by Julia Donner
“Will I? Whatever should I do if I should learn on my wedding night that my lovely bride has duped me? It would be too late, would it not? Cassandra would have her husband, be my countess, and I would stand cuckolded in the bargain.”
Cassandra felt the false energy of defensive anger drain from her body; guilt and shame rushed in to take its place. What was there to say? How could she ever get him to trust her if she told him about Billy Hempstead? That lecherous, spotty-faced swine ruined her and never looked back. The injustice made her yearn to strike out and rant. Outrage, swift and thrilling, came to her defense.
“You are base beyond belief to suggest I would stoop to such tactics!”
“Nevertheless, that particular tactic has been used before with success.”
Tears stung her eyes. She longed to snatch up his crop and teach him a lesson for insulting her. Damn Billy and damn her wretched, childish trust, and damn her youthful ignorance!
Emotion closed up her throat. She couldn’t see through her own passion and his closed, blank expression. She hated that she feared what he was thinking She despised the hoarse and shaky sound of her voice when she salvaged what was left of her pride by standing up to his insult.
“My lord, do you really think that you have been the only man of consequence to offer for me since my come out? Are you such an idiot that you do not realize that I have refused as many as wealthy as you are and of equal rank? You are indeed swollen with conceit to suppose yourself so prime a catch that I should hang out in wait for you since my first Season!”
“Fine words, Cass, but you wouldn’t be the first to enjoy a lover while waiting to marry well.”
She could no longer contain the hurt nor stop the expression when her face twisted from despair. Tears fell unchecked as the words that needed to be said came out in a rush, the secret wrenched from her soul.
“I’ll tell you the truth, if it’s truth you want, and I can assure you that when it happened it wasn’t all that enjoyable!”
A sob choked off her words. She pressed the back of her wrist to her mouth to control the sound and clenched a fist to grapple with emotions shoving to be freed. Her courage returned when she saw through her tears that her lack of control washed away Ravenswold’s scorn. Stricken, he took a step toward her.
“Cass, what—”
“Be quiet! You asked, and now you’ll listen. I was ten years old when I allowed myself to be coaxed by a neighbor boy. He was fourteen and too big to stop. It was over before I knew what he was going to do, and even afterward, I had no idea. I thought the—the blood came from a scratch. Or something. So, I’m not a virgin.”
Cassandra stood straight with her hands fisted by her sides, prepared for his reaction and grateful for the relief of speaking the truth. Her frame shook from suppressed sobs while she waited for his rejection. And worse, his contempt. She clenched her teeth and refused to cry another tear over the matter but couldn’t stop the quick hiccough for air. He left the fence and came to stand in front of her but not too near. It seemed to take forever for him to speak. When he did, she was startled by his question.
“You didn’t track him down after you learned to shoot?”
She accepted the handkerchief he offered and tucked it into a pocket when she finished. Even though calmer, her voice sounded rough and congested. “I looked for him after I learned how to use a whip, but by then it was too late.”
“Your father had already avenged your honor?”
“I never told my parents. I do not signify the event by speaking of it. The incident will remain a secret.”
“Do you mean that I am going to be deprived of the pleasure of making him suffer for what he did to you?”
Cassandra heaved a shaky sigh. “He’s dead.”
“Dead. Damn it all. What was the bastard’s name?”
“Give over, Ravenswold. It’s the past and done.”
“His name, Cass!”
She wearily supplied it. “Hempstead. Billy Hempstead. He killed himself over gaming debts before he reached his majority. Stuck a pistol in his mouth.”
The silence was long and awkward. Cassandra longed for a nap, anything to get away from the agony of hearing him retract his offer of marriage. Her lowered, tired gaze felt permanently fixed on the sunlight sparkling on the drying grass. Birdcall filled the air as she waited for the inevitable—for his polite disdain.
But he placed gentle hands on her shoulders. Closing her eyes to savor the comforting weight, she readied herself for something as bad as his scorn—his pity. When they started to speak at the same time, she stopped and waited for him.
“Cass, I hope you’ll understand what I’m about to say. Won’t you look at me? That’s better. Now listen carefully. I believe you, and to be perfectly honest, I’m glad in an odd sort of way. Not glad that it happened, but I’m happy that it hasn’t left you scarred inside.”
She searched his solemn expression. “How can you know that, Rave?”
“Through your actions. You would be frightened of me and other men, and you’re not. If I’m not mistaken, you think us inferior creatures, which may be true, but we’ll save that argument for another day.”
She sniffed. “Of course men are inferior.”
“That’s my girl! So, you will still marry me? No crying off?”
Hope stirred and unfurled. “Ravenswold, are you sure?”
He hesitated. An odd light moved behind his eyes that put her on her guard. Wary, she asked, “What is it?”
“Cass, since we are being truthful, I think I should tell you that I’m not all that disappointed about you not being a virgin.”
Everything inside her became dangerously still. “Why is that?”
“To be honest, I have never been with one, and I’ve heard wedding nights are a dreadful nuisance.”
“You beast!”
He ducked in time to miss her flying fist. He threw an arm around her waist, and she began to kick wildly. When she connected with his shins, he lifted her off the ground. Since she couldn’t use her boots to advantage, she beat on his shoulders, which hurt her hands, so she pulled his hair.
When she heard his laughter, she stopped to listen to the soothing words he was whispering into her hair. She tilted her head back. Held up against him, she was level with his merriment. Loving admiration warmed his hazel-eyed gaze.
She choked down a scandalized laugh. “You apologize this instant, Ravenswold. For what you said and for every nasty thing you plan to say in the future.”
“I humbly beg pardon, dearest wife-to-be. I deserve a bash in the head, but aren’t you the tiniest bit gratified that I’m jealous?”
“Indeed, I am not, for that supposes that there is just cause! Set me down, if you please.”
“Only if you let go of my head.”
“Oh, foot! I’m sorry about that.” She released his hair and dropped her hands to his shoulders. “See what an obedient, good girl I am? Now it’s your turn to be a sweet little boy and set me down.”
“Must I? This is rather nice. I believe I like holding you like this. Do you realize that this is our first embrace? Should we mark the occasion somehow?”
“You are altogether too romantic, and stop being cruel, Rave. Set me down, please? I will break your arms. I’m all of nine stone.”
“You certainly are, and I’m twice that.”
She squirmed a bit and stopped when she realized he liked it. “Then it’s a miracle that poor Poseidon isn’t swayed in the back.”
“He doesn’t complain. Will you?”
Heat rushed into her face. She looked away from the deviltry in his eyes. “Oh, I suppose not. You are a dreadful man, Rave! How am I to know? I know so little about such things.”
He gave her a soft and swift peck on the mouth before he growled his intent. “Then it’s high time you had a lesson.”
He adjusted his hold and made use of the opportunity presented with her surprise-parted lips, crushing her closer when her eager moan i
nvaded his mouth.
Cassandra, who’d only been briefly kissed by Arthur and experimented once with Jamie Leads, quickly lost all desire to make any comparisons. She wrapped her arms around his neck and angled her head to test the limits of a new experience, enchanted to learn that a kiss wasn’t regulated to a momentary touching of the lips and appeared to involve the entire body. This could be addictive. She couldn’t get enough of him or enough air to breathe and was startled when he abruptly set her down and turned away to grip the fence rail.
Cassandra stared at the broad expanse of his back and blinked away scalding tears. Mortified and worried, she wasn’t sure what to do. Something about her or her behavior was a disappointment or an offense.
Head bowed, she forced out an apology. “I see. It is the other way around. I’m sorry that I will not do.”
He whirled and gathered her back into his arms before she could say more. “Look at me, Cass. What an amazing idiot you are! You must be an innocent not to know that it’s all I can do not to take you here on the wet grass.”
Delighted, she laughed and dashed away her tears. She threw her arms around him and nuzzled his ear. “I’m so relieved! I was very afraid I wasn’t doing it right, and it’s so much fun. Why didn’t you tell me it was going to be so wonderful? Can we do it again? Set me down. Give me your hand. Can you feel my heart beating? Is it always like this, so exciting and wild? You’re so cuddly, Ferdie, just like my Fleet was.”
His chuckle was mixed with a groan. “Please, Cass, stop calling me that!”
She wrapped her arms around him and snuggled against his chest. “What would you have me call you?”
“Husband, darling, lummox, anything, but please, never Ferdie!”
“Oh, very well then.” She leaned back in his arms and fussed with his neckcloth. “I shall only call you that when I wish to tease you. That way you’ll know when I am roasting you!”
He arched an eyebrow. “And never when anyone else can hear?”
“I promise. Word of a gentleman!”
He laughed, lifted her off her feet and carried her to Andronicus. He tossed her up onto the saddle and handed her the reins and her hat. She twisted up the fall of her hair and used hatpins and the low-crowned hat to secure everything in place.
Intrigued, he watched her. “How do women do that?”
“Demmed if I know. This won’t last. Tessa needs all of her wits about her to tame this mop.”
“I have never seen hair so beautiful as yours. It’s like living fire. I wish you could see it in this light.”
“You sound like an expert. Perhaps I should ask about your past. How many mistresses have you had?”
He draped a heavy arm over the horse’s neck and Andronicus shifted his balance. “It’s not considered gentlemanly to say.”
“And it’s not fair that you should be so wise where I am so ignorant.”
“I promise to teach you everything I’ve learned to make up for your disadvantaged education.”
“You evade the question, sir. I am proof that confession is good for the soul. Follow my example, if you please.”
He shrugged. “There may have been one or two.”
She drew down the hat’s gauze veil. “Hah! A few more than that, I’ll wager. And I warn you now, that if there ever is another, I will ventilate her noodle with my father’s pistols. Someone has to protect you!”
His grin mirrored the delight in his eyes. “And you feel yourself equipped for this task?”
“Pay heed, sir, for I am about to shamelessly brag, which will give you the comfort of knowing that you will possess a complete hand for a spouse. Here and now I shall list the many accomplishments that I neglected to mention last night.”
She tugged on her gloves and smoothed out the wrinkles. Flexing her long fingers, she smirked down at him. “I know my way around any weapon you hand me, including light cannon. Uncle Duncan likes to shoot off a few rounds from the ramparts on the eve of every New Year and always asks me to help.”
She adjusted a curl that had fallen over his brow before she continued, relishing the freedom of placing the curl exactly where she wanted it. “I hunt where and when I am allowed and will take on any barrier. I have light hands on the ribbons and can drive single hitch, tandem or four-in-hand.”
She gathered up the reins. “I would have wrestled you to the ground if not for your unequaled size and weight, and I am in the midst of learning how to box. You will know that I don’t exaggerate my abilities when the mistress that you will not have shows up with a blackened eye and missing front teeth. Do you think me capable of protecting you, my little man?”
“You might, if you can see beyond your puffed-up conceit.”
“Ah, he laughs! I promise you that my admissions have nothing to do with conceit and everything to do with dedicated practice. I merely wanted you to know how handy I shall be in a crisis.”
“I hope you aren’t expecting me to escort you to George Street or Jackson’s Boxing Saloon when we’re in London. We might shock the members beyond recovery.”
She accompanied her reply with a scornful grimace. “Sir, do you suggest that I, a nonpareil, must rub shoulders with the inferior whips at the FHC? You jest! No, my good man, I shall be happily cozened into staying forever and ever in marvelous Berkshire with my splendid husband.”
Cassandra leaned over to whisper against his mouth, “Increasing every year.”
To cover the bounding of his heart, Rave lifted an imaginary quizzing glass, as if to inspect an unworthy specimen. “My dear Miss Seyton, you horrify me! Am I to understand that a person of your unquestionable and innumerable talents is to rusticate—to wantonly cast away the prime of her salad days—succumbing to the libidinous and unspeakable attentions of that prodigiously irritating gentleman, who is the possessor of the most repellant and reclusive nature—the Right Honorable Seventh Earl of Ravenswold, Lord John Ferdinand Alexander George Waite Tarleton, Baron of Restwich and Mainford, Knighted, Gartered, and infrequent Member of Parliament?”
Her golden brown eyes twinkled. She chortled a deliciously low laugh that twisted his vitals. “What? That knave!”
She neatly pivoted her mount and galloped away, calling over her shoulder, “I shall stay here for my Ferdie!”
Rave followed her at a leisurely canter. He avoided the dangerous stone barrier she had flown over with inches to spare and led his horse through the gate. He took his morning ride for enjoyment, not to break his neck. And his mind was on other things, not the least being the sorrow he felt for a girl’s crushed innocence. A small measure of comfort came from knowing she survived it better than most. In comparison to what she’d been through, he could live with the frustration of never getting the opportunity to avenge her.
He had yet to resolve the mystery of the other man in her life. He’d seen the double tracks in the soggy earth under the oak and thought the farrier’s work looked familiar. The previous evening he overheard one of his guests talking about his hack having sustained a particularly nasty stone bruise. The owner of the horse had been supplied with the name of a local smithy with the skill to make a shield to fit under the right fore shoe.
Ravenswold at first denied the truth when he found the padded hoof print. It hurt too much to believe that one of his friends, once dear and trusted, had become his enemy.
Chapter 26
Cassandra enjoyed a hearty breakfast after her ride and at Ravenswold’s suggestion, went up to her room for a nap. The bell for luncheon obligingly woke her up and cleared the passages of interfering bodies, which presented the perfect opportunity to forage for what she needed to take when she visited Arthur.
The supplies were safely hidden on top of the highest wardrobe by the time Tessa returned from her luncheon with the staff downstairs. Cassandra tossed aside a book of patterns and fashion plates when Tessa sailed through the door.
“Ah, there you are, Tessa. Have a nice luncheon?”
“The usual cold mutton and sala
d. The tomatoes were lovely.”
“Do you think you could find me some lemons?”
“Lemons? You not feeling the thing, Miss Cassy?”
“Oh, no, I’m fine. I thought I might make up a rinse for these disobliging freckles.”
“What muck! You have a total of four freckles on your entire body, but if it’s lemons you want, I’ll fetch some from downstairs. Do you want them right now?”
“Whenever you have time. Did you ever find my dancing slippers? I didn’t dance enough to wear them through.”
“His lordship’s valet delivered them this morning while you were riding. And if you stayed out of the sun you wouldn’t have to worry about ruining your complexion.” Tessa lifted a dress from the wardrobe. “Care to tell me why his lordship’s valet returned your bits of clothing before the household was up and about?”
“Why, Tessa, you’ve hit on the very thing. What I need is fresh air. I’ll be in the rose garden in the inner court if anyone should ask.”
“And who’d be askin’? All of the Four are busy. His lordship is closeted with his secretary and the other three never showed up for luncheon.”
Cassandra tried to sound nonchalant. “I heard Asterly was under the weather.”
“Must’ve recovered. He went over to the Fethertons with Mr. Bates and Sir Harry.”
Cassandra’s derisive laugh settled into a disgruntled scowl. “Waste of time, if you ask me. Three perfectly delightful men, squandering themselves on an insolent snip.”
“Now, now, none of that. It doesn’t make her a nasty person just because she caught his lordship’s eye. She’s the result of her upbringing, as Bakers used to say. You can’t be blamin’ the child for takin’ after her mama.”
“Tessa, why don’t you stick your head under the pump? You know perfectly well that Leticia Fetherton is sadly underbred. You’re only trying to torment me, or perhaps impress me with exaggerated sweetness, and we both know that’s a pretense.”
“Miss Cassy, if I wasn’t such a kind soul, as Mrs. Gliddens commented this morning at breakfast, I’d have to accuse you and Miss Fetherton of being sisters. But then I know for a fact that you aren’t one to shag everyone in britches.”