They fixed the leak, vacuumed up the standing water, and he drove to his construction office for industrial fans to dry the rest. Tina insisted on making them lunch and the three of them laughed over spaghetti and bread until they had to get ready for work.
It was a shock to discover she truly considered him her friend. Despite how things had started between them, she respected who he was as a person. His respect for her was obvious in every word and gesture.
He constantly asked her to come work for him and she repeatedly told him no. “I’d pay you well and respect your boundaries. I wish you’d reconsider.”
“I like you and I don’t have a lot of friends, Holden. You and Tina are it and I don’t want anything to mess things up.”
She knew he wanted her but he was never inappropriate. He never touched her unnecessarily and he was the first man to whom she could honestly apply the statement. Even Park often slapped her butt when she worked behind the bar.
Not a single person in her life talked to her the way he did. No subject was off limits and even when they disagreed, the discussions didn’t falter. They talked religion and politics, the state of the world, and where they saw themselves in it. There were times she felt enlightened and times she could see that he was.
Every night, she replayed their conversations as she fell asleep.
When her mother had company, Jo would unlock her truck and drive to QuikTrip since it was the only place open. She’d buy herself a sweet tea and a cherry Dr. Pepper for Holden. They’d finish them in the parking lot while they talked then she’d drive him back to his truck at the bar before heading home.
Donna hadn’t technically worked in months since she’d been fired. A couple of times a week, she shoved envelopes of money under Jo’s door for bills. It was hard to accept where she got it when most of the guys treated her bad.
On one such night, sipping their drinks, she was quiet for a long time.
The day before, her mother had given her enough for the rent but had bruises around her neck for the second time in a week. When she tried to examine them, Donna self-consciously batted her hands away and said it was an accident.
Holden gave her peace to think and she appreciated that he knew she needed it. When she exhaled roughly, he asked her, “How the hell did you turn out so steady?”
Staring through the windshield, she replied, “What you really wonder is how I avoided becoming an alcoholic hooker like Donna.” He opened his mouth to object as she turned to him. “I never lie to myself.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “Life is like gravity. You have to let it keep you grounded, but you can never let it keep you down.”
Jo sipped her tea for a minute. “I didn’t know there was anything different about my life until I started school. Donna is only fifteen years older than I am and I found out that was weird. I didn’t have a dad. I was told she was a statistic; high school dropout, teen mother, welfare dependent, and looking for men to take care of her.”
“I’m sorry, Jo.”
“To fill in awkward silences, I read. Soon, I read for pleasure and loved it. I learned about the world outside the shitty little trailer park I lived in and knew I never wanted to be like my mother.”
“Did anyone ever try to help you?”
“She lost me several times but always got me back. Donna cleans up well. When she’s sober, she’s smart and funny. I’ve believed in her, given her money, pulled her out of trouble, and tried to help her stay straight.”
There was a sharp shake of her head. “An addict is an addict until they wake up. Maybe one day she will, I don’t know. I hope she does. In the meantime, she’s wasting her life. Men use her, hurt her, and I can’t watch it anymore. I’m scared to leave her but I have to get out of that house.”
Holden didn’t say anything for a long time. His back against the door, he stared at her and she was struck again at the way he looked at her. “I’m sorry for the life you’ve led but not for how you turned out. Do you need help getting into a place?”
Jo smiled. “No. I’ve saved every dime I could since I was eight years old and running errands for elderly neighbors. Kept it in coffee cans until a few years ago. I cut my own hair. I bought this truck outright and I’m real gentle on her. I buy secondhand clothing because I’m not picky.”
“Damn, Jo.”
“I’ve had the money to move for a long time but there are things I have to finish. The trailer has to be safe. I’m prepaying her utilities by adding another twenty or so dollars every month to her payment. Mainly, I want my school finished before I take on my own place. I don’t want to lose my focus.”
“When do you think you’ll be on your own?”
“A month or so. I sit for my tests end of next week. I’ll look for a place close by so I can keep an eye on Donna for a little. It’ll help me sleep better at night.” Jo changed the subject and asked him about his company’s current projects.
He’d told her once that she was the only woman he’d ever known who showed a genuine interest in blue-collar work. Since Holden worked a lot, being able to talk to her about snags on a job or headway they’d made meant a lot to him.
They chatted for another hour before she thought it would be safe to head back to the house. The rope was on the ground in front of the door and she sighed.
“I’m sure it’s all-clear. She never remembers to take it off.”
Holden walked her to the door and kissed the top of her head before she went inside. “Goodnight, Jo.” He grinned and thanked her for his Dr. Pepper.
“Goodnight, Holden. Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime you’re talking, I’m going to listen. I like the way you think.”
“Drive safe.”
For a long moment, he stared down at her and she saw how much he wanted to kiss her. Finally, he exhaled slowly and gave her a smile. “I was close there for a minute but I know how strong you are for an itty bitty thing.”
That made her laugh out loud. “No one in all my life’s called me itty bitty. Go on now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He gave her a wink and she went inside. One second from calling out Donna’s name as the door swung wide, it strangled in her throat.
Later, she would learn that it was the sound of her screaming her mother’s name that brought Holden running as he was about to get in his truck.
Chapter Six
Jo heard Holden slam into the house with the back of her mind but she didn’t look at him. She was busy trying to stop the bleeding from a huge gash in Donna’s stomach.
“Mama? Oh my god!”
Holden called 911 and she kept pressure on the wound. Every beat of Donna’s heart pumped large amounts of blood through her fingers. It didn’t seem possible for someone to have so much inside them. Her mother was naked except for a pair of lace black panties and bleeding out on her bedroom floor.
Nothing seemed real.
Holden crouched to cover Donna’s upper body with a robe then positioned a folded towel over the deep laceration and added his hand on top of Jo’s to help slow the flow of blood. He gave the dispatcher information calmly while Jo screamed inside her mind.
Her mother lifted her hand to Jo’s face just above hers and smiled. “You were always so damn pretty, JoEllen. Even as a baby. I’m sorry I was such a horrible mama but I always loved you. Forgive me, Jo. Say you forgive me for all my mistakes.”
“I forgive you. I love you.” Her voice wasn’t steady. “Who did this to you?”
“Buddy French. Just one more loser in a long line of losers. I did things all wrong. I just wanted to feel loved, to feel pretty again, to feel worth a damn.”
“You are loved and I’ve always thought you were the prettiest woman I ever saw. You’re worth so much to me, Mama. You are.”
“I haven’t been as sober as I am this instant in a long time. I’m tired and I’m cold but I’m not afraid, Jo. If you forgive me, God surely will, don’t you think?”
“Of course He will. You n
ever meant to hurt anyone. He’ll remember all the times you fought to get me back. That’s what I remember most, Mama. You would have had it easier without me but you always fought to get me back.”
“Without you, I was all alone. You were the only one ever loved me. The only one…”
“Mama, hang on for me. You’re the only family I have. I love you, I need you.”
“I love you, Jo.”
* * * * *
Donna’s eyes drifted closed and Jo whispered at her ear until the paramedics arrived. Then Holden lifted her gently out of the way.
Her mother never regained consciousness and was pronounced dead ten minutes later.
Jo gave her statement to the police when they arrived and offered a description of Buddy French. She sat on the sofa and everyone could see she was in shock. Tears streamed down her cheeks but she made no sound.
Holden left to get his truck from the bar and got back as the older officer asked her if she had anywhere to go.
“Can I pack a bag? I’ll…I’ll go to the motel up the street.”
“Yes, ma’am. We have to wait for you since this is a crime scene.” The man treated her gently and spoke quietly with his partner as Jo packed her things.
She put her clothes and few personal belongings in one large duffle bag and reached into the top of the kitchen pantry for the money she’d been saving for Donna. She was on the patio when she ran back inside and took the picture of her and her mother off her wall.
Her feet stumbled in the direction of her truck and she barely managed to get the key in the door.
Holden took her keys, slung her bag over his shoulder, and scooped her up. “Jo, I’m taking you to my house. There’s a guest room and separate bathroom. You’re in no condition to drive and you need to shower and sleep. I told the officers.”
When she said nothing, he considered that agreement and headed for his truck. He put her carefully on the passenger seat and put her bag in the back. As he climbed behind the wheel, he looked worriedly at Jo.
“It’s going to be alright.” Holden pulled out of the trailer park and headed in the direction of his place. She was quiet and pale in the light from the dash.
Suddenly, she began to babble. “I…I don’t have any other family. I have to arrange the funeral. I wonder who’ll come. Probably her tricks…that shouldn’t be awkward at all. Holden, pull over.”
He did immediately and she jumped from the truck, dropping to her knees on the shoulder and vomiting violently. He slammed on his hazards and raced around to help her. Holding her hair, he made sure she had nothing left before grabbing a bottle of water and napkins from his console.
Jo wiped her mouth like a robot and spit several mouthfuls of water. He stroked her back for a long minute then lifted her carefully into the passenger seat.
She shook so hard he worried he’d drop her. He stepped back to close the door.
“I…I’m covered in Mama’s blood! It soaked through my clothes. Oh my god, I have to get them off. I have to get them off!”
Jo pulled at her clothes and Holden shrugged off his jacket and over shirt. She stripped frantically in the front seat of his truck and when she was down to her white cotton panties and nothing else, he put his shirt on her before wrapping her in his jacket.
“We’ll be to the house in fifteen minutes, Jo. You can shower. Hang on a little longer, baby. Hang on a little longer.”
He put her clothes on the back seat floorboards after he removed everything from the pockets and closed her door. Breaking every speed limit posted, he pulled into the workshop garage attached to the house in record time and lifted her out.
Carrying her through his house to the larger master bath, he turned on the shower and took his jacket off her shaking frame.
“I’ll go get your bag.” She didn’t respond. “Jo…honey, are you with me?”
She stood still, staring vacantly at the wall.
Holden took off his t-shirt and boots, removed his cell phone and wallet, and guided her under the water. He washed her hair and body quickly and thoroughly, doing his best to remain detached.
When he was certain there wasn’t so much as a smear of her mother’s blood on her, he tugged her gently from the stall. He dried her, wrapped her in a towel, and led her to his room.
He felt a little steadier once he dropped one of his t-shirts over her head and pulled a pair of his sleep pants up her lower body. The waist had to be rolled over to get them to stay up but that seemed to do the trick.
“Jo, sit right here and let me change into dry clothes. I’ll tuck you into the guest room. Give me just a minute.” He grabbed sleep pants and a tank top, dressed quickly, and brushed his teeth.
Back into his bedroom, he found Jo asleep on a tiny corner of his bed, curled in a ball with her damp hair around her. His clothes were enormous on her and it made her look fragile, something he knew would infuriate her.
“Damn, Jo, you are so very pretty.”
Holden pulled back the bedding and picked her up. He laid her on the pillows, covered her with the blankets, and she never stirred.
He got in beside her and held his breath as she gravitated to him in her sleep. She tucked into a snug ball with her shins against his side and her arms folded tightly to her chest. Holden wrapped his arm around her and she lifted her head to lay her cheek on his shoulder.
Hours later, Jo started screaming her mother’s name and thrashing in her sleep.
“Jo…JoEllen. Honey…its Holden. You’re okay. Ssh, it’s alright. Sleep now, it will be better in the morning.” She wasn’t really awake as she broke into agonizing sobs. “There you go, honey. Let it all out, Jo. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It will be okay. Sleep now, pretty girl. Deal with it all in the morning.”
Holden tightened his arms around her and whispered soothingly until she quieted and slipped back to sleep. She wrapped her arm over his stomach, her breathing deep and even. Jo returned to the fetal position along his side and he was amazed at how small she could make herself.
It was a long time before he was able to fall back to sleep but the sound of her steady breathing and the repetition of rubbing her back finally did the trick.
His last thought was how desperate he was to make her his woman so she was never alone again.
Chapter Seven
Jo opened her eyes and had no clue where she was. She was used to waking in a completely dark space with a tiny nightlight.
Wherever she was now was pink with morning light through sheer white curtains. It was the most beautiful color she’d ever seen.
She whispered, “A window. This is what waking up with a window is like.”
Then she realized she was sleeping on Holden. He smelled good and was the warmest person she’d ever touched. She lifted her face and his green eyes stared at her.
“Good morning, Jo. How are you feeling?” His voice was rough from sleep.
She pulled back to look at him more fully. “How…how did I get here?”
“After you got sick…do you remember getting sick?” She nodded uncertainly. “Do you remember stripping in my truck because your clothes were…upsetting you?” Jo shook her head and her brow wrinkled in concentration.
“I…I remember getting sick and you coming around. I kind of remember you picking me up. A garage. A bathroom. Not much else.”
Holden cleared his throat. “You wanted them off. I dressed you in my shirt. You were in shock.”
“You washed the…the blood off?” He nodded and she glanced down. “Thank you. These must be…your clothes?”
“I was afraid to leave you to go get your bag. It’s still in the truck.” After a long pause, he added, “I’m so sorry about your mom, Jo. I know she was your only family.”
When silent tears filled her eyes and fell on his chest, she was embarrassed and hid her face. He rolled to his side and cupped her head against him.
“I’ll help you take care of her arrangements. I know you’re scared and overwhelmed. Plea
se let me help you.” She nodded, crying harder. “Don’t worry; it’ll be okay.”
Holden held her firmly, rubbing his hand up and down her back. After a long time she said so quietly he almost missed it, “I knew a window would be pretty in the morning.”
He almost started crying himself. The thought that a woman like Jo had never had the chance to wake in a room with a window was heartbreaking. He wasn’t surprised when she silently cried herself back to sleep.
* * * * *
When Jo woke up fully a couple of hours later, she knew it was the longest she’d slept in years. Holden was gone but there was a note on the pillow beside her.
“I didn’t want to wake you, Jo. You needed to sleep. I brought in your bag; it’s at the foot of the bed. The bathroom is to your right. Make yourself at home. There’s coffee. Take a deep breath and come on out whenever you’re ready. Holden.”
She got up and used the bathroom, showered, and got dressed quickly.
When she opened the bedroom door, she followed the smell of coffee to a beautiful kitchen. Holden was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, his hair tousled around his face. His feet were bare.
“Good morning again,” she said quietly.
Turning, Holden took her in from head to toe and sighed. It made her blush lightly. “Good morning, Jo. You look much more rested. How are you feeling?”
“Uncertain. A little confused. Scared, to be honest.”
Jo took a seat on a stool at the bar that ran the length of the kitchen and set the coffee can she’d taken from her mother’s kitchen the night before on the granite top.
“Holden, thank you for taking care of me. I’m sorry I fell apart on you.”
“No matter what, don’t apologize for having a breakdown over what happened last night. Losing someone is always hard. Losing them to violence is worse. Being the one to find her was…horrifying.”
Gravity: A Country Romance Page 3