I almost pulled away when I realized how much I was enjoying being wrapped in his arms, but I didn’t. It felt too good. I decided to enjoy it for right now. I could worry about my guilt later. I knew Landon well enough to know that he wouldn’t try anything with me.
For the rest of the movie, I cowered in his arms. When something scared me, I hid my face in his side, like a two-year-old. I couldn’t help it. He made me feel safe and protected.
When the movie was over, I moved away from Landon and stretched my arms above my head. “That was fun.”
He laughed. “I definitely liked it, but I never expected you to be scared of zombies. I always pictured you as the type to fight them.”
“I usually don’t get freaked-out, but that was a pure gore fest.” I shuddered.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”
We stood and walked out of the theater. We threw our drinks away once we reached the lobby. It was dark when we walked outside, and I kept glancing over my shoulder, expecting a zombie to jump out and attack me.
“You’re a dork,” Landon said as he walked up beside me and threw his arm over my shoulders.
“I am not. I’m just making sure no one is sneaking up on us,” I lied.
“Sure you are.”
“I am! I swear.”
“The only things you’re looking for are zombies. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”
“You’d probably trip me and make a run for it,” I grumbled.
“Nah, I like you too much for that.”
I didn’t reply to that. I wasn’t sure if we were still joking or if he was trying to be sweet.
We reached his truck, and he released me, so he could unlock the doors. I hurried up into the cab before he decided to help me again. I heard him chuckle as he closed my door, and then he walked around to his side.
I stared out the window as he pulled out of the lot and headed back toward home. The night had passed by too fast. It had been fun to escape for a while.
“What are you thinking about?” Landon asked.
“I just hate to go home. Tonight was fun, but it’s back to prison now.”
He was quiet for a minute. “I don’t have to take you home just yet, if you don’t want to go.”
I turned to look at him. “Where else is there to go? It’s late, and everything is closed.”
“We’re in the country, City. We make our own fun.”
“Okay…”
“I do need to stop by my house real fast though.”
“Fine by me as long as I don’t have to go home.”
“It’ll just take a second. I need to pick up something.”
“Where are we going after we stop at your place?”
“Nowhere.”
I raised an eyebrow but said nothing. If he wanted to get all mysterious on me, then more power to him. I didn’t care what we did as long as it didn’t require me to go home.
I closed my eyes and leaned back into the seat. I’d been up since sunrise, and I was exhausted at this point, but no matter how tired I was, I didn’t want to go home. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I woke up to see Landon getting back into the truck.
“Where are we?” I asked, still half-asleep.
“My house. You can nap for a few before we get to where I’m taking us.”
“Okay,” I mumbled as my eyes slid shut again.
I went in and out of consciousness as I felt the truck going back down the gravel road, and then it bumped along the uneven pavement of the main road. After a few minutes, I felt the truck turn onto a side road. I opened my eyes to look around as we bounced across the potholes. I was surprised when we stopped in the middle of a field.
“We’re here,” Landon said as he opened his door.
“Where is here exactly?” I asked.
“It’s a spot where I come to think sometimes. Come on.”
I opened my door and went to the back of the truck where he was lowering the tailgate. He jumped into the bed and grabbed a wadded-up blanket. After spreading it out, he helped me climb up to join him.
He kicked off his boots and sat down. “Sit down with me.”
“Sure,” I said as I settled down next to him.
“I brought us a present.” He reached through the cab window into the backseat and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.
“Sweet!” I said as I grabbed it from him. I took a drink, and I winced as it burned its way down my throat. “Shit. I forgot how strong it is.”
He laughed as he watched me take another sip. “Easy there, City. I don’t want you throwing up in my truck.”
“I can hold my liquor. Thanks.”
“I’m sure you can.” He took the bottle from me, had a drink, and then passed it back to me.
“What are we doing here?” I took another drink.
“I just like to come out here to get away sometimes. It’s peaceful, and it has a killer view.”
“Yeah, I’m loving the view. Nothing like staring at a field.”
He laughed. “Look up, City.”
I glanced up and saw what he was talking about. There wasn’t any light for miles. The sky above us was filled with stars, and the moon was the biggest I’d ever seen. “Wow. It’s beautiful.”
“Not what you’re used to?”
“Nope. There are too many lights where I live, so we can’t see the sky this well.” I took another drink before lying down on the blanket to get a better look.
“We could have stayed on the farm and had the same view, but I figured you wanted to get away altogether.” He lay down beside me.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, City.”
We were both silent as we passed the bottle back and forth and stared at the stars above us. It was nice to just…be. I didn’t have to pretend not to care about anything or act like a hard-ass out here. I was just being me. I was surprised that I felt safe enough to be myself around Landon. I wasn’t sure what it was about him, but he made me feel. Or maybe it was just the whiskey running through me. Either way, I felt content and even happy.
“Tell me about yourself, Cowboy.”
“Not much to tell. I grew up in Hundred, which is about twenty minutes from here. We lived in the same house from the time I was born until Caleb hired my dad and me. Once Caleb built our house on his farm, my dad and I moved in and sold the old one.”
“How come my grandpa hired you guys?” I asked.
“He’s known my dad since he was a kid. When we needed extra money, my dad used to help Caleb occasionally. Dad took time off from the construction company when Mom got sick. When he finally went back, they laid a bunch of guys off, and he was one of them. Caleb heard about it and offered us both jobs.”
“That was nice of him.” I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice.
My grandpa never did anything nice for anyone, except for Gram.
He laughed. “You sound surprised.”
“I just can’t see my grandpa being nice to anyone.”
“He’s not that bad once you get to know him.” He hesitated for a second. “When my dad was a teenager, he used to help him all the time.”
“And…” I could tell from his tone that there was more to the story.
“My dad dated your mom through most of high school.”
“Oh! I didn’t see that one coming. I guess that explains why my dad didn’t like him much at dinner.”
“Yeah, I think the feeling is mutual. Your mom ran off to college and met your dad. She broke up with my dad over the phone.”
I winced. “Ouch. That’s cold, even for her.”
Landon shrugged, causing his shoulder to bump mine. “It was a long time ago. My dad met my mom not long after, so it all worked out for the best.”
I took the whiskey from him and took a drink. “I guess so.”
I closed my eyes and relaxed. The whiskey was making my brain foggy. I also blamed it for the way my body kept creeping closer and closer
to Landon’s.
His fingers wrapped around mine as he grabbed the bottle. I opened my eyes to watch him as he took another drink.
“I think I drank too much already,” he said.
I shrugged. “Oh well, we can hang out here until you sober up.” My tongue felt thick when I spoke. Apparently, I’d drunk too much as well.
“Works for me.”
“Tell me more about yourself.”
“Um…I played football in high school, but our team sucked. I’ve had only one girlfriend, and my middle name is James.”
“Mine is Lynn. And you’ve had only one girlfriend? I find that hard to believe.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re…you.”
“Want to elaborate on that?”
I glanced over at him and grinned. “You’re sweet. There are very few guys out there as sweet as you. And you’re kind of attractive. You have the whole cowboy vibe going on, and you make it hot.”
“So, I’m a hot cowboy?” He laughed. “Never heard that one before.”
“I’m sure you have. Maybe not the cowboy part, but you have to know you’re attractive. You’re not my type, and even I noticed it.”
“I’ve never really paid much attention to girls. No one has ever really caught my eye before.”
“You sure you’re not gay?” I joked. The whiskey was making me talk more than I normally did.
“No, definitely not gay.” He grinned at me. “You’re kind of hot, too, even if you’re not my normal type either.”
I reached across him and grabbed the bottle before taking a big gulp. Funny, it didn’t even burn anymore. “Thanks, I think.”
“It was definitely a compliment. I noticed how pretty you were the moment I saw you.”
I took another drink so that I wouldn’t have to reply. I had no idea what to say to that. Landon was a good guy, and I didn’t want to hurt him. He deserved better than that.
“Landon…”
“Don’t say anything, Lexi.”
I sighed. “I don’t want to lead you on, Landon. You’re a good guy, and I am…me. I’m not a nice person, and you deserve someone a hell of a lot better than me.”
“You are a good person. You try to hide it, but you are. And I think I can decide who I deserve.”
“I’m with Joel. You know that.”
“I do, but I also know that he hasn’t even attempted to contact you. I saw you checking your phone every two seconds while we were working out in the field. I don’t mean to be an ass, but maybe you’re not as important to him as you thought you were.”
“You think I haven’t thought about that a million times since I got here?” I whispered as tears filled my eyes almost instantly.
“Shit, City. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“I know.”
“Come here.”
He pulled me into his arms, and I didn’t even struggle.
“You’re something special, City, and if he doesn’t realize that, too bad for him.”
“See? You just proved that I’m right. You’re such a sweet guy.”
“My thoughts are anything but sweet when I’m holding you like this. That day on the four-wheeler, I could barely stand to hold you like that and not kiss you.”
“Don’t say stuff like that. Please,” I whispered as I rested my head against his chest.
“I can’t help it. You make me want things that I know I can’t have.” He put his fingers under my chin and forced me to look up at him. “I want to kiss you more than anything right now.”
“You can’t, Landon.”
“Yes, I can.”
Before I could stop him, his lips were on mine. Shocked, I let him kiss me. Where Joel had always been rough, Landon’s kiss was soft and sweet. I found myself kissing him back even though my mind was screaming for me to stop. He ran his tongue across my bottom lip, and I gasped in shock. He took advantage of my parted lips and slipped his tongue inside. I moaned, unable to stop myself.
This feels so good…too good. I’m cheating on Joel right now. It shouldn’t feel this good. It should feel wrong.
He rolled us over until he was on top of me. I moaned again as I felt his hard body pressed up against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
“You taste like candy and whiskey,” he whispered before kissing a path from my lips to my neck.
I grabbed his face and pulled his lips back to mine. God, my body was on fire. I moaned again when I felt his knee pushing my legs apart. He ran his hand down my stomach to my leg and rested it there. I could feel him through his pants as he rested his lower body against mine.
He pulled away, gasping for breath. “Damn it, City. You’re going to make me lose my mind.”
Reality crashed over me instantly. “Oh my God, I kissed you!”
“No, I kissed you. You just kissed me back.”
“Get off of me, please. This isn’t right.”
I’d kissed another man. I’d cheated. Shame washed over me like a bucket of cold water. How could I let this happen?
Landon leaned down and pressed another kiss to my lips before rolling off. “Don’t look at me like I’m some horrible person, City.”
“You’re not the horrible one. I am.”
“No, you’re not. I know you feel something for me even if you try to ignore it.”
“Landon, I have a boyfriend. I don’t care if I feel something for you or not. It doesn’t matter. I’m a lot of things, but a cheater isn’t one of them.” I winced when I remembered that Joel had said the exact same thing to me the night I told him I was leaving.
Landon leaned over me, his face inches from mine. “I’m telling you right now that I’m not going to give up on you. I want you to be mine, City, and before the summer is over, you will be. I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you.”
My heart started racing as I let his words sink in. What he wanted was impossible, and I was going to break him.
“I’m sorry, Landon,” I whispered.
“Don’t tell me that. I’m not letting you go.”
There was a determination in his eyes that scared me and excited me all at once. Some small sick part of me didn’t want him to give up. It wanted him to chase me until I gave in.
He drove me home without either of us saying a single word. I looked back at him when I closed the truck door. The same determination I’d seen earlier was still in his eyes. I shook my head as I walked up the steps and unlocked the door.
The house was silent as I headed up to my room. I dropped down onto my bed without bothering to change into my pajamas. The whiskey was still clouding my mind, but Landon’s kisses had sobered me up a lot. Tonight had started out so well, only to end in disaster. I’d done something horrible, and no matter how hard I wished I could take it back, I couldn’t. I’d kissed someone other than Joel.
Before I realized what I was doing, my feet were on the floor, and I was sneaking down the stairs to where my grandparents’ landline phone was. I needed to hear Joel’s voice. I needed to know he still cared. I was careful not to make a sound as I crept into the kitchen where the phone was. I left the lights off and felt my way around the table until I reached the phone on the opposite wall. I picked it up and dialed quickly, hoping that he would answer.
I nearly cried when his voice mail picked up. “Damn it, Joel. I need to talk to you. Why haven’t you returned my texts? Where are you? Don’t call me back at this number. It’s my grandparents’ number. I…I love you. I need to know we’re okay.”
I hung up and leaned against the counter. Damn him for not answering when I need him the most. I balled my hands into fists, trying to control the rage coursing through my veins. I’d given up everything for him. I would have gone to jail for him, and he couldn’t even be bothered to talk to me.
And here I was, drowning in guilt. I sighed as my shoulders sagged in defeat. I needed to see him. There had to be a way.
I groaned and rolled over as someone
knocked on my bedroom door. It seemed like I’d just fallen asleep only moments ago.
“Alexandria, it’s time to get up. You need to get ready for church.”
“Fuck,” I moaned as I rolled over to look at the door. “Go ahead without me, Gram.”
There was silence for a moment before my door swung open.
“Come on, dear, you need to get up.”
“I’m not going,” I said calmly. I didn’t want to fight with Gram, but there was no way I was going to church. I wasn’t about to walk into that building and pretend to worship a god I didn’t believe in.
“Why not?” she asked, confused.
I sighed. “Gram, I don’t believe in God.”
Her eyes widened. “Don’t you dare say that, Alexandria. God loves you, and you should love him back.”
This was not the way I’d wanted to wake up—at all. “I’m sorry. I really am, but I’m not going to change my mind.” I rolled back over, hoping that she would leave it at that. I loved Gram more than anything, and I hated to disappoint her. I wasn’t sure what I would do if she started yelling at me.
I felt my bed dip as she sat down on the corner. “I know you’ve gone through some tough stuff lately, but you should never turn your back on God. I won’t force you to go, but I want you to think long and hard on your decision. You’ve done wonderfully this past week. I know you’ll find yourself again and put all the bad things behind you. God can help you do that.”
I stayed silent, unwilling to acknowledge her words. I heard her sigh as she stood and left my room. As soon as she was gone, I closed my eyes and fell back into the peaceful oblivion of sleep.
I awoke sometime later and rolled out of bed. My head was hurting, but it wasn’t bad enough to keep me from the shower that I desperately needed. I hurried to the bathroom, before my bladder exploded. After taking care of that problem, I grabbed a towel and hopped into the shower.
Images from the previous night flashed through my mind as I rinsed my hair. What I’d done was wrong on so many levels. And the worst part was that I’d enjoyed kissing Landon. I’d enjoyed it so much that I hadn’t even tried to stop him. Instead, I’d pulled him closer.
Breaking Alexandria Page 11