“Who are you going to set me up with?” she asked. Minnie thought about it for a while and when she didn’t answer right away Zoe began to fret. “Someone else will be interested, right?”
“Of course, Zoe,” Minnie hissed glancing around again. “Please stop shouting, and stop it with the boobs.”
Zoe glanced down at her chest, thrust forward somewhat unnaturally, and slouched over her plate and shoveled the remaining syrupy glob into her mouth. “That’s fine; it hurts my back to hold my boobs out like that.”
Minnie laughed and shook her head. “You’re so drunk, Zoe.”
“Will you set me up?”
Minnie looked hesitant, but nodded. Zoe smiled and looked up at their waitress who had stopped beside their table to check on them.
“More pancakes please,” Zoe hummed.
“You sure about that?” Minnie asked after the woman took Zoe’s empty plate away.
“Absolutely not,” Zoe answered. “But I have to do something or I’m going to start crying.”
“Why don’t we talk about kind of man you want to try out next?” Minnie asked. “And skip the pancakes—you’re going to be sick, Zoe, you look green as it is.”
“I tell you exactly what I want,” Zoe said seriously. “I want Colton and no one else is really going to do.”
Minnie smiled sadly and Zoe, despite her best effort not to, began to cry. When the waitress set the fresh stack of pancakes down in front of Zoe, she picked up the strawberry syrup and let it pour free. Minnie sighed and asked the waitress for the check.
It was going to be a long, long night.
--
Lesson Fourteen: “Making choices is difficult for even the bravest of men. Listen not
only to your heart but the signs around you and you'll make the right choice.”
Colton felt like he’d been punched in the chest, which was exactly the feeling he supposed his sister intended after asking him if it was okay if she set Zoe up with one of his workers. Chuck maybe, she said. Colton was standing in the lobby of the Hilton, waiting for Cara to come down from her room so they could have dinner. He was ready to hear her explanations; ready to move on. Colton had been wound up with nerves all afternoon and it had only gotten worse since he answered Minnie’s call. Now he was panicked. He didn’t understand why Zoe was taking this avoidance thing so far. Sure they weren’t an official couple, and she could see other people, he just didn’t want her to.
Zoe’s desperate need to get away from him was off putting and made him feel sick to his stomach.
Staring at nothing in particular, he listened to the silence in his ear. Minnie was still waiting for his approval for her to set Zoe up with Chuck. Chuck of all people! Had Chuck expressed interest, he wondered. Colton hadn’t paid much attention to his worker’s behavior around Zoe because his mind had been spinning from Becky’s sudden appearance. It was possible that Zoe was his type. Zoe was beautiful—she was probably many guys’ type. Colton didn’t care how long he and Chuck had been friends or how good a worker Chuck was. If he had a thing for Zoe, he was going to be fired. Colton was growing irritated just thinking about Chuck and Zoe together.
“Why are you trying to set her up with anyone?” Colton couldn’t hide his displeasure any longer. He began to pace; his hand formed into a fist, squeezing so tightly his nails cut into his palm. “Did she ask to be set up or are you just assuming she needs the help?”
“She did ask actually,” Minnie answered with calm indifference. “She was drunk at the time, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. I think it’ll be good for her to…”
“No,” Colton snapped. “You cannot set her up with Chuck or anyone else for that matter, Minnie. I don’t want Zoe dating anyone.”
Her laugh tickled his ear, “Look, she’s not going to sit on a shelf while you figure out what you want—you two were never exclusive, right? You just felt her up and gave her ideas.” Colton felt his face heat and it wasn’t because he was angry. He shifted back and forth and tried to resist the urge to bolt out of the hotel, run to Zoe’s door, and rip her out of the arms of another man. “She’s free to date other people, you know.” He clenched his teeth. “Why does everyone assume that I’m going to give Cara a second chance, Minerva?”
“Look, bastard, don’t take it out on me!” Minnie shouted in his ear. “Don’t call me that either. You can’t have things both ways. I just thought you could give me a heads up on some friends of yours that may be Zoe’s type. Plus….” Colton hung up and put his phone into his jacket pocket. He wasn’t going to listen to Minnie or answer any more of her questions; he needed to focus on his meeting with Cara. He didn’t want to think about Zoe dating anyone else. He hated that both Minnie and Zoe—and Paige for that matter—all thought he’d automatically go back to Cara. He had no intention of doing anything like that—he was just having dinner with her to hear her explanation. Not to sweep her into his arms and get her down the isle as fast as he could. However, Colton wasn’t going to say that he didn’t have feelings for Cara. He did.
They had too much history for him to feel absolutely nothing for her, but it wasn’t the same type of feeling he’d had before. It would probably never be the same.
He met Cara as a junior in college when they were both studying horticulture at NYU.
She was the prettiest girl in his classes, was extremely popular, and was dating one of the school’s star lacrosse players. As a self appointed plant nerd, with little fashion sense and little cares for dating or women, Colton hadn’t really stood a chance with her. Cara was the only girl in college to truly captivate him, pulling him away from plants. He found himself watching her whenever they were in the same room together. She told him later that she had noticed him too; said he had amazing eyes, which she found sexy. Things didn’t blossom between them for another year. Colton returned to school after an extremely strenuous summer internship working for a world-renowned landscaper in Florida. The physical labor of the job helped him drop a few pounds and gain muscle and the Florida sun had bronzed his skin, all of which Cara was attracted to. Their relationship began slowly, and soon they were inseparable. Cara broke up with the athlete and Colton asked her on a date the following week. The rest—as they say—was history.
Their relationship grew stronger over the years. They complimented each other well and fell in love quickly. Their only obstacle had been with her family, who hadn’t quite approved one of their own, an Imoora daughter, falling in love with a lowly, fresh-out-of-college, no-name landscaper. Cara was destined for great things and a big marriage, according to her mother. Mr. and Mrs. Imoora had hoped that Cara would marry a pro-athlete or a doctor. It sounded very superficial, and it was, but Colton quickly learned that such demands and high expectations weren’t rare in the high-society circles the Imooras traveled. Colton hated how cliché it was, but he put up with her family because he loved Cara deeply. He loved her adventurous spirit, her joy and excitement over small things, and the way she could assert herself in high pressure situations. He loved how she was the prettiest girl in the room and only seemed to have eyes for him.
After he graduated with his master’s degree, they hadn’t thought twice about going into business together. The place had been Cara’s dream and Colton was happy to give it to her. He worked hard to give her everything she needed and started his side of the business when he was sure she hers was settled, which, thanks to her mother, had taken a matter of months. He hadn’t expected much for his side of the operation, just a few clients here and there, but to his amazement, his clientele expanded quickly. With the new clients, which Cara’s mother took credit for yet again, he started to focus less on Cara’s floral designs and more on his landscaping.
At the time, the switch hadn’t seemed to bother her. She’d always liked being the center of attention, but was usually graceful enough to let someone else shine in the light when it was their turn. After being left at the altar, Colton wasn’t so sure. He’d spent a lot of t
ime thinking about that over the past several months. The year leading up to their wedding had been a difficult one because Colton was working all the time, trying to build up a clientele that didn’t have the Imoora name slathered all over it. Cara’s mother had been insulted by his hard work and called him selfish; he’d even lost a few clients in the process. There had been many relationship fires along the way, but he proposed to her on a trip to Maui and figured the wedding preparations would give Cara and her mother the attention they needed while leaving him be to work.
He didn’t completely abandon her during his business pursuits either. He was there for cake testing, there for benefit fundraisers her mother threw, there to help her with her clients, and there to help her move into the new house he had bought for her. He was always there for Cara, which was why he didn’t understand why she had left him. Why she felt the need to grace the society pages of the Sun and Times as the season’s runaway bride.
Colton’s cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and glanced at the caller ID—
Minnie. He slipped the phone back into his pocket and shook his head with disgust. No way was he going to talk to Minnie now.
“Hi, Colt.”
Colton turned slowly and returned Cara’s easy and familiar smile. She looked immaculate, as always, wearing a green wrap-dress that stopped just above her knees and hugged every swell and curve of her body. She wore a gold chain around her neck; hanging from, dipping between her breasts was a jade jewel that he’d given her in college. Colton hated himself for noticing that the charm was nestled between the curves of her breasts, but he was a man and there was no way that he wouldn’t notice. She wore burgundy heels that matched her small hand bag. It had only been eleven months since he’d last seen her and yet nothing seemed to have changed. She still wore her hair the same way, still wore the same color blush and did her eye makeup the same, and was still remarkably beautiful. He couldn’t help the quickening beat of his heart or his suddenly sweaty palms.
Cara approached him awkwardly, as if she didn’t know if she should hug or kiss him. He stiffened when she was only a few feet from him; she didn’t have to stand up on her toes to press a warm kiss to his jaw. Her hand ran down the length of his arm and her fingers gently squeezed his.
“Thanks for meeting me.”
Colton nodded once and when she let go of his hand, he slipped it into his pocket. Cara smiled again and took a stepped back. The expression in her eyes seemed almost pained and for a moment Colton feared that she would start crying. He hated when she cried—
really hated it. There wasn’t one time in their whole relationship that he’d believed her sad tears to be genuine. He’d seen her cry all too much to get something she wanted from her father or uncles, and even him a few times. Cara’s tears meant something entirely different than sadness or joy; it was hard to determine when they were real. She touched his arm again and then pointed toward the foyer of the restaurant located to their left.
Colton didn’t offer her his arm as they started walking. Cara glanced up at him curiously but didn’t say anything—she was used to him offering his arm.
They were seated right away in a quiet corner where only a few other couples were seated. He also noticed a large bottle of champagne cooling on ice. That particular drink didn’t seem at all appropriate for a simple dinner. They weren’t celebrating anything. As their waitress pulled the bottle off ice and began to pour, Colton opened his mouth to tell her not to, which was when Cara interrupted and said two glasses would be fine. Colton rubbed his jaw and took the menu from the waitress. He might have snatched it out of her hand, he wasn’t sure. He’d been counting to twenty in his head to keep himself calm; perhaps he’d taken out his mixed emotions on their waitress. Colton focused on the words on the menu, barely listening as they were told the evening’s specials.
He didn’t want to eat; he just wanted to hear what Cara had to say and move on with his life.
“I’m actually trying to be a vegetarian now,” Cara said after the waitress was gone. She looked down at her menu and not at Colton. He stared at her with shock and uncertainty.
A vegetarian? This coming from a girl who had insisted on having a steak appetizer at their wedding? He didn’t believe it, not for one bit. Cara never lifted her eyes from her menu or she would have seen his look of doubt. “I make exceptions of course—eggs and dairy. I thought vegetarianism would be sort of blah, but my friend really turned me on to it in Paris.”
Colton wondered if this friend was the architect she supposedly worked with. He felt a flare of anger and perhaps jealousy wash over him, which only made him angrier. Why should he feel jealous of her new boyfriends? He shouldn’t care at all, but he did. He stared at her over the top of the menu she was hiding behind. He could tell she was nervous by the way she nibbled on the corner of her perfectly glossed lower lip. She must have sensed that he was staring because her green eyes flickered up to his. Her forehead crinkled with worry lines as she set her menu down.
“Aren’t you hungry?” She asked.
“Do you honestly expect me to sit through a meal?” he countered. Cara was silent for a long time before she sat back in her chair, her green eyes sparkling with tears.
“You… can’t even stand to be in my presence for an hour or so?” He didn’t miss the look of pain in her eyes. This time he opened his menu and buried his eyes in it. “I don’t blame you one bit, Colton, I barely want to sit with myself most days.”
“I didn’t say that, Cara,” Colton finally said. “I just don’t want to sit around for an hour pretending to be right back where we left off. I’d rather not pretend.”
“I don’t want to pretend either,” she said in a small voice. “I just… I don’t know how to even begin to apologize for what I’ve done, Colton.”
Her heard her voice tremble and turned the page in his menu. He wasn’t going to acknowledge her tears or show her that they’d had any effect on him. And they did have an effect on him, they always had. Guilt, worry, and an overwhelming need to fix things were only a few of the feelings he felt when she cried. Colton stayed behind his menu and as far as he knew, she stayed behind hers. Soon they had ordered and there was nothing left to hide their faces or to keep them from talking. Colton leaned back in his chair. A few glasses of champagne warmed him up and made him feel less tense and more willing to listen to whatever she had to say. Colton was glad that she’d pre-ordered the drink, though it still felt a little too celebratory—he would have preferred a hard scotch or whisky. Sipping the bubbly liquid, he watched her openly, knowing that his gaze made her uncomfortable. Cara smiled little smiles that were borderline flirtatious while she sipped champagne demurely. Every time she lifted her glass he noticed her engagement ring, the diamonds flashing. It wasn’t the first ring he’d given her—they’d gone through four engagement rings before she settled on one that she liked.
“So?” He sighed.
“I don’t know what to say,” she laughed after a moment of silence. “Everything that’s on the tip of my tongue seems so trite. It doesn’t seem like enough.”
“Just say it, Cara.”
“Fine,” she sighed, “It was me—it wasn’t you.” Colton leaned forward and raised an eyebrow; she laughed again. He suddenly remembered how pretty she looked when she was embarrassed. “I told you it wasn’t original, Colt. But it is the truth. I… woke up the morning of our wedding with this crushing fear and uncertainty. I was petrified of marrying you. I knew that I would be happy—in the long run—but all I could think about was the present. All I saw was months and months of you working 15 hours days to build up your business—I saw that mine wasn’t enough to make you happy. I started to worry that maybe I didn’t make you happy.
“I was scared that we wouldn’t travel like we said we would, that the business would take over everything, and… and I wasn’t sure that I was ready to be married. To anyone. I didn’t want to marry you and then feel resentful that I didn’t have
the freedom of being single anymore. I didn’t think that would be fair to you.”
“So, you thought you’d leave me on our wedding day?” Colton asked keeping his voice flat and void of the emotion that was bubbling up inside of him. “You thought that was a fairer, gentler alternative?”
“No,” she whispered. “It was selfish and hateful.”
“At least we agree on one thing,” Colton said. “You know the rest is crap, Cara. I was always there for you. If you asked me to leave work, I did. You asked me to do things, I did them. I was there for you 100 percent, we both know that. If you’d told me that you needed more time….”
She looked down at her hands and began to twist her ring around. “I know.”
“Then let’s cut the shit and get honest—I know you well enough to know that you’re avoiding things. Was there someone else?”
He saw her eyes flicker and knew that there had been. He felt overwhelmed with sadness.
The idea that she had found someone new only entered his mind a few times in the past; he’d always dismissed it as something else. He would have never believed that she cheated on him; they’d had a very honest relationship for so many years. They’d always promised one another that if someone new were to enter the picture they’d be upfront about it. Work things out if they could, or end things if they had to.
“There was the possibility of someone else,” Cara said softly, “the possibility that maybe you and I weren’t right for each other. I’d only dated a few men before you and I suppose I freaked out a little that I was marrying you forever. I was scared that maybe we were making a mistake getting married. I was so consumed by this fear that I ran away. I didn’t run to see if I’d fall in love with someone else, I ran because I wasn’t ready to be married.
“Colton, have you ever wondered if maybe you were meant to be with someone else?” His mind had been thinking about Zoe from the moment she mentioned the possibility that she and they weren’t right for one another. He thought about Zoe’s laugh and the shy way she smiled at him as her cheeks flushed with blood. The way she made him feel—
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