by S. J. West
Well, Mira is just chock-full of surprises, I think to myself rather sarcastically. I decide not to share my thoughts with Julian. I’m sure he can feel my astonishment and worry over Mira’s helping hand during our stay in New Orleans without me having to give voice to my inner thoughts. It just seems uncharacteristically kind of her to go out of her way to make our time in her city a pleasant one. I’m suspicious of her motives, but I have no reason to accuse her of anything sinister just because I can sense her self-serving, egomaniacal side every time I’m around her. As far as I know, there isn’t a law against being a bitch.
I look to my left. I look to my right. Then I begin to stuff my face with the mini chicken cordon bleus sitting so prettily on a silver serving tray on the table in front of me. I have the twenty or so hors d’oeuvres inside my belly within a few minutes.
“You know, we do have a table we can sit at while you eat,” Julian informs me.
I follow his gaze and see a small round table with a white tablecloth draped over it. A yellow and white arrangement of Gerber daisies is situated in the middle of the table with two long-stemmed candles in sterling silver candleholders flanking it.
“How did you know I like Gerber daisies?” I ask him.
“Gage brought you some when he came over for dinner the other evening,” he answers. “I remember you telling him that they are one of your favorite flowers.”
I smile, finding it endearing that he remembered such a small detail about me.
I pick up a tray of pigs in a blanket from the buffet, and we make our way over to the dining table. Julian takes a matchstick out of a box of them that were left for us to use and lights the candles. We don’t talk much at first, because I think Julian senses how hungry I am. I haven’t eaten anything since the sandwiches he and Nadia made me for lunch. I have no doubt my stomach was preparing to gnaw on my backbone it felt so empty.
As I sip on some water from a crystal flute, I have to say, “I thought you said you didn’t want our first time together to be a planned event. Yet everything about today has been planned out to a T.”
“I realized that I haven’t actually taken you out on a real date. This is the first time we’ve been able to go places together as a couple and not just companions. You deserve to be wined and dined, Sarah Marcel, and I want you to understand that you’re a woman worth planning surprises for.”
“I would have been just as happy if we had stayed inside that condo all day and never left the bedroom,” I tell him.
Julian grins. “I know you would have, but the old-fashioned gentleman in me demanded that I show you the respect you deserve. In fact, I’m having a hard time convincing him that we don’t need to be married before we make love.”
“Please tell the gentleman in you that while I appreciate the sentiment, I’m a woman of the modern age and don’t need a ring on my finger before I share my body with the man I love.”
“I know that, and to be honest, I seriously doubt I could make myself wait until our wedding night anyway.”
“You make it sound so far away,” I say with a nervous laugh. When Julian doesn’t crack a smile, I have to ask, “Just how long do you plan to make me wait before I can call you mine in front of God?”
“Until I can step inside a church with you and make my vows to you with His blessing.”
“So you intend to make me wait until you’re human?” I say, deciphering Julian’s roundabout words. I remember Daniel telling me that vampires can’t step on holy ground.
“I would like to,” he tells me, looking uneasy as he awaits my response.
“Are you doing this for me or for you?” I have to ask.
“I would like to think I’m postponing it for us both. Do you disagree with me wanting to wait?”
“It’s not that I disagree,” I say, knowing I’ll need to tread lightly on this subject. “I just don’t see the point in waiting if it’s just the church thing. I’m perfectly happy having a justice of the peace perform the ceremony in a place like this,” I say, waving a hand in the air to indicate the Peristyle. “I don’t need a big church wedding if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“It’s not just that,” Julian says, sitting back in his chair as he looks at me from across the table. “I need to be sure I can provide you with the sort of life you deserve, and that life doesn’t include me being a vampire.”
“I will love you whether you stay just the way you are or if you become human,” I stress. “My feelings for you won’t ever change.”
Julian doesn’t say anything right away. He seems to be mulling over his next words to me on the subject.
“For the first time in my life,” he begins, “I feel as though I’m nearing the end of a very long journey. Regaining my humanity has been my goal for so long, I can’t think about much else right now. When I commit myself to you, I want to do so without desiring anything more than you. Does that make sense? Can you understand that?”
I sigh. “Yes. I understand what you’re saying. I might not like it, and Kaylee definitely won’t, but I’ll do my best to remain patient. I don’t ever want you to do something just because it’s what I want. We’re together on this and everything else for the rest of our lives.”
“Thank you for understanding. It means a lot to me.”
“And you mean everything to me,” I tell him, resting my right arm on the table and extending it with my palm up.
Julian leans forward and places one of his hands over mine. I squeeze it gently to emphasize the declaration I just made.
“Now,” I say, letting go of his hand and standing from my chair, “I think there are some cucumber sandwiches over there calling out my name. I would hate to disappoint them by not eating them.”
Julian chuckles as he watches me walk away to return to the buffet.
Hey, if he didn’t want me to eat all of the food, he wouldn’t have had the caterers prepare so much. I feel it’s my duty as his companion to eat it all and not waste a cent of his money.
About an hour later, I’ve completely consumed the entire buffet and feel an odd sensation overcome my body: complete satiation. It’s been forever since I felt as though I couldn’t possibly eat another bite. Thankfully, my new dress gives a little in the stomach area. It helps to have an overactive metabolism though. What I eat doesn’t stay in my stomach for very long. It gets broken down rather quickly by my body, for which I’m eternally grateful. If it didn’t, I would probably end up waddling around like a nine-month pregnant woman for the rest of my life.
Just as I dip the last strawberry in the chocolate fondue fountain, a quartet of musicians enter the pavilion with their own white fold-up chairs. Julian goes over to speak with them before returning to my side.
“May I have the honor of a dance?” he asks, holding out his hand to me. “I thought you might like a little music and dancing after such a large meal.”
“You truly do seem to think of everything,” I tell him, accepting his hand as he leads me back toward the musicians. We stop about four feet away from them as Julian takes me into his arms. The quartet begins to play a waltz, and Julian commences to twirl me around, much like he did at Mira’s party. I can’t stop myself from giggling because I’m having too much fun.
As we dance, I ask Julian, “Where’s Nadia? I thought she was supposed to meet us here.”
“I’m sure she’s around here somewhere, lurking in a shadow and watching our every move,” he tells me jokingly. “I’m glad to see that the two of you are getting along better now. I heard your conversation with Shael. I was happy you didn’t decide to send Nadia and the others back to Alfheim in shame.”
“Did you know that would happen to them if I did?”
Julian shakes his head. “I had no idea or I would have talked you out of even asking. The alfar are extremely private about their way of life. In fact, I don’t know anyone who has ever been invited to their home world. I almost yelled for you to take Shael up on her offer for a visit. I would l
ove to go there and see what it looks like one day.”
“We could just ask Nadia,” I say. “I’m sure she would tell us what it’s like there.”
“I’m sure she would tell you, but I highly doubt she would freely share the information with me.”
“Nonsense. You’re my companion and the man I love. I don’t want to know something that you’re restricted from knowing. That would just be too awkward.”
“True,” Julian agrees, “but you will probably have to be the one who tells me any information she’s willing to share with you. Like I said, the alfar are a very private people. They don’t usually divulge information with outsiders unless they have to.”
“Why do you think they’re so secretive about themselves?” I ask.
“I really don’t know. I haven’t dealt with them very much. Mira knows a lot more about them than I do.”
Well, I’m definitely not going to seek Mira out for more information. Nadia should be able to tell me what I need to know. Aunt Shael did entrust her to educate me about all things alfar, and I plan to gain as much knowledge from her as I can.
The music from the quartet changes to a slow song. Julian brings my body in closer to his, and I rest my head against his chest. I close my eyes and drink in the warmth of his body as I listen to the steady beating of his heart. It’s strange to know that I’m the sole reason Julian is still alive. If I had died in the fire along with my parents, he would have died the moment my grandfather passed away. I wish I could have known my mother’s father, even if for only a little while. The thought of his passing and my mother’s family brings an interesting question to mind that I hadn’t even considered before now.
“Julian,” I say, lifting my head from his chest to look at him, “you’ve never brought up my grandmother. Is she dead?”
Julian frowns and doesn’t say anything right away. After a few seconds, he tells me, “She left us when your mother was ten years old.”
“Left?” I ask. “Why did she do that?”
“It’s happened over the years,” Julian replies. “Some people who marry companions can’t accept the way we live. Knowing that the man or woman that you love will always feel a closer bond to someone else can be hard to understand and accept. A few of the spouses became jealous of the special relationship I’ve had with my companions or they simply couldn’t live the rest of their lives dealing with the creatures in my world.”
“So did she just pack her things and leave one day? Did she at least say good-bye to my mom?” I couldn’t imagine abandoning my own child so selfishly, but I try to keep in mind the old adage about there always being two sides to a story. I shouldn’t pass judgment on a woman I never knew. Perhaps she had problems of her own that caused her to run away from her family.
“I think she said good-bye to them in her own way,” Julian says. “Your grandfather told me that the day before she left us was one of the happiest days of his life.”
“That seems even crueler. To make them so happy one day and then tear their world apart the next.”
“I think she just wanted to leave them with a good memory of her,” he explains, not exactly agreeing with my grandmother’s actions, but not condemning her for them either.
“Did you and my grandfather try to track her down?”
Julian shakes his head. “No. Part of becoming the spouse of a companion is the promise that if they decide to leave, we don’t look for them. They’re the only ones who have the option of leaving, and like I said, some people just aren’t able to cope with the world as I know it.”
“That must have been hard on my grandfather and mom,” I say, feeling sorry for their loss. Maybe that’s why family time was so important to my mother. Having her own mother abandon her at such a young age must have formed a deep-set desire to keep her family as tight-knit as possible.
“Losing her devastated the both of them,” Julian recounts, sounding saddened by the memory. “But after a while, they were both able to put it behind them and find new reasons to go on living. I’m not sure either of them ever forgave your grandmother for leaving us, but a part of them understood the reasoning behind her decision.”
“I’ll never leave you,” I promise vehemently. “You may not want to get married yet, and that’s fine. It would probably look odd to others if we rushed into marriage anyway, but I want to make a vow to you now that I will always stand by your side no matter what happens in our lives. I hope that we have more good times than bad, but that’s not always the case in life. I will always support you in whatever endeavor you seek to accomplish, and I will always love only you. I know the future seems uncertain for us right now, and I can’t pretend to know what will happen while we try to cope with what the alfar want from me and find a cure to finally end your torment. The only thing that I am certain of is the love we feel for one another, and I promise you nothing and no one will ever tear that down no matter how hard they try.”
Julian stops dancing but continues to hold me in his arms as he looks at me.
“I don’t deserve you,” he says in a whisper. “I don’t deserve to be this happy.”
“Everyone deserves to be loved,” I tell him as I bring my arms up from around his waist and cradle the back of his neck with my hands. “And I will love you until my dying breath, Julian Movila.”
“I want to kiss you,” he tells me in a voice so low it sounds like a growl.
“Then why don’t you?” I ask with a faint smile. “I promise I won’t stop you.”
“I’m afraid that if I start kissing you now, I won’t be able to stop at just one kiss,” he confesses. The rise and fall of Julian’s chest increases as his breaths come faster and faster.
“Then let’s go back to the condo, so you never have to stop kissing me, and see where the night takes us from there.”
I don’t have to make my suggestion twice. Julian picks me up in his arms and quickly walks across the Peristyle toward the awaiting limo. He hurriedly thanks the quartet for coming and tells them they can leave. As we approach the limo, our driver opens the back door for us. I notice Nadia walking out from the shadows of a nearby oak tree as she hurriedly makes her way back to the car as well. I suppose Julian was right. She was lurking in the shadows watching out for us.
Once we’re on our way back to the French Quarter, I notice Julian stays glued to his side of the car. He seems to be making it a point not to hold my hand or touch me in any way. He directs his gaze outside the window as we drive, not even looking in my general direction. I find his behavior odd, considering the reason we’re making a mad dash back to the condominium, but I don’t say anything about it. I know he wants me as much as I want him. I decide not to dwell on it and assume all will be explained once we’re alone.
In a matter of minutes, we arrive back at the condo. I’m immediately greeted by a meowing Viktor as he makes a mad dash down the hallway from the living room area. I lean down to pick him up and notice how fresh he smells from spending time outside while we were gone. Julian reaches over and plucks Viktor from my arms without any warning.
“I’m afraid you will need to find another warm body to sleep with tonight,” Julian informs my cat.
“Well, he’s not sleeping with me,” Nadia is quick to say. “I don’t like cats.”
“Then I guess he’ll just have to find his own place to sleep,” Julian declares, “because there won’t be much sleeping being done in Sarah’s room this evening.”
“Meow,” Viktor says, sounding dismayed.
Julian sets him back on the floor and grabs one of my hands.
“We’ll see you in the morning,” he says off-handedly to Nadia. “And don’t come into our room if you hear a lot of noise being made in there.”
“Yes,” Nadia says, watching us walk past her. “I already assumed I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.”
Within a matter of seconds, I find myself in our bedroom and pinned against the back of the door.
I have to catch
my breath when I feel Julian press his body up against me. He slides one of his legs between mine until the center of me is pressed firmly against his thigh. His hands cup my face gently as he lowers his head until our breaths begin to mingle.
Julian doesn’t say a word, he simply looks at my face like he’s trying to memorize every inch of it.
“Why aren’t you kissing me?” I ask breathlessly, curious to know why he’s stopping when we’re so close to having what we both desire.
“I want to remember this moment in as much detail as I possibly can,” he says, gently sliding the pads of his thumbs along my cheekbones as he draws his mental picture of me. “I feel like my whole life has been a string of tragedies, one leading to the next without any hope of them ever ending. Then, when I saw you that first night in the club, I knew you were destined to change me forever.”
“How did you know that?” I ask.
Julian shakes his head a little. “I’m not sure. Maybe it was just intuition or possibly divine intervention. Either way, I knew in that moment that I would never be the same again. You are unlike anyone else who has ever entered my life, and after tonight, I know I will have shared myself with the one person in this world who holds not only my heart, but also my soul in her hands. Right now, I’m not sure I could ever let you go from my life or my heart, and after we make love, the taste of you will linger on my tongue and my memory forever. If you have any doubts or reservations about what we’re about to do, I need for you to voice them now, because there’s no way I’ll be able to make myself pull away from you later.”
“I appreciate the offer,” I say, grabbing the lapels of his jacket tightly, “but there’s no way in hell you’re leaving this room without making love to me first. So stop talking about something that will never happen and start keeping the promise you made to me last night. I want you to taste me. I want you to etch every inch of my body into your memory, because I’m not only your last companion, Julian; I’m the last lover you will ever have in this lifetime. Kiss me now, and don’t you dare stop until I tell you to.”