“Hey, I’m not shallow or anything,” Colton said quickly. He didn’t have to defend himself, but it was sad to see such a young girl already jaded about men. “If I remember right, I thought she was attractive when I met her before.” He was pushing it by saying so, since he couldn’t remember much about the meeting besides Cara being angry. He just didn’t want to come off as some superficial jerk.
“Whatever,” Paige said as she rolled her eyes while examining a hot sauce packet. She tossed it aside with a sigh and crumpled up her half uneaten taco into the wrapper. “This is a good opportunity for both of you, I see it. You can be distracted by an amazing woman who is bright, gentle, and considerate—she’s kinda clumsy, which is always funny. She’s a graceful clumsy, I think you can call it.
“And Zoe would have someone who I am told is gentle and considerate and patient.
You’ll definitely have to look past the cover and see the chapters, that’s for sure.” Under her breath she said something about not thinking he was capable of that.
Colton set his cup down a little harder than he had planned. His entire body felt tight—
his neck was even uncomfortably stiff and his fingers hurt. Never in a million years did he think he would be asked to do something as outrageous as date a girl just to show her how to date. Couldn’t she read a book of dos and don’ts for that kind of information?
Didn’t Cosmo hold the key to all of that? Couldn’t Minnie tell her everything she needed to know? It seemed like an extreme step to take to get someone out of a dating rut.
Colton couldn’t believe that he was actually considering it.
Like it or not, he did need a distraction from the pathetic nature that had become his life.
He had a feeling that Zoe wouldn’t be all over him like Preston’s girl friends had been.
He wasn’t going to deny that fooling around with those young college girls had been a nice little distraction, but that wasn’t what he was looking for now. This would be something innocent, something he wouldn’t feel guilty about when Cara came home.
Plus, he knew that Zoe was Minnie’s closest friend and he loved his sister dearly.
Still, it was a silly idea and he couldn’t help chuckle and shake his head with amazement.
“See, I told you Minnie,” Paige sighed. Colton watched as she stood up and heaved her book bag onto one slender shoulder. She picked up her drink. “I gotta go back to school—I can walk myself. Bye Colton.” She shifted slowly across the gazebo and hopped down onto the cobble path.
“Wait,” Minnie set her taco aside and hurried after Paige. She caught the girl by the arm only a few feet from the gazebo. “What’s wrong?”
“This isn’t going to work!” Paige hissed. She looked hesitantly at Colton and then turned her body away from him, she didn’t, however, lower her voice. “He’s not right for Zoe—
we were wrong.”
“What the heck do you mean?” Minnie hissed back. “You said he was perfect.”
“No—he’s too into looks.”
Colton sat up a little straighter. He wanted to deny what she had just said, but he didn’t want to seem like an eavesdropper. Paige pushed her hair over her shoulder and shrugged sadly. Whatever Minnie was saying to her, Colton couldn’t hear, but Paige just seemed to grow sadder and sadder. He even saw her chin tremble as she struggled not to cry.
“It’s not fair, she’s so nice!” Paige exclaimed. As emotions overcame her, she waved Minnie away and turned to leave. “I have to go now.”
“Paige, come on!” Minnie said quickly. “Don’t give up—I know my brother.”
“He called her round!” Paige hissed.
“Um, ladies,” Colton found himself walking out of the gazebo toward them. He didn’t even remember standing and he didn’t know why he was doing this. He smiled at Paige and then put his hand on her shoulder. She tilted her chin back to look up at him. His heart wrenched when he saw her blue eyes swimming with tears. “I’ll do it.”
“You will?” Paige asked with a small, uncertain voice.
“Yes,” Colton nodded. “Sure—I mean it could be fun. I do need a distraction from my pretty pathetic existence. And it sounds like Zoe is pretty important to you both.”
“Yeah, she is,” Paige sniffled.
“Then I want to help out,” Colton said. He hoped that she hadn’t caught the slight hesitation in his voice.
“But are you really sure?” Paige asked.
A wave of uncertainty hit him at that moment, but he pushed those feelings down and nodded his head. Of course he wasn’t sure—who could be in such a situation? However, life was about taking risks and it had been far too long since Colton had done something slightly scary. And he could be a good boyfriend—he was a good boyfriend, damn it. He could be a good pretend boyfriend too or whatever they were calling it. Besides all of that, he was good at helping people. He was pretty sure he could help Minnie and Paige’s friend.
“Yeah, I’m really sure.” Colton nodded.
Suddenly Paige’s entire face and mood changed, her eyes became dry and bright, and the smile that spread across her face, revealing crooked teeth, was so brilliant the corners of Colton’s own mouth turned up. She grabbed his hand and excitedly tugged him back under the gazebo. She gestured for him to sit down and then set her cup on the ground and dropped her bag off her shoulder. She opened the main zipper and pulled out a blue folder. She then sat down beside him.
“This is excellent news, Colton!” She said with excitement. She pulled out a slip of paper with a letterhead and typed text out of the folder. “I took the liberty of drawing up a contract.”
Colton’s chest tightened. He looked back at Minnie and saw a smile on her face. He realized that he had just been duped.
He sat back slightly, silently asking her why, but Minnie just shrugged and sat down to finish her lunch. Colton looked back at Paige with uncertainty and took the sheet of paper she held in front of his face. She took a second one out, which he noticed was identical to the one he held. A sheet for his files and one for hers, he supposed.
This was suddenly all too real for him. A few dates, sure, but a contract? One that could possibly be held up in a court somewhere, not it would ever get to that point.
“Would you like to take a minute to read it first?” Paige asked as she handed him a pen.
He took it from her and nodded. For some reason he felt slightly nauseous—maybe the taco meat was bad after all. “Don’t look so scared—it’s a good contract.” Colton smiled hesitantly and then began reading:
From the Desk of Paige Dryer
“A Starter Boyfriend” Contract
Agreement between Paige Dryer and Colton Philips
I, Colton Philips , agree to act as a Starter Boyfriend , for Ms. Zoe Rayne of Manhattan.
This contract is set to begin immediately, as of April 10th, and will end on June 10th. An option to extend the contract is available should both parties choose to do so.
The duty of a starter boyfriend is not to fall in love or partake in any physical activities (ie: kissing, cuddling, sex).
Colton looked over at Paige. His heart had leapt at the word sex. She seemed far too young to even know what it was. Far too young. He was almost hesitant to read the rest of the contract. After the next sentence he knew that he didn’t want to read any more.
Both parties must choose to kiss, cuddle, and engage in other sexual activities of their own free will. And will practice safe sex. I, Colton Philips, will consider kissing Ms.
Rayne should I feel so inclined.
As a Starter Boyfriend there will be several duties of which I will be involved. I promise to complete the following, mandatory tasks:
1. I will take Ms. Rayne on a first date and will make it romantic and fun.
2. I will call her frequently and send emails.
3. I will take her on no less than seven dates in the two months time frame.
4. I will show her what to look for
in men.
5. I will not be a jerk.
After my first date with Ms. Rayne, if I find myself completely turned off by her, I have the option of going back on my word with no penalty.
There was a place for him to sign his name at the bottom of the paper. For good measure he reread the contract, and with a lump in his throat he signed his name.
“Date too, please,” Paige said.
Colton added the date and then signed and dated the other sheet. Paige handed him one more slip of paper from the folder. It had Zoe’s contact information written out in purple marker. Paige placed her copy back in the folder and then shoved everything back into her bag.
“I’m excited,” she admitted. “I think this is going to be really good—Zoe’s great! I'd talk to you about her more, but I gotta run for real or I'll miss the bell and get detention. I can't get in trouble.”
She slipped off the bench, lugged her bookbag to her shoulder, and then ran off down the path, across the bridge, and back inside his shop. Colton slowly turned his gaze to his sister. Minnie had the decency to look slightly guilty, but the look disappeared the instant she shrugged her shoulder.
“Was I just tricked by a ten year old?”
“Paige is 12,” Minnie said. “And I think she did get you with the fake tears and comments about how you’re shallow. We didn’t plan that, it was improv. She'd make a great actress, I might need to arrange for her to go with Mark to the theater during his rehersals next week. You know she’s pretty damn smart that girl.” Colton laughed bitterly and shook his head; his eyes never left the contract in his hands.
“I’m glad you think so highly of her, Minnie, but honestly, what have I gotten myself into?”
“Nothing bad,” Minnie answered. “Honestly, Colt. Zoe is a great girl; she’s just a little shy, a little clumsy, and maybe has little self confidence. She just needs a little encouragement.”
“Great,” Colton sighed. “You couldn’t encourage her?”
“You think I haven’t tried?” Minnie laughed. “If it makes you feel any better, she wasn’t so thrilled about the idea either,” Minnie stood up and walked toward her brother. She wrapped her arm around him as she sat down. “She wants to take a chance, who better than to try her baby steps on than you? Patient, loyal, dependable you? She’s a very nice person, Colton, I just want to help her out.”
“But she didn’t ask for your help, did she?” Minnie sighed heavily and pulled her arm from around him. She fiddled with the belt looped around her waist and didn’t look at him. “Minnie you can’t just butt into people’s personal lives like this.”
“You both need a boost, Colton,” she said. “I’ll feel bad about it when it doesn’t work out.” She stood and started gathering up trash. “You need this too you know—if anything you’ll get an amazing friend out of Zoe. Maybe you’ll even fall in love.” Colton looked up from Paige’s contract and watched his sister for a minute. He wasn’t sure he was ready to fall in love again. He felt like his heart was all used up.
“Can I tell Zoe that you’ll be calling her?” She asked hesitantly. Colton watched his sister pick up pieces of lettuce off the gazebo floor. She didn’t look back at him. She probably knew that he was on the cusp of changing his mind.
He really didn’t want to be anyone’s starter boyfriend—he’d lost one fiancée, what made him the expert? With shaking hands he folded up the contract and slipped it into his front pocket. He stood slowly and began gathering up his trash. Shoving his wrappers in the bag she opened to him, Colton put his arm around Minnie’s shoulders and tugged her close. He kissed the top of her head and sighed.
“If this blows up in my face…”
“It won’t,” Minnie said quickly. “I swear.”
“If I get hurt again…”
“Why would you get hurt?” She drew back slowly and stared up at him. “This isn’t about falling in love or becoming romantic with someone new. It’s about having fun, Colt.” She reached up to cup his cheek like their mother did when she was trying to comfort him.
“When was the last time you had fun with a woman? Hell, when was the last time you had fun period?”
Sadly, Colton couldn’t remember the last time.
Minnie stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek; she patted his shoulder as she walked around him. “Besides, no way Zoe would do anything to hurt you Colton. She’s not that type of girl. Here, don’t lose this one.” She handed him the paper with Zoe’s contact information. “You’ll call her?”
“Yeah,” He said after a while. “I suppose it’s time to take a chance on someone new—
and it’s not like she’s expecting romance, right?”
Minnie thought about that for a minute and then nodded. For some reason, Colton didn’t believe her.
“I don’t really think Zoe’s expecting much actually—so it should be pretty easy!” She stepped out of the gazebo and started across the path. Colton followed although slower.
It was a thirty-foot walk to the back door, but it felt like a mile. With each step Colton changed his mind. He didn’t want to be a disappointment to any other woman and he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life. He wished he hadn’t signed Paige’s contract because he felt like he’d really be letting the girl down if he didn’t follow through with her plan. It might be fun taking an inexperienced girl out and showing her a good time.
He did need a new friend—Cara had taken all of those with her too.
April 10th was on Saturday—two days from then. Colton could probably set up a date in that short of a time. Stepping into his workshop, he looked at Minnie as she threw the trash into one of the large trashcans in the corner. She turned on her toes, much like a ballerina, and smiled at him.
He smiled back and nodded. “Sure… I’ll call her.”
For a moment there was shock in Minnie’s eyes, but it disappeared as she launched herself into his arms with an uncharacteristic girly scream of delight. She released him instantly and clapped her hands.
“I’ll tell her that you’ll call her, okay, and please do Colton. Don’t screw this up.” He heard the unsaid words— like the last time—and nodded.
He wasn’t going to screw up a pretend relationship. Hell, how could you?
--
Lesson Three:
When dating you have to look at the fine details of the big picture. Sometimes first
impressions truly do reveal the beast within and other times they’re just all out wrong.
Zoe refused to acknowledge how sad it was that she was sitting alone in her 14th floor office in the Bowmont Building, working steadily at her drawing table on a Saturday morning. Nothing on her plate was pressing and she certainly wasn’t overly swamped that she had to come in on a weekend. She had the art for a few ad campaigns with non-pressing deadlines and had a few other media packet projects for a few Hollywood functions in Manhattan. However, nothing she was doing at present could be considered a dire emergency; she just didn’t have anything else to do. She woke up at six, exercised for 90 minutes, showered, got dressed, had breakfast, and then sat around her apartment staring at the walls until she decided to come in. At least here in her office at Mallory-Witt Advertising, she had enough breathing room, not to mention a killer view of Manhattan.
Still, there was something desperately lonely about her life.
She spent Friday night on her couch watching old TV reruns and had declined an invitation to head out to happy hour after work. She would have gone, but she’d always been weak when it came to sugar and calorie-laden mixed cocktails. So she turned down the invitation and spent her evening painting her toenails and nibbling 94 fat free popcorn. And because she would have spent her entire Saturday doing more of the same, she decided to come to work.
Now, she regretted it and how pathetic she felt. But then lots of people came to the office on the weekend, just not this particular one. Anyway, she’d put the hours toward her dream vacation: a trip to Greece. She had been sa
ving for nearly two years. She started stuffing stray bills in a piggy bank before she even attempted to lose weight, and as the pounds started to drop, she convinced herself that a summer trip to Greece would be a perfect gift for her thinner self. She had reached her goals and was still trying to convince herself to actually make a few plans to get out there and celebrate. She didn’t really want to travel alone though.
She’d get there eventually—she certainly had the money stored away for it. It was just a matter stepping out and getting on a plane.
As she stared longingly at a poster of Greece that hung on the wall, Zoe was startled when her office phone suddenly began to ring. The loud, shrilly sound, which on a weekday was normally muted by the other sounds of the offices around her, echoed in the silence around her now. Falling out of her chair she rushed across the room to her desk and pressed the speaker button with trembling fingers.
“This is Zoe.”
“Oh my god, we’re not even going to discuss why you’re at work on a Saturday,” Minnie’s loud voice echoed in Zoe’s office. Smiling, Zoe sank down onto her swiveling chair and leaned close to the phone. “I’ve been trying your cell.”
“I haven’t been here long,” Zoe said quickly. She wouldn’t admit that it was nearing three hours, Minnie would freak out and lecturer her that the point of an eight-to-five, Monday-through-Friday job, was to take weekends off. “What are you doing? Do you want to go shopping?” She picked up an X-acto knife that she had been using yesterday and carefully sheathed it with the plastic tip.
“No, I can’t—I’m taking Paige to see what it’s like behind the scenes of a Broadway show, she’s pretty excited.”
Zoe frowned. “That’s great, Min.”
Wasn’t Paige supposed to be her Little Sister? Not that Zoe was complaining. Minnie had a wide range of contacts and friends and could open doors for Paige that Zoe couldn’t.
She supposed advertising got old after awhile—especially for someone with a mind for drama and law. Still—they were spending a lot of time together lately.
“You can come if you want,” Minnie said quickly. “We’re making an afternoon of it—
Microsoft Word - Starter Boyfriend.doc Page 4