by Alexis Angel
I go up to my feet and, grabbing my cellphone, I go through the contact list. My heart starts to race, and there’s a little voice in my head, whispering for me to get a hold of myself. I know that I’m about to do something terribly stupid, but I just can’t help myself. Heartbreak is the leading cause for bad decisions, it seems.
Remember Robert? Well, he has been sending me text messages almost every day, even though I never bother to respond. I figured that after our failed date and Mason’s intervention, that he would see the painting on the wall and simply forget about me. Of course, I couldn’t be any more mistaken about that. If anything, it seemed that when Mason entered the scene that Robert’s competitive streak flared up. Now, alone and depressed after a failed yoga session, I’m glad that he hasn’t given up.
When his name pops up on the screen, I double tap it and take a deep breath as my thumb moves across the screen. “Want to have lunch?” I write, my thumb then hovering over the SEND button. Don’t do it, Becca, my rational mind seems to say, but I can’t stop myself - I press the icon on the screen, and the message flies away from my cellphone and into his.
I throw my phone back on top of the table, expecting for him to take a while to respond, but his answer is almost an immediate one: the moment I let go of the phone, it vibrates at once. I pick it up, unlock it, and feel my heart tightening up as I see Robert’s response. “Yes! We can have lunch at your place. I’ll bring wine,” his text says. Fully knowing that I shouldn’t be doing this, I text him back a simple “sure”.
I went from trying to set up a lunch with Robert to now having him come into my house with wine. To say that I’m not thinking straight would be putting it mildly, I know. Sighing, I look down at the clock on my phone and, realizing that Robert will probably be here in a hour or so, I head straight for the bathroom. I get undressed and, hopping into the shower, I step under the hot water and let it wash over me, pushing all my anxiety to the back of my mind. It doesn’t work, of course, but I have no idea on what else I should do. I never really had to deal with heartbreak before and, now that I find myself going through it, I’m at a complete loss. Nobody ever told me that it was this hard.
When I finally get out of the shower, I put on a matching black lace bra and thong, and then squeeze myself into a close fitting dress. The dress is a bit revealing, showing more of my cleavage than what I’m used to, but by now I’m far from thinking straight. Am I actually expecting for something to happen between Robert and I? No, that whisper of rationality seems to say, and I know it’s the truth. I’m not expecting it to happen, and I don’t want it to happen… But the pain in my heart is guiding all of my decisions right now and, as I step out of my room wearing a provocative dress, I’m no longer sure of what I’m doing. I’m working on auto-pilot, and I’ve set it to drive me all the way against the wall. Right now, all I want is to crash and burn - self-loathing at its best, I guess.
I sit down on my couch, waiting for Robert, but I don’t have to wait long. When the clock strikes 12, there’s a knock at my door, and my heart almost explodes at the sound of it. I go up to my feet, straighten the hem of my dress, and put on a fake smile on my lips. God, what the hell am I doing?
Stopping in front of the door, I take one deep breath as I reach for the handle. I wait one long second before turning it and, when I do, I feel my knees shaking. I can’t back down from this now.
When I open the door, I try and put on my best smile as I see Robert. He’s holding a bottle of red wine in his hands, and there’s a truly happy smile on his lips. On his eyes, I can already see hunger and lust holding hands, and I’m not sure that I like it. But, just like I said, it’s too late to back down from this.
“Hey,” I greet him meekly, accepting the bottle as he hands it to me.
“Hey,” he repeats and, without giving me the time to react, leans into me and kisses me on the cheek. Oh, God, this is already going sideways. I bet he expects to fuck me once we empty his bottle of wine.
I know I should try and put a stop to this while there’s still time, but the autopilot is in full throttle. “Come in,” I tell him, stepping to the side and allowing him to get in. I close the door behind me, and anxiety kicks in with all its forces. Crap, what the hell got through my mind for me to invite Robert over? Or, rather, to allow him to invite himself over.
I go up to the kitchen counter and, setting the bottle down, I rummage through the drawers, trying to find the bottle opener. While I do it, Robert leans on the counter, looking at me with that barely contained hunger in his eyes. I don’t mind when men look at me like that but, somehow, he’s giving me the creeps. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown accustomed to having Mason look at me like that… Maybe it’s because I’ll never be with a man again without thinking of Mason. He ruined me for other men, that’s for sure, and I’m not talking about his massive cock - although, I’ll admit, I’m going to miss it for the rest of my life. Hey, don’t judge - you don’t come across a man with a cock that big often in your life. And he also knew how to use it, don’t forget about that.
“What’s for lunch?” He asks me, and I almost slap my forehead with the palm of my hand. Lunch! Fuck, I completely forget about that.
“I, uh, I didn’t have the time to prepare anything. Maybe we should go out?” I try hesitantly. At the same time, I finally find the bottle opener and place it on the counter, next to the bottle. Robert reaches for it with a smile and, grabbing at the bottle, starts to uncork it.
“Don’t worry, Becca. We can order in something… What matters is that we’re here together, isn’t it?” He says, and I notice his eyes wandering down to my cleavage. Suddenly, I feel like a complete idiot for putting on a dress like this. What did I think would happen?
“I… I guess,” I stammer, reaching for two glasses of wine. As I set them on the counter, Robert proceeds to serve the wine. My heart kicks and punches against my chest as the sound of wine hitting glass reaches my ears. When I go for one of the glasses, I realize that my hands are shaking, and I have to take a deep breath. I take one long gulp, hoping that it will steady my nerves. With each passing second, I feel more and more uncomfortable about being along with Robert, and the fact that I was the one setting all this into motion doesn’t really help… I can’t exactly kick him out without looking like a complete bitch.
“What would you like to order in?” He asks me, going around the counter and closing in the distance between me and him. With each step he takes, my heart starts to pound louder, just like an alarm. “Or maybe we can think about that later…” He continues, lowering his voice and brushing two fingers against my cheek. I tremble as I feel his touch and, reacting by instinct, I take one step back, almost spilling the wine all over my dress.
“We can order now,” I blurt out, reaching for my cellphone while my mind goes into overdrive. I try and look for a restaurant that does home deliveries, but I can barely concentrate on what’s on the screen. Robert reaches for my phone and simply plucks it out of my hands, placing it on the counter.
“You’re nervous,” he whispers, smiling at me. “That’s okay. I’m a bit nervous too…” I gulp as he comes up at me and, taking another step back, I hit the fridge with my back. My eyes dart to his crotch, and I notice something bulging underneath his pants. Oh, God, I can’t believe that he’s already hard.
Coming up to me, he presses his body against mine, taking both hands to my face. As I feel his boner on my leg, I immediately react by pushing him back and stepping to the side. My mouth has suddenly grown dry, and I guess I can say the same thing about my pussy.
“Robert… I think you’ve misunderstood me,” I start, looking at him as I try to find the right words. I told him he could come over, I’m wearing a skimpy dress… And now I’m telling him that he has misunderstood my intentions? Well, that’s rich of me. Still, I don’t care - whatever I’m wearing, no man has the right to put a move on me without my consent. That’s right, I might be a lot of things, but I’ll never allow any
one to walk over me. Especially when sex is concerned.
“You’re just scared,” he continues, still walking toward me. The guy is relentless. “But you don’t need to be… I want you, Becca. I’ve dreamed of you every single night since I first saw you.” How do you spell creepy? Oh, right, R-o-b-e-r-t.
As if the universe conspired to save me from his advances, someone knocks on the door. I step out of his reach and walk hurriedly toward the door, turning the handle without bothering to ask who’s on the other side. My heart skips a beat as I see the man in front of me. Yes, I know what you’re thinking… And you’re right.
“Becca…” Mason says my name as he steps inside the apartment. In his clear blue eyes, I can almost see my reflection.
“Mason…” I say, my heart tightening up so much that I no longer know how in the world it continues to beat. He smiles tenderly at me, and then he notices that we’re not alone. He looks at Robert with one arched eyebrow, and I notice his eyes wandering to the bottle of wine on the counter. Finally, he look straight at Robert. His smile vanishes, and he purses his lips; I wish I could have a hole where I could hide right now.
He looks into my eyes, and I give him a weak smile. I’m sorry, I mouth, biting on my lower lip with regret. With a quick nod, I give him my assent to do what needs to be done.
“Get out,” he tells Robert, turning to him with a serious expression on his face. He’s completely relaxed, but I notice his hands balling into fists, almost as if he’s ready to crash them into Robert’s face at a moment’s notice.
“You can’t simply walk in here and --” Without bothering to hear what Robert has to say, Mason walks over to him and grabs him by the scruff of his shirt.
“Get. The. Fuck. Out.” He tells him, and I can almost see Robert shrinking in size. To have someone as imposing as Mason telling you to fuck off has be an intimidating experience. He opens his mouth to speak but, like a fish suffocating on too much oxygen, he simply closes it again. When Mason lets go of him, he straightens the collar of his shirt and, trying to act as dignified as possible - and failing miserably - he walks toward the door.
Before he leaves, he throws me a pissed off look and then simply storms out, slamming the door behind him. I turn to Mason at once, looking as apologetic as possible.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him, desperate to know everything about the tender expression he looks at me... Somehow, I already knows what he wants to say, but I need to hear it all the same.
“I was wrong, baby girl. I was so fucking wrong,” he whispers, closing the distance between him and I and placing both his hands on my hips.
"Fuck the world, Becca," he says. "They can fucking take everything from me. My company. My title. My money. But I swear to fucking God they will never take me away from you. Ever again."
Tears stream down my eyes.
"I fucking love you, baby girl," he tells me.
"I love you too, Daddy," I says with a mischievous smile - so happy that I feel drunk.
“And I’m sorry,” he says, his eyes penetrating mine.
“I’m… sorry as well,” I manage to say, biting on my bottom lip as I remember the look on Mason’s eyes as he realized I was all alone with Robert.
“No, that’s my fault for being a fucking idiot,” he whispers, and then leans in to kiss me. The moment our lips touch, everything is right with the world once more. Heartbreak? What does that even mean?
“Promise me,” I whisper, pressing my forehead against his, “promise me that you won’t leave ever again.”
“I promise,” he tells me with a smile, and then runs his fingers through my hair. I look into his eyes, my heart beating a tender song of love. When everything seemed lost, the wheel of Karma turned and turned and now here we are… Together. And nothing will ever come between us. I just know it; whatever it is that life throws at us, we won’t allow anything to pull us apart, not anymore.
“I love you, Mason.”
“I love you too, baby girl…”
We kiss again and I place my hands on his chest. I can feel his heart beating under the palm of my hand, and it almost feels like it’s beating at the same rhythm as mine. Guided by more than simple lust—love—I take my fingers to his collar and start unbuttoning his white shirt. My fingers move slowly, but they work at a steady pace. When I finally open all of the buttons, I pull on the fabric of his shirt and untuck it, hooking my fingers on his belt.
“I never wanted anyone as I want you…” I find myself saying, a growing wetness conquering the space between my thighs. If a few weeks ago someone told me that lust could be this wild and uncontrollable, I’d just laugh. But now… Now I’m not laughing, far from it. And I couldn’t be happier to be proven wrong.
“That makes two of us, baby girl…” he says, resting his hands on my shoulders and pulling the straps of the dress down my arms. I let him pull the fabric down my torso, and he only stops when my dress is hanging limply at my waist. With his fingers on my stomach, he runs them up to my breasts and, settling his hands over the cups of my bra, he squeezes gently. I feel my nipples hardening under his touch, and my pussy continues to grow wetter with each passing second.
With a smile, I unbuckle his belt and start to pull his pants’ zipper down, my hands no longer shaking. All the anxiety and fearfulness that I felt only a few minutes ago has already vanished, almost as if I had never felt it in the first place. It’s funny how things can change so fast. In one minute you’re down in a pit, the other you’re flying too close to the sun.
Turning my hand around, I gently place my fingers over his boxer briefs, my skin prickling as I feel his thick shape throbbing against the palm of my hand. And to think that, for a moment, I was almost sure that I would never feel his cock ever again… Curling my fingers around his member, I start moving my hand over his shaft, stroking him softly; at the same time, he pulls the right cup of my bra down, baring my hard nipple.
A gentle moan leaves my lips as he leans in, wrapping his lips around my rosy tip and sucking it into his mouth. Sliding one hand down the side of my body, he places it over my ass and squeezes my cheeks; with his other hand, he goes for the strap of my bra and, with a simple flick of his fingers, unhooks it. My fingers become tighter around his cock as he pulls my bra down, taking it off of my body.
Sighing as desire lulls me into a dreamlike state, I slide my hand under his boxer briefs and grab his cock again, my skin prickling as his warmness spreads to my fingers. I need him so much, God… It’s almost unreal.
With a knot in my throat—one of lust and desire—I let go of his cock and take one step back. Smiling, I turn my back to him and walk to the couch right in the middle of the living room, leading him by the hand. He comes after me willingly and, once I’m close to the couch, he pushes down. I sit up at once and, in one flowing movement, I hook my fingers on his boxers and push them down, sending them with his pants to his knees. His cock springs free at once, slapping the back of my hand, and I grab it almost immediately.
Wasting no time at all, I start to stroke him as I lock eyes with him, and I feel the pull of his cock and I lean in, parting my lips. I rest them against the tip of his length, feeling his salty precum coating the tip of my tongue, and let his glans slide inside of my mouth. There’s a barely audible groan of pleasure, and then he places his hands on my head, but he doesn’t force me to go down; instead, I’m the one taking the lead and doing it.
Opening my mouth as wide as I can, I start to push my mouth down his shaft and I only stop when all of his twelve inches are comfortably nestled inside of me. I don’t even know how to describe the way he completely fills my mouth… It presses down on my tongue, and it pushes the inside of my cheeks to the sides and, when it touches the back of my throat… God, it just makes me burn up like a virgin girl savoring a cock for the first time.
Even though there’s a whirlwind of lust inside of me, I keep myself poised and serene; I roll my lips back the way they came, and then I go down agai
n. I repeat the motion over and over again, allowing the pace of my mouth on his cock to grow naturally. With his fingers tangled in my hair, he allows me to dictate the tempo and simply surrenders to the sway of my head as I suck on him.
Using both hands, and all this without taking my mouth out of his cock, I tug on his shirt and send it flying down his arms. It falls to the floor at his feet, and then I let my hands go down to his ass. Digging my fingers into his ass cheeks, I pull him into me, and he starts to rock his hips gently, instinct blanketing us both. As he does it, I finally stop moving my head and let him thrust, his cock sliding in and out of me at a perfect pace. I close my eyes, my insides clenching as he fucks my mouth, and I become so wet that I feel my fluids dripping down my thighs and drenching both my thong and dress. I need him between my legs, and I need it now.
I let go of his ass and, moving back, I allow his cock to pop out of my mouth with a wet sound. Reading what’s on my mind, he takes off his shoes and kicks off both his pants and underwear, his naked body towering over me. He leans into me and, grabbing at my dress, he pulls it down my legs as I lift my ass up from the couch.
“I need to taste you first,” he whispers, his lips moving in a seductive way as he speaks. Oh, I’m the one who needs him to taste him… I need to feel his full lips on my pussy as much as I need to breathe right now. As he goes down to his knees, I spread my legs wide and allow him to place his head right between my thighs. I shiver as he starts kissing my naked skin, brushing his lips against my inner thighs and moving them close to my groins; with his tongue, he traces the contour of my thong and then, finally, he bites down on the fabric. As he pulls with his teeth, I lift my legs up in the air and press them together, allowing him to peel the thong off of me. Completely naked now, I reach for his head and grab at his hair, guiding him right to where I need him to be. He comes willingly, parting his lips with his tongue and going straight for my clit.