by S. J. West
My mother sits down beside me while I process the secret she just revealed to me about a man I once thought I knew better than anyone else in the world. Now, I realize I didn’t know him at all. Perhaps I never did.
“Why did he stay with me?” I question. “If he wanted other women, he should have just left me.”
“I think Timothy loved you, in his own way.”
“No wonder Uncle Enis always hated him.”
“Not always,” she reminds me with a sad smile. “When you were children growing up, we both loved him a great deal. When we found out that he betrayed you, if felt like he betrayed us all.”
“I was such a fool. I should have seen the type of man he was.”
“I think a part of you did in the end, but by that time, you were so angry at him all we could hope for was that you would eventually let him go. We had no way of knowing things would end so tragically.”
I feel numb. The man I thought I knew and wanted to build a life with was nothing more than a liar. I almost let my guilt over Timothy’s suicide ruin what I might be able to have with Ethan. I’m being given the opportunity to experience real love now, and I get to do that with an angel who’s my soul mate.
“Thank you for telling me, Mom,” I say. “I guess I needed to hear the whole truth to make it easier to move on. I can’t change what happened in the past, but I can affect what happens in my future.”
“Ethan’s a good man,” my mom says, looking happy and excited that I’m finally ready to start thinking about my future again. “He will be loyal to you now and forever. I have no doubt about that.”
“Me either,” I say, finding a reason to smile.
I realize now that it’s time for me to let my past remain there. Everything—good and bad—has forged me into the person I am today, but my future doesn’t have to be a mirror of my past. I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to build a life that I want to live.
CHAPTER 18
“I don’t think I’ve ever dressed up as much as I have these past few days,” I declare to my mother as I sit on the stool in front of the vanity in her bedroom. Applying makeup has never really been my strong suit, but since we’re running short on time, I do the best I can while my mom rummages around in her closet to find me something suitable to change into.
“Did they make you wear formal clothing while you were in King Manas’ fortress?” my mother calls out from her walk-in closet.
“Yes, but the clothing wasn’t the problem. The people were. I don’t know what’s wrong with them, but everyone I met who lived inside Manas’ palace needed a good spanking.”
My mother laughs. “I can’t say I’ve ever been to Laed-i. In fact, I don’t think any rebellion angel was ever stationed there.”
“Probably because there wasn’t any need. I’m sure the Manas family was already making it an intolerable planet to live on without any rebellion angel help.”
Through the reflection in the vanity’s mirror, I observe my mother walk out of her closet carrying a dress I’ve never seen her wear before. I turn around on the stool and watch as she lays it out on her bed. The dress is mauve and composed of alternating sheer lace and solid material panels. You can tell that it’s a couture dress by the cut, style, and intricate detail work, especially along the left side where an expertly designed raised fabric detail curves up along one hip, arches between the breasts, and ends around the lower part of the left sleeve. A set of tiny rosettes cover the top of that particular sleeve while its match on the other side is left bare.
“That dress is gorgeous,” I croon. “Why have I never seen you wear it?”
“Oh, I didn’t buy this for me,” she says. “I bought it for you a couple of years ago.”
“For me?” I ask, perplexed by the notion that she’s kept this gown hidden away in her closet all this time. “Why?”
My mom sighs and smiles wanly as she looks away from the dress to me.
“I was hoping that you would drag yourself out of your depression and find a suitable young man to go out with on a proper date. Plus, when I saw it at the shop, I knew it was made for you. I just pray that you haven’t lost too much weight for it to fit properly.”
“Only one way to find out,” I state, standing up and walking over to try the dress on.
Luckily for me, the dress fits perfectly. My mother hands me a pair of matching shoes that can’t even be seen until I walk because of the long mermaid style bottom of the dress.
“And you look as beautiful as I thought you would in it,” my mother declares with a smile on her face as she gazes at me with a look of immense pride.
“You don’t think this dress is too fancy to wear to a kids’ party?” I ask.
“This isn’t the type of event that will have cake and clowns, Jules,” she tells me, walking back into her closet presumably to find herself something to wear. When she comes back out with a simple light blue chiffon dress, she continues. “This party is meant to introduce the people of Cirrus to their future rulers.”
“Seems like a lot of responsibility to place on such young shoulders.”
“It’ll be years before they ascend to the throne. I believe Anna and Malcolm simply want to make sure their citizens feel connected to the children while they’re still young. Having a close relationship with the people they govern will undoubtedly make them better rulers in the long run. And considering the fact that the next generation of War Angel-human hybrids are already being conceived, I’m afraid Liana and Liam won’t have a quiet or easy life.”
“I’m sure Anna and Malcolm will prepare them for their futures well. Neither of them seem to be weak minded.”
“They’re some of the strongest people I know. They’ve been through a lot—both together and individually—and I’m afraid they still have more to go through, especially since there are three princes of Hell still in control of their own cloud cities on Earth.”
“Do you think I’ll see any of them tonight?” I ask.
“Oh, I highly doubt they were invited. If they do show up, it’s because they’re crashing the party. Now, help me with my dress so we’re not late arriving there.”
“Ethan is supposed to be picking me up in a few minutes,” I tell her as she sheds her clothes and I hold out her dress to make it easier for her to step into.
“Just zip me up and I’ll take you right back,” she says. “Enis and I will go ahead of you to make sure everything is clear.”
“You make it sound like we’re entering a war zone,” I joke.
“It’s hard to tell what kind of scene you might walk into on Earth,” she replies in all seriousness. “Hale and the other rebellion angels who decided not to take God’s offer of forgiveness are still out there. Even though I doubt they’ll show their faces tonight, you never know. They’re all a little unhinged, especially Hale. When you’re dealing with people who have nothing left to lose, it’s never a good idea to turn your back to them. You always have to be on your guard.”
“That doesn’t seem like any way to live your life, though. Always having to look behind you to make sure no one is sneaking up to stab you in the back? No thanks.”
“Sometimes you just do what you have to, Jules, and make the best of a bad situation. I think Anna and Malcolm have figured out how to balance everything and still provide their children with a good life. You’ve met Lucas, haven’t you? He’s probably one of the most confident and well-adjusted young men I’ve ever met.”
“I would have to agree with you there,” I say, looking at the clock and seeing that it’s almost time for Ethan to return to my apartment. “Okay, Mom, phase me back home. I don’t want to keep him waiting.”
My mother does as I say without question. Once we’re standing in my living room, she leans over and gives me a small kiss on the cheek.
“I’ll see you in Cirrus, and smile, Jules, you look lovely,” she tells me.
After my mother phases away, I end up standing awkwardly in the center of my living room
waiting for Ethan to arrive. One reason I don’t sit down to wait is because I’m afraid it might wrinkle my dress, and secondly, I want Ethan to get the full effect of me when he phases into the room. Thankfully, I only have to wait about five minutes before he phases in a couple of feet away from me.
Ethan is wearing a simple black suit, but the way it fits his body so perfectly leaves me speechless. Even if he wasn’t my soul mate, I know I would still consider him the most handsome man I’d ever met.
I watch as his eyes travel the length of me with a lingering gaze, as if he’s making sure he notices every detail.
“Jules,” he says, “you look gorgeous.”
“Right back at ya,” I reply, unable to prevent myself from smiling at him and doing my own ogling. “Do you think I’ll fit in at the party?”
“No,” Ethan answers, meeting my gaze, “you’ll definitely stand out in that dress, but in a good way. I fear I may end up having to beat off a few would-be suitors this evening.”
“You could be right about that,” I say, looking down at myself. “I do look pretty hot in this dress.”
“I think that might be the understatement of the century,” Ethan states.
I smile so wide after hearing Ethan’s words that my cheeks begin to ache.
He walks up to me and holds out his left arm, crooked at the elbow for me to take.
“Come on,” he says. “We shouldn’t deny the people of Cirrus an opportunity to see what true beauty looks like.”
“If you keep flattering me like that, I may just have to kiss you for it,” I tease.
“Then you can count on me flattering you all night long,” he replies with a small grin. “Oh, and Desmond has given me a clean bill of health. So if you want to take advantage of me this evening, by all means, feel free.”
I laugh. “I’m pleased to know that you’re healthy, and I will certainly consider you a strong candidate for ravishment later tonight.”
Ethan looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Only a strong candidate?”
“Okay,” I relent, “the only candidate, but don’t tell my other would-be suitors that. I would hate to break their hearts.”
“I think my heart is the only one you’ll have to worry about this evening,” he murmurs.
I look him straight in the eyes and say, “You don’t have to worry about that because breaking your heart would break mine too, and I’ve decided to make more of an effort not to do that anymore.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he replies, looking more than pleased by my words. “And I promise to never do anything to make you change your mind about that.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” I tell him, using his own words to express how much what he just said means to me too.
“Do you need to grab anything before we go to Cirrus?” he asks.
I suddenly feel a well of panic rise inside my chest. “Was I supposed to bring a gift for the babies?”
“No, this isn’t that kind of party,” he reassures me. “You only need to bring yourself.”
“Good. I’m not sure I would have known what to buy a prince and princess of a cloud city anyway. They probably have more than they need as it is.”
“They do have what they need, but Malcolm and Anna are very cautious when it comes to spoiling them. They never want the children to feel like the world owes them anything. They want the kids to feel privileged to have what they’re given, not entitled.”
“Why isn’t Lucas in line to inherit the throne?”
“He isn’t related to either Malcolm or Anna by blood. Malcolm adopted him when he was just a baby, and according to the law in Cirrus, only a direct blood descendant can rule after Anna and Malcolm are gone.”
“That’s a shame. Lucas is so bright and considerate of others. I’m sure he would have made a great leader.”
“You don’t necessarily have to have a title to have power. I feel sure the twins will go to their big brother for advice when they need it.”
I take in a deep breath before saying, “Okay, let’s go before I lose my nerve.”
“Why are you nervous?”
I look at Ethan and say, “I’m nervous because I feel like this is the first step I’m taking into a life I want, and I know how much Anna and the others mean to you. I guess I’m worried that I may not fit into your world, but I want you to know that I’ll do my best to blend in.”
“Jules,” Ethan says, looking confused by my words, “you already are a part of my world. Anna loves you. Malcolm respects you, and my men think you’re strong enough to put up with my moods.”
“Your moods?” I ask, finding it hard not to smile uncertainly. “What exactly is there to put up with?”
“For one, I can be surly on occasion …”
“Ah, like the time we first met?” I ask knowingly. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something about that since Anna explained a few things to me about soul mates. From what she said, you should have known the instant you saw me that I was your soul mate. Did you?”
“Yes.”
“Then why were you so argumentative with me during that whole conversation? I thought for sure you hated me.”
Ethan sighs heavily. “Can I answer that honestly without it hurting your feelings?”
“Sure,” I say hesitantly, not liking where this conversation is going.
“Initially, I was disappointed that you were my soul mate.”
I don’t say anything because I feel sure he has more to tell me, and I want to hear it all first before I let his words affect me.
“All you seemed to be interested in was getting paid to find Helena,” he goes on to explain, “and I couldn’t understand how my soul mate could be concerned about money when there was so much more at stake. But it didn’t take me long to figure out that you were exactly the type of person I needed in my life, and amassing a personal fortune wasn’t your primary goal.”
“I can understand that,” I tell him, truly meaning it. “The part of my personality you met first was the bounty hunter part. I have to be ruthless and not budge when it comes to getting paid. It’s just part of the job.”
“I know that now, but during our first encounter, I didn’t.”
“There’s a lot about me that you don’t know yet, but I hope, given enough time, you’ll become familiar with everything. Now, let’s go to Cirrus before my mom and Uncle Enis come looking for us.”
Ethan phases us to the ballroom of Anna’s palace. I remember looking inside it from its veranda the first time I was brought to Cirrus. Back then, I could only imagine what kind of parties were held within its walls. Now, I’m a part of one. As I look at the people already present, I can see that my mother was right about my outfit blending in well among the other guests.
“Evelyn! She’s here!” I hear my Uncle Enis shout.
My mind suddenly flashes back to a school dance where my mom and uncle were chaperons. I was uncomfortable the whole night because at least one of them always kept their eyes on me. Sometimes, I feel like they’ll never stop watching over me, but in a way, I guess I hope they don’t. You should always have someone watching your back, and who’s better qualified to do that than the people who love you most in the world?
“Well, look at you all dressed up,” I say to Uncle Enis as he and my mother walk over to us. “You clean up nicely, Uncle Enis. It’s been a long time since I saw you in a tuxedo.”
I remember the last time he wore one. It was at my wedding, but I don’t particularly want to bring that occasion up with Ethan so close. Tonight is supposed to be about making a fresh start, and mentioning my marriage to another man just doesn’t seem appropriate.
“I couldn’t very well meet the future rulers of Cirrus and not at least make an effort with my appearance,” my uncle tells me, straightening his bow tie to perfection.
“Besides,” my mom says, “he’s my escort this evening. I wasn’t going to show up with someone who looked like a street urchin.”
“I don’t dre
ss that badly,” Uncle Enis protests.
“Eh,” I say. “Sometimes you do, so I have to agree with Mom on this one.”
Uncle Enis looks at Ethan. “Do you see how they treat me? Are you sure you want to be a part of this family, Ethan? Sometimes I feel like the two of them gang up on me unmercifully.”
“Only because they love you,” Ethan points out.
“True,” my uncle says, looking straight into Ethan’s eyes, “and I love them too. Just so we’re clear on that. Jules may not be my daughter by blood, but I love her more than anyone in this universe.”
It doesn’t take a genius to read between the lines of Uncle Enis’ words, and Ethan seems to readily pick up on the warning held within them.
“I understand” is all he says in response, but it seems to be enough to earn a nod of mutual understanding from my uncle.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please!”
With those words, everyone’s eyes are drawn to the dais in the room where two gold throne chairs are situated. I see Jered standing there, waiting for everyone to stop talking and give him their undivided attention.
“First of all,” he says with a congenial smile, “I would like to thank all of you for coming this evening to meet the future rulers of Cirrus, Princess Lillianna and Prince Liam. Empress Anna and Emperor Malcolm asked me to say a few words on their behalf before they and their children join us. Although we’ve all had a rather tumultuous year, peace and prosperity have blessed each of us since returning to Cirrus. In the next few years, the empress and emperor intend to continue their work in the down-world, which should greatly benefit us all in time. As their children grow stronger, so will Cirrus and its territories. If we all strive to work together, nothing can stop us from remaining the most powerful cloud city on Earth!”
People begin to cheer their support of Jered’s words. Some do so with great gusto and some with reserved optimism. There are a few in the crowd who simply stand still and do nothing in order to show their doubts about Cirrus’ future. I’m not really surprised by their pessimism. You can’t please everyone, especially when politics are involved. Considering how many people do seem to support what Anna and Malcolm are doing, I would call their reign a very successful one so far.