“That was a sad uncomfortable day,” Chuck continued as he drove forward. Zoe kept her eyes on the daffodils. “But anyone could have told him that Cara wasn’t ready to be married—she was a free spirit you know? Sure she said yes and she loves him madly, but she was a bit spooked for some reason. You’d never seen two people more in love than Cara and Colton.”
Zoe didn’t know how to respond. She wondered how Colton explained who she was to this man. He’d assumed that they were dating, but how much did Chuck really know.
How much did Colton tell him? Did Colton say they were dating or that she was just some friend? For some reason the latter was not appealing to Zoe anymore. She didn’t want to be just some friend of Colton’s there to help him pass the time. She wanted to be more. Hell, she’d nearly given it all up for him last night.
She was frustrated at herself for just how much she wanted to be with Colton. How much she wanted to push aside doing what was right and responsible in order to live in the moment. Last night she had really wanted to live and feel; she wanted to be with him.
Colton had self control, which Zoe respected and was very thankful for, but if he had only known just how easy it would have been to convince her to take that step she would have given in. Had he showed the slightest bit of giving in, Zoe would have made love to him last night. On the other hand, if he was still hung up on Cara, she was glad that things hadn’t gotten more serious. There was no going back from that step, and Zoe was certain that sleeping with him would only make her love him more.
Yes, love.
Zoe had realized after Colton left her apartment that morning, while Minnie was quietly and gently lecturing her on ways to guard herself from heartache, that she was quite in love with Colton already. She’d tried to push those thoughts aside and convince herself that it was just a super huge crush, one that wouldn’t evolve into anything else, but she knew better. Zoe had loved Colton from the moment she saw him standing awkwardly in the doorway of her little apartment that day Preston tricked her at Rylie’s. She knew how whimsical it was to believe in love at first sight, but that was exactly what had happened to her. She considered it puppy love or maybe lust, but she’d felt those things in the past and they were nothing to what she was feeling now. This feeling was different, and that difference scared her deeply. Especially when both Chuck and Minnie continued to tell her how in love Colton had been with Cara, a woman he’d dated for years. She didn’t miss their subtle hints that said Colton was still in love.
Zoe stared out the window as Chuck drove them up a long driveway that ended before a huge mansion. She didn’t hear what he was saying about the house owners because her eyes had found Colton standing at the side of the house talking to a blond woman. The woman didn’t look like any of Colton’s workers who wore blue polo shirts with Cara’s Flowers and Design logo embroidered on the left breast while lumbering about the yard moving soil and plants. This woman was dressed in cream slacks and a pink blouse—she looked rich. The blond was laughing, but it didn’t seem like it was an over flirty laugh.
Not even when the woman touched his arm did Zoe get a sense that she was trying to come on to him. The two knew each other somehow.
Slipping out of the dirty van, Zoe closed the door and slowly made her way over to Colton and the blond. Chuck, who was still rambling about some type of pesticide, followed her.
“Colt, I picked up your friend!” Chuck called when they were only a few feet away.
Colton turned around and waved at Zoe—he seemed pleased to see her, but she only received a little hug around the shoulders as a greeting. There was no gentle kiss; not even a peck on her cheek. His embrace was pithy, quick, and a bit cold, as if he hadn’t wanted to touch her at all. Zoe watched as he drew away from her completely while avoiding her eyes.
Not really sure of what she should do, Zoe turned to the blond who attention was on Zoe; the woman looked her up and down before smiling politely. The blond’s hazel eyes shifted to Colton and she laughed lightly and gestured for him to make some type of introduction.
Zoe couldn’t remember what Colton’s ex-fiancée looked like, but knew she was a beautiful blond woman. This person before her was just that. Up close Zoe could see that the woman was extremely beautiful with straight white teeth, clear creamy skin, perfect makeup, and platinum hair swept perfectly in place unaffected by the slight humidity of the Hamptons’ sea winds.
Zoe felt like a toad beside her.
“Colt aren’t you going to introduce—”
“Well, I’m here to be put to work,” Zoe interrupted the woman. Colton looked at her and smiled a strange smile that didn’t meet his eyes. Zoe suddenly realized that she didn’t want to be introduced to this woman—she’d rather ignore her completely. “What can I do?”
“Want me to take her to the back?” Chuck asked. “She could lay mulch.”
“Sure,” Colton said awkwardly. He briefly met Zoe’s eyes and smiled at her, this time she felt slightly reassured by it, but something was still off. “I’ll be right there.”
“Nah, take your time—she’s in good hands!” Chuck put his arm around Zoe’s shoulders and led her off quickly.
Zoe allowed Chuck to drag her around the huge mansion. She was so confused and distraught that she couldn’t even admire the beautiful home and gardens. Chuck seemed oblivious to how she was feeling and said nothing about who that woman was. Instead he talked about mulch and showed her much to lay down around the shrubs and bushes that lined one of the large gardens. Zoe put her tote bag behind a red cooler near the fence blocking off a large swimming pool, and got to work. She was happy to have something to do with her trembling hands. Chuck supervised her for a moment and then left to get back to his own work.
Zoe liked the solitude for only a moment and then felt incredibly lonely. She knew Colton had said that he was going to put her to work, but she thought that she’d be working with him, not for him. And she certainly hadn’t thought that there would be some blond woman—possibly Cara—captivating his attention. She had never expected Colton would be too embarrassed or hesitant to make proper introductions. The more Zoe thought about what had happened the worse she felt about the entire situation.
She set the seventh bag of mulch down and headed back for her bag. She found her cell phone and headed out into the yard to find a quiet spot to call Minnie. After a short walk, she found a large fountain in the center of the lavish back yard and sat down on the cool stone rim. She stared into the crystal water and stared at her reflection. She looked away after a moment and watched water spew from the puckered lips of a stone fish. Chuck was right—the stone fish really did complete the look of the fountain. Blinking away her tears, Zoe dialed Minnie’s number.
“Hey!” Minnie exclaimed after two rings. “I’ve been waiting for you to call me! How was your meeting?”
A solid lump formed in Zoe’s throat, “I think Cara’s back.”
“What!” Minnie cried. “Are you for real? Where are you?”
“I’m in the Hamptons—at some mansion,” Zoe answered. Tears stung her eyes. She tried to focus on something else so she wouldn’t start crying. “There’s a big fountain here.
Like the kind you see in English period flicks, a long rectangular thing in the middle of a garden. It’s lovely.” Again she touched the crystal water with the tips of her fingers.
“Minnie, I got here and he was talking to this beautiful blond woman, and he sort of ignored me. Min, he didn’t introduce me to her—and he didn’t look like he was eager to anyway. It was a very uncomfortable feeling; I feel like I should leave. God you were so right… everything you said this morning was right.”
Minnie sighed heavily.
“I’m so stupid Minnie, I really am.” Zoe whimpered. “I… I think I love him.”
“Oh, Zoe… don’t give up yet,” Minnie cried. “Colton cares for you, he really does.” Zoe didn’t miss the fact that Minnie didn’t say that Colton loved her back.
“I’m nothing compared to that blond woman, Min,” Zoe said bitterly. “I don’t know what to do from here. I could try to pretend that I don’t feel what I feel. I think I could do it and not give myself away. And maybe if I pretend hard enough it’ll be real and I won’t love him anymore. I don’t know Min—I think it may be better to call this all off and—”
“Zoe?” Colton’s voice made her jump so suddenly she lost her balance and pitched backwards. Colton ran forward and grabbed her arm, managing to stop her from falling into the fountain. But while he saved her from falling into the water, the same couldn’t be said about her cell phone, which flew from her finger tips and plopped into the water. The phone sank like a stone. Zoe quickly fished it out and wiped it against her shorts.
“Minnie?”
“Zoe?” Minnie’s crackled voice asked. Suddenly the call ended and Zoe’s phone froze.
“Crap!”
“Sorry,” Colton laughed. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” He sat down beside her on the fountain ledge and took her cell phone to examine it. She watched him remove the battery and shake water from the small device. “It probably just needs to dry out—I drop mine in water all the time. Sorry, Zoe.” Zoe shrugged her shoulder and sighed.
“It’s just a phone,” she stood and patted the wet circle on her backside. “And these are just shorts—they’ll both dry.” Colton gazed up at her. Zoe didn’t like the sad expression in his eyes so she turned away and waved her hand at the huge mansion. “You know this place is so beautiful.”
“Yeah,” Colton stood. “Look—Zoe….”
“Should I leave?” Zoe interrupted. It was hard lifting her eyes to Colton’s, but she did.
She tried to keep her emotions hidden, but it was difficult. All she wanted to do was ask him about the blond.
“I don’t want you to leave,” Colton said. “I have lunch waiting and I want to spend the rest of the day with you. And I don’t want you to put down mulch, that isn’t exactly what I had planned for you, just so you know. And I’m sorry about earlier…”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Zoe said automatically. “She has a lot of history with you, I know that.”
Colton frowned, “Who?”
“Cara,” Zoe gestured toward the house where Colton and the blond had been standing. “I know how much you love her and how difficult it’s been for you. I know you two probably have a lot to talk about.”
“That wasn’t Cara,” Colton said.
Zoe’s heart lurched.
“It was her sister Becky.”
Just as quickly as her heart had exploded, it sank in her chest. Zoe pressed her lips together, not sure of what she should say.
“I’m sorry I didn’t introduce or greet you properly, I was just a little overwhelmed,” Colton explained. “I haven’t seen Becky since the wedding and she just showed up out of the blue, it was strange. I didn’t really want to tell her everything about my life now, and that includes you. I’m not ashamed or anything… I care about you very much. I was just caught off guard.”
“I understand,” Zoe said trying her hardest to sound nonchalant and easy going. “I can understand you wanting privacy, Colton. And there’s not too much to tell her about us, really. We’re friends—maybe that’s all she needs to know.” Colton didn’t look too sure, but he didn’t comment. Instead he reached out and gently cupped her cheek in his hand, the rough pad of his thumb moved slowly over her lips and after a moment his mouth replaced his thumb.
Zoe leaned against him and tried not to enjoy herself too much, which was hard, especially when Colton moaned and pulled her close, his hand automatically moving over the wet spot on her bottom. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself to him. His kiss more than made up for the lack of a proper greeting earlier. As he drew back putting space between them, Zoe noticed a flash of pink out of the corner of her eye.
She turned her head and saw Becky, Cara’s sister standing only a few feet away. A shocked expression on the woman’s beautiful face.
“I… I’m sorry,” Becky stammered. “I didn’t mean to interrupt—I just wanted to give you my card, Colton,” she came forward quickly and thrust a business card at him. He took it and put it in his pocket. As he did, Becky’s attention turned to Zoe. “We haven’t been introduced,” Becky said as she extended her hand. “My name is Rebecca Imoora—an old friend of Colton’s.”
“Zoe Rayne,” Zoe said as she shook the woman’s hand, “a new friend of Colton’s.” Zoe could tell that Colton was embarrassed, and the blush to his cheeks wasn’t as endearing as she had always thought it to be. In fact, it was annoying.
Becky smiled hesitantly and then looked at Colton.
“Well, I’ve gotta run—I’m glad we ran into each other, Colton,” Becky said. “It’s been too long and I’m sorry for that.” Her apology was left hanging in open air. Colton shifted uncomfortably for a moment and then shrugged his shoulder.
“You have nothing to apologize for Becky,” he said. “It was nice seeing you also—take care of yourself.”
“I will…” Becky said before cutting a glance at Zoe. Her eyes returned to Colton’s and she stepped in to air kiss his left cheek, “You too, Colt.”
“I will.” Colton nodded and Becky turned and walked away. Colton sighed and looked back at Zoe. “She’s a party planner and was meeting with the owners to talk about a sweet sixteen party for their youngest daughter.”
Zoe didn’t know how she was supposed to respond.
“I guess it was bound to happen eventually—Cara and her family are from the Hamptons originally,” Colton explained. “Her parents actually live three houses down. I hate working here sometimes, but they’re good clients.”
He suddenly looked as if he was becoming frustrated and changed the subject dismissively. “Are you hungry?”
She wasn’t, but she nodded anyway and followed him along the path toward a small, white gazebo covered with crawling green ivy and surrounded by bright yellow daffodils.
It was a beautiful spot to view the stretching lawn and gardens that surrounded the estate.
Zoe set her phone in the sunlight and sat down on a bench. Colton put a medium-sized cooler between them and lifted the lid.
“This isn’t as lavish as I would have liked it to be, but I think it’ll work until I can take you out to dinner.” He took a sandwich out and handed it to her with a sheepish smile.
“Peanut butter and jelly— strawberry jelly!”
“The only way to make PB-and-J,” Zoe laughed. “Thanks.”
“And we have a delicious assortment of Pringles,” he pulled two canisters from the cooler and shook them at her, “and we have sodas, and for dessert, strawberry short cake.”
“Delicious,” Zoe murmured.
They ate in awkward silence for about ten minutes. Zoe had so many questions she wanted to ask Colton, but the longer they didn’t speak the more frustrated he seemed to become and she didn’t want to anger him. Still, she was suffering from internal turmoil and confusion, and she really wanted some clarity to the situation. So she braved his possible anger and asked the first question that was on her mind:
“Colton… do you think you’re over your ex?”
He opened a canister of Pringles and dumped a large stack into his palm. His brown eyes met hers and he stared at her for a moment before looking away.
“Some days yes and some days no,” he answered. Zoe tried to keep herself emotions in check when she really wanted to cry. “Some days I’m just so exhausted that I don’t want to think about anything at all. Some days I wonder if she’ll ever come back, and what I’d feel if and when she does. And some days I want to move on completely. I really don’t know what I’d feel. Cara’s my first love. You don’t ever forget your first love.” That was not something that Zoe really wanted to hear at that moment. “I understand.”
“I never got an explanation from Cara, Zoe,” Colton said. “I never had the closure I needed to really move on
. I don’t think I’m a good match for anyone until that happens—
including you, which makes this thing we’re doing really hard sometimes. I don’t want to hurt you and at the same time, I can’t let you go.”
Zoe tore off a small piece of her sandwich and chewed it slowly. She needed to tell him how she was really feeling, because if she didn’t things would only become more difficult. It was up to her to keep her own feelings in check—and that meant being truthful and then laying down some important rules.
“I think you should know that I’ve developed feelings for you.” She didn’t meet his gaze but she felt him staring at her. “Feelings that are stronger than friendship and maybe stronger than a basic crush. I just… Colton I can’t feel these things if you’re not open to them.”
“What are you telling me?” He asked.
“I’m not sure,” she lifted her eyes to his and felt some relief that he seemed distraught and perhaps fearful. “I think I’m telling you that until you figure things out I just want to be friends— only friends. The more I kiss you and the more you hold me the deeper I fall.
And then to be tossed aside like I was earlier—”
“I’m sorry,” Colton said earnestly. “I really am—that wasn’t my intention.”
“I know,” Zoe said. She tried to be as reassuring as possible, but wasn’t sure if it was coming off that way. “I know that wasn’t your intention, but that’s how I felt. I’m confused by all of this Colton and I know that we—I mean I—didn’t start this to fall in…
to fall….” Her voice trailed off. Colton moved the cooler and slid closer to her. He tried to hold her, but she shrugged back. “We can’t hug anymore.”
“Zoe!” he exclaimed with a laugh. “Come on that’s ridiculous. Friends hug all the time.”
“No… I’m getting in over my head,” she said quickly. “We can be friends, Colton, best friends even—but not friends who kiss and cuddle—or hug—periodically. It’s confusing me.”
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