Foreign Affairs

by Patricia Scanlan

  ‘Hi Cora,’ she heard someone call out and Brenda turned to see Cora Delahunty swarming down the aisle. She gave a mental snort at the sight of her. Cora Delahunty was still the consequence she’d been in primary school. She was going to a private secondary school and didn’t have to wear a school uniform. She still wore her skirts as short as ever, Brenda noted sourly. And she was made up to the nines. She wore a gorgeous suede fringed jacket over a matching suede mini, and suede boots. She’d a load of hippie beads around her neck and big jangly earrings and she looked really hip. Brenda admired them enviously. She was deeply impressed when Cora took out a cigarette and lit up, inhaling slowly before exhaling the smoke in a long thin stream. She looked the height of sophistication, and seeing her, Brenda felt a right frump in her green sack tied at the middle with a sash. Not to mention her white blouse and yukky red tie. Cora had her nerve, Brenda thought grudgingly. Smoking like that in public. She and Kathy wouldn’t dare. Half the neighbours were on the bus and if her da ever heard she was smoking there’d be war. Cora was doing a strong line too, with a barman. The rest of them were dead jealous. Cora acted as if she was grown-up even though she was the same age as the rest of them. There were strong rumours going around too, that she had gone all the way with her boyfriend. Brenda saw them kissing once. Really passionate like in the pictures and the barman had his hands on Cora’s breasts. She and Kathy were gobsmacked . . . and not a little shocked. Well to be honest, very shocked.

  ‘I’d never let a fella touch me there. Not unless I was married,’ Kathy whispered as they hurried on past the lane where the steamy encounter was taking place.

  ‘Me neither,’ Brenda agreed whole-heartedly.

  ‘I bet he doesn’t respect her,’ Kathy sniffed. ‘Ted Conway touched me there once and I walloped him one in the chops.’

  ‘Did he?’ Brenda was agog. ‘You never told me.’

  ‘I was a bit embarrassed actually,’ Kathy confessed, blushing.

  ‘What did it feel like? Did your nipples go hard like Angelique’s?’ Brenda asked with great interest, referring to the heroine of the best-selling novel.

  ‘Nooooo,’ Kathy scoffed. ‘Not with that geek. Are you mad! It would probably take Paul Newman to do that.’ Paul Newman was their idol.

  Thinking of Angelique reminded Brenda of something and she turned back from observing the decadent Cora and gave Kathy a nudge. ‘Mrs Allen wants me to baby-sit tonight. Can you come down?’

  ‘Oh great!’ Kathy’s eyes brightened. ‘She always does lovely cream sponges.’

  ‘Mmmm, and her currant bread is scrumptious.’ Brenda felt a mite more cheerful. She enjoyed babysitting. It was a good way of earning a few bob and Mrs Allen was always very generous. She also had brilliant books. Kathy and she nearly went blind going through the pages of the Angelique and Forever Amber books, looking for the juicy bits. They were learning all about love-making from them.

  Brenda often pretended that she was Angelique or Amber and that she’d been kidnapped by Paul Newman, who was a pirate. She would rebuff his advances and be magnificently haughty with him until he could control his lust no longer. Then he would imprison her in his strong arms after a fierce struggle, and finally he would kiss her passionately and rip her bodice off her. Then he would have his wicked way with her, despite her pleading.

  What his wicked way was, exactly, Brenda was not too sure. Kathy was none the wiser either. They knew it was something to do with a fella’s mickey and going the whole way. But the details of what precisely it was eluded them. Some of the girls in their class seemed to know the ins and outs of the matter. But Brenda and Kathy never let on they were still in the dark. They didn’t want to appear unsophisticated. That was why they were avid readers of Mrs Allen’s paperbacks. Surely one of them would have all the details and they’d find the answer to the great mystery.

  ‘See ya, Kathy. See ya, Brenda.’ With a start, Brenda realized that they were at the stop for St Vincent’s. The lads were getting off. She turned to see Eddie and Kenny grinning at them. ‘See ya on the way home.’ They waved.

  Huh! I’m hugely impressed, Brenda sniffed. Did Eddie Fagan think it made the slightest bit of difference to her whether he was on the bus home or not? But she didn’t let him see how disgruntled she was that he’d sat beside the other girl. He was big-headed enough, she thought glumly.

  ‘See you, Kenny. See you, Eddie,’ she replied cheerfully, making sure to mention Kenny first. ‘Enjoy being back.’

  ‘Urgh!’ Eddie made a horrible face and disappeared down the stairs, followed by Kenny and Marty. Well at least he’d said goodbye, Brenda comforted herself as she settled back in her seat feeling a little happier as the bus took a sharp turn left down Whitworth Road. The waters of the canal sparkled in the sun and a swan glided serenely past causing just the merest ripple. She could see the grim forbidding walls of Mountjoy Prison and behind them the grey-stoned prison itself. The steel bars on all the windows gave her the shivers and she wondered if anyone was looking out on the canal from behind them. She picked up her bag and nudged Kathy. ‘Our stop.’ They got off near the end of Whitworth Road, walked briskly along, turned left towards Drumcondra and headed up in the direction of the Bishop’s Palace, which was beside the school.

  Ten minutes later, all thoughts of Eddie Fagan and Mountjoy Prison were banished from her mind as she and Kathy ran up the marble steps to St Theresa’s and amidst the mêlée of petrified new girls, sophisticated seniors, nuns in dark veils and harassed teachers, managed to rendezvous with various classmates. Eventually, they located their allotted classroom, adjacent to the head nun’s office, which caused much gloom and doom, but didn’t quite diminish their high-spirited enthusiasm at being together again. After all the excitement of being back at school, working out time-tables, arranging basketball matches, drama and debating society sessions, Brenda’s brain was frazzled and she completely forgot about Eddie until the bus home passed St Vincent’s School. She patted her hair, removed her tie and caught Kathy doing the same. They grinned at each other companionably.

  ‘You’d never know who’d get on,’ Kathy remarked. This time they were sitting at the back of the bus and had a bird’s eye view of the stairs and who came up it. Mind, every seat on the upper deck was full, so the fellas would have to stay downstairs, as standing was not allowed upstairs. They waited expectantly as the bus drew abreast of the stop. They could see Eddie, Kenny and Marty among the hordes waiting to get on. To their immense dismay, the bus didn’t stop but carried on past the howling mob of furious schoolboys.

  ‘Well blast it anyway.’

  ‘Aw shag it.’

  The girls were disgusted as the bus raced towards Botanic Road. Weren’t they ever going to have a bit of luck with men?

  That night the pair set off for Mrs Allen’s house in low spirits. Brenda was particularly glum. Her grandfather had been in hospital after having an accident and it looked as if he was going to be permanently disabled. Her da was up the walls, and Kit, who out of the goodness of her heart had visited him several times, was declaring that she was going visiting no more because he was so bloody rude. Brenda was glad to get away from the arguing and bad moods.

  They waved Mr and Mrs Allen off. They’d only be gone for a couple of hours, Mrs Allen assured Brenda. They were just going as far as the Bon Secours Hospital to visit an aunt, and were just going to pop into the Addison for a drink afterwards. The baby was asleep, for which the girls were very grateful, because he was a cranky little bugger when he was awake. The first thing they did, as always, was to see what was in the fridge.

  ‘Oh goody! Pickled onions.’ Kathy had a passion for pickled onions. She unscrewed the lid and popped one in her mouth. Brenda was more interested in a dish of macaroni cheese, and she ate a few spoonfuls with relish. Mrs Allen had made chicken and ham roll sandwiches for them and left the cream sponge as usual, but they always had a little raid on the fridge anyway.

  Then they took a couple of swigs out of
the gripe-water bottle. They loved the taste of gripe-water. ‘No doubt because of the 2 per cent alcohol,’ giggled Brenda as she replaced the bottle in the baby’s holdall.

  Next stop was the bookcase. They were deeply engrossed in The Adventures of a Spanish Lady who was about to be ravished by a hot-eyed, broad-shouldered, hairy-chested Duke, when the baby started screeching and Brenda’s nose led her to conclude that he had a dirty nappy. ‘This is where you really earn your money,’ she muttered to Kathy as she did the necessary.

  Fortunately, after taking six ounces of his bottle, he fell fast asleep again and the girls were able to return to the Spanish Lady and her throbbing, panting Duke.

  They spent a very pleasant few hours, reading and chatting and eating their supper. Compared to their own homes, Allen’s was an oasis of peace and quiet.

  ‘I’d nearly baby-sit for nothing here,’ Brenda confessed as she heard the key in the door.

  ‘Come on, girls, I’ll walk you home.’ Mr Allen, who was a real gentleman, offered, after his wife had paid them generously for their endeavours.

  ‘Not at all, Mr Allen. We’ll be fine. It’s just across The Green,’ Brenda replied politely.

  ‘Are you sure now?’ he queried.

  ‘Certainly,’ they chorused. Besides, it was only gone ten and there was no telling who they might meet crossing The Green and they didn’t want anyone to think they weren’t capable of walking home in the dark. They’d look like two right prats if any of the blokes saw Mr Allen walking them home.

  ‘He’s very nice, isn’t he?’ Kathy remarked. ‘You know the Tays?’

  ‘Who doesn’t? Isn’t Mister a fine thing?’ grinned Brenda.

  ‘Wait until I tell you. That’s what you think. That’s what I thought too,’ Kathy continued as they dawdled across The Green. ‘I was baby-sitting for them last weekend and he walked me home. When he got to my house he slipped two coins into my coat pocket. I thought they were two half-crowns, of course, but you know what they were, the mean old scrooge? Two thruppenny bits. God, I was hopping mad. I was there from seven in the evening until after one in the morning. How mean can you get? Six hours for sixpence. A penny an hour. I’m telling everyone who baby-sits not to go to them. So make sure you don’t either.’

  ‘Oh I won’t,’ Brenda retorted. ‘He might be a fine thing but after hearing that I’ve gone right off him. And to think we fancied him. I’m disgusted.’

  ‘Me too,’ Kathy agreed. ‘What a disappointment.’

  ‘Another hero bites the dust,’ Brenda sighed as they stepped off The Green onto the road.

  ‘Hiya girls.’ Eddie and Kenny emerged from under a light where they were having a cigarette. Brenda’s heart skipped a beat. She’d been hoping something like this might happen. None of the rest of the gang was around either, just Eddie and Kenny on their own.

  ‘Where’ve you been?’ Eddie asked.

  ‘Baby-sitting,’ Brenda answered nonchalantly. It would never do to let him know that she was thrilled to see him.

  ‘For who?’ Eddie held out his cigarette packet to the girls. They glanced at each other, nodded almost imperceptibly and took one each.

  ‘The Allens,’ Kathy said, inclining her head towards Kenny, who’d struck a match for her. Eddie took Brenda’s cigarette from her, put it to his lips and lit it from his own before handing it back to her. She nearly had a palpitation at the intimacy and romance of it.

  ‘Missed the bus home today, it never stopped,’ Eddie remarked.

  ‘It was pretty packed,’ Brenda informed him, taking a long slow deep sophisticated drag (just like Cora) from her cigarette. The cigarette that had been touched by her idol’s lips. Unfortunately she was not as used to smoking as the sophisticate in suede and she inhaled too deeply. Her eyes began to water, and she started spluttering and coughing, making a holy show of herself. Eddie had to thump her on the back and she was puce from lack of breath, not to talk about mortification. Kathy was looking at her in sympathetic horror.

  ‘Sorry,’ Brenda wheezed, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She’d never been so embarrassed in her entire life.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Eddie asked, concerned. Kenny gave a snort of suppressed laughter.

  ‘Stop it, you,’ Brenda heard Kathy hiss and she was pathetically grateful for her friend’s loyalty. Now that she had so spectacularly blown her chances of getting off with Eddie she was going to need a friend’s shoulder to cry on.

  Eddie still had his arm around her but all she wanted to do was to get away and burst into tears in private. ‘God, Brenda, you gave us a fright, just as well I don’t smoke Sweet Afton or we’d probably be calling an ambulance,’ he teased.

  ‘Or even an undertaker,’ quipped the irrepressible Kenny. In spite of herself, Brenda managed a weak smile.

  ‘We’d better get home,’ murmured Kathy helpfully, seeking to ease her friend’s discomfiture.

  ‘We’ll walk you,’ Eddie said matter-of-factly, much to Brenda’s amazement. She couldn’t figure it out. She’d have thought, after the pitiful spectacle she’d just made of herself, he’d want to beat it fast. But no, he was walking down the street talking away to her as if nothing had happened, pretending not to notice how flustered she was.

  Gradually a little poise returned and she managed to give an impression of normality.

  ‘So listen, Brenda,’ Eddie said. ‘Kenny and I usually hit the Dandelion Market on Saturday afternoons, would you and Kathy like to come with us this Saturday? We could go and have coffee in Bewley’s afterwards.’ Brenda was stunned. Eddie Fagan was asking her to go to the Dandelion Market, the place to be, on Saturday afternoon. She couldn’t believe it.

  ‘Well what d’ya think?’

  ‘Yeah, sure, I’d better check with Kathy to see if she’s available.’ Brenda’s voice sounded normal despite her galloping heartbeat.

  ‘Hey Kathy, d’ya fancy coming to the Dandelion on Saturday afternoon with Kenny, Brenda and me?’ Eddie called back to where the pair were walking along laughing and chatting.

  ‘You bet,’ Kathy agreed enthusiastically.

  ‘It’s a date then,’ Eddie declared as they reached Brenda’s front gate.

  ‘It’s a date,’ she echoed, almost in a dream.

  ‘’Night, Brenda.’ Kathy gave a small wink as she went on to her own house. Eddie waved at Brenda and she waved back and then she let herself in, her heart bursting with happiness.

  That night she lay in bed, blissfully happy, whispering, ‘It’s a date! It’s a date,’ while Jennifer lay slumbering peacefully in the other bed, quite unaware of the hugely important event that had just taken place in her older sister’s life.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Brenda was up with the lark, which was most unusual for her, on a Saturday morning. But she wanted to get her chores done and be ready for what she knew was going to be a wonderful afternoon. She was still dancing on air and had been all week, since that magical evening when Eddie had suggested ‘The Date.’ These days really were worth living, she thought happily, humming a gay little tune as she stripped her bed and got clean sheets from the hot press. She loved getting into a bed with clean sheets and pillowcases. They were sent to the Swastika laundry every week and delivered back crisp and starched with little yellow and white tags on them which had to be peeled off. Tonight when she got into her freshly changed bed she would have been on her date. She would be able to replay every precious second in her mind in the darkness.

  ‘Come on, Jenny, get out of bed and take the sheets off,’ Brenda instructed her younger sister, who was engrossed in her comic.

  ‘Aw, Bren, it’s real early, Mammy and Daddy aren’t even up yet,’ Jennifer protested.

  ‘Come on, Jenny, I want to get the beds changed,’ Brenda snapped. The last thing she needed was Jennifer acting up.

  ‘There’s no school today. I don’t have to get up early,’ Jennifer declared.

  Brenda decided the best tack was bribery. ‘Pleeaass
e, Jenny,’ she wheedled. ‘I’ll give you thruppence if you get up and give me a hand with the beds and the brasses.’

  ‘OK,’ her sister said brightly, hopping out of bed with alacrity and starting to pull off her sheets with vigour. Great, thought Brenda, it was wonderful what a bribe could do. With Jenny’s help she’d have her chores done in no time.

  ‘“It’s been a hard day’s night—”’

  ‘“And I’ve been working like a dog,”’ finished her sister enthusiastically as they tucked in the bottom sheet on Brenda’s bed.

  ‘What’s rare is wonderful.’ Their mother poked her head around the door and smiled at them. ‘Singing together, making the beds, no arguments, maybe I’m still asleep and having a dream.’ Brenda beamed at her. She hadn’t yet mentioned that she was going into town for the afternoon. Well not even town . . . the Dandelion Market. Brenda wasn’t too sure how her parents would react to that. It was only in the last year, since she’d started secondary school, that she was allowed to go into town on her own with Kathy. Still, if she had all her jobs done, and there were no rows, that might help persuade her mother to let her go. She wasn’t going to fib exactly. She’d just say she was going shopping with Kathy and the gang. This was not a lie, Brenda rationalized. She was going shopping . . . in the Dandelion Market and Eddie and Kenny were part of the gang.

  ‘You won’t forget to go to Confession today and take Sean and Jenny with you,’ her mother reminded her.

  Drat! thought Brenda to herself. She’d forgotten all about going to Confession. They went to Confession every second Saturday morning. Still, if she had all her work finished, lunch would be nearly ready by the time they got home. Because she did the brasses and changed the beds on Saturdays, Sean and Jenny had to do the washing-up, so she’d be free to go. She’d done all her homework. She’d made sure to do it last night so there’d be no obstacles in her path.