for our lives.”
“You run for your life?”
Seiran smiled. “No. But again, others do. How can I lead them if not by example?”
Gabe thought back to that first night he’d awoken. Seiran had seemed weary and been bruised, though all that was gone now. “You were injured.”
“Yeah. Not superman as much as some people would like to think I am.”
The memory of a flood and roots flailing from the ground like the arms of a giant octopus startled Gabe. He got the sense of death, temporary, but still there. Bits that refueled his rebirth and power. He was a creature of death after all. “Not far from the truth either.”
Seiran sighed. “It’s not really a superpower.”
“Escaping death?”
“I still die. She drags me back. It’s not fun.”
“You’d rather leave your kids?”
“No,” Seiran said firmly. “They aren’t ready for that.”
But something in his tone told Gabe that Seiran had been ready for a while. That thought hit Gabe like a knife to the heart. Because of him? Or something more?
He hadn’t realized he’d gone silent until Seiran said, “You can’t shut down on me.”
“Sorry. I was lost in thought.”
Seiran sat up, pulling out of Gabe’s arms and frowning at the blankets, as though annoyed to find himself naked beneath them. “Should have known nothing would change.”
“I’m not sure what you mean by that,” Gabe said.
“This,” Seiran waved at Gabe as though he were the problem.
“Me?”
“Yes, you. This whole brooding vampire bullshit. The whole ‘I need no one’ crap.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t need you,” Gabe said. “You’re my Focus.”
“Right.” Seiran threw the blankets back and got out of bed. He gathered up his fallen clothes in a rush, and looked around a minute before finding his phone. Then he headed for the stairs.
Gabe leapt up to follow, feeling like he’d stepped in something big, but had no idea what.
Seiran paused at the top of the stairs, seeming to listen to the house for signs of movement, before opening the door. He darted out, heading around the corner and up the stairs. Gabe stepped out into the kitchen, the dredges of light had turned into a stunning bright wash of whiteness, as he hadn’t realized the kitchen was mostly white with stainless steel.
It was draining standing in that edge of sunlight. He hadn’t felt it that intensely the day before. But he followed Seiran up the stairs and down the hall to Seiran’s room, admiring the witch’s backside on the way.
“Stop following me,” Seiran said as he opened the door to his room. He stepped inside and threw the clothes into a basket near the bathroom door and the phone on his bed.
“Tell me what I did wrong?”
Seiran glanced back his way, gaze trying to meet his, but pausing a few times to wander lower, before snapping back up again. “Could you put some clothes on?”
“Distracting?” Gabe asked.
“You know I find
you attractive. That was never a problem,” Seiran snarled as he disappeared into the bathroom and Gabe heard the shower turn on.
“Spell out for me, what was the problem? Pretend I don’t remember.” Gabe heard cursing. Steam filled the shower and as Gabe followed him into the bathroom, he thought about how he’d like to be in the shower with Seiran, taking his time to relearn the man’s body as well as soothe his frustrations.
“If this memory loss thing is bullshit, we’re done,” Seiran said.
“I wish it were,” Gabe said. He leaned against the cold tile near the edge of the entrance to the shower. He had never thought someone could angrily shower until that moment. But Seiran’s jerky movements and fast shampoo job made him think the witch was not only angry but in a hurry. Was it crazy to look at him and salivate over how sexy he was? And at the same time fear that anger being directed at him?
“Stop staring at me,” Seiran growled.
Gabe turned around and folded his arms across his chest, giving Seiran his back. “Okay.”
Chapter 19
Seiran’s ass ached in reminder that he’d folded like a deck of cards. Fuck Gabe for being handsome. Not even handsome, but beautiful like only a work of art should be. He stood there, completely nude and seeming not to care. It made Seiran angry. Mostly at himself for caving to his desire. Well desire, and a few pretty words.
“Talk to me,” Gabe said. “Tell me what I did.”
“That’s a joke, coming from you,” Seiran said. He was tired of forever being the one to share, speak up, and not getting the same courtesy back.
“It seems like the best way for us to work together is to talk to each other.”
“Since when?” Seiran demanded. He rinsed the soap out of his hair, and hoped he’d gotten clean enough without a thorough scrubbing. If he was going to be around vampires today, questioning when and where they’d last seen their now deceased friends, he prayed he wouldn’t go into the room smelling like sex. It seemed, at the very least, cold in light of the mass death they’d just discovered.
“What do you mean by that?”
Seiran turned off the shower and grabbed a towel, drying off as he made his way to the walk-in closet. “You’re the king of not telling anyone anything. It’s your modus operandi. The whole reason no one knew you were fucking struggling until it was too late, was because you wouldn’t talk to anyone. Not me, not Mike. No one.” Seiran grabbed a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a Disney blue alien, upside-down, that said “I Tried.” He would need a bit of cheer today when facing a warehouse full of bodies and their grief-filled flocks.
Had his people gotten through questioning the family? He would have to read through their reports when he had a moment, and hoped he wouldn’t have to question them himself. His people were good, most of the time. Face to face with some of the Dominion’s political elite? That might be a lot to ask of them, but he tried to begin his day hopeful.
He yanked on his clothes and ran a comb through his hair, finding it just barely long enough to pull back into a ponytail. The front escaped a little, falling around his face, making his cheekbones look sharp and delicate, which he found annoying. But he wasn’t out to impress anyone today. Not while cataloging bodies and searching for magic evidence as he suspected the day would go.
He hadn’t realized Gabe was still there until he turned around and found him lingering in the doorway to the bathroom, expression clouded.
Seiran sighed. “Look, I get it. You’re back from the grave and your brain is sort of like mashed potatoes. Maybe I should drop you off at Max’s for a few days? You can find some smelly shapeshifters to feed on while I work?”
Gabe wrinkled his nose. “Not a fan of shapeshifters and we haven’t renewed the blood bond. I need to stay close to you. The revenant is more unsettled than it should be.”
Seiran folded his arms across his chest and wished for a thousand things that had never been within his grasp, including a supernatural sense of patience. “Because you were pulled early. A decade and a half in the ground wasn’t long enough. Funny how you chose to start something while standing on the edge of insanity. Makes me question your judgment.”
“You pursued me,” Gabe said. “I don’t remember everything, but I remember that.”
“And you kept me at arm’s length long enough to keep yourself from facing execution. I just wanted to get laid, not be bound forever to your obviously selfish whims.” Seiran left the bathroom and dug out a pair of shoes. He’d be on his feet all day and needed something comfortable. He wondered how many vampires would be lingering at the location Max had created for the bodies. He could do with dealing with less vampires today.
Gabe stood in silence, which drove Seiran’s rage to the brink thinking he was being shut out again. He turned around to add another heated comment, but found Gabe lost in confusion, blood trickling over his upper lip as his nose bled. Seiran paused.
“I’m sorry,” Gabe said as he pinched his nose. “Too many memories at once bring on the nosebleed. It’s a bit dizzying. Trying to put the pieces back where they belong. I’m not trying to be silent. Trying to make sense of things feels like a complicated math problem that I once knew I could solve, but can’t quite put the x and y in the right place.”
Losing blood after feeding last night seemed like a bad idea. Seiran grabbed a towel out of the drawer near the sink and handed it over. Gabe pressed it to his nose.
“Wouldn’t it be easier if you slept during the day?” Seiran asked quietly. “Give yourself some time to recharge?”
A wild look passed over Gabe’s face, not like the revenant was taking control, but full-on fear. He was afraid that if he went to sleep, he wouldn’t wake up? Or that the revenant would grab hold?
“Gabe?” What was he afraid of?
“I slept a little,” Gabe said quietly. “With you.”
“And it was bad?”
“Disjointed and filled with nightmares. Not really restful. And I don’t think it was because you were there. I think it’s because the revenant isn’t settled,” Gabe said fast, like he was trying hard not to add insult to injury.
“Would having my blood settle the revenant?”
Gabe thought on that for a minute. “I don’t think so.” He looked away and sucked in a breath deep enough that Seiran could almost feel the need to follow suit. “Something is tugging at it. As though whatever yanked me from the ground…”
Seiran couldn’t help his flinch at the idea that Gabe hadn’t been ready to come back. How long would he have been gone? A century? More? Would Seiran had kept his sanity? Would putting him back help either of them?
“Like the power is still out there. I can touch it, almost.” Gabe’s gaze found Seiran’s again. “I’m sorry it’s a bit vague. I’m trying to put words to feelings that don’t really have defined classifications.” He turned toward the door. “If you’ll give me a minute to clean up.”
“Will you be safe around people? In a room full of dead vampires? I need to look over all of them. My people probably have already, but…”
“You’re a superwitch,” Gabe teased, “you might catch something the average witch doesn’t.”
“Maybe,” Seiran agreed.
“Happens a lot?”
“Sadly, yes.”
“Perhaps you need to find better witches?”
“I think they need more training. Most come to me with very little knowledge of the darker bits of magic. Many don’t believe those things really happen, or that power even exists. Not until they confront it face to face. A lot of them don’t last longer than a year. The dark side of magic becomes too much for them.”
Gabe gave him an assessing look. “You deal with magic crime. I would think that meant mostly darker magic.”
“Yes. However, the Dominion exists in direct opposition to the Christian Church. It comes at a cost of bad witches die, and anything the Church condemns is bad. They only teach kids how to be good little witches. On paper at least.”
“Probably,” agreed Seiran. “Likely necromancer of some kind, raising the dead and all that. Don’t tell the church that, they will insist you get burned at the stake for it.”
“And if someone is born with power like necromancy?” At least Gabe seemed to catch on fast enough, even if his memory was Swiss cheese.
“Locked away, shunned, taught to hide it. If they survive the awakening of their power at all. That’s where most of the issues I deal with come from. Witches trying to find control in a world that fights to keep them invisible until they are slaughtered for PR purposes.” It was one of the biggest reasons he feared for Kaine. The twins earth magic was strong, and would put them at pillar level should he die in their lifetime, but Kaine’s power, a mix of fae and witch, would scare the world at large. Seiran created the house as a sanctuary for them to learn and grow in safety. Wards covering every inch of the property created by himself, and layers added by his friends. Everything from fire to water and wind. But he still feared for Kaine every day. Had he gone to school, or decided to cross the veil again?
“Go get dressed. I have to check in with my people.” And his kids.
Seiran waited for Gabe to leave the room before checking his phone. Kaine had gone with Kelly and Jamie to pick up Link. It sounded like they had a day planned out to welcome him home. Since Link and Kaine were close in age, they had gotten along well. At least before Link had gone off to camp. Would that have changed?
Something else to worry about.
Seiran had messages from Sam and Mike, asking how Gabe was doing. A short message from the office with a link to files as they were processing bodies. Page had sent him a short text:
P: Not feeling well today. Might be in late.
Seiran had never been an asshole about people having to be in the office as long as they were doing their job. And Page could do his job from home just fine. He sent a message back as he made his way downstairs to find something to eat before heading in.