The deputy’s head snapped back. “Why would she?”
“I found out, too late, I might add, that Grant had a bit of a crush on her. He’s been following her around, or I guess I should use past tense.” Simon shook his head to complete the effect. “If I had known, I might have been able to turn this around before it became a tragedy.”
The deputy pushed off from the chair and stood up straight again. “You mean Grant was stalking her.”
“Nothing on that level. But you can imagine what the news about her dating Hank did to Grant.”
“Did he say he was afraid of Hank?”
A reasonable assumption and Simon stored that information away for later. He could push the thinking in that direction if needed, but for now he wanted the spotlight on Lindsey. All the pressure on her. “More like afraid of Lindsey.”
Frank Jr. nodded, looking every bit in charge and more like his father than ever. “I’ll look into it.”
Simon held up his hands. “That’s all I’m asking.”
Chapter Eight
Hours after the police left and the van took Grant’s body away, Lindsey paced her bedroom. The night had fallen and the house had gone to sleep. It was almost two in the morning and she couldn’t close her eyes without seeing Grant’s limp form. He’d scared her and come at her with a gun, but she hadn’t wished him dead. She just wanted to be left alone.
Right now she needed to research or watch mindless television or do something to fill her head with something other than images of blood and gunshot wounds. Normally she’d wander into her family room and do things to keep her busy. Not tonight. Not with two men sacked out on her couch and floor.
After the awful day and all those questions from the deputy she almost felt bad about shutting down on Holt and asking for a few minutes alone. Those minutes turned into hours and now she hovered on the edge of going stir-crazy.
Her in the room with the big bed. Two big men trapped in her small family room with all her extra pillows and blankets, not that they seemed to care about the cramped quarters or lack of amenities. She thought there was probably a better solution, but she couldn’t figure it out.
Well, that wasn’t true. She knew what she wanted. Holt in here with her.
She thought it and two seconds later she heard a soft knock at her door. After a quick look down at her shorts pajamas, a pink version of the ones Holt had already seen, she reached over and turned the knob. Holt stood there wearing a T-shirt and boxers and nothing else. He had a gun in his hand and stared at her.
“Are you okay?” His voice was filled with concern.
She tried to think back to the past few minutes. She hadn’t knocked anything over. She half wondered if she’d started talking out loud. It wouldn’t be the first time. She considered it more or less a hazard of living alone. “Why?”
“You’re walking around in here.” He made a circle in the air with his finger. “Like, nonstop.”
She glanced at her bare feet and curled her pink toenails under. There was no way she’d made enough noise to bring her armed bodyguards running. “You could hear that?”
His gaze dropped. Bounced down her body, then right back up again. “I’m aware of everything you do.”
“That sounds odd.” But not bad. The tone and words had her body warming from the inside out.
He blew out a long breath. “If you’re okay I’ll go.”
“Stop.” She caught his arm before he could execute the great escape. Without using any force, she had him turned around again. His eyebrows rose, but he didn’t say anything, so she jumped back into talking. “You can stay for a few minutes.”
He looked at the bed, then at her again. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
The sudden need for him overwhelmed her. She craved his presence. But she knew where his mind went. Hers drove there, too, but she mulled the possibilities over and arrived at a different conclusion.
She wanted him in here, with her. Tonight she needed comfort and reassurance, two things she’d blocked from her life for so long.
Dragging anyone else into her mess struck her as unfair. She lived with danger just out of reach but always waiting there to strike. Lately, it had walked right up to her door. The long hours of research and all the secrets. Sharing even a portion of that made anxiety churn deep in her belly.
But with Holt something changed. He knew danger, lived mired in it and didn’t flinch. He would be the type to listen and help her meet her goal...after he lectured her to death about safety. Even with his hotness factor shooting off the charts, he came with some downsides. A stubbornness that matched hers was one.
She stepped back and held out a hand to him. “Just for a few minutes.”
He seemed to hesitate, but at least he lowered his gun. “What exactly do you want me to do here?”
Being bold meant taking risks. She didn’t do that in her personal life. She’d step right out on the line when it came to doing battle with New Foundations. She fought behind the scenes, but she did fight.
Romance, dating, all that took a backseat. Her experience was limited and she hadn’t even been attracted to a man on any physical level in more than a year except for the usual “he’s pretty cute” thoughts when she saw some guys around at times.
Still, she jumped in this time knowing he could turn her down and make every second of whatever time they had left together awkward. But from the heat banked in his eyes, she guessed he wouldn’t. “Lie down with me until I fall asleep.”
His features softened. “Are you scared? Because nothing is going to happen in this house with Shane and me here.”
She knew that. When he’d promised her earlier that she wouldn’t be arrested right there and then and dragged away from him, she believed that, too. He wanted her safe. She got that.
Whether she amounted to nothing more than a potential witness to him, she didn’t know. But he meant more to her. He’d become a symbol of how things could be. Decent and strong. Most of the men she’d known in her life failed at both of those.
She didn’t lower her hand. Not yet. “Please.”
His gaze jumped back to the mattress before landing on her face again. “For a few minutes only, because I need to keep watch.”
As excuses went, that was a strong one. She ignored it anyway. “Thanks.”
He unloaded his weapon, then double-checked it before putting it on the table next to her bed. She was going to tell him about the drawer and the small gun safe in there until she remembered him searching through everything in the room with her once they found her gun missing.
Another fact that she could not think about right now. If she added up all the problems of the tragedies of the past few days, she might have to curl up in a ball in the corner. If her mind turned to Roger and what possibly happened to him, she froze.
She didn’t have many friends, choosing instead to keep people at a distance and out of harm’s way. She cared about Roger. He might not be able to articulate his feelings for her, but she knew he depended on her, and for him that meant something. And she might have failed him.
Holt turned back to her and took her hand. “Lindsey?”
She shook her head, pushing out all the negatives and concentrating on the one positive thing that had happened to her—him. “Sorry.”
“Are you nervous?” When she shook her head, he frowned. “You’re not afraid of me, are you?”
The conversation had sure gone sideways in the past few seconds. When her thoughts started spinning, he’d shifted into worry mode. She wanted him to back out of it. “I wouldn’t want you with me if I were. Truth is, you make me feel safe...and other things.”
He nodded but instead of leading her to the bed, he pulled her in close. “We’re going to do this first. Get it out of the way so it’s not hanging out there between us.”
Before she could ask what he was talking about, he lowered his head and his mouth covered hers. The kiss seared through her from the start. Hot and f
ull of need, it pulled her under. Heat enveloped them as his hands found her lower back and hers went to his shoulders. Fingers speared through his soft hair as their lips met again and again.
Something welled inside her. It felt like power and excitement. An intoxicating blend. She couldn’t get close enough as her mouth traveled over his.
After a minute of touring and tasting each other, he broke away, panting. Heavy breaths blew through her hair as he rested his cheek against hers. “That may have been a mistake.”
She could feel his erection press into the space between her legs. A fresh rush of warmth raced through her. “Felt pretty good to me.”
“Too good.” He stepped back, putting a few inches of air between them. “That’s the point.”
For a second she thought he was going to leave, but he leaned down and pulled the covers back. “Get in.”
She didn’t hesitate. She scurried inside, letting the soft sheets fall around her. She was about to say something to him, give him an out, when he slid in beside her. One turn and he lay behind her with an arm around her waist. His mouth lingered in her hair and a now familiar bulge pressed against her.
“You’re safe with me.” The words vibrated in his chest as he spoke them. “Always. You can count on that.”
She knew what he was saying. He’d keep her safe but he also wouldn’t make a move tonight. The last part both settled and unsettled her. Shane was asleep right outside the door, and the walls were on the thin side. Noises would carry. Then there was the harsh reality of bad timing and the fact that getting involved with Holt would amount to a huge mistake.
All the right answers and items in the “no” column. Still... “I like you holding me.”
“Anytime.” He laughed. A rich, gruff sound. “Does that sound cheesy?”
“The exact opposite.”
She snuggled in, letting her muscles relax as she balanced against him. She should close her eyes and fall off to sleep. Let the poor guy grab a few minutes of rest. But even in the warm wrap of comfort a restlessness churned inside her. For the first time ever she felt the need to spill. To unburden herself.
She fought it off for minutes. Opened her mouth, then closed it and started to fight again.
“You can tell me about whatever has you fidgeting.” He squeezed her tighter in a touch so comforting.
Two more minutes of quiet passed, then... “He took me there after the divorce, to New Foundations.” The words tumbled out before she could stop them. “Mom got custody, but my father put me in a car during a visitation and drove me away. Stopped to pick up his brother and then we all kept going.”
“How old were you?” There was no judgment or surprise in his voice.
“Seven.” She kept her eyes open because closing them invited the mental images. “I remember the surroundings turning from sunshine and palm trees to miles without houses or stores.”
She’d ridden in the backseat and listened to them talk. Put her hand against the window, and instead of feeling the usual heat, coldness greeted her. Then she saw snow on the ground. She’d begged them to call her mom, and that only agitated her dad more, which started her uncle yelling. He called her ungrateful and blamed her for their move.
The drive went from talk about this big adventure where she got a new name, any one she wanted, to yelling and threatening. Her crying only made it all worse. Her uncle Walt grew angrier the longer they drove, and every time he twisted in his seat to glare at her, she cowered more.
“New Foundations wasn’t bad at first. There were other kids and all these people, and my dad kept insisting my mom would come there eventually.” Insisted until the one day her uncle told her never to ask again or he’d kill her mom. She stopped talking for weeks then. “Back then it had a different name and really was a sort of commune.”
“But it changed.”
She guessed he knew most of the background. “Was that in your research?”
“Yeah.”
She rubbed her hand over the arm banded around her stomach. Having him there, touching her, so close, settled her nerves. Made it possible to tell the story. “Things changed a few years in. My dad went from nervous and jumpy to paranoid. He was convinced the police were coming to take me away and made me practice all these drills. Learn how to shoot. My uncle seemed to encourage the mental decline and instability.”
Holt placed a soft kiss on the side of her head. “Did something happen that caused the change?”
“Looking back now, I think it was gradual, or maybe he was never well. I’m not sure.” She struggled to remember all he’d said, but in her young head it sounded wild and scary. Now she wondered if he suffered from delusions. It was as if he’d talked about being tracked and followed so many times that he started to believe it. “I’m not sure, but this new leader came in and the light feeling at the campground went away. I was probably twelve at the time.”
That was when the fear started. Her father had told her years before about her mother dying. Showed her a clipping from the paper. The new leader made her yearn for her other life, the one before. Her father loved the guy, and soaked up every word, while her uncle hung back. It caused a rift between the brothers. One she never quite understood because she did everything to stay out of Uncle Walt’s way.
“I tried to run away.” Twice, but the second time resulted in her being thrown into a hole and guarded, and she had no wish to relive that in her memories. “The days got worse. People left and the guns rolled in.”
“They’ve been up there for that long?”
She assumed that meant he had seen the storage facilities and all the weapons. “I was about fourteen when the amount of firepower started to register in my head. No one said what it was for. The adults likely knew, but I didn’t.”
“There’s enough for a small army up there now. Weapons regular citizens shouldn’t possess.”
She shivered at the thought and he pulled her in tighter against his body, tucking her head under his chin. “I escaped before my fifteenth birthday. I was supposed to start learning new battle techniques. I had no idea what that meant, but I needed out. The kids rarely got to leave the camp back then.”
“It’s still the case. Adults can come and go with more ease.”
“I hid in the back of a delivery truck. It was refrigerated and I almost froze by the time I got off the mountain and out of there.” If she thought about it long enough, she could still feel the numbness in her fingers. “The older Sheriff Carver was up there all the time, so I knew not to run to him. I hitched and got far enough away where I could ask for help.”
“That story makes me crazy.” Holt blew out a harsh breath.
She could hear the anger in his voice but knew it wasn’t aimed at her. “Why?”
“You were put in danger.” His back moved as he blew out a long breath. “The police wherever you ended up didn’t do anything to start an investigation at the campground?”
“I didn’t contact the police. If I did, my father and uncle would find me, or at least that’s what I thought.” Her only goal back then had been to get out. She didn’t really have the life skills to do much else, but her survival instinct kept her going. “I found a woman, who got me to another couple, who eventually got me to my aunt.”
“Your mom really was dead?”
“Yes.” The biggest regret of Lindsey’s life was not getting out in time to let her mom know she was safe. “I went with my aunt, who taught me what I needed to know and changed my name and hid with me.”
Aunt Chloe turned her life upside down for her without question. She made Lindsey promise not to go near her father ever again. When Lindsey lost her last year in a car accident, she’d lost her last ties to her extended family.
“A few years ago, my father died in a raid about a hundred miles away from here. The New Foundations folks stood up for some guy engaged in a battle with the FBI.” Her aunt had delivered the news without emotion. Lindsey tried to mourn but couldn’t.
Holt leaned over and kissed the side of her head. “I’m sorry.”
The sweet touch sent a new spiral of warmth running through her. That and the acceptance. She didn’t hear pity or disgust in his voice. Just a gentle understanding. “Great gene pool, huh?”
“Don’t let your father’s actions define you.” Holt’s hand slipped up higher, to just under her breast. “I think you’re pretty amazing.”
“You know I want to turn over and face you, right?”
His breath grew heavier. “Go to sleep.”
He was right and she tried not to grumble about it. “Where will you be?”
“Right beside you.”
She took that as a vow and let herself drift off.
* * *
ONCE SHE FINALLY fell asleep, the morning came fast. She woke up with her legs tangled with Holt’s and his arms still around her. When he got up to shower, she turned and buried her face in his pillow. Smelled his scent on the sheets.
He’d left a few minutes ago to run some errands for what was supposed to be his job. He said some sort of memorial service was being planned for Grant and he had to do some things for it.
That left her alone with Shane. Not exactly a hardship, since he stood in the middle of her kitchen making her breakfast. There was no end to the talents of these Corcoran Team gentlemen.
She watched him move. He had the same easy control over his surroundings that Holt had. They both stood around six feet tall. Shane was broader and more muscular. Handsome, with his light brown hair and the scruffy start of a beard around his chin.
He had a bit of a boyish handsomeness about him. Not the dark and brooding look Holt possessed. She found Shane cute and easy to be around. Holt made her hot and jumpy and ready to replan her entire life to spend time with him.
Yeah, she was in trouble in the don’t-get-attached department.
“Have a good night?” Shane glanced up at her as she took a chair at the small kitchen table. “You should see your face. It was a neutral question, I promise.”
It felt more like a test. Since she guessed Shane was like Holt in that he believed in straight talk, she gave him some. “We’re not sleeping together. Me and Holt, I mean.”
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