Kit relished every mouthful of her little treat. It was nice to sit back sipping her coffee and watch people bustling about. She didn’t have to hurry anywhere. Afterwards, she spent ages testing and trying out new make-up. Then she went to Roches where she bought herself a navy tank top and flowery blouse and a flowing patterned skirt. A rush of adrenalin surged through her as she paid for her purchases. This was better than sex any day, she thought giddily. Jim had better not open his mouth about how much she’d spent or she’d let him have it. Though to give him his due, he was not a mean man. He’d been a very considerate husband until his father arrived.
It was amazing, Kit reflected, as she stood waiting for the 13 bus, how a trip to the hairdressers and lunch and a spree in town could lift the spirits so dramatically. She couldn’t believe she was the same woman who’d been so weepy and depressed this morning. She felt rejuvenated. Don’t lose this feeling, Kit warned herself as she sat, surrounded by her parcels, on the back seat of the almost empty bus. She knew it would be all too easy to slip back into her negative mood if she let herself. Well she wasn’t going to let herself. She was going to fight back and reclaim what she could of her life, because otherwise she could see herself ending up on Valium. She’d seen the signs of it in the mirror that morning and it had shaken her. The only one who could do anything about it was herself and she’d taken the first step with her impulsive trip to town.
I’m proud of you, Kit, she congratulated herself, trying to give herself courage as she walked across The Green. She wondered what kind of a reception she’d get when she got home.
‘Mam, it’s fantastic. You look brill,’ Jennifer enthused as she came out to the hall to welcome her mother home. She’d been worried about her, and here she was looking a million dollars with a new haircut and a lovely colour in her hair. She’d had her face made up too and she looked really well. Better than Jennifer had seen her looking in months.
‘Do you like it?’ Kit gave a sheepish smile. ‘It’s a bit drastic, isn’t it?’
‘It’s just what you needed,’ Jennifer insisted. ‘What did you buy?’
They went through her purchases, holding them up against Kit for effect.
‘Did you get home early? The boys aren’t home yet, are they?’ Kit enquired as she folded her new clothes neatly and put them back in the bags.
‘I got off early because it was our first day,’ Jennifer told her. ‘Come on, let’s have a cup of tea and I’ll tell you all about it.’
‘Where’s himself?’ Her mother grimaced.
‘Sitting out the back smoking his pipe and reading his paper. He’s in a huff because he had to get his own breakfast and lunch.’
‘Isn’t it a pity about him? He’s lucky he’s still alive to be in a huff, and that I didn’t murder him this morning,’ Kit retorted sarcastically. ‘I’d better go and make the beds before I sit down for a cup of tea. You go and put the kettle on.’
‘The beds are made and the table is set for the dinner,’ Jennifer declared, taking her mother firmly by the arm and leading her into the kitchen.
‘You’re a dote and I’d be lost without you.’ Kit hugged her warmly and Jennifer hugged her back, glad that her mother seemed much more cheerful in herself.
They sat at the kitchen table, drinking their tea and gossiping about their respective days. The afternoon sun streamed through the small window in the front, shining on her mother’s newly coiffed and coloured hair. Jennifer was extremely impressed with the style and cut of it. Before, her mother’s hair had hung just to the top of her shoulders and had been well streaked with grey. It was now a lovely reddish blond and the cut was sharp and short, emphasizing her mother’s fine cheekbones and lovely grey eyes. It was a complete transformation.
They were peeling the potatoes for the dinner when her grandfather walked in through the back door.
‘Where’ve you been? The bread-man came and I didn’t know what to get and those Imco cleaners came and I didn’t know if you were sending anything to be cleaned. It’s a bloody nuisance answering the door all day when you don’t know what to be saying to people,’ he grouched. He couldn’t see Kit clearly because the sun was shining directly in his eyes. He moved out of the glare just as she turned around to answer him.
‘Holy Hand a the Livin’ God! What have you done to yourself, woman?’ he expostulated. Jennifer turned away to hide her grin.
‘I went to the hairdressers,’ Kit retorted, ‘is that a crime?’
‘It is when you spend good money and come out looking like that,’ the old man snorted as he limped through the kitchen and gave the door a ferocious slam.
Jennifer and Kit looked at each other, open-mouthed at his rudeness.
‘Could you beat that?’ Kit scowled. Jennifer couldn’t help it, she burst into giggles.
‘But did you see the face of him? It was priceless,’ she chuckled. Her mother saw the funny side of it and started to laugh herself. The boys arrived home about ten minutes later and, after the initial shock of their mother’s changed appearance, forgot all about it and went off to play football.
Jennifer was pouring milk into the jug when she heard her father’s key in the door. She heard her grandfather emerge from his bedroom, where he’d been sulking, to go and greet his son.
After he’d said hello, Jim asked him how he was. ‘And how would you expect me to be and I left here to my own devices all day? Had to get my own breakfast and lunch and answer the door to every Tom, Dick and Harry that called. That wife of yours has lost the run of herself. She went off into town and got a new-fangled hairdo. And I could have starved for all she cared.’ Jennifer was furious. The nerve of him. The first time in ages that Kit had a day to herself and he was making a fuss about it. She was sorely tempted to go out and give him a piece of her mind, but her father wouldn’t take too kindly to it. He never let them cheek their grandfather.
Jim walked into the kitchen looking tired. ‘Hi Dad.’ She gave him a kiss.
‘Hi Jenny, how did your first day go?’ Her father smiled at her as he walked over to the sink to wash his hands.
‘It was great. Beth and I are in the same class. We’re sitting together and we’ve got a lovely form teacher, Sister Agnes. She’s really young and quite modern,’ Jennifer assured him.
‘That’s good.’ His lips twitched in amusement at the ‘quite modern’ bit. He turned to face her. ‘Where’s Brenda? Is she not home from school yet?’
‘She’s in Kathy’s, they’re doing their homework together. Mam’s leaving her dinner in the pot,’ she explained.
‘Where’s your mother? I believe she’s got a new hairdo?’
‘Oh Daddy, it’s lovely,’ Jennifer said eagerly. ‘And tell her that when she comes in. She’s hanging out some tea towels.’ Kit arrived in a minute later and stopped short when she saw her husband.
‘Good Lord!’ Jim stared at his wife. Jennifer watched him warily. She hoped he wouldn’t say anything uncomplimentary as Grumps had done.
‘I needed a change, I was getting in a rut,’ Kit explained defensively.
‘It’s very nice, it’s a bit different but it’s very nice, Kit,’ her husband approved. ‘I like the colour.’ They smiled at each other. Jennifer felt a huge wave of relief wash over her. Slowly she exhaled the breath she’d been holding. Sometimes things were a little tense between her parents. Anything could start a row. After Grandpa’s ear-bashing and complaints a minute ago, Jennifer had been anxious about how Jim would react. He seemed to like it and that was the main thing.
They were sitting down having a cup of tea after their dessert when the subject came around to Kit’s hairdo. Jim asked about the price, but before his wife had a chance to tell him, Grandpa Myles, who hadn’t said a word all through the meal, butted in truculently, ‘Waste of bloody money if you ask me. A woman of your age trying to look like a young wan. It’s ridiculous. If you’re grey you’re grey, that’s the way the good Lord meant it to be.’
‘Nobody asked
you,’ Kit said hotly. ‘It’s got nothing to do with you. Nothing at all. So mind your own business.’
‘Oh yes it has. It’s got plenty to do with me,’ he argued triumphantly. ‘It is my business when I’m left here to look after myself and me a cripple and people knocking at the door and I not knowing what to say to them. It’s got plenty to do with me, when you’re out spending good money that my poor son has had to work himself to the bone for and you’re frittering it away on nonsense,’ he blustered.
Jennifer saw her mother’s face go pale. In an instant she jumped from her chair, lifted the jug of milk off the table and flung it at her father-in-law, drenching him. ‘I’m sick to death of you,’ she shouted. ‘I’m fed up to the back teeth listening to you criticizing me and my children. I don’t want you here, you ignoramus, but I’ve got to put up with you because your own daughter won’t have you in her house. I’m not taking any more nonsense from you, Dan Myles, so shut your goddamn mouth.’
‘Kit, that’s enough!’ Jim shot up, grabbed a tea towel and started wiping his stunned father’s shirt.
‘Don’t you DARE tell me that’s enough, Jim Myles! Don’t you bloody dare! You stand up for him. You’ve never once stood up for me against him and I’m supposed to be your wife. Ha!’ she snorted. ‘Well from now on he’s your responsibility. If I feel like a day out I’m going to have a day out. Because I’ve had enough of the pair of you.’ Face contorted with anger, she walked out the door and slammed it so hard it shook the picture of the Holy Family on the wall.
There was silence at the table. Jennifer felt sick.
‘That woman is going off her head, and what kind of a way is that for any wife to talk to her husband? You’d want to give her a proper telling-off, Jim. I wouldn’t have stood for that impudence from your mother,’ her grandfather declared.
Fury welled up in her.
‘You leave my mother alone, she’s very good to you and all you do is upset her,’ she burst out. ‘You’re a mean pig.’
‘Jennifer!’ her father roared. ‘Apologize to your grandfather immediately.’
‘I will not because that’s what he is,’ she yelled. ‘And you never stand up for Mammy. It’s always him.’
‘Be quiet,’ her father shouted. ‘And don’t give me back cheek or I’ll let you know about it. Don’t think because you’re in secondary school now you’re going to start getting notions about yourself. Leave the table and go to your room and don’t let me hear another word. And you,’ he glared at his father, ‘be quiet.’
Jennifer burst into tears. Her father was pointing his finger right in her face. She wanted to thump him and to tell him to stop picking on her, which he always did when he was angry. It wasn’t her and her mother he should be shouting at, it was his trouble-maker of a father who had caused all the fuss in the first place.
Crying, she rushed out of the kitchen and ran upstairs to her bedroom. I’m never ever getting married, she vowed bitterly, and when I grow up I’m never going to let any man boss me around the way my dad does. I just hate him, she sobbed to herself. She could hear her mother weeping in the adjoining bedroom. All of a sudden she felt very scared. Her parents were not getting on well any more. Was it always going to be like this? Jennifer felt as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders as she went to comfort her mother.
Chapter Seventeen
‘Jenny, will you go to the shop for me?’ Brenda asked.
‘Ah Bren, I’m tired,’ she raised her head from the brilliant Georgette Heyer book she was reading and gazed over at her sister, who was sprawled across her bed gazing at a photo of Mick Jagger.
If Jennifer heard Satisfaction just once more she’d freak. Brenda played it night and day.
It was a Sunday afternoon and the house was peaceful. Her mother was off visiting an arts and crafts exhibition at her ladies’ club. Her father was at a football match with her brothers. And from the rumbles downstairs, Jennifer deduced that her grandfather was snoring his head off enjoying an after-dinner nap. To tell the truth she felt like going for a nap herself. She’d been working all summer, in a jam-making factory. Yesterday had been her last day and she’d got overtime as well but she was absolutely whacked. It was her turn to make the Sunday dinner so she couldn’t even have a lie-in this morning. The last thing she wanted to do was to go traipsing off to the shops. Besides, it had started to bucket rain. So much for summer, she thought dispiritedly. In two days’ time, her mother, the boys and herself were heading down to a caravan site at Carne beach for ten days’ holiday. Beth was coming too and Jennifer was living for it. Beth had been working in a café in town and she was even more exhausted than Jennifer was because she’d had to work shift hours. All they were going to do was sleep and eat, they promised themselves. They weren’t looking forward to going back to school this year either. It was their Inter Cert year and they were going to have to knuckle under and get some serious study done.
‘Please, Jenny, I’m dying for some chocolate,’ Brenda interrupted her musings. ‘I’ll treat you as well.’
Jennifer sighed. She knew Brenda would nag and nag and the afternoon would be ruined if she didn’t go and get the bloomin’ chocolate. She could, of course, refuse outright and then her sister would have a face on her and go into one of her huffs. It was such a pain in the neck. All Jennifer wanted to do was snuggle under her quilt with her book and drop off into a nice doze when her eyes got heavy. The rain was beating against the window. In the distance, over the mountains, she could hear the rumble of thunder. It was a perfect afternoon to be lazing in bed. Why couldn’t Brenda just piss off and leave her alone?
‘Come on, let’s have a binge. Just think, crisps and chocolate and lemonade, you can have what you like,’ her sister wheedled.
‘Oh give me the money!’ Jennifer barked, throwing back her quilt and getting off the bed. There was no point in sitting listening to that carry-on for the afternoon. She might as well get it over with so she could finally relax.
Brenda threw her a pound note. ‘Just spend the lot of it, I don’t care,’ she instructed. ‘Get me two packets of crisps, some chocolate and whatever else you like.’
‘You’re going to hate yourself after. You’ll be moaning about putting on weight,’ Jennifer warned, hoping against hope that Brenda might reconsider.
‘Who cares? I don’t. I just want some chocolate,’ Brenda declared glumly, staring at her favourite picture of herself and Eddie. They’d had a tiff.
‘Look, you’re going to be huge if you keep having feasts like this,’ Jennifer cautioned.
‘I’ll start my diet tomorrow,’ Brenda promised. ‘Would you get me a fruit slice, if they have one, as well?’
It was hard living with someone who was in love, Jennifer reflected as she stepped over a huge puddle and tried to keep her umbrella from blowing inside out. It was more like the middle of winter than summer.
It would be such a relief to get away for a few days, she thought as she battled her way home, ten minutes later, with a bag of goodies under her arm.
An ambulance went roaring past, its siren wailing, its lights flashing, and she said a quick prayer for the occupant. She hadn’t seen which direction it had come from, she’d been so busy keeping her head down against the sheets of rain that were blowing into her face. She arrived home, dripping wet, cold and miserable but with the prospect of her book and bed and some chocolate to cheer her up. Brenda met her at the foot of the stairs. She looked concerned about something.
‘Jenny, Beth’s had a terrible accident. She’s just been taken to hospital in the ambulance. Kathy ran in to tell me. It’s very serious,’ she heard her sister say. Jennifer felt tears spring to her eyes. That was the end of Beth coming on holiday and she had been so looking forward to it.
‘What happened?’ she asked, shocked.
‘She was standing on a ladder while her brother was passing her down a case from the attic and the ladder moved and she slipped and lost her footing and fell over the ban
isters on her head.’
‘Oh God, it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t asked her to go on holidays she wouldn’t have been getting a case from the attic.’
‘Don’t be daft, Jenny, these things happen. You can’t blame yourself. It was the hand of God,’ Brenda declared. ‘Did you get my chocolate?’
Mutely, Jennifer handed over the bag. Brenda was so self-centred. Imagine asking if Jennifer had bought her chocolate at a time like this, she thought in disgust. All Jennifer wanted to do was to go into the hospital and see how Beth was. The prospect of going on holidays without her was most unappealing. Nothing ever turned out the way you wanted it to, she thought forlornly, refusing Brenda’s offer of a bar of whole-nut. Her stomach was tied up in knots. Beth was seriously ill. Just how serious was serious? Was it broken limbs or was it much worse? Please God, let Beth be OK, she prayed silently, wondering should she call down to Clearys but not wishing to intrude. The ambulance had only passed her a few minutes ago. There wouldn’t be any news yet.
The news, when it came, was not good. Beth was unconscious with a broken neck. They didn’t know the extent of the injuries. Beyond that they could not say. Jennifer was devastated. Only family were allowed to visit and Mrs Cleary insisted that Jennifer go on holidays with her mother and brothers as planned. ‘There’s nothing you can do by staying at home, pet,’ she insisted. ‘They won’t let you in to see her so you might as well go. You can phone me every night and I’ll tell you what’s happening.’
Jennifer went to the mobile home with her mother and brothers, but it was the most miserable holiday of her life. First of all, she was plagued by guilt. Guilt at being on holidays when her friend was seriously ill in hospital and guilt at feeling responsible for the accident. It didn’t help that it rained for eight of the ten days and all she could do was sit staring out at the grey gloom trying to figure out where the sky merged with the angry leaden sea. Reading offered her no solace. Her thoughts constantly strayed towards home and Beth. Each night she phoned Mrs Cleary to be told the same news. Beth was in a coma and her condition had not improved. Trapped in the claustrophobic confines of the holiday home, listening to her mother moaning about having to put up with her father-in-law in the house, listening to her brothers arguing the toss out of boredom, Jennifer felt like screaming.
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