Minnie frowned with uncertainty.
“I don’t want to date any more Philips men either, keep your stupid brother Preston away from me. And Colton can jump off a—” her cell phone rang at that exact moment and she knew it was him because she’d programmed his number with a special tone. Zoe took her new phone out of her purse and showed Minnie that Colton had sent her a text message.
“I told him not to call me,” Zoe whispered. “I didn’t say that he couldn’t text message—
what do I do?”
“See what it says,” Minnie murmured.
Zoe sighed and accessed the text message.
You didn’t say anything about texting. I want to be friends, Z. I shouldn’t send this, I know, but I just wanted to say goodnight, and thank you. Thanks for everything. -
C
“What’s that mean?” Zoe whispered. “Is he saying goodbye?”
“He’s being manipulative,” Minnie growled. “Tell him not to text message you anymore.”
“Manipulative?” Zoe asked. Her brain was starting to feel like slosh and her stomach was rebelling against the strawberry sauce.
“Yes!” Minnie exclaimed. “He probably doesn’t realize it, but he’s making you cling with these messages! Just send him the message and I promise I’ll get you a date for tomorrow night.”
Minnie returned to her side of the table and continued to eat her now-cold omelet. Zoe watched her for some time, and pretended to text Colton back.
“Don’t text me, jerk,” she read aloud while glancing at Minnie who was frowning at her.
Zoe smiled sweetly and lowered the phone to her lap. She didn’t want to send such a message and never hear from him again. She needed him. Zoe thought for a minute and then carefully thanked him for the phone and said goodnight. When the message was sent she turned off her phone and put it back into her purse. “That’ll teach him.”
“Yeah, right,” Minnie scoffed. “I see right through you, you know.” Zoe ate more of her pancakes and watched the trucker with the piercing blue eyes. He licked his lips as he stared at her, which forced Zoe to look away.
“You can’t let Colton get away with being manipulative, Zo,” Minnie scolded. “He’s not evil by heart—like Preston—but it’s still manipulative and wrong for him to string you along.”
It was wrong for him to be manipulative in any way, Zoe agreed, but she didn’t really see the situation as being manipulative. Instead she saw it as a desperate attempt to keep her in his life, and she liked that. She liked feeling special and needed. Since he was so adamant about remaining friends, perhaps there was a little hope there. Hope that he’d shock them all and choose her over Cara.
Zoe wanted to hold onto that dream for just a little while longer.
“Who are you going to set me up with?” she asked. Minnie thought about it for a while and when she didn’t answer right away Zoe began to fret. “Someone else will be interested, right?”
“Of course, Zoe,” Minnie hissed glancing around again. “Please stop shouting, and stop it with the boobs.”
Zoe glanced down at her chest, thrust forward somewhat unnaturally, and slouched over her plate and shoveled the remaining syrupy glob into her mouth. “That’s fine; it hurts my back to hold my boobs out like that.”
Minnie laughed and shook her head. “You’re so drunk, Zoe.”
“Will you set me up?”
Minnie looked hesitant, but nodded. Zoe smiled and looked up at their waitress who had stopped beside their table to check on them.
“More pancakes please,” Zoe hummed.
“You sure about that?” Minnie asked after the woman took Zoe’s empty plate away.
“Absolutely not,” Zoe answered. “But I have to do something or I’m going to start crying.”
“Why don’t we talk about kind of man you want to try out next?” Minnie asked. “And skip the pancakes—you’re going to be sick, Zoe, you look green as it is.”
“I tell you exactly what I want,” Zoe said seriously. “I want Colton and no one else is really going to do.”
Minnie smiled sadly and Zoe, despite her best effort not to, began to cry. When the waitress set the fresh stack of pancakes down in front of Zoe, she picked up the strawberry syrup and let it pour free. Minnie sighed and asked the waitress for the check.
It was going to be a long, long night.
--
Lesson Thirteen: “It hurts when you get knocked off the horse. It’s okay to avoid
riding again, but if you do decide to give it another go, don’t be afraid to try a different
saddle.”
Zoe was beginning to look like her imagination’s representation of Bloody Mary. Her nose and eyes were red from an evening and morning filled with endless sobbing, her skin was ashen and devoid of all life, her lips were slightly chapped, her expression seemed sunken and dead, and her hair lay limply against her cheeks. She had a hard time staring at herself in the mirror; she was a pathetic wreck. Pushing her hair back and twisting a band to pull it back into a pony tail, Zoe splashed cool water on her face. She had tried her hardest not to get too worked up over Cara’s return, but it was impossible not to think the worse when she’d seen the way he looked at her. Zoe knew that Colton was still in love with his ex by the way he looked at Cara last night. It was the look of a man in love, and she knew what one looked like because she gave him very similar looks.
Zoe was so positively in love with Colton. She felt like she did back in high school after learning her crush had slept with the bug-eyed, mousy-brown, greasy haired girl—
devastated. Feeling that way seemed ridiculous considering the fact that she wasn’t in high school anymore and should be more mature, and Colton hadn’t completely given her up for Cara yet. He had yet to tell her that he was going back to his ex—there was still hope.
It just seemed so inevitable! He had history with Cara, and according to Minnie, before Cara left him on the altar she and Colton had the perfect relationship. For four years, they rarely fought and were never on-again-off-again like some long-term couples Zoe knew; they were very much in love, Minnie said. She was also pretty sure that Colton would hear Cara out and then give her a second chance if she asked for it. Learning this from Minnie, Zoe had sobbed so hard she gave herself a migraine, which had only just dimmed to an annoying throb in the center of her brain.
Splashing more cold water to her cheeks, Zoe dried off with a damp hand towel and then brought her eyes back to the mirror. She didn’t look much better. In fact, it was becoming difficult to stare at her reflection. A throb in her temples was starting to grow, so she stepped out of the bathroom, fully intending on returning to her bed and her tear stained pillow. However, the sound of Paige’s voice brought her into the living room. It was one thirty in the afternoon, Paige should have been in her choir class, but she was sitting on the sofa with Minnie. Their heads pressed together as they whispered.
“Maybe we should throw them away?” Paige asked. “She doesn’t need to know that he sent her presents. These flowers are too beautiful, she’s just going to fall deeper in love and we can’t have that.”
“I know,” Minnie said sadly.
Curious, Zoe walked into the living room and came around the side of the couch. She noticed the flowers on the coffee table first, a beautiful bouquet of stargazer lilies and white tulips, and then she noticed the oddly wrapped box with a little white card on it.
Without asking questions she climbed over Minnie’s lap and then sat down between them on the sofa. Paige instantly wound her little arms around Zoe’s waist and hugged her tightly. The embrace was almost enough to start Zoe crying again, but she didn’t. She laid her cheek against the top of Paige’s spiky head and closed her eyes momentarily.
“I’m not going to ask why you’re not in school.” Zoe said as she picked up the flowers with trembling hands. “You saw Colton?”
“Yes,” Paige nodded. “I had to pass by there to get to the subway to come her
e.” Zoe stared at the beautiful blooms, “No you didn’t,” she murmured as she brought the flowers to her nose and inhaled the wonderful floral scent. They really were beautiful flowers—the prettiest yet. “You didn’t have to go there at all… you should be in school right now.”
“Not when one of my best friends in the whole world needs me,” Paige said as she rubbed her cheek against Zoe’s shoulder. Her arms, though slender and lacking muscle, managed to squeeze Zoe to the point where she felt pain.
“These are from him?” Zoe asked as she picked up the gift. She removed the small card first and opened it. Minnie and Paige leaned in to read over her shoulder.
Z, sorry about your phone—I bought you this one to replace it. I’m going to figure this out, I promise. Call you soon, -C.
Zoe handed the card to Paige, who held it close to her face for closer inspection, and then tore the wrapping paper off the box in her lap. Minnie was the first to gasp in shock.
Zoe’s own mouth fell open in amazement when she realized that Colton had bought her an expensive iphone from AT&T and Apple. She was dumbfounded that he’d actually bought her a four hundred dollar phone.
“Oh, wow,” Minnie whispered. “Colton bought you this?”
“I told him I wanted one,” Zoe answered as Minnie picked up the box for closer examination. “We were on the phone… it was late… I was just talking. I can’t keep this.”
“Why not?” Minnie cried. “You should milk him for everything he’s worth! The scum bag!”
“It’s too expensive,” Zoe answered as she lifted the flowers to her face. “He’s not a scum bag, Min, he’s just… he’s not. I’ll have to take it back to him—he wasn’t thinking when he bought it.”
“Or maybe he was thinking,” Paige said when she got her turn to look at the box. “It means he listens to you, even during sleepy late night chats. He cares about what you say.”
“The jerk,” Minnie grumbled. Zoe smiled sadly at her friend and then turned back to Paige.
“Can I open it?”
Zoe hesitated for a moment then nodded. “Sure,” Zoe stood clutching the flowers to her chest. “Play all you want, but I’m taking it back to him today. So try not to break it.” She climbed over Minnie’s legs and headed into the kitchen to put her flowers in water.
Brushing tears from her cheeks, Zoe stood on her tip toes and took a vase down from the cupboard. She rinsed it out and then left it under the tap to fill. The sound of the water drowned out the soft whimpers Zoe made involuntary. She was so tired of crying, but any little thing brought a new force of tears. It wasn’t long before Minnie joined her in the kitchen. Her friend stood silently at her side while Zoe collected herself. With a shaky sigh, Zoe unwrapped the flowers and placed them in the water. Zoe wiped her tears on her shoulder and took a breath deep enough to burn her lungs.
“They’re beautiful, huh?”
“Yes,” Minnie agreed. “I’m sorry he sent them.”
Zoe laughed and nodded. “He doesn’t get how every little thing only makes me love him more, and I hate that I love him. It makes me feel so weak, Min. I’ve never been the kinda girl who falls head-over-heels in love with a guy who’s not available in the first place! It’s like loving someone already married. I saw her standing there and I suddenly felt like I was the other woman. I don’t ever want to have an affair with a married man, Min!” Zoe was crying in earnest despite all of her best efforts not to shed any more tears for Colton; it was a hopeless pursuit.
“Colton’s not married,” Minnie said reassuringly. “And he doesn’t consider himself married to her either—he just needs closure.”
“Yeah,” Zoe sighed and used the bottom of her t-shirt to dry her tears. “And when he chooses her? What then, Minnie? Where’s my closure?”
“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Minnie said. “So what if Cara’s back? It doesn’t matter. I’ve seen how my brother looks at you and…”
“And how did he look at her for four years, Min?” Zoe demanded. “Did he stare at her with the same desire and longing? With the same—intensity? Please, don’t get my hopes up, okay? I’m going to get the closure I need today when I take that phone back to him and tell him that we can’t be friends anymore.” She carried her flowers into the living room and set them on the coffee table. She then sat down beside Paige who was staring at the iphone in awe. The more she watched Paige explore the phone, the more Zoe realized that she wanted to keep it. She finally looked away and sighed. “I’m going to take it back, I have to—I have to do it this afternoon.”
“Are you sure?” Paige asked after a moment. “It’s pretty neat, Zoe. Look, you just have to touch the screen!”
Zoe glanced at the sleek and slender phone and nodded although she was unsure. If anything, taking the phone back would give her the chance to see Colton again, and that’s all she really wanted.
Zoe arrived at Colton’s shop just after six thirty, a half hour before closing. For ten minutes she stood on the sidewalk outside the large picture window and watched Jamie as she worked behind the counter. She felt foolish for not going inside, but Zoe couldn’t convince her feet to move. She stared at the flowers arranged prettily in the front window, framed just enticingly enough to draw someone inside. Zoe would have gone inside, but the large swooping “Cara” in the Cara’s Flowers and Design sign etched on the glass window stopped her. It was a subtle, yet in-your-face reminder of what she was up against. Cara was beyond beautiful—the woman was all legs with amazing blond hair, slender, and had supermodel beauty. Zoe couldn’t compete with that. She had a hard time figuring out why Colton had been so physically drawn to her when his ex was the perfect woman.
She should have never agreed to date him. It was all so silly, all so stupid—a starter boyfriend! What was she thinking?
“Zoe?”
Jumping at the sound of her name, Zoe turned toward the open door where Jamie was leaning out. The women smiled at the awkward situation that they found themselves in.
Jamie held the door to the shop open a little wider, her smile pleasant, inviting, and perhaps a little uncomfortable. Zoe hesitantly stepped into the shop, uncertain of what she was really doing there in the first place.
“I saw you standing out there, we’re still open,” Jamie said as she returned to her spot behind the counter. She was working on a small flower arrangement and continued trimming flowers for it. Zoe walked around aimlessly for about five minutes before she approached Jamie’s counter.
“Is… Colton here?”
“Yes, he’s in the back,” Jamie said. There was an awkward pause between them both before Jamie pointed to the closed door. “Um… he’s alone.” Zoe felt a tension in her chest release, but she was still uncertain if she should go back there or have Jamie bring him up front. She wasn’t sure if putting herself in a space alone with Colton was wise or not, especially after what had almost happened last night. The memory of his hands all over her body, touching her in places she’d never—no… she wasn’t going to think about that now. That was over and wouldn’t happen again.
Hesitant and uncomfortable, Zoe smiled at Jamie before stepping through the door and into Colton’s storage room. He wasn’t there. As she walked slowly to the next door, which was cracked open only slightly, her chest tightened uncomfortably again. She stopped just before the door and craned her ear to listen. She could hear him working, the sound of tools hitting his work bench, the scrape of his chair and the shuffle of his feet as he moved around. She jumped back as his shadow passed by the opening of the door and pressed her palm to her chest. Her heart raced, her chest burned, and for a moment Zoe considered running away. She nearly did too, but managed to get a grip on her emotions and her mind.
Colton wasn’t a scary monster after all; he was just the man she loved. Certainly she could confront him and be able to control herself, unlike last night.
Holding her breath, she pushed against the door and stuck her head in. Colton was pulling vases fr
om the shelves; his back to her. He was wearing jeans, boots, and a polo shirt. His hair seemed longer than she remembered; the ends curled up and brushed lightly against the collar of his shirt. He turned just as her eyes had traveled down his back and stopped at his butt. Zoe exhaled sharply and Colton started at her sudden presence and dropped a vase. The sound of shattering glass echoed between them. They stood frozen and stared at one another as if they were complete strangers.
“Hi,” Zoe said quickly.
“Zoe,” He whispered, “H-hi.”
He stared at her for a moment and then hurried across the room to put the vases on his work bench. They rattled together as he set them down rather hard. He turned slowly, stared at her, and then came forward. Zoe froze as his long stride carried him to her in only a few steps. She wanted to step away form him or tell him not to hug her, but before she could his arms, long and rippled with muscles, wound around her shoulders as he tugged her firmly to his chest. She felt his lips in her hair as he squeezed her before stepping back. She closed her eyes as his hands moving up her arms, over her shoulder, and up her neck to cup her cheeks. She opened her eyes and stared up at him. The heat in his gaze made her body ache, and the moment his mouth descended on hers, Zoe came to her senses and jerked back.
The pain on his face was obvious. His eyes narrowed and his lower lip pouted out slightly; his finger brushed over her lower lip and his hands slowly fell away. He looked sad and hurt. Zoe felt an enormous swell of guilt and felt herself reach out to him. She hated that she had hurt him in anyway, but she couldn’t allow him to kiss her anymore.
Not then, anyway.
“You’re right,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re right.” He turned away, running his fingers through his hair. He paced a few steps while he rubbed his face, and when he returned to her side, he took her hand in his. It was an innocent enough touch; his fingers were warm and held her gently as he pulled her toward the small cubicle work space. He drew her forward and pulled out his large desk chair. He held her hand until she sat down and then pulled an uncomfortable looking folding chair forward for him to sit in. Zoe clasped her hands together and set them in her lap; she bit her lower lip as Colton’s fingers moved over hers and held them.
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