“Alexandria, we need to talk,” my father said, his deep voice making me feel like a child.
My father was normally a calm man, but I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was upset. His green eyes were churning with an emotion I couldn’t read.
I looked nothing like my father. He was tall, an inch or two over six feet, where I was barely over five feet. He had a muscular build that made him appear larger than he was. I could thank my mother for my tiny frame.
I stumbled backward until the back of my knees hit the bed. I dropped down onto it as my parents walked into my room and stood in front of me.
“Look, I know this seems messed-up, but—”
My mom held up her hand. “It doesn’t seem messed-up. It is messed-up. I never thought I’d see the day when I watched my daughter dealing drugs. What were you thinking, Alexandria?”
“I know it’s wrong, okay? I get it,” I said.
“I don’t think you do. You could go to jail if you’re caught. Doesn’t that scare you?”
“We’re both very disappointed in you, Alexandria,” my father added.
“We’ve been talking about what punishment is suitable for this. Obviously, you are never allowed to talk to Joel again,” my mom said.
“You can’t keep me away from him forever!” I said stubbornly.
My parents exchanged a look that made my stomach drop. They had a plan already, and I knew I wasn’t going to like it.
“We can, and we will. You’re our daughter, and it’s our responsibility to protect you,” my mom said.
“I don’t need protection from Joel! We love each other! You should be happy that I’ve found someone I care about!”
“You’re seventeen! You have no idea what love is,” my mother stated coldly.
“We know that if we ground you, you’ll just sneak out to see Joel despite your mother’s threats to call the police. It’s impossible to keep you away from him when you two are this close to each other.”
“You’re right. I won’t stay away from him.”
“Which is why we’ve decided that you can’t stay here,” my dad finished.
I opened my mouth to argue, but then I slammed it shut as his words registered with me.
“We don’t want to do this, but you’ve left us with no choice,” my mother said sadly.
“Do what?” I whispered, terrified to hear the answer.
“Since we can’t keep you and Joel apart here, we’re sending you to your grandparents’ farm. You will remain there until the week before school starts.”
I jumped off my bed. “There is no way I’m staying with them!”
My grandparents lived over three hours away in a small town in West Virginia. Truthfully, small wasn’t the right word to describe where they lived. I wasn’t sure if their town was even on a map. My parents used to force me to go with them to visit my grandparents every summer until I’d turned twelve. After that, I’d refused to go. I wanted nothing to do with that place. It had taken a few preteen temper tantrums to get them to let me stay home, but I’d finally managed to convince them.
While I liked my grandmother, my grandpa was a complete jackass. All he cared about was working on the farm they owned. I still cringed when I thought about how he used to make me help him in the hayfield. I’d spent hours stacking square bales, so he could load them on the trucks and store them in the barn.
“You will go whether you want to or not. This isn’t up for debate.” My mother’s voice had an edge to it that made me want to crawl under my bed and hide.
“Please don’t make me go. I swear, I’ll listen to you guys!”
“You’re going, Alexandria. Pack your bags tonight because we leave in the morning,” my father said.
Tears stung my eyes as I stared at both of them. How could they do this to me? Going to Grandpa’s farm was the worst punishment they could give me. That place was my own personal hell.
“Please leave. I need to pack.” My voice was calm, but my insides were churning from the anger I felt. I will never forgive them for this. Never.
“Alexandria, please understand that we’re not doing this to hurt you or make you miserable. We only want to protect you, and this is the only option we have left.” My father’s voice was full of concern, but I didn’t care.
He can take his concern and shove it right up his ass.
“I need to pack.”
“We’ll leave you alone, but if you sneak out, I’ll call the police on Joel. I’m sure he’s hidden everything by now, but they’ll catch him eventually,” my mother said.
I turned away, unable to look at them any longer. I wanted nothing to do with either one of them. The room was silent for a minute before I heard my mother sigh. I didn’t blink as she walked over to me and held out her hand. “Cellphone. Now.”
I pulled it out of my pocket and dropped it into her hand without a word. She turned and walked back to my dad. They left silently, leaving the door open behind them.
I stayed where I was for a few more minutes before finally walking to the door. I slammed it shut as hard as I could, knowing the sound would travel downstairs to them. I wanted them to know how much I hated them both right now. I grabbed two bags out of my closet and filled them with clothes and other things I would need while I was away. I packed everything I could, knowing I wouldn’t be back for a long time.
But there was something my parents didn’t realize. I wasn’t packing to go to my grandparents’ farm. I was running away.
The house was silent as I slid my window open and then tossed my bags outside. While I was worried that my parents had heard my bags hitting the ground, it didn’t stop me from slipping through the window and climbing down my tree anyway. Once I was safely on the ground, I grabbed my bags and started walking toward the sidewalk. When I reached the end of the yard, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Alexandria,” a voice came from the darkness.
Unfortunately for me, my relief was short-lived.
I cried out as I spun around to see my dad stepping out of the shadows surrounding our garage.
Damn it. “Dad…”
“Don’t even try to explain your way out of this one.” He walked over to stand in front of me. “Give me your bags.”
If my mom had caught me, I would have run. But I couldn’t disobey my dad. My dad understood me a lot better than my mom ever could.
“Dad, please let me go.”
“You know I can’t. I understand that you love this boy—or at least, you think you do—but if you go to him, all you’ll do is seal his fate. Your mother will turn him in not only for selling but also for having sex with a minor.”
I sucked in a breath. “She wouldn’t.”
“We both know that she would. Listen to me, you’ve got to do this. I know it’s hard, but going to your grandparents’ farm is the best thing that could happen to you right now.”
“I seriously doubt that. I hate it there.”
“I know you do, but you need to get away for a while. Look, I’ll make you a deal. If you go without a fight and come back with a little more respect, I’ll talk to your mom for you. If you really love this boy, spending a summer apart won’t change that. If he loves you, he’ll wait. You’ve become a different person, Lexi, and it scares me. If you keep doing the things you’re doing, you will end up in jail. Something has to change.”
Tears filled my eyes. I hated disappointing my dad. My mom and I had never been close, even before Joel, but my dad was always there for me when he was home. The sad part was that he worked a lot, so he couldn’t be around as much as I wanted.
“Will you at least let me say good-bye to him in person?” I whispered. “You can drive me there, so you know that I won’t run.”
He hesitated for a second before nodding. “Get in the car.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. I ran to the car and jumped in before he could change his mind. I waited impatiently as he climbed in the car and started it. He didn’t
turn on the headlights as we backed out of the driveway. Instead, he waited until we were a few houses down from ours. I knew he didn’t want my mom to know what we were up to.
The ride to Joel’s house was quiet, but it was an easy silence, unlike the earlier car ride with my mom. Dad pulled up in front of Joel’s house and shut off the car.
“Five minutes, Lexi. That’s it.”
I nodded as I got out. “I promise, I’ll hurry.”
Walking up to Joel’s house felt like I was coming home. This place was my escape and my safe haven. I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive without it or Joel this summer. Joel had given me the key to his house long ago, so I didn’t bother to knock even though it was late. Instead, I unlocked the door and slipped inside.
The house was completely silent as I walked through it to Joel’s bedroom. His door was open, so I moved quietly inside. A lamp was shining brightly on the nightstand beside the bed. I could see Joel’s sleeping form underneath the covers. I hated to wake him up, but I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye.
I walked to the bed and sat down on the edge, my body inches away from his. When I shook him softly and said his name, he sat straight up in bed, looking around the room as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. His mouth dropped open when he saw me sitting there next to him.
“Lexi? What are you doing here?”
“I had to see you one last time.” My voice quivered.
He rubbed his eyes. “How did you get here? If your mom finds out that you snuck out, we’re both screwed.”
“My dad brought me.”
His eyes widened. “Huh?”
I could feel tears forming in my eyes, but I smiled at him. “They’re sending me away for the summer, Joel. My dad isn’t an asshole like my mom, so he let me come to say good-bye.”
“You’re leaving? Why?”
“They know I’ll run off with you, so they’re keeping me away from you. I’ll be back right before school starts.”
“This fucking sucks. Where are they sending you?”
“My grandparents have a farm in West Virginia. They’re going to take me there.”
“I’m so sorry, Lexi. This is all my fault. I never should have asked you to help me with the deals.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine for being so stupid. You’d taught me to always watch my surroundings when I’m dealing, and I didn’t.” I sighed. “This just sucks. I’m going to be in hell for three months.”
“Maybe I can come visit?” he joked.
I perked up. “Maybe! Maybe if I’m good, my grandparents will let me leave the farm or something. There’s a town a few miles away from where they live. We could meet there! It’s about three hours from here though.”
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t care if it were ten. I’m going to go crazy without you around.”
“I know. Me, too. We’ll be okay though, won’t we?”
“Of course. Why would you even ask that?” He sounded hurt.
“Because I won’t be around, and I know girls try stuff with you all the time.”
I knew I sounded needy and weak, but I couldn’t help it. My greatest fear was leaving him alone all summer and then coming home to see that he moved on with someone else.
He cupped my face and pulled me closer. “Read my lips, woman. I’m a lot of things, but a cheater isn’t one of them. I love you, Lexi. No amount of time apart will change that. I know we’re young, but it doesn’t matter to me. You’re mine, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as you want me. I keep waiting for the day when you’ll wake up and realize that you’re so much better than me.”
I shoved him down on the bed and climbed on top of him. “Shut up. I’m not better than you. You’re fucking perfect, Joel. Perfect.”
My lips met his, and I forgot everything. I forgot that I had less than five minutes left with him. I forgot that I would be leaving for my own personal hell in only a few short hours. I forgot to breathe. The one thing that brought me back to the real world was the sound of my dad blowing the car horn outside.
I pulled away, gasping for breath. “I have to go.”
He pulled my face back to his and kissed me softly. “I’ll be here, waiting for you. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I didn’t even try to hold back my tears as I stood and walked away from him.
I barely remembered the walk back to the car and then the ride back to the house. The next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed again.
This hurts so damn bad. I had no idea how I was going to survive the next few months.
We left early the next morning. My dad was driving me down even though I was staying with my mom’s parents. I thought Dad had volunteered to do it, so my mom and I wouldn’t be forced to spend three hours in a car together.
I’d refused to speak to her this morning before we left. She’d tried to hug me, but I’d shoved her away and then made my way out the door. I just knew she had been the one who came up with this idea.
Well, fuck her. She won’t win. I won’t let her destroy me.
My dad tried to talk to me as he drove, but I wasn’t up for conversation. After a while, he got tired of my one-word answers, and he gave up. He turned on the radio and found a country music station. I pretended to vomit, causing him to grin. He knew I hated country music. I’d rather rip out my eardrums than listen to it.
I reached into my purse and pulled out my iPod. After putting my earbuds in and turning my music up enough to drown out the car radio, I stuck my tongue out at him. I could see him chuckling at me. I loved when I could make my dad laugh. It seemed like I didn’t do it enough anymore.
I pulled my earbuds out and reached over to turn off the radio. “Truce?” I asked.
He nodded. “Only if you actually talk. If you don’t, I’ll take your headphones away and turn the radio back on.”
“Ugh, fine. What do you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know. What do normal teenage girls talk to their dads about?”
“Are you saying I’m not a normal teenager?” I asked, pretending to be hurt.
“We both know you’re far from normal.”
I laughed. He had a point.
“Okay, I guess that’s true.”
“So…” He struggled to think of something to say. “Tell me about school. I know the school year is over, but tell me about last year.”
I shrugged. “There’s not much to tell. I go to school, sleep in class, eat lunch, and come home.”
“Lexi, come on, tell me about it. It’s been a while since we talked. What was your favorite class?”
“Um…art. I took two different art classes, so I could spend more time in the art room. One class focused on photography, and the other focused on drawing and actual art. Mrs. Jones really liked my photography. She even submitted some of my photos for the yearbook class to use.”
“That’s great! You should get a camera and start taking classes outside of school.”
“That might be fun. I don’t know.”
“When you come home, I’ll have a camera waiting on you”—he glanced over at me—“as long as your mother and I don’t get any complaints about your behavior or attitude over the summer.”
“Did you just bribe me to be good?” I teased.
“Yep. Nothing is below me when it comes to parenting.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at my dad. He was so easygoing. If it were my mom in the car with me, we both would have lost our voices from screaming by now. She’d be ranting and raving about how ashamed and disappointed she was in me. All she did was complain about how hard I was making her life.
My dad and I spent the rest of the drive talking. We didn’t mention Joel or the reason we were in the car though. Instead, we talked about everything else that we could think of. Despite the fact that the miles between Joel and me were growing, I wasn’t freaking out at the moment. Dad always had that effect on me. Even when I was in the worst mood imaginable, he would make me happy. I�
��d missed us talking like this.
We stopped in New Martinsville, the town I’d mentioned to Joel, to fill up on gas and grab something to eat. The town wasn’t huge, but it did have a movie theater and shopping plazas. It was tiny compared to what I was used to, but I was pretty sure that it was the biggest town around here.
When we hit Route 7, my stomach dropped. We were almost to my grandparents’ farm. My dad noticed my silence as we drove closer and closer to the farm. I was going to hate this place. I was a city girl, not some chick who liked living on a farm and seeing cows daily.
It had been a while since I was here, but the landmarks were vaguely familiar. I’d forgotten just how winding West Virginia roads were. I felt sick by the time we passed the one store on this entire road, Morris Variety Center. My stomach dropped when I realized the side road leading to my grandparents’ farm was only a minute or two away from there.
I clenched my teeth to keep from cursing when we turned up the gravel road. God, I hate this place. I continued to stare out the window as we made our way slowly up the bumpy road.
The road was narrow and completely surrounded by trees on both sides. About a mile in, the trees cleared and opened up into one huge meadow. I knew my grandparents had cleared this land years ago to make room for their cattle and horses. My grandpa owned over three hundred acres of land, and he used all of it.
I finally caught sight of the house and the two barns as we continued up the road. The main barn was located about a mile away from the house while a smaller one sat only a few feet away. If I remembered correctly, my grandpa used the large barn to store hay for the winter. It also had a lower level that he kept open for when one of the animals got sick. The smaller barn contained grains and other things for the smaller animals—like chickens, ducks, goats, and pigs—that he kept around the house so that he could keep an eye on them. Coyotes and raccoons were bad around here.
I’m entering the world’s largest petting zoo.
We rolled to a stop outside their house. I stared at it through the windshield, unable to make myself get out of the car.
Breaking Alexandria Page 4