My gaze slid down over my plump figure. I could afford to skip one meal. I nibbled on my lips, contemplating. I doubted anyone would miss me.
I slid up onto my elbows and studied the forest before me. I strained my ears; I didn’t hear any wolves nearby. I sniffed the air; I didn’t scent any wolves within the vicinity. Within the next twenty minutes they would all convene for our family dinner. Once night fully fell, they would go home for the night. No one would come searching for me.
I lay back down, settling in. I was going to spend the night with Mother Nature. She was always welcome company.
—
Chapter Four
JAYSON
I honed in on Laina’s place at the table, as I did every night. Her mother, father and brother were present, but she was noticeably absent. I would have felt if she was in danger, which allowed anger to prevail. Why wasn’t she here?
“Mirna, where is Laina?”
The middle-aged woman smiled sweetly at me, but couldn’t hide the irritation in the rest of her features. “I’m afraid I don’t know.”
“She’s got enough meat on her to skip a month of family dinners,” her brother, Roberto, mumbled.
My anger morphed to rage as I slammed my fist down on the table. The entire pack grew quiet as they stared at me in horror.
My wolf roared inside me. Every hair stood up on him, every muscle buckled as he rammed against his cage. I bore down on my muscles, grinding my teeth to help me contain him.
Mirna’s cheeks colored as her nostrils flared. “Don’t worry about her, Jayson. She’s a big girl. She can afford to miss a few meals.”
Her father, Rupert, was sitting silently beside his wife. His eyes were gray storms as they glared at the empty seat beside his son.
“No one in this pack is going without,” I declared.
My wolf rumbled, echoing my statement. He scratched at my lungs, cutting my chest, scraping the cage around my heart raw.
“She doesn’t deserve such mercy.” Rupert scowled, the words having been spit from his mouth.
I bristled, on the verge of combusting.
“Relax, bro. It’s no big deal if she misses dinner.” Aaron, my brother and pack beta, sat back, crossing his arms over his chest casually.
“Where is she?” I looked around the table. “When was the last time any of you saw her?” My fury was the only thing keeping fear from overwhelming me. I didn’t know what I’d do if she ran away.
Murmurs erupted around the table, but no one could answer me. Did they really think that little of her?
“Maybe she’s just late?” Ramona, one of the pack elders, offered.
I gazed at her aging face, discomfort settling in my chest.
“Why is he so worried about the fat one?” Sarah grumbled to her best friend, Amanda. My wolf sneered. Her high school immaturity was the only thing saving her.
“Who knows? She’s a disgrace to our pack if you ask me.” Amanda huffed.
“Is it such a harm if she misses one meal? Lord knows the girl has enough on her to hibernate all winter,” Rebecca, another mother, said.
“I think he feels obligated. She’s an unfortunate part of this pack, which makes her his responsibility,” Edna added her own two cents.
Several of the teenage boys began tossing around jokes about Laina’s size. The worst part, what crushed me inside, was that many of the adults, the examples of propriety sitting around this table, quietly laughed with them.
Where had I gone wrong? Where did I slip up in teaching them to protect their own, to look out for their own? We looked out for every member of this pack; young, old, big, small, it didn’t matter. They were one of us. Now I saw their true colors coming through. No wonder Laina didn’t want to be with me. I’d allowed them to ridicule her. I’d allowed them to push her away.
My body began to shake as their words swarmed me, igniting my wolf, ballooning my distress.
Aaron leaned across the table towards me. “Bro, you’re blowing this way up.”
“He’s probably the only one that cares. Even Mirna said her daughter was a massive disappointment,” Maxine whispered to my mother, my mother who sat primly at the table, acting as if nothing was happening.
Brad, my youngest brother stood. He came around and clapped my shoulder. “Let’s just sit and eat. If she doesn’t show, we’ll send a few people to look for her,” he stated.
They were so nonchalant. They acted as if their worlds weren’t collapsing because of one loss. The loss of one was a loss to all had been my motto.
My pulse quickened. My veins burned with something close to acid, though I knew it was my supreme disgust with my entire pack. I’d never wanted to walk away from my position so badly. I’d never wanted to punish an entire group of people.
My bones rattled as my wolf thrashed at the final barrier containing him. I was so close to letting him loose so he could shred them, so he could lash out at all of them for turning their backs on his mate, on my mate. Perhaps they could breathe easily without her, maybe they thought she wasn’t a vital part of us, but she would always be the most important part of me.
I shoved Brad off of me. I growled, the sound echoing throughout the cabin. I slapped one fist against the table followed by the other. The table shook, everything on top of it clattering. I glared at each one of them, spearing them with my eyes, slicing them with my indignation.
“How dare you defy me! How dare you dismiss one of our own!”
“She doesn’t contribute much,” someone stated.
My ears were burning, my muscles on the verge of splitting. My pulse echoed in my head, muffling my supernatural hearing.
“Says who?” I demanded.
“Son, you must admit, she is the… how shall we call her, the least of us?” My mother’s voice was low, her words spoken with proper delicacy.
I stared incredulously at her. “Maybe she’s the least to you, but she’s the most of me. She’s my fucking mate!”
Gasps sounded all around. My mother paled. I didn’t even bother looking towards Laina’s family.
“The loss of one is a loss to all, right? Well all of you go! If she doesn’t eat, then no one eats.” They’d officially tipped me over the edge.
Sputters flew. Several of the pack elders and my family were attempting to calm me, but I was too far gone. Their attempts to pacify me, to justify their judgments, fell upon deaf ears.
I’d never felt so out of control. I’d never been so close to committing mass murder. “Shut up! I’m ashamed of every one of you. I’m ashamed to be your alpha! I didn’t raise you this way. I didn’t teach you to alienate any one.”
“Surely we can do something,” Ramona said.
“There is nothing you can say or do now,” I bit out through gritted teeth. Each exhale was a loud huff. “Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, just go.”
“Damn it. I told you you should have given her away,” Roberto grumbled as he stood.
My wolf poked through. Before I knew what I was doing, I’d slammed Laina’s brother against the wall. “You want her gone? Well, I want you gone. I won’t allow her to be demeaned by her own flesh and blood. You and your family have twenty-four hours to vacate.”
His eyes widened in terror. “You… you don’t really mean that, right? I mean, I didn’t really mean it.” I loved how he suddenly became a squeaking mouse despite being two years older than his sister.
I growled, moving to mere inches from his face where I could stare him down. “Try me,” I snarled low and menacing.
“We’ll do better with her. Every family has their issues,” Mirna sniveled.
I let go of Roberto. He tumbled down, his ass smacking the floor as I spun towards her. “You should look up the definition of family. You’ve treated your daughter, my mate, like anything but. You think I don’t hear you? You think I’m oblivious to your snide remarks, to the way you humiliate her with your spiteful comments. My failure was not doing something about this sooner
. My disgrace, that I’ll have to live with forever, is knowing that I allowed her to be bullied by the ones I dedicated my life to protecting. I can’t blame her for rejecting me. I don’t even blame her for finally running away.”
“We could do far more for this pack than my daughter ever will,” Rupert stated. “As the alpha, you have to understand the importance of choice.”
“I value choice as much as I value integrity, ethics and morals. I want no one without them to represent me, the same way I refuse to represent those without them anymore. If that means I lose half the people here, then so be it. When questioned, I could consciously explain why I released you all. But come your day of atonement, you’ll be groveling when your mistakes are slathered before you.”
Rupert put his arm around his wife. Tears streamed down Mirna’s face, but her indignant expression ruined the sentiment.
Roberto lifted from the floor and went to stand behind his mother. “Come on, Mom. I don’t want to stay where we’re not wanted.” He no longer cowered but rather played the role of a rebellious teen, which wasn’t attractive on a twenty-eight year old male.
“If anyone else doesn’t agree with my stand, then leave with them,” I ordered.
No one moved a muscle. They all stood, scared straight as they watched the scene unfold in horror. Perhaps this was their day of atonement. Perhaps this was the night that needed to happen in order to make them learn. My job was to teach them, to guide them. There was no better way to mold them than with example and discipline.
I ground my teeth, flexing my jaw as I glared at Laina’s family. Despite what I’d done, I knew I’d still failed her. That’s what hurt the most. Not their actions, but my own.
It was going to take a lot to earn my place beside her, particularly when she deserved so much more than I’d ever given her.
“Shit. I’m sorry, bro.” Aaron scrubbed his face. I heard the apology in his voice, but it was too late. He’d already made his true feelings known.
“Save it,” I snapped.
Slowly, the pack began filing out of the dining room, making their way back to their homes around the central compound.
I watched as Amanda’s dad yanked on her ear, tugging her through the crowd. “You cost me my meal. You’re in deep shit little one,” he grumbled.
“It’s Laina’s fault for not showing up,” she whined.
I wanted to shake each and every one of them the way my body shook with a fury comparable only to a category ten hurricane, which was too far off the charts to define.
I turned away from them. Every step weighed me down further. I sank into my chair at the head of the table. I stared emptily at the food lining the center of the table. I didn’t doubt most of the pack members would go home and eat, which was why I didn’t bat a lash at dismissing them.
I ran my hand through my hair, yanking on my roots. It felt like the bottom had been pulled out from under me. I wanted to chase her. I wanted to hold her, to whisper a thousand apologies to her as I snuggled in bed with her… after thoroughly claiming her.
Fuck! That’s where I’d gone wrong. Damn it, the alpha commanded a certain level of respect; therefore, so did his mate.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on feeling her, on sensing her. She wasn’t near, but she wasn’t far. I took several deep breaths, hushing my wolf as we sought the essence of her soul in the air. When serenity was the only thing that registered, I knew she’d escaped for solace.
She could have her solace tonight, but come tomorrow, she was going to be mine. Part two of my off-the-cuff plan was to finally claim her. She was going to surrender to me in every part of her life. It was the only way I could assure her equality; it was the only way I could fully protect her.
My wolf howled in agreement. His persistent scratching slowed for a brief moment. His draw back confirmed that this was the best move. My wolf and I rarely agreed, but we would always do what was best for her. She was our common ground, as nature intended her to be. She was the one who would balance us; she was our unity. The beauty to my beast.
—
Chapter Five
LAINA
I rolled over. The cool grass tickled my cheek. I smiled, taking in nature as she woke. She was breathtaking. The mist that rose up over the mountains veiled her glory before the sun revealed her splendor.
I stretched, birds chirping in the distance fully awakening me. The river thrashed about; it was the equivalent of Earth’s own lively music.
I inhaled deep; Mother Nature’s breath invigorated me. It stilled my heavy heart and soothed my limbs.
Standing to my feet, I did a final sweep of the area. I didn’t get out here much. I wanted to enjoy every second before I had to face reality again.
I stood there a little while, absorbing nature’s harmony. Feeling the minutes tick by, I sighed, knowing I couldn’t put it off forever.
I gazed at the forest. The leaves created a thick brush that kept the floor from basking in the sun’s light. With one last glance back at the mountains and the river below, I sprinted towards the trees.
It was about an hour before I crossed onto pack property. The sun was high in the sky by then. I’d learned to appreciate these last few days of warmth before cooler days of fall took over and the sun disappeared for winter.
I headed for my family’s home, a small three-bedroom house on the eastern perimeter of the pack’s property.
I stood quietly outside the front door, listening closely for them. I strained my ears for their heartbeats, for their movements, for Papa’s soft snores, but was met with silence. I frowned, pushing open the door and stepping over the threshold.
I worried my bottom lip as I headed for my parent’s bedroom. Throwing open their door, I was met with naked furniture and stark walls. Fear pounded in my chest, churning my stomach.
I ran to their closet and slid the doors open. Nothing. There was nothing in there. It was as if they’d disappeared.
I was on the verge of vomiting as I dashed across the house to Roberto’s room. I stormed through his door, but was met with the same emptiness. I tossed open his closet doors, but it was all gone. Tears stung my eyes as the realization dawned on me. They’d left me. They’d finally left me.
My wolf howled long, sorrowful whimpers. We were family animals; we thrived off of those lifelong bonds.
Dazedly, I wandered to the kitchen in search of a note, a letter, anything. When I found nothing, not even silverware, I ambled to my bedroom. My hand hovered shakily over the knob. It was my last hope.
I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to the door. Regret washed through me. I knew I’d been a disappointment to them. I knew my weight was an embarrassment to them. My chest constricted as the truth stabbed my gut. I should have been the one to leave, not them. I could have made a life outside the pack amongst the humans. I could have saved my mother many dirty looks, saved my father many scrutinizing glares over how he’d raised me; I could have saved their reputations within the community. I’d been selfish to stay.
Taking one final breath, I thrust open my bedroom door. Nothing had been touched in my personal space; likewise, nothing new was present. They really had just up and left.
I batted at the disappointment, the desperate ache settling in my core. I knew I wasn’t the ideal were daughter they’d wanted, but I wasn’t the worst of the lot. I could have been a rebellious nightmare to raise.
Anger breached the outskirts of my emotions. I quickly tossed it aside though. In the end, it wasn’t their fault that I ended up the size I was. Likewise, it wasn’t my fault that they weren’t strong enough to handle the backlash with the same dignity that I did.
I sighed. I knew there was only one person I could make this right with: Jayson. I feared going to him, but I had no other choice. He would be the only one willing to tell me the truth; he would be the only one who would help me get them back.
I took a shower and changed into a fresh pair of clothes. I wasn’t dressed to impress, bu
t then again, I’d long ago abandoned my chances of attracting my mate on a physical level. I donned a part of dark grey sweat pant capris, a navy blue tank top that touched the bottom of my hips, and a pair of Nike tennis shoes. I tossed my soaked strands into a tight knot on top of my head.
I glanced around the living room. All the large furniture had been left behind. It was the tiny details that were missing. It was the inner pieces of the puzzle that were missing.
I opened the front door and stepped outside. I carefully closed the door behind me as I set out towards the alpha’s domain: a large two-story home in the center of pack property.
—
Chapter Six
JAYSON
I felt her getting closer. My wolf roused as my heart kicked up its beating pace. I threw on a pair of athletic shorts as I jogged downstairs.
The closer I got to the front door, the louder her footsteps became. I didn’t bother putting up pretenses. I immediately opened the door before she could knock. She was just arriving at the steps.
My heart swelled, my mind blanked for a moment as I took her in. She overwhelmed me. I wished everyone looked at her the way I did. I vowed to imprint my perspective on her. She should never hang her head in shame; she should always hold her head high, appreciating her beauty for its uniqueness.
Her approach slowed as she reached the final step. Her brows dipped in the center as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Come in.” I held the door wide. I inhaled her intoxicating scent as she hesitantly brushed past me.
She wrung her hands, standing in the center of the foyer as I closed the door. “Um, I’m sorry to bother you, but I was hoping you could tell me where my family went.”
I stood behind her, my grip tightening on the brass doorknob. I released it before I broke the fixture. “I dismissed them.”
She spun around, her eyes wide with shock. “What do you mean?”
“Your family is no longer welcome in this pack.”
Her eyes glossed over. She immediately averted her gaze. She fidgeted with her hands as she stared at the floor. “I, um…” She slowly lifted her face towards me. “I’ll-“
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