“Sweetheart? We really need to get ye downstairs.” Maggie was closer, leaning forward to pry Thalia’s fingers off her hip. The rush as the dull pain in her hip pulsed had her lips tingling… or maybe she was about to faint. “Do ye really think James will care what ye say today? He won’t, he probably won’t even remember it. He’s been head over heels for ye since I first saw the two of ye together, and all today is about is letting everyone celebrate ye.”
“But what if—” I ruin everything. Thalia felt that age-old panic creeping in, the one that had brought her to Purgatory in the first place. The fear that she’d say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and out James to the world. Ruin his life, just because he loved her.
“What-ifs will kill you, Thalia. This is real life, and sometimes that just means jumping in with both feet even though you don’t know if anything is going to catch you.” Julie caught her hand again, squeezing. “But I have a feeling James will always catch you.”
“Totally,” Lauren said, smiling.
“You know he’d go to the ends of the earth for you, why would today change that?” Analiese asked, and Thalia smiled a little. Just minutes before she’d been absolutely certain that James would have called in helicopters and mercenaries and bodyguards to find her — and even though she had no idea what would happen in the grand hall during the ceremony, she at least knew James would be there. And she had the best, and kinkiest, friends any girl could ask for surrounding her.
Glancing back at Julie, Thalia let out a slow, shaky breath. “I just look at him, right?”
“Just look at him, and those sexy green eyes you like so much.” Squeezing her hand one more time, Julie tilted her head towards the hall. “He’s waiting for you, you ready to go see him?”
“Yeah.”
A collective sigh of relief echoed around her, and she almost laughed as they started to hurry her down the hall. Maggie kept pace to their right, rapidly texting, most likely to Kalen.
No code reds, no runaway brides, no missing brides, and Thalia was relieved that the only people waiting outside the doors to the grand hall were the groomsmen, and a pair of very excited toddlers who were laying on the floor in their formal wear.
“Really, yer going to let them get all filthy right before the ceremony?” Maggie huffed, walking over to help the twins stand, dusting them off with her hands.
“At least on the floor they were in one place, Jake’s been chasing them up and down the hall!” Kalen crouched down to fix the bow on Ava’s head, sighing.
“Ma?” Noah asked, reaching for Maggie, and she pressed a kiss to his hair.
“Remember, ye have to walk with yer sister. All the way to Mister James.” Maggie was trying to talk to them, but everyone knew neither kid was paying attention.
“I’m counting chasing the little ones as my cardio for today.” Jake winked and walked over to Julie, offering his arm. “And I’ve been informed that your husband will be watching my hands very carefully when we walk.”
“He did not actually say that to you!” Julie was gawking, no longer looking even a little self-conscious as Jake nodded with a serious expression. It sent her into a fit of giggles, and Thalia found herself smiling as the rest of the group paired up.
Tom approached Analiese, standing in awkward silence beside her, while Analiese bit down on her lip, avoiding eye contact like she had during the rehearsal. Lauren approached Adam, a long time family friend of James’ who lived in France. He was calm quiet to Lauren’s bawdy brashness, and she leaned against him when he offered his elbow, turning the man’s cheeks a little pink.
Sean, or Master Sean as she knew him better, walked up to Thalia first, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. “How’s the brand?” he whispered softly.
“Just fine, thank you, sir,” she whispered back just as quietly, smiling at the breach of protocol not to discuss the other side of their lives around the vanilla crowd.
“Well, you look positively lovely.” Releasing her hand, Sean glanced to the side where Chloe stood, a slight smirk waiting on her lips. “Is she as much trouble as I’ve been told?”
“More.” Thalia grinned, and Sean laughed quietly.
“I think she’ll earn a trip to SW3 before the end of the night. Brad came by the room earlier and we had a… chat.” His smile was all Dom-with-a-plan as he turned and walked over to her. Thalia watched as he kissed Chloe’s hand with all the gentlemanly grace he had used with her, but then he tugged the girl closer, leaning down to whisper in her ear. Chloe grinned for a moment, and then her eyes went wide.
Trouble. But Chloe had always enjoyed trouble.
The girls gathered their bouquets from the table beside the entrance, small bundles of white hydrangeas and garden roses, tucked in with lilac and dainty hints of green. Picking flowers had been one wedding task Thalia had enjoyed, and the flowers looked beautiful. Maggie brought over her bouquet when she didn’t move to get it. A flourish of white hydrangeas and roses with the rambunctious ivy that Julie had first thought was crazy, until the florist had turned it into a cascading bouquet that now rested against the front of her dress.
Pressing a kiss to her cheek, Maggie whispered in her ear, “I couldn’t be happier to be here for this. Whatever ye say will be perfect, even if ye just tell him ye love him.”
As she stepped back, Kalen took her place, smiling warmly, turning all of his rough features into that warrior’s beauty that had first stunned her at the entrance to Purgatory. It felt like a lifetime ago, and at the same time it felt like yesterday. Kalen gently caught her chin, lifting her eyes to his and holding her there. A wave of quiet submission rolled through her, pressing back the anxiety, and she took a slow, calming breath inside the peace. “Are ye sure ye don’t want me to walk with ye? It would be my honor.”
Thalia laid her hand on his wrist, speaking softly, “Thank you, but this is important to me. Walk with Maggie and Noah and Ava. I promise I won’t disappear.”
Kalen’s eyes creased at the edges, and he tweaked her chin as he let go. “Alright then, we’ll be waiting for ye.” He turned away to take his place beside Maggie, resting a hand on Noah’s head to keep the boy in place, and then he rapped his knuckles softly on the beautifully carved wood in front of him.
From inside, the string quartet quieted and the rest of the party lined up at the doors. The twins in front of their parents, each with a basket of flower petals. Maggie and Kalen, looking at each other warmly before he gave her a quick, and slightly inappropriate, kiss. Then there was Julie and Jake, both still giggling and chuckling, even though her belly almost reached the back of Maggie’s dress.
Analiese and Tom were next, and she at least wore a smile now, her arm through his, but as pale as Tom looked it was unlikely he’d be pressing Analiese for information down the aisle. Chloe and Master Sean came after, and as quiet as Chloe was Thalia had no doubt that Sean had shared some of Brad’s ideas with her.
Last were Lauren and Adam, and as usual, Lauren’s unabashed openness had cracked the man’s stoic disposition already. He was grinning, clearly trying not to laugh his way down the aisle, but Lauren was still whispering out the side of her mouth occasionally.
It was when the first notes of Bach’s ‘Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring’ began to play inside that the group tightened up. The doors opened and the sound of the guests inside shifting in their seats was nerve-wracking even though Thalia couldn’t see. For a moment neither twin would move, but Kalen leaned down and said something and they both took off squealing like banshees down the aisle. Laughter floated out of the hall, and Kalen and Maggie just grinned as they began the processional. Each of her friends smiled at her, whispering kind things just before they stepped inside, until it was only her waiting outside. She paced for a moment, trying to get her nerves under control, to stop her hands from shaking, and then she caught her reflection in a mirror.
For a second Thalia almost didn’t recognize herself.
Julie had been light with the makeup, simply era
sing the imperfections with her skills. The palest pink on her cheeks and lips, mascara but no bold liner, no intense eyeshadow. Even the gentle curls Analiese had put in her hair seemed natural. The ivory lace of the strapless dress seemed to make her skin glow and complemented the earrings Evelyn had given her. It had been Evelyn’s designer friend who had customized the dress, ensuring the bodice tucked close to her curves before it swelled at her hips, flowing into a short elegant train.
She looked bright, and summery. She looked alive.
Most of all, she looked happy.
Taking her position at the edge of the entryway, the man at the door caught her eye and tilted his head like he was asking her a question. With one more breath she smiled and nodded.
This time when the strings hushed, they picked up again quickly. Pachelbel’s ‘Canon in D’ building slowly as she stepped between the doors. Everyone stood, the room filled with sunlight from the windows along the back wall — and there was James. Smiling like prince charming in his tuxedo, grinning broader when Kalen reached up to squeeze his shoulder.
Thalia took the first step and knew she’d made the right choice to walk by herself.
She’d been alone, lonely, unaware of how sad she was when Marcus had taken what little she did have and set it aflame. Torn her out of the life she was barely living anyway and destroyed what was left. When she’d first seen James, from her knees, naked and afraid — she’d truly had nothing.
So, it mattered to walk the aisle alone.
To acknowledge that her father walking her down the aisle would have been a lie, because he had never been there for her like that. To admit that while there were many good men in her life who had offered, from Peter to Jake to Kalen, wouldn’t have been right either. Even James’ father Henry had mentioned it to James, but that was wrong too. Thalia had spent years being invisible. She’d spent the last two as a victim, and now she was becoming someone new.
She was someone who could walk the aisle alone, head up, eyes on the man she loved, and not have a single urge to hide, or bow her head. Even with the knowledge, and sensation, that she wore James’ pre-wedding gift hidden under all the bridal trappings.
And what a view she would have missed had she kept her eyes to the floor…
All of her friends lining the edges of the aisle that had clumps of flower petals on it, and one lost flower basket someone had pulled to the side. The girls at the front with their huge smiles, Julie practically bouncing in her shoes with her excitement. Evelyn’s teary stare from the front row, Henry’s wave, Katherine’s sly wink, Ailsa’s grin — and James’ steady eyes seeing only her, backlit by the bright sunshine outside and the rolling green of the lawn.
When she stepped up to him, Thalia couldn’t pull her eyes from his, her heart almost aching to think of just how lucky she had been to find him. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered.
“I’ve missed you too, baby. You ready?” James couldn’t stop smiling, and it made her warm through and through. Maggie had been right, it wouldn’t matter what she said standing up here, because they’d both be walking back down the aisle together.
“Absolutely.” Turning, Thalia handed off her bouquet to Maggie, and then she faced James to place her hands in his. Brushing his thumb over the back of her hand, they both looked at the officiant and he smiled at them. A kind looking older man, he opened the ceremony welcoming everyone, and the bustle of everyone taking their seats barely registered with James’ reassuring touch on her hands.
The blur of the man speaking wasn’t quite forming into real words in her head, but they’d reviewed the language so many times she knew it by part. Not a religious ceremony, but more of an acknowledgment of the decision they were making. To be together, partners in all things, to support each other, lift each other up, and when the man looked at them she felt ready.
“Please, face each other.” The man smiled at her as she turned to meet James’ eyes, listening to the gentle baritone, aided by the microphone at his collar that spread his voice across the grand room. “Will you, James, promise to lift Thalia up when she is low, care for her when she is in need, and love her even when times are hard?”
“I will,” James smiled.
“And Thalia, will you promise to lift James up when he is low, care for him when he is in need, and love him even when times are hard?”
“I will.” She nodded, fighting the emotion rising in her chest.
“In a marriage you are vowing to do all of these things and more. You vow to stand beside each other, to weather the storms of life together, to keep each other close, and, ultimately to always be there for each other.” He gestured towards the two of them, his hands almost touching their shoulders. “In addition to these, it is my understanding that each of you would like to exchange your own vows. James, please make your vows to Thalia.” The officiant clasped his hands, and Thalia smiled a little wider to see James’ throat work as he swallowed, eyes dropping from hers for a moment as he took a breath.
When he lifted them again he smiled at her, beaming and perfect. “Thalia, I honestly never thought I would be here, holding the hands of the woman I love more than anything. I thought it was simply not meant to be for me, but… then I found you.” He pressed their hands a little harder, and if it were possible she loved him even more in that moment for the nervous way his mouth twitched in a bittersweet smile. “I have to believe that it was fate, destiny, that I was lucky enough to find you, because you are so strong, and fierce, and feisty.”
Laughter thrummed through the room, and he swallowed again, his eyes moving over her face before settling once more.
“I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love another person. And I will not just stand beside you as your husband, your partner, I will move heaven and earth for you, because you are heaven on earth to me, Thalia. There are not enough words to describe the million brilliant ways you make me whole, and I promise to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you have already made me.”
A chorus of sounds went through the guests, and Thalia bit her lip trying to keep herself from crying, and judging by the sniffling in the audience she wasn’t the only one. “I love you, James,” she whispered, and he mouthed the words back as the officiant began again.
“Thalia, please make your vows to James.”
Her stomach was filled with butterflies, her heart so full that it ached, and surrounded by the golden light of the afternoon she felt like it was actually flowing through her. Keeping her eyes on his, she did what Maggie suggested and just started talking, “James, I think I wrote ten versions of my vows, maybe fifteen.”
A soft round of laughter echoed around her, and James let out a quiet chuckle as he brushed his thumbs over the backs of her hands in small, soothing circles.
“But they were never good enough. Nothing was good enough to describe how you make me feel every single day… precious, important, loved.” Shaking her head, Thalia stumbled over her words. “Before you my world was dull and lifeless. I didn’t know it, but I was lonely, I had just accepted it for so long that it felt like it was right — and then? Then there was you. Vibrant, and brave, and endlessly patient with me. You loved me before I even knew how to describe love. You showed it to me in every action, in every breath, and before I knew it I loved you too.”
Biting down on her lip, James grinned and reached up, tugging her lip free with his thumb like he had a thousand times before. Brushing her cheek with his fingers, he returned his hand to hers, and nodded at her.
“I feel like we’ve already weathered enough storms together, we already know we will stand beside each other. You care for me and lift me up without even thinking about it, because it is who you are, James. You do more than simply keep me close, you chose to bring me into your life, to share your friends with me, your family — and because of that my world filled with color. Because of you I know I will never feel lonely again, and my life will never be dull.” More soft laughter from the c
rowd that made her smile up at the man who was everything to her. “What could I vow that would be enough for that? I don’t think there’s enough in the entire universe, and in the end I can only offer myself. I can promise that I will always be honest with you, that I will keep no secrets, because you already know all of my darkness, and you have given me so much light. I love you James, and since I have this official occasion to do it, I would like to say that I am the lucky one.”
The guests laughed, and James lifted an eyebrow at her, unable to look serious or stern with the wide grin on his face, but he did turn to the audience, raising a hand as he spoke loudly, “We all know I’m the lucky one, so hush up now.”
Thalia laughed and he turned back to her, shaking his head through his own chuckles as the guests’ grew louder for a moment.
“You are in trouble for that one, pet,” he whispered so quietly she almost couldn’t hear him, but the words only brought a frisson of excitement through her.
“It was worth it,” she whispered back.
They stood straight again as the officiant smiled at them, his own laughter making the creases at the corners of his eyes deeper. “Laughter is a gift that every marriage should have, it makes it easier to get through hard times together, but a strong community makes this even easier. Would all who came here today in support of James and Thalia please stand.”
The sound of one hundred and twenty eight people standing was louder than she expected, but Thalia barely even noticed. She was surrounded by light, and love, so filled with it she could have been levitating.
“James and Thalia invited all of you here today to witness these declarations of their love. They have demonstrated their commitment to each other, and there will come a time when they will need more than just themselves to succeed. Do you, their family and friends, promise to be there to love and support them when they need it? To stand as the community around them to help them be strong? If so, say we do.”
It seemed they were both remembering Purgatory, and the family of support they had already built as they heard the guests loudly proclaim, “WE DO!” The brush of Maggie’s hand against her back was just further confirmation, that even without the pledge, she and James already had a strong community at their backs.
Tying the Knot (Thalia Book 4) (The Thalia Series) Page 5